August 2010


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You might wonder… why did I put this picture on the blog. Well I am going to tell you.

If you look really carefully you can see a Ferris wheel way down in the distance. See it?? Way down there?

Well that is the gate to get into the fair for people who park in this lot.

The thing that is amazing to me is that this is the handicap parking lot. Yep, I kid you not. So people with any type of disability- they park here.

By the time you get to the gate, the person with a disabled whatever needs to find a place to sit or go back to the car to rest!.

Now they did offer a tram care for people who park in the disabled parking lot. But to get on it- well it would be like wearing a neon huge sign stating ‘ look at me I am handicapped” . The tram literally had on both sides, banners the length of the tram that said      HANDICAP.

So not only are you dealing with issues that have stopped you from doing everything you once were able to do, but you get to be paraded in a tram around the fair like a displayed animal. Needless to say , many did not take the tram, and needed to stop frequently for rests. Wouldn’t it have been more humane to have a image special type stamp on their hand, or maybe a certain wrist band that the person can show to the driver, so they know the person is in need of a courtesy ride?

We found places for Mark to sit and rest, we sat in the cow barn, in the the coliseum, on benches as soon as someone got up, leaning on a cement ledge, wherever we could.. but I think it should have been more accommodating. 

There is parking right inside the main gate, and behind a building in the front area, but that is reserved for VIP and press. Now would you not think that maybe the people in the press can walk further that the people dealing with handicap issues?

I think in the long run, it might have been more beneficial to park at the furthest lot from the fair and take a chartered bus to the gate at the main entrance.

We say we are “handicap accessible” but what are we really in many situations? Are we really thinking of the needs of the people who need these provisions? I know one school I went to  that had an elevator… it is like a freight elevator, one person can use it at a time, there is a gap in the entrance way where wheel chair wheels get stuck and a walker leg or crutch could slip through, and you have to have a key to use the elevator… how handicap accessible is that really?

Any one of us could need these provisions in a blink of an eye… let’s really put ourselves in the shoes of folks with disabilities, and see if we are really meeting the needs or are we just skimming the surface so we can not be accused of not being handicap accessible?

Peace to all., Love , Mrs justa… alias Cindy

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A simple game, not very expensive, easy to do, and fun for many.

Games in life, what games do we play?

I was looking at a toy ad , and it came to me , that we… as a society… are not providing enough opportunities for our kids to have toys that they need to work to make it do something. I am often amazed at the cost of games that many buy for their children.

I am frustrated by the thought that babies, toddlers, and young childrens toys need to be battery operated and make noises. Music, beeps, flashing lights.

What is this world coming to ,  really? 

What happened to letting the kids make the noises themselves? What happened to letting kids hear the sounds of life? Learning to crank, or twist, or pound a little wooden hammer on a cobblers bench, rolling a ball, pushing a plastic truck that is quiet, no batteries needed. My goodness, what happens if you do not have more batteries, what shall the child do?

I would  think toddlers who would love chase bubbles around. Crayons, paper, finger paints, a box to crawl in, simple life things. What happened to paper dolls and color-forms?  Kaleidoscopes, and scratch paper.

At the fair last week, I can not even begin to estimate how many teens I saw, strolling slowly through the crowds,            I-phones in their hands, texting or instant messaging whomever. What did they see as they strolled in the crowd? Why did they even come to the fair?

I was heating my lunch in the upper cafe at work today, I love doing it up there, because the street is below, and I can people watch. I found myself shaking my head as I watched people supposedly walking down the street with another person, but one or both not talking to the other person, but instead messaging someone else. It reminded me of the sci fi movies that have robots or outer space creatures inhabiting the earth, no emotions, just moving with a mission.. Kinda like a “take me to your leader” type scenario.

We need to step back folks, we need to pay attention to people in our lives. People need people.. ( like the song says. ) “people who need people are the100_4778_edited luckiest people in the world. “ Put away the damn cell phones, droids and lap tops, and start talking to those around you. Read a child a  book, sit and actually play with a child, talk to your friends, talk to your family, take time to pray, this is life… this is our only chance in life…. make memories about you that others will remember. No one is going to remember you texting them…. but I bet someone would remember if they got a card from you, or sat somewhere and talked to you, It means a heck of a lot more to look right in a persons eyes and say “I like being with you” or “I love you” …than to have them receive a text saying “I luv u.”

Let’s all take life back over, and let the electronics not run our lives… Love to all.. Mrs Justa alias. Cindy

As we left Byrne Dairy the other day, picking up our milk in a glass bottle, we started to drift back about 45 years in our lives. Back to the day of home deliveries.

Yes, back in the 60s there were different delivery trucks that would come to our house. Grocery stores were not as frequent, were not as massive, we did not have a second car, so we were blessed with the benefit of living in a time when delivery vans brought essential things to your home.

The milk man would come and leave off glass bottles like this one in an aluminum cooler type box on the front porch if we were not home. Or he would knock and we would just get it from him sometimes, but I think his route was early in the morning sometimes , and if it was too early he used the box. He had juice, butter and eggs too.

There was also a bakery type man that would come and deliver breads and certain types of baked good. He came later in the morning, so I could go out and peek in the back of his van. It smelled like fresh baked breads and hot cross buns.

MMMM, I loved the smell of the van. image Kinda like this one.

And we were talking about how practical this might be in this day and age? I , for one, would love to have fresh milk from the milk store delivered to the door once or twice a week. How neat would that be. It would save me a trip to the dairy store.

This might be a wave of the past, that the future could use.

Things from long ago were simpler , and to those from now probably looks like they were lacking. But we had more family time, we had moms at home with the children, and dads were able to earn enough to support the family . We had one car families, and we went to church on Sundays together. Sunday was a day of family time. Stores closed so EVERYONE could share the wonder of Sunday.

Wonderful World of Disney was on, and the colored peacocks tail opened on NBC, Sunday dinner was like a mini Thanksgiving, we said grace before we ate.. Our napkins were linen and we had a napkin ring with our initials on it, a treat was to have an ice cream sundae, and we were read stories at bedtime, and tucked into our beds.

Just reflecting a little,   now I am off to do stuff for work.. Love to all, Mrs Justa… alias Cindy

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Life is but a circle, events go around and around and we meet things old with things new. This weekend is the first weekend of the 2010 NYS Fair. It is the type of place that some people have to go every year, and others (like me) will go every few years. Much stays the same, just a different year, different people manning the booths, different interests people have, different stars on the free event stage and on the night time – pay mucho bucks_ concert stage.

Oh I know concert tickets are much more pricey at non state fair concerts, but to me shelling out from 45.00 to 104.00 for a ticket for a concert at a State Fair- that just seems really steep.

The free “concert” in chevy court today was Adam Richman for the TV show Man VS Food. I personally thought it was bogus. 100_6099 The volume was distorted on the mike so half the time you could not hear him. He is notorious for taking on these huge food challenges to see if he can eat exorbitant amounts of food. Well today he showed the audience of thousands 100_6100 how to make a BLT and than he was the narrator for a food challenge between local celebrities. He made very off color jokes with sexual innuendoes at a 2PM family show, and it just seemed silly and not the correct venue. He had gone around the state fair the day before and than chose what foods the DJ or celebrity panel would have to eat, being fed by a person on their team, the person eating had to keep their hands behind their backs and let another person shove food in their mouths. I was definitely disappointed in the flavor ( pardon the pun) of this show. We actually watched some, than went into the Center of Progress Building and came back out for the rest.

The temperature was in the 80s, no sign of rain, and I am just estimating there was over 100,000 people there. In the couple of buildings we went into , it was bumping into one another, and fast talking vendors selling their products- which of course are the best product of all at the fair. I do find that amusing, that every one of the people there are selling the best product.

This one dude was demonstrating a blender, so powerful you can put the apple in core and all, strawberries unhulled, pineapples with the core, oranges partially peeled, seeds and all, just throw them all in and it will puree the whole thing- for just 449.00. Yes,… and if that is too much, why you can make monthly payments. ( Duh, that is still 449.00 plus taxes…and lets add some interest) .. No I do not have a new blender on the counter-man  for 449.00 I could replace our blender about 10 times. But people were being temped… another vendor was selling something for ONLY 20.00, that looked like a way oversized back pack on wheels. He was stating it was going “green”, because this pack- well you can cram all your groceries in this one pack, save the earth , no more need for plastic bags. AND being it is on wheels , it will be easy to get around. People were buying these left and right… “$20.00 is cheep” one lady said… Now I ask you, who would want to cram ALL their groceries in one bag? Think about what you buy… ya really gonna stuff it all in a glorified back pack? Eggs, Dairy, veggies, fresh fruits, meats, breads, canned goods, pasta- yep cram it all in there…

100_6112 Food everywhere, and we looked forward to the sausage sandwich, we actually balanced our calories for one, and it was a total disappointment. Probably because we do not eat greasy things anymore, it was just a bummer. We were able to stop and sit at different places, heck one time we sat in the horse arena, not cuz we like horses, just benches. … another time in the cow barn—there were benches available in there too… all in all  we really were not there too long, just long enough to know that maybe in another 5 yrs we will go back again- heck than we can get in for SENIORS discount.

Yep, round and round life goes, we buy foolish things, we are guilty of the I wants, we forget sometimes to reason, and a friendly face, with a convincing sales pitch, will sell just about anything to someone.

Have a great time this weekend, Love to all, Mrs Justa.. alias Cindy

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It seems to me, in this life we live in, we are always reaching out for change. Something to make things better, ways to be quicker, ways to be more techie.

And in all the change we sometimes think we personally have a better way, and so we try ways, ways that others may have tried and failed, repeating the same steps and getting no where.

I kinda felt that on Weds I had stretched out a lot, as I lay in the preparation room prior to the cataract surgery on my L eye. I  let every person know ( I think I even told the cleaning people) that the right eye surgery done at the end of June, seemed a little disturbing. I knew the whole operation, watching things come towards my eye and not being able to do a darn thing about it, so I asked if there was a way possible to make me a little less unaware. Everyone said yes, and that they could tweak the sedating drugs just a little , so I would not see the needles as they approached my eye. They did warn me that I have to be alert enough to move my eye on command, if I was asked to do so. So I agreed, I would be okay with that.

Well somewhere in the sedation I think it may have been tweaked a little too high, because during the intricate part of the surgery, scalpel to the eyeball part, my eyes drifted upwards, as I tried to sleep, and there has been a slight cut on my cornea. Needless to say this recovery has not been as painless as the last, and the vision is not returning quite as quickly to a clear state, it goes from looking thru a rubbermaid bowl clear to a foggy window clear. But it will get there, I am told, just need to have the slight swelling in the eye go down.

Fortunately for me, I can do the bike and elliptical at the gym, and the treadmill if I walk, and I can push the lawn mower, but can not bend to fill it or start it. So that is my day today, that and some computer work.

I am a little disappointed I reached out now, I stretched to the sky and asked to make me a little more sedated, and yet I am very glad I do not have the memories of the first surgery. It is a give and take I guess, it can not be easy to judge the milligrams of meds going thru an IV to know when is just that tweak amount,  but such is life. I will reach now towards the sky again towards the full recovery, and life will go on.

I have a side note, that if anyone who reads this, used to communicate on face book with me… or just read facebook stuff… I am no longer on facebook. I have had –within 5 weeks—to take the computer into the repair shop because of a really nasty virus that consumes the entire computer. So — no more face book, the computer guy believes that is where it is coming from. He said Twitter, Facebook and my space are notorious for viruses such as that one. So bye bye facebook… heck it was a pain anyhow… Love to all, Cindy alias Mrs Justa. 

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Okay this really kinda freaked me out. It has made me think, It has really made me get a message or let’s say many messages from this one dream.

I am not sure where this all came from, but it may have come from my thoughts at church in the morning. As I watched this woman who used to be able to walk, and now she is wheel chair bound. I was wondering if she had regrets, or if she had done all she wanted to do. She no longer has the option to walk for exercise, or burn more calories than her body was used to.. I thought of her a lot yesterday.. than I went off to sleep…..

Come into my mind, the subconscious of my being and travel this journey with me.

I was dreaming about going to work and when I entered the area I worked in, my cubicle was the only one left, all the others had been removed to replace the carpet which had gotten wet, and no one had anywhere to work.

I went to find out from the the the Vice President who oversees the area I work at , if she knew what we were supposed to do to get phones and computers going, That we had 100 calls backed up and no way to answer them . All of the sudden I got a strange tightness in my right side of my mouth. It was kinda feeling like someone tightened up all the muscles, or super glued them. I was massaging the area, but it was not getting any relief. AS I was talking and my mouth was stiffened 100_3082 on the one side, I sensed my speech becoming less clear, sounding like I had marbles in my mouth. So I asked her if we could continue this later, and said I was not feeling well.  I left and went back to my lone cubicle, massaging my face all the way. I tried to talk to Rick, who normally sits near my cubicle, but again the speech was not clear. I looked in the mirror and my right eye was drooping and closed.I decided I had better go seek medical attention and went out, got in my car, headed for the hospital that specializes in cardiac and strokes. It is only 10 minutes from work, I figured I would be okay to get there. As I was driving there, I thought I would call the ER, as I was feeling more and more strange. But I had no cell phone signal. I pulled into a round driveway and got out walking with a sway, to walk for a signal. My car became surrounded by tons of kids leaving a BOCES they were kinda routy, I tried to talk to the Er, but the words would not come out. So I headed towards my car, feeling confused, I could not find it. A lady asked if she could help me, and I tried to say I was looking for my car, but instead it sounded like, ahh,bluaa,ahh” I remember how out of myself I was feeling, wanting to call Mark and letting him know I was going to the hospital. But I could not dial his number. Enclosed by a fog, a fog that was cluttering my mind, I tried to remember what kind of car I had, but that was gone too. In a blink of an eye, I had gone form coherent to incoherent, and the lady who tried help me, she had no idea who I was, and looked at me like I was a drunk, or stoned. I felt helpless , unable to communicate, unable to think.

I woke up, thank God and found my face normal, and my eye open. But it made me think about how quickly we can go from living without problems to suffering a severe disability. It made me want to stay home and work on getting my life in order, like making sure the bills are ready to be paid, and writing down all the things I mean to tell people and maybe selling or giving away things, so no one else is left with that task. Man it was surreal. It was eerie, it was eye-opening, it was so lifelike. Tonight, I am still here, feeling okay, kinda afraid of what slumber will shake out of the bowels of my mind…until later, I love you all, take care, and Sweet Dreams… Love Mrs Justa.. alias Cindy

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The times of our lives. Embedded in our minds and if we were lucky enough to have photos, they are kept available for viewing at any time. Many things on photos might go into an area of forgottenness, if we did not have a photo to take us back there.

Let me take you back to this place and time, and the smile it brings to my face in a time of major change in our lives. scan0002

This was taken in February 1985. Jeff and I lived in an apartment alone, and life was interesting. We had moved into this apartment in Sept 1984, for reasons unknown or unsure of…my marriage had ended and I was here.. trying to put sense in a senseless time, and to start over again. Jeff was my lucky penny… he was my reason for waking each morning. He had a laugh that was contagious, and it made many sad days, days of uncertainty and disbelief better. I knew not what the next day or year would bring, only that I was going to do my best to get to it.

If I am not mistaken this was Valentine’s Day. Jeff would be 3 in another month. The first photo was taken by me hanging the camera off a tack on the wall and setting it on timer. He loved to get held, he loved to get hugged, he loved telling me he loved me…and I loved telling him that too.

The couch was fabric on foam cushions,  the blue pillow to his left I had made a bunch of these and stuffed them with fiber fill and old clothes he had grown out of, I gave them to him to toss, punch, roll around on or lay his head on if he was watching Sesame Street.  The time of sadness was that I was raising him alone, not knowing how life would turn out, but determined that no matter what paths in life I took with him, it would be on safe pathways, and we did not have extra money, heck I was grossing 10,000. a year, our apartment was 12 miles from work and daycare, and I had all utilities I was responsible for too. But through it all, we had each other. Mark did not become a part of our lives for another year almost, but when he came into the picture he accepted Jeff and I accepted Adrianne as part of the relationship. And together, we tried our best to provide a normal life to our children—in a not so normal situation.

I look at these photos, and many more, and I am comforted by the fact, that I know we did okay.

Today I was given the opportunity to see some proofs from Sears, and as I look at them , I am reassured that yes, through all the bumps and potholes along the way, we provided a life that was a positive experience, with a positive ending..

for my little man,,, here he is a grown man and he and his family they make a good family unit. They truly care about each other and want to be good to their kids.

Brandon is becoming a resemblance of his dad years ago, instead of the spitting image of him,

and Preston… well I really think he is going to probably show similarities to his mom more . 

Yes life is full of joys and sadness, and in the sad times, I find comfort in knowing joys will follow. I do not believe we can truly appreciate joys in life, if we have never felt the less joyful times.

So if you are going through a tough time, have faith it will not stay that way, and if your life is full of joy… treasure the moments, enjoy each breath… and Thank God for whatever you have… Love to all, Mrs Justa… alias Cindy

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