JustaKrusen/ Mrsjustakrusen

I have been going totally bonkers trying to figure out what song I am going to sing in church on the 11th. I have about 5 I am going back and forth  with. I practice on my way to and from work. My car becomes a mobile sound studio.. music playing and me either singing the words or doing some la la la’s as I try to memorize the melody. I you are driving down 690 about 7:00 AM or a little earlier—and you see some lady belting out songs as she is driving down the highway..well that lady might just be me!

There is one song I have been working on for months.. It is super dramatic-moving..and when I get done belting it out—I can not talk for a day. I looked at the time on the radio display today and it is 5 minutes—I think that is now ruled out.. too long!But there is one—I really love it.. ( I really love all these songs..) But I think I will do it. It times out at about 3.20 minutes. I think that is better.

I LOVE to sing.. it makes me whole. We all need something we can do that makes us feel whole. Some people I think look their whole life for that something and do not find it.

Singing to me is special to me, I feel like I am an instrument. Like I am not always in control of the singing—I become the tool to present the song. I do not feel like I am special, or that I have connections—that is not what I mean—but more that we all have God given talents… we are children of God…. and I feel the ability to sing is a gift. I do not know if that makes sense to anyone- but it is how it feels. Music is a part of me…I do nto ever want to take it for granted….  I hope till the day I die, that I have the ability to sing.

About 15 years ago I had a procedure done- it was supposed to be a simple endoscopic procedure. It was winter time, and I remember he only had me take off my winter coat.. I had on my street clothes—even my boots. There was only a little lidocaine spray and absolutely NO compassion…  the doctor- he was sadistic- barbaric. and he would laugh and jam the scope into my throat each time I gagged. It was like a scene from a horror movie—but it did not end.. this guy was a creep. When he finished I remember him tugging on my shoulder and saying”So how do you like me now?” Well he had trashed my throat..I ended up with a super sore throat, high fever… and after antibiotics were done—I could not swallow any pills—they would get stuck in the back of my throat…  for a year I could not sing, I could hardly talk..and finally after months of seeing an ENT I had to have surgery to remove the damaged lingual tonsils. I felt invaded by this doctor..he took my voice… he robbed me of a part of me…. but I never ever gave up. I wept many nights in the darkness of the night..all alone and trying to figure out how and why this doctor stole a part of me…..

Every night I would pray for the ability to sing again, and if I ever was given that blessing- I promised I would sing in church . It took about another 6 months after the surgery, but slowly my throat healed, and I was able to work on singing. I remember feeling so lost without music .. it was in me but I had no way to get it out.

This experience taught me though to appreciate everything I have..and never take anything for granted… I can not every explain how totally blessed I felt when each of our kids asked me to sing a song for them in their weddings… to me—that was so special… so touching to be asked..and a miracle I had the ability to do it after that horrible medical experience.

That doctor will have to try to justify his abusive behavior at some time in his life… the hurt he caused is still in a locked box in my mind..but I would not let him win…. he became a major LOSER..I do not ever have to see him again..but he…well he has to live with himself…he has to know he is mean.

My thought for today… believe in yourself..and when you are feeling like “Why me??” turn is around and say “ I am strong.. so bring it on !”  Love to all, Mrs Justa alias Cindy

As the day turns to dark… what goes through your mind?

As the day ends, do you feel blessed to have just come through the day, or regrets for a day that has passed?

On my way in today there was a contest on the radio. This man called, he sounded rather monotone—he had a deep voice, spoke slow and clear. He won the contest and the station has what they refer to as “a shout” , where the contestant can say something to someone or a group of people… people say hi to spouses, or co workers, or kids, or maybe a group they are a part of…. and they offered him a “Shout” …. silence…. the radio personalities asked him if he was still there… and he said yep… than they were kinda pep talking to him for his chance to “shout out”..and he said ..”I have no family… I have no friends…I have no one…. “ The radio guy and gal did not know what to say….it was one of those moments when words do not come….out of the darkness of the awkward silence the man said “I will shout out to everyone trying to make the world a better place.”

I wonder if this person had just recently become all alone in the world..or has it been for a very long time. Did he have a big family..or was he an only child? He did not sound like he had activities outside of the home…. he sounded truly alone. I felt so bad for this person….

And than I thought about many of us…. how many of us would be in the same situation on the bumpy road of life. Those people who live their life with one person, their every move and breath feels at times it is for the other person, and in a blink of an eye—you can be alone. I know a lady who is recently widowed…they had no children…it was them..He had kids from a previous marriage who are all grown up and have places other than here to be.. and I wonder about how she feels as the daylight turns to darkness… She has a strong faith, she believes in God and in the wonders of life beyond here… but she has asked we not ask her too much about how she is..she is trying to heel the pain from the loss….

When my mom became a widow—she had just given birth to her 6th child..so I do not think she had time to feel the darkness the way I think this woman might be.

Life is what we make it… but sometimes I think it becomes overwhelming—exhausting—to make it anything but lonely.

Love to all…

I hope you have at least one somebody in your life… Mrs Justa alias Cindy 

Isn’t it funny how different things make things seem different?                                            Changes the perspective.

                                                                                                Like I was driving to work today, thinking that I felt comfortable in the midsized car I drive—till this big Hummer drove next to me.. made me feel kinda small for the road.

      .So than I am driving a little further feeling small and my whole perspective changed when  a “Smart Car” came barreling down the highway.

Now I felt like I was driving a BIG car.

These little cars are super cute..but I am not thinking I would want to be in them on ice, in a bad wind snow, in deep snow, or in a chain accident.

There is nothing to them !!

AS the day progressed it seemed like big things became little and little things became big.

A case I thought would be very difficult- became quick to get through, while another time a question asked of me took a long time to figure out.

Than tonight… at the gym…. I walk into the locker room to get ready for my work out, and as I am walking in there, I am thinking about how going in and trying to take off a few more pounds… thinking about once I get to wherever I am comfortable at… how neat that will be… and I walk in there—boom…. there are gals in there just coming out of the pool area who were tall. I mean giants… and built like football players… I went from feeling 5’9” tall to feeling like a midget.

It reminds me of times when my dad would go out to cut down the perfect Christmas tree… and outside it looked great.. but when we got home- it was kind of tough getting a 12 foot tree in a 7 foot room!.  Or when you want to help with portion control so you serve food on a small plate. Gives the image of a full plate when it is only half of a bigger plates worth of food.

$5.00 to one person may be like $100.00 to another…

The wind is whipping on the house again… and it has way more power over the world than any of us do…

Everything looked at based on other info… perspective…. . We just have to stay focused… and stay smart… and do not let others bring you down… It is ALL a matter of attitude…..keep a positive attitude…

Love to all, Mrs Justa alias Cindy

Well the winds are still whipping, but they are coming so hard that any snow we got here at the house has blown across the pavement on the main road. The roof is pretty much cleared off, and the driveway and steps are pretty slick- kinda like they were sand polished with all the blowing of snow.

We were lucky though…we did not get the foot to 1 1/2 feet it sounded like we might. I have no idea how much snow came—cuz the wind took it away.

This just might be the last doozy of a storm- heck March in Thursday…

I could not believe all the laundry I had to do.. gee! I did all the throw rugs, the weekly laundry, sheet towels and stuff, and a comforter.

I just heard the dryer go off for the last time.. Phew…

Now I can focus on not listening to the dryer singing it’s little jingle every time it is done. it is kind of a peppy song, like a clown song…

Needless to say..my work out was here…. cleaning, steamed all the linoleum floors, laundry , standing crunches , toe touches and the KETTLE BALL>

Now this little guy may not look harmful- but after doing reps up , down, sideways, over the head, swinging squats..well I am a bit sore.

I kettle balled during Marks nap, and during cooking time for dinner… so I got it in 2 times today… I can not believe how ruthless this contraption is !

Tomorrow is the gym though… need to get some cardio in. The weather should be better – and I am thinking bike, elliptical and treadmill for tomorrow. This week I ended up doing lunch time walks on the days I did not hit the gym…I prefer the gym… I really love going to the gym.

As I was going around the house dusting, cleaning and doing laundry… I came upon this guy..he is perched on the head board of the twin bed Brandon sleeps in when he has been over….it is like this little guy is watching over him while he sleeps. As I looked at the face I thought how nice it would be to have the comfort of that cuddly little face staring at me. It is as if to say everything is okay…

AS I moseyed around I saw another comforting little face… this one is lives in the crib.. Same comforting look though… watching the world to keep things safe as the sleepiness turns into slumber…

It brought me back to my younger days when my mom and or dad ( on the very few days he was not traveling for his job) would come in my room , sit on the side of my bed and tell me a story.  Than as they got up to leave, they always bent over and gave me a hug and kiss, and tucked me in…the comfort of being snug in the bed.. sheets and blankets taut ….a crisp pillow hugging my head and shoulders…. and knowing I was loved….

It saddens me to think there are kids out there without that experience. It comforts me though to also know there are children who will have the same memories as I do…Bedtime is a special time..it is the gateway to sleep… the ending of a day.

I hope you have a good night…. here is a cyber tuck in…

Love to all.. Mrs. Justa alias Cindy

Winter is still around us. It is amazing how much we have gotten off the hook. It is a GOOD winter when you have to start the snow blower just to run it every once in a while instead of to clear away snow. But being we live in the “
lake effect “line… we are about to potentially get hammered…

“By Mike Brookins – Updated 2/24/2012 3:44 PM

Tonight – Windy

Hi 45° | Low 30°

A High wind warning has been issued. Increasing winds overnight with SW to W 20-30 MPH with gusts to 50-60 MPH. Colder air begins to arrive overnight and a spray of snow moves in regionwide. Some heavier lake effect snow squalls developing east of the lake. A large area of 1-3" of snow is likely nearly everywhere with areas north of Oneida Lake 4-8" with isolated 8-12" amounts on the Tug Hill Plateau tonight. Blowing and drifting snow likely by morning. “

 Fortunately I LOVE to shovel snow..so clearing it up is FUN for me….

The winds are whipping, we can hear it beating against the house I want to pretend like it down not bother me, but it does—cuz I really dislike getting dumped on with snow. Makes me want to climb into a bag and wait it out.I just hate the thought of high winds and possible power outages…

But alas—the bag will be the warm bed tonight. We will take down the extra comforter incase the power goes out..and we will prevail.

I am so thankful we do not have trees around our house now.… there is nothing more scary than realizing a branch could have gone through your roof…. The was an ice storm and I can not believe how lucky we were that the rest of the crack in the branch did not let go… the damage it could have done was enormous—but instead- the branch dropped and rested on the house- hanging onto the tree by a thread.

There is a commercial on about going to myrtle Beach… hmmm… do not temp me !…

Where do we sign up!!

There is a woman and her husband who hopped on a train Thursday morning, heading to Florida for a week at her sister and husbands place. Another person  was telling me that as she was growing up, there were people who lived in Florida in her family- so as kids and adolescents- they just had to get to Florida and than lodging was not an issue.

We talk about that sometimes- but for now—we are here… Many people from the north are “snow birds” and head south in the winter and come north for Spring, Summer and Fall. Maybe later in our life that might be an option… but not right now. I do not know if I would want to go as far south as Florida—but maybe on the Carolina coast might be nice.

I will take pictures tomorrow if the snow does hit.. Stay warm out there, remember to be thankful for all you have, see you tomorrow…. Love Mrs Justa alias Cindy

Grandsons come in all shapes and sizes—here is our “grandson” Badger. He is Brandon and Prestons “brother. Well he does not visit often, but this is from when he did…

Here he is with a new rope  toy we got for him when he came to visit….

see… we got rid of all our dog toys after we had to put Indi down. So spoiling Badger with a new toy that he liked was great!

It is one of those STRONG rope toys. He tugs a little with it, throws it around and than wraps it around his legs like a shawl.

Badger is about a 100 pound gentle giant—as long as he knows who you are… but I am sure he would protect his family if there was ever danger.

The traffic observation for this week has changed dramatically— I apologize for all the people who are government workers –I thought you were the crazy aggressive drivers… BUT you went back to work on Tues, the traffic has still been pretty light and reasonable… soooo my new deduction is that it is PARENTS who are so darn aggressive. School is out this week…parents are off… this is terribly depressing—because next Monday—after they have been home all week with their kids—or on a vacation— can you imagine how aggressive they will be than!

At work the time off for 2011-2012 is coming to a quick end. We have to use our days or we lose all but 3 of them. I took tomorrow off. It should be an ok day—home with Mark—I did bring some work home with me—but I can do it in my jammies at home…

That is such a great feature to be able to do some work from home. I think it is going to be more a wave of the future—as companies save so much on upkeep, cubicle space,office furniture, office supplies, personal items, coffee….the list goes on and on—plus if you are sick-you can work and not contaminate the workplace. I am on a fence with it… some people are not disciplined enough to have the work environment- and not every type of work could do it…. but even though I am off— I wanted to help out with work load—so I will share my time off with work from afar.

I hope you are having a peaceful week… Love to all… Mrs Justa alias Cindy

There are people in our lives that can make us laugh. People who have been there when you are low and when you are upbeat.

I feel like I want to take a moment and recognize one of those people. Every once in a while I will write about someone…..Today….is one of those days….

My sister Melanie is 8 years younger than me… (OMG I can not believe she is THAT old though ) Anyhow, we have been through a lot in our lives and she has been there at times of extreme low, and times of adventurous journeys, and helped me pick up pieces when I felt broken.

Way back in July 1985, she greeted me at my moms doorway- as I brought in my than 2 1/2 year old son, and was a lost soul in the place called LIFE. My marriage had split—and I had no job, and a son I wanted to do the very best for. She was there to talk, we sat in front of my moms console stereo and listened to Pure Prairie League and Styx- one night I remember after I had Jeff in bed- we sat drinking a couple generic Wegman’s beers ( I am not kidding—the beer was like 1.99 a 6 pack and white label….)and trying to figure out how to get from there to anywhere …. she can make me laugh when there is darkness all around.

Through the years we’ve  had many many  journeys—some we even got in a car to go on …. to Maine—HA that was a fun one—hee hee—on the way back we wanted to take the ferry across Lake Champlain –we had planned to do that ferry ride before we even started out on our venture…. well we took it in the TOTAL THICK FOG—an hr and 1/2 ferry ride in total whiteness— we were psyched when we saw a tree on a little island… HA… what were we thinking????

—  we went off to  Cincinnati area twice to help out our older sister who desperately needed sisters to support her through some pretty tough things… the times of laughter and adventures are in the rear view mirror of life— and hopefully when life settles down a little bit more—we can share some more special times.

I think it is so important to not get so wrapped up in life- that we lose sight of people and times that have meant a lot to us.

Melanie—if you are out there—this posts for you !!.

Love to all… Mrs Justa alias Cindy

As the sun rose this morning , and as I was getting ready to start my Monday, I was reminded that every single day is a chance to start over.

The golden sun opening the new day, welcoming the challenges that lie ahead, and assuring me through the soft light, that it is a new day.

I was thinking about what the day will bring? What smiles, what challenges, what will today be like.

   Now the sun has set, and as I look back over today- there was a time for a smile or two, and there was lots to do at work. The drive to and from was peaceful, and I left at the time that traffic and jerks come together. Yep—if I am not 15 miles from here by 7:15—I know I will be faced with all the self centered, speeding people driving to work.

To my amazement today—at 7:30 this morning—when all heck breaks lose on the interstate—it was peaceful. It was non stress. It was not crowded. There were no brake lights at 65 mph. And it hit me !!!!— The people who did not have to work because of Presidents Day— they must be the jerks !

And who might that be??? Well it is a Federal Holiday…sooo it impacts all government institutions, banks . That means all federal, state and local government offices are closed. That includes City Hall.There is no postal delivery, except for Express Mail, and post offices are closed. And in most areas the  public libraries are closed.
Most banks and the major financial markets, including the New York Stock Exchange, are closed. So I hate to tell these folks—but at least some of them  are super annoying on the morning commute! Schools are closed for the week… I am thinking it is not the school people who annoy the heck out of me on the way in…. tomorrow will tell.

Tomorrow will be back to normal- I will have to leave here by 7 to avoid the folks who slept in today…and maybe tomorrow I will be blessed again with the comforting golden glow of a day about to begin. Reminding me that it is never to late for a fresh start.

Life… life is good….. I can not complain….I will just avoid those who make me want to complain. Have a good night… Love to all… Mrs Justa alias Cindy

Today a friend of mine was sharing with me her recent experience. It brought me back to similar experiences, and it really sucks.

She works in a place , where a business consultant team was hired to overlook the programs and make recommendations. The recommendation was to lay off almost 20%  of the staff!!!!!!!!!!

Can you imagine…. this type of thing happens everywhere, every week… I personally have been through it twice in my 40 + years of working.

When the time comes- there you are. You and your co-workers dreading when anyone of authority wants to talk to you, for fear you are next.You go to work with a feeling of knots in your stomach, you feel insecure, and uncertain what the future will hold.  Depending on where the employer is, what type of business it is, the lay off can be instant—and it can give you a couple weeks notice. Where I have been—it was instant…same thing where she works.

If you are not a chosen person to go—than you feel guilty about staying— and guilty that you feel relieved you are not being laid off. If you are one getting laid off ( as I was back in 1978 ) depending on how much commitment you gave to your now x-employer—will depend how it effects you. Me- I became my job at the first place it happened. I lived and breathed for it, I loved being there, I would come to work—work extra time—but punch in and out for just regular hours. So in essence- many days I gave them 3 hrs of my own time. I never ever regretted that either.

And than one day—after I had been an employed there for 7+ years— poof…. some genius of an accountant decided that our company ( which was the most profitable in the corporation) would close—and maybe the key people would uproot and move to another state to help the company in the corporation  that was deeply in the red! Well, no one went….. and we were crushed.

I remember my last day there, I went home and listened to broken heart love songs. I could not stop crying, sobbing… a part of me had been taken away from me… it was like my core of myself was ruined, like a very big part of me had died….. …..  I felt lost, no where to go, no idea what I was going to do. There was a small severance package- nothing great-and there was unemployment—but that does not meet the money I was making working. It was ALL I knew how to do. Where I was- we totally closed— so in the end— it was the end for all my co-workers.

The second time—- uggg—we were slowly cut down to nothing. So at first- 15 people laid off- poof…. and I ( like my friend today) was one fortunate to have not lost my job. I could not rejoice over not being picked- why… because I hurt so much for everyone laid off. The people laid off would call me and ask for guidance- they did not understand when their insurance ended, what pay they would get… and I would not be able to help- I had to refer them to HR. But as I spoke to them- I could feel their sense of loss. The people left behind did have an option to join the bigger corporation that had bought us out in a merger. Some went— me I chose to leave and work at an MD office.

The sucky thing is… that when this happens—the people who made the decision—they move on to straighten out another company—they have no personal attachment to where they go— it was a spread sheet wonder—- dollars and cents—without thinking how the remaining people would be able to handle the same work load with many less people.

And THAT is what my friend was saying—- when Monday comes—the work is the same—just  less people there to help get it done. My friend does not believe her job is in jeopardy, which is good for her… but she is feeling the pain of all those she watched go into her bosses office ( which is right next to where my friend sits) and than watch them walk out-looking like they were just hit by a Mack truck.

I think it is safe in saying that most of us go to work because we need work…. I hope those people can find something…..

Love to all… Mrs Justa alais Cindy

I can not believe how silly and foolish the GOP candidates are being. I am not sure who is funding whose attacks against the candidates. It is rather odd that anytime someone other than Romney is in the possible lead—than that person is personally attacked. We have some STRONG candidates, yet this petty bull crap is a total waste of time and money.

My goodness guys… stand tall and let the American people know what you want to do to turn this incredible frightening situation  we are in, and try to get us on track again.

I salute people who put everything aside and try to become president. Especially in this time, with the media so much  on the left- that they hide the problems of today. The attacks , the vendettas, the misdirection, the blah blah blahs…. .

I believe as a united country, if we stop all this momentum before it spins out of control, that we can work to stabilize us. But it will take compromise, determination, and staying away from the money printing and China’s money. We need a president who will wear his BIG BOY pants and be a president , a leader…. and not continually—( all thru the presidency_  be acting like he is still campaigning.

All the petty stuff, does not matter – let’s rally together and let the potential voters of America clearly see what is being proposed by the GOPs. Don’t the GOPs see that No-bama and his cronies are sitting there just watching the GOPS spend money hand over fist- to mud sling.

Focus guys, show why YOU would be a great president….

Because there are a few of you who would !. Make US proud…. there are plenty of people in the country looking for something better….looking for the USA to stand for a united country….

Love to all… be strong. Mrs Justa alias Cindy

Today was a day off. I have a few more days to use before the end of the year, ( our personal time year ends 2-29-2012…) so I took today off . It was Adrianne’s 30th  birthday, and I was hoping the weather would cooperate and we could go out and bring her her gift. The weather was very cooperative 42 degrees and rain so we headed out , to surprise her.

As the kids were growing up, we only got  to spend her actual birthday with her  when we were lucky enough to have the every other weekend fall on her birthday—so this was a special day..

We get out there, and there is another car in her driveway… so we called her from her driveway, and she said—”Let me call you back in a few minutes.” – well all of the sudden she raises her garage door – with the electric opener- and out comes her cleaning lady. We are trying to quietly talk to the lady, and hoping Adrianne does not hear us.

So the lady left and we scooted into her house through the garage- …she was surprised. YES!! I love when a plan comes together. 

We had a nice visit. Mackenzie is a full throttle two year old. She is light enough that she can move like the speed of light.

She and I chased each other around the house some….the house is designed with the stairs going upstairs between the living room and the hall going to the kitchen- so we were looping around through the kitchen, down the hall, thru the living room and dining room and back in the kitchen. I would turn around and meet her face to face… 

She would laugh and do an about face.

We made it for a little while, but than the dog decided to pull on the bottom of my jeans— ( an unfair advantage for Mackenzie!)

                                                                                                                                                                                                  Caleb was all smiles today, he is getting pretty red hair!.

His eye brows are coming in red too. I wonder if it will darken to a reddish blond- or if he is going to stay a red head.

He is liking the bouncy toys that he can sit in, but only for a little while. He likes to look around, and be held.

I got the honor of standing and swaying him to sleep- that is so cool when all the sudden you feel their head lean on your shoulder and their breathing gets relaxed, and you know they were comfortable enough to snooze.

We got back here and I went off to the gym. I had a pretty good workout- but I think I left part of my back there!. I did the circuit and than  30 minutes on the treadmill on an incline- at 3.3 mph. I am not sure which aggravated my back.- but I am betting the circuit.
Tomorrow was a day off too, but I canceled it to go in tomorrow and maybe I will take a day next week. One of the nurses is leaving tomorrow, I want to go in and say good bye to her.

So today is winding down, and tomorrow I am planning on going in early. Than before I know it, the weekend will be here. Have a good Friday…. and hopefully I will be back tomorrow… Love and best wishes…. Cindy alias Mrs Justa.

Okay, I have to ask, what are we doing??

I saw this on bluewiremedia.com-

I had to laugh as I read it, Mark and I were just talking about the stuff people put on facebook.

It is like people need to feel needed and popular, so they post really non essential-waste of internet space stuff.

Kinda of like blogging in a way- but I think it is much less informative.

Like “ having dinner” or “Have a headache” or “I love my husband” or “ eating an apple”  or how about this one “going to bed”

It is rather humorous in a sad sort of way- people try to have a lot of friends… I mean A LOT!!! Maybe over 600 friends. I am sure you have over 600 friends!. I hope you do not feel the need to buy them all a gift for their birthday. I hope they do not all need a favor at once. I hope they do not all want to come over for a cup of coffee at the same time!

It is always so amazing that people think others do not know they are texting during their work, driving, while trying to talk to someone face to face…..

Working in a cubicle environment, as we walk from one area to another- there will be who I refer to in my mind….. the  “sneaky texter”  They will have no hands on their key board, they are turned with their back to the opening of the cubicle, and act like they have a nervous twitch every time someone walks buy them- hands in their lap, hunched over, head snapping back and forth and from a certain angle you see their fingers typing on a very small keyboard of their device. And they look really guilty… Kind of the same look as when a guy decides he has to pee , and is standing off the road- peeing away from traffic, but looking over his shoulder looking guilty- wondering if anyone is seeing them- or knowing what they are doing…

I just shake my head and think about how foolish they are, and inside am kinda smirking because they look so foolish.

What would we do without social media? I do not tweet- I rarely comment on facebook, I do blog…. but not while I am working…— and I wonder— where would people be without facebook? Who would they tell they are hungry? Maybe they would pick up a book- or go for a walk, or talk to their real live friends, or to their spouses…. I know it is a little strange to think about that phenomenon— and I hate to break it to people— but facebook is taking life out of the living….

I am off to enjoy some time with life…. with  Mark… and oh yeah— “I am tired..going to bed.” LMAO>.. Love to all, Mrs Justa..alias Cindy

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Okay, before I go into my little bit of life tonight- I gotta tell you about this sign I saw on the way home. Out on this rather rural part of State Rte 48 is a topless bar. I drive by it quite frequently- it is really in the middle of no where, and I am always wondering how they stay in business. They never advertise any type of foods there, and it is the busiest on Thurs and Fri nites ( pay days ) so I figure on the way home from work, before the men go home to their “ordinary life”, they stop and drop a percentage of their paychecks there… Well. they have a new lit sign in the parking lot. “Take out available”. I find that rather weird.. I wonder what is “take out “ at the topless bar? HA maybe I do not want to know…

Tonight was a super fun evening with Brandon and Preston. Preston who is coming close to turning two, has been having some teeth coming in, and well tonight he was being a little impatient with life. At times he was having fun, but other times, it just seemed like he was not comfortable and because of that was rather non cuddly- would get close to Mark and I but kept a short distance too. ( That was until we had small kid size bags of gummy fruit snacks… Than I was a pretty cool grandma to be around) He brought a book to Mark, but would not sit on Marks lap- instead he sat on the leg part of the recliner and looked at the book , nestled safely between Mark’s calves and ankles- but no cuddling. He did go to bed pretty well, I think he was just not feeling 100 % tonight.

Brandon was super cuddly, and he loves to “play games”. He has some really neat learning games, and we spent over an hr playing one where he had to find a picture in a 2nd row that matched or went with a picture in the top row. The top row picture had different color frames around them, and when he found the match, he had to take a plastic frame- the same color as the top picture, and place it around the correct one in the second row. He knows his colors- and clearly knew the red, blue, yellow, red, orange and  green frames. He did quite well. He was kneeling on a dining room chair while we were playing this, and all of the sudden he stood up and said he had to move- “let’s sit on the floor, my knees are getting sore.” HA HA–  he was so cute rubbing his little knees…

Preston did his hug and kiss goodnight as the evening turned into nighttime- and called out “mom and daddy” a few times..than drifted off to sleep. Brandon is getting kind of creative with bedtime, he hugs and says “I love you so so very much “ than he remembers there is something he forgot – or needs… and after about 3-4 times- he too is settled for the night.

It was fun, I am kind of wired from the excitement of the evening—but will try to shut it down. Tomorrow is a work day, and well I need to be on top of my game… So I am off… Thanks for stopping by, and see you soon !. Love to all, Mrs Justa alias Cindy.

There is  quote ( the author is “anonymous” )

“A smile costs nothing, but creates much. It enriches those who receive it without impoverishing those who give it. It happens in a flash and the memory of it sometimes lasts forever. None are so rich they can get along without it and none so poor ,but both are richer because of it’s benefits. It creates happiness in the home, it fosters goodwill in a business and is the countersign of friends.It is the rest for the weary, daylight to the discouraged, sunshine to the sad and nature’s best antidote for trouble. Yet it cannot be bought, borrowed or stolen, for it is something that is no earthly good to anybody until it is given away. Nobody needs a smile so much as those who have non left to give.”

This is so true, I remember my mom saying to never stop smiling, it is one the the most healthy contagious things you can do.

My whole life has been filled with smiley face doodles, or using “” on my notes, my first car  I made stencils out of newspaper of smiley faces and painted them on the trunk and hood- and than wrote in the doors “The Smiling Limousine” , I smile at people when they pass me in the hall… I just smile a lot.. my mom told me to…and I have !

Now being a smile can get me in trouble too… if I have ever been in an uncomfortable situation, or if I am really scared— I immediately go into a smile that feels like it is hooked to my eye brows. When someone is trying to be really annoyed with me… I have to try really really hard not to smile at them— cuz that only increases their annoyed mood. And if someone starts crying in front of me and it makes me uncomfortable—poof—the ol’ sides of my lips bounce up and I am there smiling as they are crying… they think I am laughing at them—but I am trying to let them know I care— but my face is not cooperating.

I remember once a very long time ago, I was at a home where the man was really mad about something— he was whacking his fist down really hard on the counter—hitting the walls… he looked at me—and you guessed it— I am standing there-my knees knocking, I feel like I could pee my pants from fear—and my face is smiling… He said something like—“Wipe that smile of your face or I will wipe it off for you..” Me—well I had to leave the place— cuz the smile was not going anywhere…

All in all though—a smile is a good thing… just for some reason my brain has got smile locked in… and no matter if I am happy, scared, or around someone who is really mad— you can count on me to have a smile that I can not stop. I pull on my face, try to hide under my shirt collar… can not get it to go away…

So as I sign off— I wish you many smiles…. Love to all, Mrs Justa—alias Cindy

The government is in our affairs—in places it has no business being…

Now the government is proposing that anyone who wants contraception- should receive it FREE of charge from their insurance company. Why.. cuz NO_BAMA said so.

My goodness people—how much more of this bull crap are we going to be subjected to?

And where –where is this cost going to come from—OH wise one?

And do share— does the government than chose which type of contraception they are including—or is it any type? And than—what if it is contraindicated for a person? Or what if they have complications because of this “free service”?

And does this new rule state the premiums are not going to be affected by this ruling? Or did you think that the insurance company can print money—like you have for the past 3 years—in the TRILLIONS??

Or was that not thought of.. So any woman can get it for free—but everyone will be paying higher premiums because of this?

I am amazed at the way that some people just go along with all the rules. Like buoys in the water—bobbing up and down- getting whacked by waves— la la –can’t do nothing but bob…

Look at this… from before its news..

“Republican Congressman Ron Paul from Texas, states on his website:

"Buried deep within the over 1,000 pages of the massive US Health Care Bill (PDF) in a “non-discussed” section titled: Subtitle C-11 Sec. 2521— National Medical Device Registry, and which states its purpose as…….. He quotes that part of the law and then goes on to say: "In “real world speak”, according to this report, this new law, when fully implemented, provides the framework for making the United States the first Nation in the World to require each and every one of its citizens to have implanted in them a radio-frequency identification microchip for the purpose of controlling who is, or isn’t, allowed medical care in their country".

I just think every single one of us, need to not be so darn wimpy— we are going to have an election this year— are you okay with  the government getting into your beliefs, your pockets, and now under your skin??

We are NOT better than we were 3 years, ago… we can look in history of multiple times when people have gotten in trouble for bringing religion into schools- in public places—students suspended—ten commandments forced to be removed… yet the government can intrude peoples religious beliefs and mandate something many feel is morally wrong.

Please just look at ALL the facts— and let’s all work together to make a change that will attempt to help our incredibly fantastic country.

I do love the USA- and am proud to be an American—but I am disappointed in the mandates- and the “Healthcare Reform” that was sneakily crammed down the throats of America—we need to STOP and THINK…and not just let things HAPPEN>

Love to all, Mrs Justa… alias Cindy… ( climbing off the podium)

Wish we lived closer- it would be kind of nice to be walking around Bar Harbor Maine this weekend. I know it is going to be bitterly cold-but I bet it is neat up there.

Today is my Friday- officially off for 3 days. The last few days have been pretty intense with working- so I think it will feel good to not go in Friday. I can not believe how fast the days fly by. I think I was at my desk at 6:30 and I looked at a clock-it was 11:30.. like poof— where the heck did 5 hrs go.. at first I thought maybe someone turned the clock ahead as a joke- I knew I had been diligently working on a pretty intense project—but golly—5 hrs !. I was reminded though, as I tried to walk, that maybe I had been in that one position for 5 hrs!!!

So than I started thinking about life… dang…I look at this photo-1984 and I can still feel the way I felt watching him as he took off down the hill in the grass. I was laughing as I took the photo- his little legs were trying to keep up with the gravity pull of going down hill. He was having a ball… he amazingly did not fall—I caught up to the little guy and brought him back up to where we were playing—but it seems like just yesterday.

I was thinking on my way home about how it seems to be impossible to hold onto a day. One second I am dragging my butt out of bed-and before I know it I am winding down, sharing a thought or two with you, checking out face book..and than off to sleep.

Tomorrow will fly by… I want to get up reasonably early- hit the gym, do the taxes, laundry, clean, grocery shop, pay bills, file receipts… and YIPEE—Courtney is coming over tomorrow night—she has not been here for –oh—FOREVER !!! We are looking forward to her company !.

I will try to slip in a note or two on the taxes sage—after it is over.. We have Turbo tax- it worked pretty well last year—we really do not have a lot of complicated stuff—so it was fine.. Last year our accountant died during tax time—so we put on our big girl and boy panties and decided to go for the Turbo tax. I was nervous I would screw up the program… but they made it for dummies… and it walked us right through it.

So off to get a cup of warm something.. and enjoy LIVE 2 of my favorite shows. I love Grey’s Anatomy and Private Practice… Love to all, Mrs Justa alias Cindy

So today my mind is opening up cubbies holes of long ago. It was triggered by, yes, another hour of driving back and forth to work..and a thought got in my mind—and it stuck there.

As this thought stuck in my mind- the tangled  cob webs started to sway…, and those tightly closed doors of yesteryear started to creak open. Hmm. what made me think of the thought—why nothing short of the radio . There was a commercial—and in it the guy was talking about financial planning—and he said “Have you ever been lost?” …I can not tell you the rest of the commercial—because I got stuck in the question.

Have I ever been lost??? Well yeah … quite a few times in my life. Than add have you ever felt lost??Well I could write for years on that.

So as the doors open, and feelings of being lost come to life again—I remember that scared feeling, that feeling of anxiety, of feeling like I wanted to just click my heels and go back to where I was not lost. Being lost is scary to me… it is a feeling of weakness, a feeling of despair.A feeling like I just want to crawl under a cover and hide—hoping for someone to find me. 

I remember in the early years of my life getting lost at a store. One moment my mom was there, and the next..she disappeared—poof..gone. I remember being short enough that all I could see was people’s feet and butts.. I remember looking straight up and faces.. ( and looking at faces from the floor upwards—well they look a little weird. The chin  is prominent-followed by some curves and than 2 dark little holes called nostrils. Everyone looked weird, and I remember calling out “mom!!!!’ I remember my legs feeling shaky, and feeling embarrassed as I started to cry. I am calling for my mom, and these people around me are now looking down at me from way above.

Finally someone came and told me they worked in the store, and took my hand and they called for my mom over the intercom, when I saw her—it was like when Miss Piggy and Kermit the frog saw each other and ran  towards one another in slow motion… …( Thanks google clip art  and cineplex . com for this image !!)

Ugg.. feeling lost is a horrible feeling. We can feel lost in life, lost in public, lost in misfortune… this could go on for some time in days to come.

Somehow we need a proverbial life compass to keep us on track… and if I see you..lost… I will help you find the path….Just like that woman in the store did for me.

Love to all, Mrs Justa alias Cindy

I heard a lyric in a song the other morning as I was getting ready for work, and it was one of those times I stopped and had to write it down…I did not want to have it lost in the mass of information I so kindly refer to as my memory. ( And let me tell you—things DO get lost in there!!)

It was “You can’t put a price on piece of mind”.

Now is that not an awesome lyric. It seems we are trying to buy our peace of mind.

New cars; better jobs; new clothes, different hair style, (or hair color ); different pathways through life—and I bet no one can really say they finally bought peace of mind—that they found it on a shelf in a super secret store—and it cost a lot—but it sure feels great.

IF you think winning the lottery will give you peace of mind- I think you better think again. Talk about increasing hassles- and some will not like you because you won and they are envious—others will feel they are entitled to you donating money to them because they want or need it… can you imagine all the “friends” you found out like you who have not had a darn thing to do with you for years and years.

Peace of mind..looking at the definition…from freedictionary.com

“1. peace of mind – the absence of mental stress or anxiety

ataraxis, peacefulness, repose, serenity, peace, heartsease

quietude, quietness, tranquillity, tranquility – a state of peace and quiet”

The closest I think I get to peace of mind is when I just am.                                                    There are many places it is NOT.                                                                                                        It  is not in a store, not standing in line to get into an event, not driving down the expressway with the entitlement crowd, not in crowds of people.

Peace of mind IS: ( for me!)    being a mom ( that was so special as I lived each year as a mom of a  baby to grown into  adulthood!); being around our grandchildren: having them  sit on my lap as we cuddle or read a book;

watching them sleep;

having them hug my neck and say “I wuv you gamma “ :

It is spending time with someone who truly loves you: it is having time for friends;  it is  found sitting around a camp fire;      camping ( after we are set up LOL) :  reading a book; soaking in a hot bath: watching sunsets and sunrises:

being at the ocean; watching the world from the top of a mountain;  sitting in church; singing in church; cleaning; doing laundry; shoveling snow; mowing grass; working out with the MP3 tunes going in my head; just sipping on a cup of coffee and watching the world around us go by from our bench.”

There are so many ways to taste peace of mind—but put your wallet away, do not look on line for it over night shipped, not in stores , not at the lottery ticket booth….

I hope you have places you can be- where you can sample peace of mind.

Love to all.. enjoy tranquility… Mrs Justa alias CIndy

Hi everyone… boy I am glad today is through and the weekend is here. I am stopping for a moment to share some thoughts, and Than I am going to try to tackle some work I brought home.

This past week was super busy, and —it was what I kindly refer to as a “full moon syndrome week”. I mean holy cow ! Calls were weird at times, people’s questions were unusual, life this week just seemed a little crazy. I brought home about 80 questions to work on, and I should have them done before Sun evening.

Hopefully Jeff and Amanda and the kids will be out on Sunday evening, that would be a nice way to end a rather busy weekend—I am thinking about various menus types.. we will come up with something fun.

Today I was outside..and I kid you not…I ran across not one..not two but 3 women who all did the same irritating thing. Each of them, they are outside, and let out a chest hurting sounding deep productive cough… sounded like they were hacking up their feet through their mouths,,, not even attempting to turn away, or cover their mouths… and than ( this is how I knew the coughs were productive… ) YUCK!! Need I say more???

I could not believe it,,, by the time the 3rd lady came towards me.. well I wished I had a can of Lysol… I would have sprayed it right at her and the whatever gunk she was coughing…

Ok ..so here I am … visualizing the home life for each of these 3 people. They had nothing to do with one another—it was in 3 different areas… what the heck do they do in their house? They must be a real special companion to share a meal with… I wonder if they have spittoons in their living rooms? Dang—it was gross..

(Image from shutter stock)

People need to realize how easy germs spread, and also maybe others do not want their germs. And how can they be so darned inconsiderate as to not even consider the next person who steps on their coughed up lung lining? NOW DO YOU SEE WHY I LIKE SHOES OFF before people go walking through the house!

Yucko.. I am totally grossed out… good way to change gears and get into some working by the midnight oils. Love to all… spread joy not germs… (hey that is kinda catchy… maybe it would make a good bumper sticker..!) Mrs. Justa alias Cindy.

Okay, as you know –or maybe you do not… this aging stuff can be kind of tough to focus on. I do not feel elderly” nope..

I feel middle age, thankful I am not 20, and glad I am not 90. Somewhere in between is okay.

This cartoon character is where I feel I will be someday not today.

So I gotta tell ya, on the radio tonight on my way to the gym,I am humming and feeling great and THAN the radio talk guy was talking about a terrible event last night when a 56 year old woman was a victim of a home invasion.

He was talking about the 56 year old age of this woman to great length… he said” An elderly woman…”than he stopped and said “ Is 56 elderly? I think it might be..” he went on to say she was a woman on the cusp of being elderly. Well the more he said, the less I felt like driving to the gym… I was wondering if maybe I should be driving to “Ted” the mortician and making arrangements.

But I fought the elderly talk.. yep let it fly by me—THAN he said  “This poor granny was a victim..” Gee whiz… I am thinking   “I AM A GRANNY COME TO THINK OF IT !”

But this granny still got to the gym ( I have not gone directly to the gym after work for a few months…. ) so this was a pleasant change . See usually I come home.. well after I am home—and we have had dinner—and I start to unwind from the events of the day.. Mark and start to chat- go onto the computer—it is easier to get into my sweats or jammies… and not my gym stuff.

Tonight it was cool.. ( I mean temperature cool) in the gym. Like NO HEAT cool… I thought at first I was gonna freeze- but a couple Moody Blues tunes on my MP3 and it got pretty darn warm in that very cool gym.

I am about to exit- stage left— and watch my favorite shows tonight. They have not been new for 2 weeks.. so this is nice. I will take my rather sore body, my rather sore ELDERLY body… or should I say…. MY DECREPED ELDERLY body into the living room , have a nice cup of tea… ( GOSH Isn’t that what elderly people do- have tea at night !!?? YIKES maybe I am this cartoon figure in this post !!) – yes this ELDERLY WORN OUT GRANNY is signing off… (Clip art from People Clip Art» elderly_lady6.gif)

Love to all, Mrs Justa.. alias Old Lady. HA!