cindy


Words are very powerful. Words can inspire a person to go further, to try to find the next step, to get up the next day. Words from a child are so precious, words to a child can help to create thoughts and inspire them to explore, to learn.

Wooriginal_file_homerds in our lives, some flow through and we are unaffected by them. Others though, they are stopped in the heart, the soul, and can create wonderful things to happen.

Words are also very powerful, and once said, we can not take them back. We can not dash over and block them from being heard. My life’s lessons have taught me many things, little things and not so little. One of the messages embedded in my being is that it is so important to think before I speak ( or write).

Once I release a word or series of them, I can not retrieve them. And so it is also true that once words are said to another, that other person has them, and it is they who receive them and how they perceive the words are meant.

So as today begins, I am focusing on the words from me, and remembering that a word can be as soft as a fluffy pillow, or sharper than the sharpest knife, only owned by me until I release them. It is a lesson in life I truly believe some people have discarded, or ignored, and others have become proficient in the art or using words.

Think back for a moment, what words have been said to you, that are now saved in gold in your heart and mind.  As the day begins, as each next day of our lives go on, what words do we want to be remembered by someone else, for the rest of their lives? Words are a powerful tool.

Until the next post… Mrs Justa alias Cindy

In life every minute can be a challenge. We can waste each minute or take advantage of the gift of minutes we each have.

We have different abilities, different talents, sometimes talents lay dormant because we have not discovered them yet. In this world we live, it is easier to let the world take our moments in a pace paced chaos if we let it.

I am inspired and in awe at the events of yesterday/ and also last year around this time. Preston earned his 1st degree Black Belt and the ceremony was yesterday. Brandon was on the “demo” team, and also was a part of the ceremony. Brandon received his Black Belt last year.black belt

Watching the kids as they have gone from a new karate student to this level is amazing. It is such a commitment, incredibly hard work, however, the work is a desire, and not a “just do it because I said so”.

Each and every candidate forBlack Belt knows it is not given to you. There are goals to achieve, endurance to demonstrate, and hours upon hours of being focused on the tasks, the life-changing things you learn and commit to.

The students have actions of respect that they need to follow. Respect for the studio, respect for the people in their lives, respect for themselves and for the experience of those who are above them in experience. Yet also a compassion to help those not yet at the level they are at.

Yesterday was an incredible ceremony, the demo team doing performances that display their ability to go beyond their previous Black Belt Level. The candidates, no matter what level of Black Belt they were going for, their group became one. You funnel all of the students together, from 8 to probably 60 yrs old, and it displays a Karate family. Not in words on a paper, but in their total respect for the leaders, for each other.

I was so glad to be a spectator of the event, to see this commitment, and it was weird but as I observed people in the audience ( and the auditorium was packed!!), not anyone took their eyes off the stage. The entire experience was amazing.

I remember last year when Sensei said to his class- the day of the Ceremony is a fun day, enjoy the acknowledgment of your hard work, the next day, it is looking forward to your next steps. Watching the participants at the gathering after, it was amazing how confident the trainers are, how welcoming everyone is with one another, how respectful they were. Even on the “fun” day, they never lost the skills of life they have learned and will continue to learn.

This seems to be more and more common in starting a sentence in a discussion. Maybe it is just my own experience, however, I think some might relate. For me, there is probably nothing more powerful than those 2 words to smother my thoughts and back off my conversation.

Oh, I am sure there are times when it is perfectly appropriate, and on the other side of the spectrum, often times it does harm to a conversation.

Picture the scenario, if you will… you are thinking about something to do, or you are sharing a thought on an event, or maybe talking about a feeling… you stop, anticipating some back and forth conversation. The other party, even without taking a millisecond to absorb what you just said, pops in with “Yeah BUT……” and they go on in the talk to not only discredit the thought you expressed, they totally change the subject or have 1 or more reasons why what you just said was not worthy of the time it took to say it.

It is more common with some people than others, however, some people have taken it as their new way to start every response.

A long time ago I had been taught pretty extensively on communication. I was a volunteer on an 800 toll free number for NY State Child Abuse Line. It was extremely important that whoever was calling they were being heard. It was a line, that in my experience on it, had more people calling in because they were frustrated with something in life, and our line became the next step to talk about what was going on.

Very seldom was it a call because someone was abusing a child, it was more a frustrated parent that tried to do something and their child was not really cooperating in successfully completing the task at hand. Or maybe an event happened- totally accidental. No matter what the call, we needed to be able to communicate and listen.

20180825_131345One thing we learned was when someone finishes talking, digest what was said and quietly take a deep breath before responding. This gives you time to process what was just said and cleanses your mind prior to responding .

My brother Don has communication skills mastered. He hears, he absorbs what is said, and he responds after hearing the others thoughts.  Because of that, he truly makes people feel worthy of the words spoken, of the thoughts shared.

See if someone pops right back with a response before the other’s words have totally left their mouth, or at the second the last word was said, well that person was not listening as the words were being spoken. So instead of listening, we are thinking of a response as the talker was talking. We learned to never start our response back with: “Why” as Why causes an immediate defensive response. A new training for communication needs to be, do not start your reply with “YEAH , but”   … so as today begins, I am going to carefully listen to my speaking, my responses, and make sure I am practicing good learning skills too.

I hope you each take a few moments for YOU today,  Until later, Mrs. Justa.. alias Cindy

 

 

 

6-25-2012-Syracuse-and-Oswego-NY-004_thumb.jpgOh boy, it seems like every single Election time that I have experienced in my life, they get nastier and nastier. The ads on TV are almost nauseating. She did this, he did that…instead of totally focusing on themselves and what they see as their contribution to each of our futures.

After MONTHS of rather pointed shots at one another, it is kinda hard for me personally to see the sense in all that money for advertising.

My intent of this is not to specifically talk about one side of the fence or the other. Political parties should be a personal thing. Not something that is what you wear, but more something you trust is the best for you.

Friends, families, employment, relationships may never mend or new ones ever form, precious moments are all torn apart by nasty comments or cynical actions. Once upon a time, in a land long ago, we talked to one another in person or, in a letter, or on the phone. The voting was personal, at least in my life. We did not flaunt with the support of our 800 friends on social media how the political figure is either a blessing or a curse. We did not have the capability to unfriend a “friend” in a keystroke those who did not believe what we believe, our friends were really our friends. A person you knew you could call at a moments notice, and they would be there for you.

And ya know what, at the end of the day, all the people go about their day to day activities, our new elected officials start focusing on their new roles, no matter what we do, our days go on, and if we don’t like it– well do not fret- in only 6 months the next 18 months of political jargon starts again – this time for a major election. BUT FOR NOW- I am so looking forward to hearing about how this product is better, or where to get the best vacation memories from.  Ahhhhh…..

Have a great day ! Mrs. Justa… alias Cindy

 

 

Whoa, this is a tough concept to grasp. Personally, I am surprised I have any teeth left after the times’ life has kicked me in them. I would think it is safe to say that by the time we reach even 20-30 years old, we have had some not so good times happen. If I listed all of mine, well it would be a tad longer than the novel Moby Dick. For today I am going to reminisce on one.

First I have to admit as the bad moments seem to engulf my life, there is absolutely no one or any way I can think of, see, or believe that there is anything good from it.

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Life is like pebbles on the shore, some pretty some jaded

It may take years or decades to even have the courage to look at those times from afar. However, personally, I have been able to see the whole picture the further and further away I get from it.

There are times I do not know the whole picture, components I should not know, will never know, and that too is intended to be. Sometimes I just have to step back and comfort my pain with, the thought there was a reason. No one has the answers, and none of us can know why God’s plan hurts at times.

This particular realization I am looking at today, it took me 40 + years to look in the tapestry of my life and see some light in the dark colors.

For the first 10 yrs of my life, my family continued to grow in numbers ( a new child every 1 1/2 to 2 yrs )and we lived in rental places. I had 4 yrs of life in an upper flat in Bridgeport Cn, that followed with 3 different home in the Skaneateles NY area.

Four months before I turned 10, my parents found and bought a home in Bayberry. This was such an amazing event, it was fairly new, in a suburban neighborhood, we could walk to school, to church and stores, we were safe playing kickball in the street, we had lots of other kids, places to ride our bikes for hours without ever leaving the community, a great place to raise children, and mom could be a stay at home mom, comfortable with the safety of her more dependent children as we frolicked outside like happy puppies.

And then 4 months into this life, we were blessed to be in , boom….  the month of my 10th birthday, our dad was in the hospital he had had a heart attack. Mom had told us when dad came home he would be in a wheelchair at least until he regained his strength, we knew life was going to be way different.

Well, he never left that hospital, my mom at that time was 9 months very pregnant with her 6th child. Mom went into labor on the night before dad was to come home, a neighbor took her to the hospital, and the next morning VERY early… dad had died and mom gave birth.

I gotta tell you that moment in our lives was hard to figure out the whys. It was a time when it would be easy to not believe in anything. We had the cutest new sister, and dad never came home to enjoy the new addition to our family. Plus our “stay at home mom,” could no longer be. Mom went to college got her bachelors degree as she worked as a teaching assistant during the day at the local school district. Pam and I ( 11 and 10) became the child care in the after school/ evening times.

For years it was not easy, but looking back now… had we not had that bought home, where would our family have ended up?  We owned no residence before that time, I think in the plan of life, coloring in the grays with brighter colors, the move to Bayberry was one of those times when the bad, really also was a blessing for our future after dads death.

We were safe, we had a precious bundle of joy to help ease the pain, we  had neighbors helping neighbors, people helped us without ever being asked, so even as heartwrenching, as deep the hurt was, as scary, and as dark as those moments were, we were in the best place considering the whole picture.

Once I really looked beyond the pain, I was reminded once again, that life was never meant to be easy, but life is a blessing every single day I see the sun rise and set.

Until later, my love to all… Cindy, alias  Mrs. Justa

What did you miss today?IMG_0684 - Copy                                                              What tiny little something went totally unobserved?

This past early summer, I was walking around the deck, getting ready to mow. I try to always take a moment to see things, things that in a hurry I would easily have missed. Like this egg, there was a rather full nest under our deck that I found, as I looked up after seeing this egg on the ground. The grass was holding the egg ever so protectively, as it lay there 4 feet from where it should have been.

Now I know human hands should not touch anything in the nest, the birds might reject it, so I went in and got two very long spoons, and carefully took the egg from the grass blades and placed it back in the nest with the others that were there.

I snuck away, and days later that egg was still there, joined back with its brothers and sisters to be.

I always wonder what I have not seen, what I missed because of being focused on a task at hand or thinking about what I have to do next, and not stopping to experience the moment now.

It is so darn easy to put myself in full throttle for the next moment and forgetting the value of the moment I am at.

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Each moment is like the drops of water traveling down the needle of the pine tree, slowly moving forward. And in those drops of water, if you stop and look at them, you can see the world around you. It always brings me back to realizing how precious and filled with wonder the world is, if I just slow down, take a walk, and have my camera to capture the moments as they come to be. img_3511-copy.jpg                                           I hope as this weekend starts, even in the chaotic times life seems to throw at us, take a second, a minute, maybe even 5 or 10, and look down, or in front or up. It costs nothing, yet the benefits can be ever so rewarding.

Enjoy, until later, Mrs. Justa signing out.

We live in a fast-paced world. That can be good because of so many advancements that will happen in each of our lifetimes. And yet, it also can have its downfalls. I was writing a message in instant messenger to someone who lives fairly close to here. In it, we were exchanging thoughts, through words, but we had to reinterpret the words because, without the 3-dimensional life part, words need emotions at times. Words on paper ( or a computer screen} they do not give the whole picture at times, not when it is related to something in our lives.

If you ask someone how they are doing on the computer screen, and they say “great” or “okay”, we can interpret that as the meaning of the word. However in a true conversation, where you hear their response, the tone of the voice, do they look away, is there a glow of happiness when they say great? or is there a tone and lack of sparkle in their eyes. We do not see that, so even though we can communicate with many at the same time in the advanced world of technology….we should not let that replace the personal touch.

I am so guilty of this and am trying my darndest to remember this lesson. Mark and I were over at Jeff and Amanda’s home, the energy, the smiles, the sounds of the grandkids was really neat to be in the midst of it. The cuddles, the hugs, the can’t wait to sit next to me and get their back tickled… well that is something that no matter how fast life is going, one has to stop to spinning to enjoy those moments.

Do not get me wrong, I totally love the advancements and how we can reach people who we have met on the journey of life, however….. we need to also go beyond that and give personal times to one another.

I would rather have a child sing me a song, then google… 20171008_192345I would rather hear their laughter then only ever see LOL. A real hug is so much nicer than a virtual hug, embracing all the “things” I need to get done. The virtual side of life, should always remain a side of life, and not become all of life.

I hope this week is filled with fun moments, laughter as the kids trick or treat… and that each day provides a time to reach out personally to someone, somewhere.

Until later….Mrs Justa-Krusen

 

 

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