January 2011

So is this the “Boy Who Cried Wolf” or the worse storm coming (?),  as the weather people are warning us to hang onto our hats, get ready for snow, blowing snow, near to blizzard conditions, 18 inches or more of snow. And it is not just here, man the Chicago papers have it plastered in them, blizzard warnings – St Louis states their governor has already called a State of Emergency. Kinda gives me the shakes, anxious a bit, over what we do not know. Here there is a winter storm warning- heck this was posted before the storm left Texas ! So quickly I go through my mind what I need to do…

First and foremost I canceled my 9:30 AM Weds eye appnt. They can not say I did not give them enough warning. This guy is a good doctor—he knows retinas-but let me just say- I am not upset canceling that appointment. He has this reclining chair he has you sit in and puts on this light… ( more like a beacon !!) – looks like a miners light, but I think this thing could light up the entire mine. So he leans you back, and than he has what I refer to as the “EYEBALL CLAW”F2.large[1]  …it is a metal feeling gripper- and it’s purpose to the best of my assumption is to hold the eye in one spot. Now it does not touch the eye—at least as long as you stay REALLY still, but it applies incredible pressure to the area surrounding the eye. ( That hurts !!) I always hope I do not sneeze while he is getting ready to look in through my eye to see the retina. I would see my eye ball bong out… oh that would be bad… Dang, that light is so bright  I think he can see in my brain with that sucker!. So needless to say… a couple weeks before I have to go through that “wonderful” experience-well that is okay by me.

So this storm, I really hope it is not as  bad as it is being predicted. We have had our share of snow in Northeast USA. Ha- I remember one time the weather guys said to close businesses early, get your employees home, last thing we need is everyone leaving the city at the same time when the dreaded STORM hits. So schools sent the kids home by noon, employees were frantically leaving for home, stop at the store, buying milk, bread, food for a month….and we did not get a flake !. I kid you not. It was sunny all afternoon. Think that will happen now…. ( doubt it ! )..BUT the good thing- I will fight this storm with clean teeth ! Yep I get my choppers cleaned at 8 tomorrow.

Hmm…we will have to see what happens…. maybe Mark can get milk tomorrow- in case we get snowed in for days…. Love to all, stay safe- if this storm does what is predicted- 20 states will be feeling the pain… Love Cindy Alias Mrs Justa…


Mark said something to me the other day on my way off to work. He made a comment about how I am traveling south to go to work and others are traveling north to go to work. AS I thought about that, it is weird. Why do we work away from where we live? Why is where we live not good enough for us, but is good enough for others to come to ? There are threats of increase in gasoline prices. That has got to be a scary thought to many of the people in this country of ours… in the world really.

I spend at least $50.00 a week for gas right now. And that is as long as we do not go anywhere extra. Plus Marks car needs fuel, not as much as mine. But still. People who live in the major city areas can be in traffic for hours to get to and from work.I can not even imagine the cost for fuel for them. All this fuel, to get away from where we live, to go somewhere else, and than come back again.

What the heck would we all do if all of the sudden there was limited fuel. Like in the 70s when you could only get fuel on an even or odd day, depending on what the last number of your license plate was. If you needed fuel on an odd day- and you were even—too bad… so sad. And the lines to wait for fuel were LONG!!

That was when I bought my PINTO and traded in the 1964 grand prix gas/oil hog. ( That sucker got 10-15  mpg!!) Worse than a truck. It had issues !! It had no rear springs, the guy who sold it to me crammed old tires in the rear area where the springs were supposed to be. ( I did not find that out until it needed to get lifted up in the repair shop.) I was wondering why my teeth were chipping over every bump… it literally bounced and swayed down the road…And when you would step on the gas to go from stop to a moving position , this car would leave  a HUGE cloud of black smoke so bad that the bugs were gone and no one tailgated me. Needless to say the gas shortage/ rationing  was a good inspiration for me to make a change.

It was so funny though, when I bought the Pinto my salesman had come out in the parking lot an eyed the grand prix. The crisp clean white leather interior impressed him. He gave it a quick look and than offered me 500.00 on a trade.. I did not squawk… The day for me to exchange the grand prix for the Pinto came. The salesman surprised me—as I thought I was parking the grand prix and leaving quickly… but he  said he had to  drive the grand prix about 3 miles down the road to their used car lot, he asked if  I could follow in my new car, give him a ride back. My heart went into my stomach… . Well I can not being to explain how funny the look on the salesman’s face was when he started the car, gave it a little gas  and this cloud of black smoke almost engulfed the entire dealership parking lot. When we got to the used car lot, he just looked at me, and said –“ Ah you never mentioned it burned a little oil…” My response was…. “You never asked me!” Heck I bet I could still find remnants from the black smoke if I looked hard enough. And that was 1971 !.

Talking about traveling, this weekend I went to work both days. There is a report I am expected to hand in by days end tomorrow, and I was waiting for the specifics of what is needed in the report. Tomorrow I am really ties up with a couple meetings and the way the days have been going these past few weeks, there are many questions to work on with others. So I figured, I would guess the best I could on what needed to be on this report, and than I had to design it, and than I had to look for the cases that applied for this report. The frustrating thing was my computer at work would not come on !!! So I found another cubicle where the computer did come on, I used that yesterday. Today,,, not so much.. I think on Sundays the system shuts down for weekly maintenance—so I had to hand write everything I need to get on the report, and I will try to get on from home tonight. GRRRR… computers are great when they work… So that was an extra 140 miles of driving this weekend. It becomes the norm for me, for people who live in the urban area and travel maybe 5,000 miles a yr… well I guess the drive to work would be like a day trip to them.

So I am off, we have a movie to watch from Netflix, and I have 25 cases to enter on the report—if I can get on.

Consolidate your driving… gas prices are climbing!!! Love to all, Mrs Justa..alias Cindy

As I hear the news in the background I am thinking about how fortunate we are , at least right now. Can you imagine being in a country, where all of the sudden all cell phones and internet is shut off. Ka-putz- gone. It is shut off in the name of security, or in the name of control.

For those who have the need for the internet to work, well you would be screwed. For the medical world, what would happen to the electronic records? Would they be affected?

And how about those with cell phones as their only form of communication? It is happening, across the ocean in a country far away from the US, but I always have in the back of my mind that we are not asbestos from the evils that burn in the world. With all this going through my brain, I wonder about how terrifying it would be to live there.

I knew a man once who worked for GE- and he was offered a job in Egypt. He took it because the $$ was tax free and very high pay. I have no idea if he is still there, I only knew him in passing. He was a neighbor in the park we used to live in. But what if he is there now? I would assume he communicates with his family in the states that he left to provide very well for them. How lost one would feel.

There was a staggering statistic  of 16.3 million people in that country are living below poverty levels. Now add the lack of education, and now try to figure out how they feel in the uproar in the country. I feel fortunate to have a furnace keeping the house comfortable, clothes on my back, food in the cupboards, a freezer and fridge, water to clean with, a car to drive, and a basically safe country to live in. But I am not different than the people in the unrest—I have 2 hands, 2 feet, a heart, eyes, nose, ears. They probably love a hug, just like any one else. We are all the same really… but situations in our lives have made us look at things differently.

I feel bad for them, I feel bad for the children, but it does not stop in Egypt. I feel horrible for all those suffering throughout the world. I do believe there is plenty of food and money in this world to go around, but some believe they are better than others.

My prayers go out to all… Mrs Justa alias Cindy ( IMAGES FROM GOOGLE IMAGES)

In life as we go through the years of our life, we can not help but go through times when it feels like we have fallen. My buddy Confucius said once many many years ago “ Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.”
I always liked this quote because I personally have fallen more than I care to imagine.

And I gotta tell ya, I think it is really hard to get back up again. For me the rise is slow usually, it is accompanied by apprehension. Because I personally have found the my “falls” in life have all been life changing events. I am sure you can relate.

Life is full of slips, when we can catch ourselves before it turns into a fall. But sometimes ( for me more often than not) the proverbial carpet was ripped out from under me, so I had no warning I was aware of.. just boom, splat, and dang that hurt.

The loss of a place of employment, a major kick in the butt, carpet puller outer,  if you ask me. See when I work, I give it my all and than some. I always have. So in my past, when my employer decided for whatever reason to close or merge and all of the sudden the place I had given everything I had to was now saying adios – well it took  me and threw  me on the ground, stomped on me and than tied the sock top around my head. It is hard to get back up after that happens. For me,I felt like I lost a part of me. I think about all the unemployed and what they must be feeling. I remember the couple of times I have been looking for a job because my place quit on me.  But eventually , after some poor me moments, some what the heck will I do moments, some yanking the sock down from around my head moments, I found small paths to take, each one led me somewhere else. I felt fortunate to find work each time.

The loss of a friend, not necessarily by death, maybe because of something that happened, maybe because one of you changed, maybe because of one moving away. Maybe because the peers did not like me and ended up convincing my ”  friend “ I was not worthy of their friendship. That is a double kick, like being pushed down so far you are in the toe of the sock…. because one part is feeling the loss and another part is feeling like a fool for believing this person was ever a friend. For  friend would not do that.

The loss of a parent, that is a fall in life that for me took a very very long time to stand back up from. My understanding death ( to what ever level one can understand death), did not help the gut wrenching feeling the moment you hear they have died. It brings on such emotions, emotions I could not stop. It was like the fall knocked me down so hard that my head was not just  covered with my sock top, nope this fall made a hole in the ground.. a deep hole….. . It was dark, frightening, lonely.

How about the loss of a marriage. Yeah that is a big one. At least for me it was huge. See not always do both parties agree the marriage is not meant to be. So the one who is hit by this proverbial brick, well it catches you just right and you fall… bad! Yeah that was a number of months of brushing off my wounds, and trying to get those darn sock tops down enough to see anything in the light again.

So personally I must be filed with “greatest glory” because somehow, somewhere I have picked myself up  by the sock tops, and somehow found a way to move one foot in front of the other. These times of falling down, I guess can be looked at as opportunities to get up and be filled with more greatest glory.

It is weird though, as I was walking in tonight, I was thinking about falls, literal falls.. there was a slight coating of ice, and I try like heck to avoid an encounter with my butt and the ground… (  just a personal goal I have !)well that got me thinking about the “falls” of life’s journey we each go through.People December 2010 074 I know from work, people I know from blogging, people I have run across from facebook…some are in the fall, some have pulled the sock top down, some are sitting there trying to figure out how to get up….all these people came to me as I looked at the ice. And for a moment I sent a prayer for them. For, as I age, I  feel the remnants of falls from the past, and I know there are more falls in the future, and for all those people in different phases of a fall.. here is hope each person can find the light.

So my wish is that if you are in a dark moment, try to pry the sock top down, look for a glimmer of light, even if it is far away.

Be careful out there…. learn from your let downs… cherish your recoveries.                 Love Mrs Justa alias Cindy

One of my favorite times of day, is when I nestle in my bed, snuggle in just right, and drift off into some setting, some adventure, some event. This morning I did not want to wake up. Not because I did not want to face the day, not because I do not like being awake… no .. because I was in a dream that I did not want to leave.   It is weird. I can not tell you how often that happens. Mark always asks me why I can’t just get up and stay up when the alarm bellows into my subconscious- but it is not that I can not get up… it is because I quickly reset the alarm for another 15 minutes, eyes squinting so as  to not let the day in yet…  and pop back in bed real quick to return to the place I was at in my psyche.

There was a quote once that I thought was deep….

“The best way to make your dreams come true is to wake up.
Paul Valery “

But for me, the dreams I get wrapped up in do not come true when I awaken. And I am a really strange bird. Let’s say I am in the midst of an awesome or involved dream and either myself or the dog have to relieve ourselves, somehow if I keep my eyes almost shut, and walk slow, I can stay in a sorta half trance, I climb back into bed and return to the dream.

Sometimes the dreams are not great- but I want to see how they end. Sometimes they are creepy… like one a few months ago I dreamt I had a stroke and it paralyzed my left side, I had to go back to sleep to see if I regained my strength. After that one , the first place I went was my dresser and I wrote down quickly what I remembered.

Sometimes they have to do with just stuff, it is like I dive into a short novel when I go to sleep. Sometimes it is a place I can go to talk with my parents, who died years ago. Those are comforting type dreams, because in the dreams I feel them, I see them, I can touch them. Even pets that have passed come alive in my dreams. It is a way to bring back people and animals that have gone to their reward.

I remember when I was pregnant for Jeff, I actually dreamt in the 7th month that I was going to have a baby boy. I dreamt him with blond hair and blue eyes… and he came to be what I had dreamt.

Not every night leads to a dream in the morning that I want to stay in, but I would have to say, enough mornings are like that. I never really remember the dreams, but as I am leaving them for consciousness  I hunger for them to stay. I should keep a note pad next to the bed so I could write them all down.The dreams are like on an etch-a sketch or a magic eraser board- one swoop and they are gone. No trace of them even being. No one to remember them. Gone… I think they are gone but than I wonder —as sometimes in the awake world I have something happen, or I go into a setting that is a de-ja-vu and I can not help but wonder if I was not there in a dream.

What is real? What is imagined? I am so glad for peaceful sleep.

Have a good night, sweet dreams. Love Mrs Justa alias Cindy                                                   (photos from goggle images)

jANUARY 22,2011 022 Helen Keller was quoted as saying

“When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.
and as I read this over and over I am reminded of how easy it is to watch the closed door.
There are a couple of people that I can think of right now who have had some doors close on them. And both of these people for a moment or two, the closed door was straight in their vision, right at their nose tip, unable to see anything around it. But each of these women, they backed up a little, they pulled down their sock tops so they could see, and they turned their sights on the open door.
Realizing that whatever was behind the closed door is in the past and now the open door is shining a future upon them.
I admire people when they can do this. It is so easy to wallow in self hurt as you stare at the closed door, and in the process you miss so much.
It is not easy, God has picked me up a number of times in my life, dusted off my britches and turned me away from what was, and towards what can be. 
So to these folks and to many more, I am proud of you.
You can take a photo of the closed door- but do not stare at it… look to the future.
Helen Keller also said
“Although the world is full of suffering, it is full also of the overcoming of it.
I find both of these quotes amazing , and more amazing that Helen Keller wrote these. A person who by all rights could have wallowed in her misfortunes. But she instead turned her misfortunes into strength. Imagine being deaf and blind.Imagine taking these challenges and accepting them and going far beyond where many who can see and hear have gone..
Peace to all, Love Mrs justa… alias Cindy

image Dang, I do not understand how these guys keep warm… it was close to 20 below zero here and whew it was in the 30 below zero level up in the Watertown/ Saranac Lake regions.

Shiver me timbers!. These little birds have very little coverage- yet they can withstand below zero temps,sitting on snow covered branches, swaying in the breeze….  and us humans- we have snow coats, gloves, ear muffs, scarves and boots and our teeth are chattering.

I heard the Automobile club handled 800 calls today for cars that would not start, people whose cars started and than they locked the doors with the keys in the running car, and for frozen door locks.

Fortunately our cars started, it was funny though, when it is that cold the seat is like concrete. So you go to sit in the car, like you do every day, and your jaw locks down and the teeth bang together.

I remember MANY years ago,image a friend of mine had  Pinto wagon. It was a VERY cold morning – like today. and she decided to check her windshield washer fluid. So she reached for the hood release and all the sudden I heard this weird noise- kinda like dominos falling. It was the face of her grill- it was some sort of plastic, and all these pieces just snapped off.  For years after the car looked like a 5 year old who lost it’s front teeth.

These cars were really neat little cars. I had a day-glow orange one, it was a standard, and I remember when the snow banks were high it literally glowed off them. Oh I loved that car. I got 40 mpg, it handled the road amazingly, it was so comfortable to ride in. I bought it brand new for $1999.00- and I had it for 10 years. Only repairs were regular stuff- heck the clutch even lasted for 100,000 miles. It plowed through snow like nobodies business, there were more than once that the roads were not plowed and I had to get home or to work. When I would get to my destination, I would open the hood and the entire engine area would be white packed snow. So I would have to let it run to dry out the snow. Back than there were distributor caps, and you did not want them to get wet- they would make the car not start. I would put 4 snow tires on it- and I might as well have had a tank… yeah me and my car—we were good buddies. The radio was only AM…but that did not matter- I loved that car… ..the only thing I did not love was the black- look like leather- vinyl seats. Boy in the summer if you had shorts on and sat on them- you actually could feel the fat under your skin start to fry. I used to have to sit slowly down on them, like I was doing the limbo,  I had towels to put down to spare the burns…. HA it was fun…

  That car started no matter the temp or weather conditions too. It is funny… years later- I have another Ford- and it is great too.. There is nothing more comforting in the Northeast than to have a car you feel safe in, that stays in control…

Hope this finds you warm, safe, and find peace in things you have, people you know…. enjoy life… Love Mrs Justa alias Cindy

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