JustaKrusen/ Mrsjustakrusen

The sounds of summer, the sounds of comfort. Like hearing the kitchen faucet running and dishes clanging as I played outside, knowing my mom was there watching over her children. Giving us the freedom to go out and play, but close enough to help if needed.

The sound of rain tapping on the roof, peaceful sounding taps without the threatening wild winds of a thunder storm.

Listening as you drift off to sleep to the chirping of crickets, some say they chirp the temperature. I personally have never counted it, but some have told me if it is colder they chirp slower, and the hotter it is the fast they chirp.

We used to put sheets and blankets on out square clothes rack to make a make shift tent.

It was weird because the width from side to side became too narrow as we got older so our feet would stick out, and it was hard to cram 5 kids in this square- but we did it. As we stared up through the top we could see the sky flickering, and is obviously was not bug proof, so all night we would get mosquitoes buzzing in our ear canals… but if we were tough enough to make it through the night it was neat to hear the sounds of the birds as they woke each other up.

The sounds of the mosquitoes… not so much comfort… but they were sounds of summer.

The sounds of the ice cream man… that was a fun sound of summer. we did not get to buy from him a lot, but when we did it was always on a really hot day and the popsicle or cream bar would melt down our hands as we slurped to capture all the frozen treat we could.

The sounds of moms

ringing the cow bells for kids to come running home, and the sounds of various kids voices and laughter as we all romped around outside.

We got up and we were out for the day, running, chasing, setting up Kool-Aid stands , playing tag, kick ball, riding bikes, playing hopscotch, hide and go seek, Frisbee, bopping a tennis ball back against the school wall as the school was resting for the summer, swinging on the school swings, and sitting on the main street sidewalk waving at all who drove by. We sat and played jacks- did that for hours… I remember the warmth of the cement on my legs and butt… we would find a shade tree and read a book, we would go in the field and lay down – looking up at the clouds…

seeing all the shapes that flew overhead.

Do you ever remember the welcome feeling of a breeze on a very hot humid day, It was a whisper of a breeze, way too short lived and making anticipation for another one seem almost a desperate need.

I remember the feeling of the wind blowing on my face as  I peddled with vigor thru the suburban streets. The area we grew up in was all streets that looped together, so one could ride around and around the same loop.

The communities pool, as we approached it , we could hear the inviting sounds of splashing and the rebound spring sound of the diving board, with the ear piercing whistle from the life guards. And I can’t forget the sounds of a mower in the distance, almost a humming sound , every once in a while accented by the sound of a stick or rock having a duel with the blades of the mower.

And growing up in a suburban area, as the darkness fell , and our windows were open, we could hear the sounds of the neighbors – laughing, or fighting… it seemed always like they were in our house.

Ahh the sounds of summer..enjoy them… treasure your own… Love to all. Mrs Justa .. alias Cindy

Well. my day has come and gone and to my dismay I was not able to do everything I wanted to do.

We did our Saturday morning breakfast with Shawn and Pat – this week was at Stellas in the city. We live about 30 miles from there, but the guys like the Athens Omelet. Thank we left there and headed for the gym. I beat my butt there for 45 minutes on the machines and another 1/2 hr on the elliptical. Mark was able to work on upper body stuff, did some biking and a little rowing and spent a good amount of time in the pool.

My car was dirty- so we went and got it spiffed up… than my car was really hungry for fuel so we went to BJS – fuel was only 2.70 there. 

Last evening I gave my mouse to Mark- as his quit clicking ( I wonder what wore it out !!?? ) so I have one from a lap top Jeff gave us- so we went in to BJS to look for another mouse. They only had fancy dancy ones that have no wire- but this computer has no memory- I can not load another program on it, so I still have the lap top mouse. We were able to get some good buys there are frozen stuff we needed, so it was not a trip wasted. Than off

to Wegmans- got some wheat hot dog rolls and all grain hamb rolls for tomorrow..

than home- where I was able to get the sheets changed, have done all the laundry and spent 3 1/2 hrs sitting Indian Style on the beds in the camper stitching around the edges of the patches. More still to go, but my hip was beginning to feel like it was going to pop out of joint- so I stopped finally at about 7:30 . Still to do… my routine cleaning, a few windows need attention, ( looks like a bird was coming straight towards the house and did a quick put on of the brakes, and when he turned about face .. he crapped on the window. ( that would be kinda humorous to see a bird put its brakes on in mid air and do an about face. ) , enter the check nook stuff on quicken, I also want to get the seeds in and thin the forest of greenery form the flower garden- because those annuals are taking over the joint. Somehow I thought I could get this all done today… But day is done, … and I am not..

Tomorrow is day 2 of a three day weekend… So I am still okay… just wish those dang patches hadn’t consumed so much time this weekend and last. It is nice though and looks alot better than Mr Mouses design signature. Next weekend is possibly camping . Got some more to do with the patches..but we are getting there. I did bring out the sheets and towels today.. need to go thru the pantry and see what is there. Hope all is well in your area. Have a safe weekend… until later…Mrs Justa alias CIndy

Okay, so anyone who read my blog last night doesn’t end up thinking I am a total LOSER.. I thought I would share my tulips that are just now retiring for the season. But they were very vibrant and pretty. I planted the bulbs last year and they did come up with a vengeance this Spring.

I was just checking out the flower area under the sign as we went up to do the weekly shopping and I noticed the annuals are taking over the place. So this weekend— well tomorrow- I need to get some discipline on the plants before they take over the place in an anarchy.

Gotta leave some room for my pathetic wanna be marigolds and petunias.

Tonight is the first real sign of hotter days to come.. fireworks… we hear them in the distance. Indi thinks he is getting shot at.. but that is cool.. fireworks at the lake. We, unfortunately are not actually at “the lake” but when we drove by “the lake” there were lots of folks there in anticipation of the fireworks. ( I LOVE FIREWORKS)

SO a long weekend is about to happen. We were thinking about camping… maybe next weekend. This weekend I think we may be blessed with a dinner visit from our two little grand baby boys and their parents!! Maybe if the health of the children stays on a positive side… than there is a chance we will share a few hrs with them on Sunday Evening.. Mark and I are thinking an all American cookout.. Salt potatoes, hamburgers, hotdogs and a yummy salad. Some cottage cheese for Brandon too ( he LOVES cottage cheese!) , and a less annoying veggie for Amanda-

Tomorrow… NOW DON’T  SNICKER… I am planting our vegetable garden. ( NO not the pathetic plants I am praying will stop being whimps) but the seeds that I plant directly in the garden. Zucchini, summer squash, cantaloupe,  snap peas, lettuce, radishes… mmmm I can already imagine how great they will be. I am not bringing the pathetic ones out yet, don’t want to make the new seeds think that is all they have to do.

Stephanie – a very neat blogging friend of ours –http://bipolarsoupkitchen-stephany.blogspot.com/ suggested putting the pathetic plants I debuted on the blog last night – in a “hot house” type environment..so I am going to water them again tonight and cover them with the lids that came with their planter starter kits.. ( heck I can not do any more damage to them) – I will speak kindly to them, tell them I love them, hum them a lullaby, and cover them with plastic.

I want to stitch around the edges of the patches I put all over the tent camper before we crank it down . We ahve had it up all week to see if it leaks in the rain… but it won’t rain. So I figure if we put it down, it will rain, and at least we can see if the trunk area that we fixed..( or tried to fix) last week is no longer leaking.

I also realized I have let 6 weeks pass without entering the expenses in the check book on Quicken—so i will be doing that… I always love cleaning the house on the weekend.. so I will do that.

We will go to the gym all 3 days.. do what our bodies let us do.. Mark has a real good handle on what he can do without aggravating his leg or back, and he does the best he can.  He has found he can get a really good workout in the pool- as the weight bearing is not an issue in the water. plus the exercise bike and rower do not  injure his leg any more than it already is… and the trainer has showed him machines that help the upper body.

Me.. well I have a few ailments and Greg the trainer has found things that will help me too. We are both working hard to be better to ourselves…something that is easy to forget to do in this world of fast foods and quick fixes.

For now… I am off to watch some fo the news… and fix a protein smoothie… and  a little later… cover myself with fresh sheets and have my fan wisp air in my face as I drift off to sleep.. … Love to all…. mrs Justa.. alias Cindy

Last evening after coming home from work and the gym we had a (surprise !!chicken dinner) and than I went to work on the seedlings I have been patiently waiting to grow. There are about 50 little seedling pots that I have carefully ( and lovingly I might add) planted with tomatoes, peppers, marigolds, variety pack wild flowers and pansies.

They have been spoken to softly , sang to, watered and kept under a plastic cover till they sprouted thru the dirt. I have rotated them around so they do not reach towards the sun in one direction. Someone said to place them outside to “harden them” before I plant them in the ground. I did that yesterday… I attempted to “harden “ my little darlings… and to my dismay  I ended up with  maybe 8 empty little containers, and the rest of the group looks like long human hair thickness with a few leaves on them, trying to stand up, pathetic looking things, not nearly ready to face the cruel outside world… grrr. I planted these the third week in April.

This weekend is Memorial Day , planting weekend… and these tiny weanie little bits of life… well they are staying inside this weekend. I will plant my seeds this weekend though.

I added dirt, thinned out extra seedlings, watered them and made sure the tiny little pathetic stems are supported as best as possible. I am kinda afraid to go in and see the little guys tonight… … but I just did, and it is really SAD…

this is after 3-4 weeks of nurturing these guys…

ugggg. green thumb… well not in this household. So what to do???

I do not dare expose them back outside again… the critters would think this is was a snack tray leading up to a substantial meal.

I am thinking the farm market might be where I end up getting the tomatoes, flowers and peppers. But I will water them again tonight, give them a pep talk, and see what tomorrow brings.

For all of you who can look at an envelope of seeds and they grow … well God Bless you. But for meeeee. I am thinking I might be better with a rock garden… I am not giving up though… just may need some help form a farmer’s stand… Love to all.. mrs Justa… alias Cindy

What do you say to a mom who has lost her youngest child in a car accident?

What do you say to his older sister?

And what to his dad?

What do you say to that child’s high school friends as they stand in the church looking lost, hollow , confused ?

I felt like my words were insignificant at a time like this. It matters not what caused the accident… that is a separate issue. What matters is these people , who are hurting so deeply, what can you say?

I went to a church this afternoon, I went to support a friend of mine. She is a neat person, she is smart at what she does, and she is always willing to help if I have a question. I know her from work, I have worked there for 8+ years, and she has never shunned me or treated me with anything but with respect. She has a great sense of humor, a smile that makes others smile right next to her and she loves her family.

And there she stood today, next to her daughter who is in her mid to late 20s, and her husband on the other side of their daughter. A casket lay on their right, and draped over it was a senior 2010 tee shirt with his name on it and the school name he went to. There were flowers, not overwhelming- because her families wishes were in lieu of flowers please send donations to the church. There was a continuous run on a TV screen  of digital shots of this young mans life filling the screen and taking us to private times in his life we would not have gone to with out this death.

Photos of him with his friends, learning as a toddler, from birth to now… Every segment of his life, some with his mom and that contagious smile of hers. And past the screen , a little way down into the church were poses for his senior picture on the casket. She has faith and realizes that it was not God that caused the accident, but her faith in God will get her through this.

I looked to my right, in the pews of the church and it was peppered with young adults, probably his age, all looking in disbelief, many reddened swollen eyes, all acting with the utmost respect for the church, for the family, for their friend who lay in that closed casket, all of them brought there by tragedy. I am sure it taught some a lesson about the dangers of cars- and the respect they deserve. One can only hope that when a tragedy is this  senseless that at least  someone learned something from it.

We are given freedoms as we live on this earth, and when we take risks… well death can result. Having the knock on your door, and a couple police officers there to tell you your child is dead. It has to be the longest walk for those officers… and to be the one who answers that door… I can not fathom that pain, the what ifs, the whys and the void. And here she stood, she is a very petite woman, and she stood there with a glimpse of that smile I love to see, as she hugged people and thanked them for coming. All I could say as I hugged  her for a moment was I was so sorry for this terrible tragedy, and I just wish I could grab some of that pain and take it from her. I asked if she needed anything, her response was she could not believe everything we (our employer and individual employees) have done for her and her family. She can not wait to get back to work, and get her mind busy……

and as I left… my eyes welled with tears, as I thought that could be any of us… any of the parents in the world. Our kids just took chances and made it through. I am sure there must have been times when my own child took risks… I know as a young adult I did…

but this child… he was not so lucky.   Please, if you know any young drivers, young adults… plead that they not disrespect the power of a vehicle, the power of speed, the fragility of life. Peace to all, and prayers to my friend and her loved ones. Mrs Justa. alias Cindy

When you look down that road what do you see?

The road of life, it is never ending , no dead ends, maybe poor choices on direction, and for sure hazards along the way that you could not predict, but what lies ahead.

The road to being healthy- that stretch of road has been a good choice. Last measurements – I was down 44.5 inches and last weigh in I am 38 pounds less. So that turn in the road was a good one.

Mark is traveling that road with me. He is always incredible at melting off the pounds, which is good for him, if he was not, he would get discouraged some, as he knows he always is an easy one to shed pounds.

What is different on this road- well the speed limit is slower. No massive drastic short cuts, not this path. This is a road to focus on. We are going to take it carefully… why??Well for one reason we plan not to turn around on it this time. Nope it is a one way path. If you are on the healthy roadway too , hang on…

When you change the way you think, the way you measure food, ( I mean measuring too… count those calories, have a food diary and enter everything that passes thru your lips, ) , read food  labels !!!,  compare it to your activity- knowing how many  calories are consumed versus spent doing whatever was done for the day… well that road is one traveled carefully.

No room to nod off.. ( have an uncontrolled consumption day.. ) nope .. on this road.. stay alert. just like a deer can run across in front of you, so can a person who wants to tempt you with a road block of donuts or double cheeseburger from fast food joints. So stay alert and avoid the dangers.

The road of life, it is never guaranteed to be smooth ( heck i am the queen of potholes and rough terrain) but hold firm, steady and be in control instead of the road being in control of you.

What ever your journey, what ever is so important to you that you can feel yourself yearn for it, take that pathway. Believe in yourself like I believe in me. Have a safe journey… we may pass one another, We will wave and stay on our side of the solid line. Love mrs justa alias Cindy

  Man what a great weekend that just past. I am still feeling like I could sleep for another extra night, but it was a neat weekend. That is what weekends are for!

Did ya ever have a sucky weekend? Man that is the bottom of the barrel pit-so-rama when a weekend sucks. Ya wait all week for the weekend and boom- it is torture.

But this past weekend… not-so-much. We got to see both our grandsons- and this little guy is 3 weeks old now, pretty alert, he was pretty content. Just looking around, observing whatever his 3 week old eyes can see.

Mark held him in the crook of his arm for over 1/2 hr, and he lay there at peace, looking at whatever caught his eye.

I look at Preston and it seems like only yesterday Brandon was that size… yet Brandon is going to be 2 in August.

Brandon LOVES being outside. And if an airplane flies over- it is the best thing in the world. He will point and say “Dat” He points at various things and says “Dat”. it is so much fun to see his fascination with life.

Brandon is becoming tall enough to open the storm doors and to let himself out, so the kids are going to put a hook lock high on the door so he can not get it opened. 

He needs to have major child psychology for getting him to come back in- I bribed him with a ride in his toy cop car he has in the house.

Preston and Brandon are lucky- they have a good strong parental unit., and grandparents, great grandparents and family that care for them.

Than last evening Mark spoke with Adrianne on the phone…

and I could hear across the room Mackenzie as she was screaming with joy as she crawled around their house. It is so neat to have our kids having their own kids. They seem to both love their children and both of them have kids with smiles that can only make you laugh.

Yes, life was good this weekend…

and today was not a bad Monday.. ( all except the part when I had to wake up by the alarm clock this morning!)

Hope your Mondays were fine too. My love to all… Mrs Justa alias Cindy

Remember a few weeks back when I posted these photos of our camper that was winter entertainment for mice… well we have been around to folks, getting prices for totally replacing with new canvas, ( no one was interested in repairing the existing stuff) , prices for another camper, ( do not want the payments) , to a hard shell… need a different car ( so than we would have car and trailer payments) , and we joked about a fifth wheel.. ( now we are talking about truck payment and huge camper payments) and than there is always the real motorized RVs… definitely not in our budget- ( but fun to walk thru ) ……….

So we decided to work on it ourselves. and ………….

here

are

the

results.  TAAA DAAA >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

We first patched the outside with canvas,

than

added this flag material to the outside-cuz the canvas just looked unfinished to us.

Than we have to tackle the inside… a few weeks back the canvas and screen patches were applied to the outside- but the inside showed the holes… What to do??? After thinking long and hard over options.. here is what I came up with.

I added extra patches for a wall paper look instead of just over the chewed areas…

AND the little varmints ate some of the curtains too… grrr. that was a tough decision what to do… the curtains have fancy little plastic clippy things that clip onto an aluminum bar… too tough to sew these clippy things on my sewing machine… so the patches came out again…

VOILA… we have a rather unique camper…

and we tried to not make it look gaudy… but at the same time I could not see where we could afford the camping store to do the canvas—heck this is a 1995 camper…

so now our last project- figure where the water is leaking in the trunk, caulk every seam imaginable and wash the camper.

This afternoon we emptied the trunk area, and found that the face of the trunk was popped out from the aluminum lip- so it has been raining and snowing into the trunk- the floor of the trunk has a 6” area that is weak- and a corner- two finger width that is through the bottom. Ideally it needs a reinforced floor… but taking out the old and putting in the new… However. Mark and I are not quite able to do that— so we cleaned out the trunk, caulked the hole… filled that sucker right up…., glued the facing to the trunk back on.. and than I used Simple Green and cleaned the trunk inside and out. We are letting it dry for a few days in the up position. Than I can clean the rest of the outside of it once we set it down. Duct tape, caulk, glue and a lot of scrubbing— who knows if it will hold!

Next adventure- is we had to replace the tires- and the new tires are bigger than the original tires. So we can not put the bed support on unless we remove the spare. (Which we have done) But we either have to move the spare bracket- or drill a new hole for the bolt to go in for the bed brace— we are thinking maybe Jeff could help us with that venture… we may see if we have a drill and bit to do it.. so this is probably not a great fix to some… but we are okay with it… we are “Happy Campers”..

Maybe Memorial Weekend we will try it out…we want a little rain storm first so we can see how it holds up… grrr when ya want rain.. it does not come… Love to all. A very pooped Mrs Justa.. alias Cindy

I think this and Fall are my utmost favorite times of year. Today it feels like summer a bit, temp in the 80s and kinda toasty in a car. People complain about NY State, but if you really look at all the state has to offer, it is a nice place to live. People bitch about taxes, but we are not as high as some, and our state has a lot to offer to New Yorkers and visitors.. Oh I know there are many pretty states, I am not saying we are the best or anything, just that it is not a bad place to be.

I personally HATE humidity… I have a friend whose daughter is in Florida and she is offering to mail the humidity up to her mom.. Her mom hates it more than I do !  We get humid days, but not humid life. We have bugs, but not bugs on steroids- like in the south. ( Man I remember being in South Carolina- there were spiders big enough for a spooky scare the be-geebers out of me movie…!!!

Most nights it is cool enough that the AC is not needed… just a fan in the window.

We get snow, but we have people who know how to take care of it. An occasional blizzard, but it comes and goes…We pay taxes… but there are plows and piles of salt, and roads that are in good shape, and provisions to work with mother Nature.

We have wind storms, ( not often tornados or hurricanes !!) but we have incredible electric companies that repair unbelievable disasters in not so bad of time.

We have rain , but it comes and goes. We have Niagara Falls… now that is cool !.

We can drive for 20 minutes and be at Lake Ontario, a few hours and we are in Buffalo or Albany, 5 hours and we can be at the Big Apple, 3 hours and we can be on White Face Mountain or in the Catskill Mountains. . There is camping and fishing, water and amusement parks. Woods, towns, history, country and cities and sports galore no matter what season… yes I like New York State.It is as if God placed a hand print in the state to create the hills and valleys, the creeks and lakes- that is why we have the finger lakes, I just know it is… maybe just maybe that is Gods hand impression!.

And if we want to go a bit further… well in just 6 hours we are in Ohio,  Mass, Conn, PA, Canada or Vermont.

By having different seasons, and seasons come and it feels good for them to arrive, well I think at least for me, I appreciate the changes. Heck Spring hits and it feels like we just came through a battle and won the challenge.

Fall comes and the colors- they are breath taking, and we put away our summer yard stuff , kinda like it goes in hibernation.. and in Spring- it is like all new again as we pull out the stuff and enjoy the wind chimes tinkling in the breeze, the solar lights showing the way, and flowers and birds and cook outs and campfires.

Yes life is cool, and Spring has sprung… and I am glad to be a New Yorker.. Love to all Mrs Justa.

Every one of us have stories in our lives. Did you ever wonder what some of the other peoples stories are?

I was in a pharmacy by the church on Sunday and there were these two guys in the store.

The guy on the left was parked by the Sunday Papers that were in a shopping cart in the front of the store, his buddy was going through the store for something .

The cashier asked the guy parked in the front if he needed help, and he said, “No, I have been instructed to stay put…I am not allowed to spend money right now.”

I found that to be interesting, he and his friend obviously have health issues that cause them to need to use these scooters.

Disability is a very fixed amount, and I wondered if his story had a wife in it, and were her last words before he left with his friend “ Don’t you dare spend any money!”  … were these guys neighbors in the Senior living subsidized townhouse area they were heading back to.

Or were they roomies? They talked together like old friends as they left the store and headed back to their home/s. That made me wonder, what is their life story?

What did they do in the prime of their lives?

Where did they come from? Do they have others who care about them? What do they do now from sunrise to sunset? How did becoming wheelchair dependent affect them?

Did they accept it as a part of aging?? Or did they feel a great depression over their loss of independence?

Are they dads?

Do their kids pay attention to them?

Or do their kids just let them be?

How do they get things that one can not get at the drug store? Can they drive?

They did not give the impression of “poor me”, and they did not have an angry tone in their voice.

I wonder how I would be if became unable to walk? Unable to take a stroll? Would I take a stroll on my scooter and be okay about it? I can not answer that. I know I love to walk. Currently my walking is mainly on a treadmill or elliptical… but I have always loved to walk. What a loss that would be to lose that ability.

Yes we all have stories… we all could probably talk the ear off another telling them…. how are you handling your life stories? Me??? Some okay… but some I can not let go of the pain… or the loss…or the anger. I know I should forgive those who have done wrong by me… in some of my life stories… but that is so very hard to do…I try.  

Make your life stories learning adventures… and not places to harbor festering feelings. Love each moment you can take that step, or breath that air, or talk a word, or see a sight. My love to all… Mrs justa.. alias Cindy

Where to go?

What to do next?

What is the correct step to take?

Those “why me” situations..

When is it best to just keep your mouth shut?

Life is full of those quandaries. Things as simple as what to wear for the day, to more complicated things.. which task to tackle first.

Do I buy this.. or save for that? 

Do I go there.. or do I go somewhere else first?

Where to go from where you are in life?

Yes we have choices we make every day. And some of those choices are not ones we can turn back from. So it can be tough to decide which step to take next. When life’s future feels like it is all closed doors, that has to be scary. When people feel like there is no way out, no options, that has got to feel lonely.

I think about that as I hear of people who are seeking employment. When I see people who might be scraping to pay for their few groceries, pr a[[ear to have all their belongings crammed in their car. Closed doors… doors that seem bigger than life itself….

have you ever felt like every door is closed.

My kid sister is in a bind.. she wrote on FB that she is still looking for employment, it brings the closed door thing closer to home.

The folks who are ill, injured, and without the ability to work.. the closed doors are everywhere.

People whose family no longer speaks to them….

People without the ability to keep their homes.

People who have lost their will to go on….

I had closed doors all around me in my life… I am sure many people have… and each time the door  knobs would not turn, it felt like they were super glued… and than all of the sudden, a door knob creaked and something would make the door ajar.

If you are going through a time of closed doors… feeling like the options are poor to non- existence… have faith that a door will open… watch it carefully, do not miss an opportunity to go forward.

It is funny, because in this photo … do you notice the cat.. peering around the corner? Just like those opportunities that might be on their way….

Good luck to those looking for the opening.. I am sure you will find one. Love, Mrs Justa,,, alias Cindy

Progress… bits of progress.

Progress that causes one to look in the rear view mirror of life and remember the miles that are not so far in the past. Today as I was going up the stairs at the gym to leave ( it is only a short stairway of maybe 5 stairs) I had my gym bag over my shoulder, and 3 people walked down the stairs as I was going up them. And you say… “SO WHAT?” or maybe you are thinking “?Yeah what is your point?” Well living in the body of a “morbidly obese” person – there were times when if I  was going up or down the stairs, others waited for me to pass through. We could not fit together…  Tonight we shared the stairway- and that was with my gym bag.

Progress.. a moment of noticing progress…

I went to the dentist this morning for my every 4 month teeth cleaning.. and the chair felt bigger than it had last time I was there. And I could lean over to spit the mouth wash and water in the little spitting sink without feeling like my boobs were in the way… Heck before I would lean towards it, push in my chest, and still have to estimate the pressure behind my spitting the fluids- to try to aim it in the drain area.

Progress… a moment of WOW.. progress…

I was going to sit in an office at work, and the chair that pinched my ass… the chair that I had to remember to push down on  the arms when I went to stand up to leave.. or I would have been hunched over with a chair stuck on my butt as I went to leave…( can you imagine how embarrassing that would be getting up with the chair????….  well that chair was roomy.

Oh I have a LONG way to go…

no way am I close to where I want to be.. but I am 33 pounds closer… and 44.5 inches less of me towards my goal… I am doing it for me.. and to be the wife, the mom and grandma I have longed to be for a lifetime.

Man it is tough to loose weight? Anyone who has lived the life of a yo-yo— a life where there will be a few months of loosing weight and than years to follow with gaining it back and than taking on some extra… you understand.

 If you know of anyone who is thinner than fat… anyone who feels the needs to say something to a fat person informing them they are fat… guess what folks.. I think they know. And your comments will not help them turn things around, or figure out what works for them. I can attest to the fact that I know exactly what it feels like to feel I was the largest person in group of people… I can assure you more often than not.. I can remember times when I felt disgusted with myself…. ashamed of how I looked…still do…  and felt bad for the fact that I was a fat mom or wife… I know what it is like to not fit in a booth at a restaurant, or feel like the store will no longer carry a size that will fit, or worry about a chair collapsing… so for anyone going through fat times… my words are I understand…it does not have to be that way… my journey is far from over.. but I will share it with you from time to time.

Some wise person once , on some pep tape or seminar I had gone to, said “It takes 30 days to start a habit.. good or bad.”  Well I gotta tell you.. I miss when I do not go to the gym.. Can ya believe that?? And… I actually tolerated 20 minutes on the elliptical machine today and was not huffing and gasping like I just came out of a sand storm. Heck the first time I stepped on it- it was a joke.. 2 minutes tops… and I felt like I was in need of oxygen…  legs wobbly, feeling embarrassed… ashamed….

I asked my trainer tonight if it is okay to do the cardio every night. And how often should I do the weights ? he said that cardio every night is fine, change the speed and resistance, alternate the degree, and it is fine… the weight training- he advised 3 times a week. The formula is pretty basic,… watch the calories… become more active… ( a little at a time) ..and do not starve yourself- you defeat the intent. Keep a food log, an activity log… look for baby steps… not the end of your goal…

Each of us have  a point where we make a decision- Mark and I decided to go for the goals at the same time…we support each other, encourage each other and know what each is going through. We have an incredible support system with our kids, our friends and I am glad he is on the journey and doing so well too…  it was something I have prayed hard for..for a while… and we are doing it. We figure the journey will take a year , maybe a little more… but what is a year when it can give you so many more? BELIEVE, HAVE FAITH, Love to all, Mrs Justa..alias Cindy

Saturday was a day when you could look at the sky and watch as the clouds change from image to image. When I was a kid I would lay in the grass and stare at the sky as the show went on. The wind would wisp the clouds around and I would watch as a cloud changed from looking like a question mark to a dog, to a person, to a shape, the imagination would be the only limitation one would have on what shapes were there.

I sat in my car for a little while and just watched the show on Saturday, than I got out, shot a few photos and went on my way. As I look back on this ever changing world in the royal blue sky, I am finding a similarity to our day to day lives. In a second the shape of our life can change.

Jeff and Amanda dealing with being new parents for a second time and now having their 18 mos old with Coxsackie. Man if you have never seen it, or had it.. I give them an award of patience and poor Brandon I am praying he will fell better soon.This virus causes sores in the mouth, sometimes on the hands and feet… it hurts to drink, eat, ya feel like crapolla. From one day he felt fine- to another day- high fever , and really sick.  Life changes in the blink of an eye.. just like the clouds. My prayers are with him.

I just read on Facebook that some very good friends of ours are at University Hospital with their child who was injured in a 4 wheeler accident. He sounds like more pain than permanent damage, but in-patient for a couple days in observation, fractured shoulder or upper arm, pelvis and knee. Possible surgery in the future. So what ever life was like 48 hrs ago, in a split second life changed. Like the clouds… the things we see in one instant are looking different all of the sudden. I hope he is okay. I feel for our friends. My prayers are with him too… that God will help them through this very rough time…

Today, on a much milder note… but still it was a different day than I had planned when I went to bed last night.. we ended up with 4 people out of work for various reasons. We got through it, but when we are planning on a Monday for one person out, and 3 more are added to the list… well it changes the whole day. We survived, fortunately we are all cross trained to do all the various responsibilities, so it was not as devastating as it would have been if we each had our special responsibilities and no one else knew how to do them…Thank goodness.. but it reminded me of the clouds on Saturday. A wisp of a few moments and the day was changed for all.

I heard on the radio today on my way in.. a woman was killed in a head on collision after she drifted over the yellow line. Wisp.. whosh.. life changed for those in her life, for her family, friends, job, church, the list goes on and on.

We need to always be ready, we need to expect the unexpected, we need to be aware. May this find you at peace right now,…. Hang on, life is a rough ride, unexpected turns and bends… Love to all, Mrs Justa alias Cindy

   This is the garden size we had last year and what we will go with again this year. I would estimate it maybe 20 feet by 15 feet. Maybe a little smaller.

Our friends last year brought over their rototiller and we attacked the area in the yard to create a garden. It was really hard to do it because the soil had LOTS of rocks in it.

This year we are not going to bug them again for rototilling.. nope we bought a cultivator. The garden size is going to remain the same size, but it is cultivated now. I was feeling pretty good about the way our garden is coming out- we should be able to start planting some seeds in the next week or so… but than we went to visit our friends with the rototiller… and well I am feeling like our garden is kinda a joke.

This is their garden !!!

It must be 100 feet long at least and 35 feet wide. I personally could not imagine how long it would take to tend to a garden like this, but it would be fun getting all the veggies from it.

We will try tomatoes, squash, radishes, lettuce, snap peas, peppers….AND who knows what we will end up with…

they will have many varieties of items… heck it looked like they bought seed packets from each area of the display….probably could start a little farm store.. plus they have raspberry, elderberry and some other berry growing on their land, plum apple and pear trees… gee I think they could live off the land if they needed to.

We went out to meet their newest member to their family… meet Sadie..

She is from a rescue program and is the sweetest little girl .

She loves to be petted, to have her tummy rubbed and to be with people.

Look at her smile!

We are so happy for our friends… there is nothing better than a nice dog to fill your days and nights.

So off I go for the remainder of the evening… I have some things to do around the house.. and I am feeling the nod off on the couch mode hitting..

( You know the one.. where you try to stay awake.. and pretend like you are alert… but your head keeps bobbing.. and finally your significant other says… why don’t you go to bed…)

all of the sudden you know you are BUSTED>>>  Love to all, Mrs Justa… alias Cindy

We try to do something every year to make an improvement to the house or the land. Well this years project was bounced back and forth between a deck for the front, to  new stairs. We will only do something we can pay for, and we saved for either a deck or something to make the front more friendlier.

We kept hemming and hawing about a deck- you do not want to do it cheaply- it can sag, and if you go with the composite wood.. well the budget would do more than sag. We wanted to do something to make getting into the house easier.

The steps we bought when we bought the house were always like climbing Mount Everest cuz the steps were steep… and they snuggly fit the width of the door, so if we had anything to carry in, we had to reach up and grab the door, open it , than come to the entrance. A sight to behold when we are coming in from grocery shopping or when I am lugging in my purse, bag from work, gym bag and lunch bag after a LONG day away from home.

We actually have had times when entering the house, you had to swing the stuff on the other side of the railing to get into the door.. than it would get caught… ahhh 2 years of frustration… ended.

So here are the new steps… they are preformed concrete ones that were brought in with a boom truck. No one is going to move them very easily.. they will last longer than a deck would have, they are really sturdy and bugs wont eat them . The old steps are now at our slider… they look very nice back there.
The problem than became what to do with the walkway… as the steps are about 2 1/2 feet wider… so that was my Saturday project.Mark was my observing supervisor.. as he is not able to do heavy lifting or stand for long… I needed to take all the concrete circles up , rake the old mulch about and add new mulch and reposition the circles- plus widen the part in front of the steps. It took a few hrs, but it was a cool day..no bugs..a breeze… and I was one determined ol fart !.

Than I went off to the garden to be area… rakes rocks, re-cultivated and spread manure in it. yes you heard that right you suburban folks… I… spread manure in my garden. Some very good friends of ours came over a couple weeks ago- we were giving them a treadmill.. and they brought me a bag of poopy.I was excited about it.. as I did not have that in the garden last year. A really nice trade off… it should help the garden grow.

I was worried- cuz it had been in a black garbage bag in the sun for 2 weeks that it would be RIPE… but it was not thank God, for I think I was weary enough that the garden would have gotten more than poop as I was spreading it around..

AAhh I love country life… Take care all.. love to all. Mrs Justa.. alias Cindy 

I wonder what next year we will save up for ?

Okay I do not know about you.. but I am really pooped tonight. Mark had to have a procedure done today so I chose to go to the gym this AM before work. AGG.. It felt good to get it done early but man oh man.. getting up at 4:30 trying to scoot around the house quietly, off to the gym, and getting my shower before going to work… well I am really feeling it now.

Our every Saturday breakfast at 8AM will not be tomorrow- for Shawn and Pats oldest daughter is graduating from college tomorrow- so they are off to Albany. I am kinda glad… maybe I can sleep till 7 or so tomorrow morning. We have stuff planned for the weekend around here. I am trying to have my plants for the garden start inside, and supposedly they Are suppose to go outside during the day to strengthen.. well I hope it works cuz they are really tall and floppy right now ! Guess they need some vitamin D.

I want to play with the mulch this weekend… and I want to work in the garden some tilling the soil. The garden and mulch are things I really love to do… It is neat to think in a few months our food will come from the garden.. ( As long as those squash and tomato bandits sty away this year.)

I was thrilled to see Mark actually posted today… on his blog. I love reading his thoughts, he is a funny guy… and has some pretty neat angles on stuff. He did let the cat out of the bag on our weight loss journey. I think we are both inspired by the biggest loser. Those trainers are nuts though… man to achieve the numbers those people get in 16 weeks… ya have to be nuts. I think since Feb 14th I have lost 33 pounds and 38.5 inches. ( It helps when ya measure 8 or 9 areas of the body!) After P.T could no longer help Mark with his leg and thigh.. and after the massage therapist was no longer able to help his ortho did suggest that the gym would be a option to work to at least not lose any more from his injury… the recumbent bike helps the knee by not putting undo force on it, gives him cardio … …and the pool is great.. We did hire a trainer- for many reasons. I know there is a lot Mark needs to be careful of doing due to his knee, hip and lower back- so I was encouraged that the trainer keeps those areas in mind and is able to introduce machines that will not harm him. Plus the pool is great, because he can walk and not be weight bearing.

.. For me, I have my own issues… and the trainer considers them… none of them are as disabling to me as Marks’ are.. so he has fun with me… I think my sweating and mumbling are his entertainment. He has me do stuff and than tells me I am funny as I mumble through the challenge. I give it my best shot… and try to stay off the floor !

Honestly though.. we both realize that this is it.. this is our life… the 2nd and third and fourth chances are really gone. We have grandkids, and kids, daughter and son in laws, family we care for, friends that are dear.. and we want to hang around for a long while and enjoy them… so the gym is going to help us achieve those goals. I hope this find you well… Until later- nity nite!  Love Mrs justa

Moms never forget special times when their kids were younger. No matter how many years go by, something will trigger a memory or two that has been sitting patiently waiting to be seen again.

It happens to me often, different things, different places and poof the memory is like on Memorex, and I actually can feel the same emotion, smile to myself as  if it was the time I am remembering… Jeff..he was an awesome kid !!!…

I had to run to Wally World for a couple of things and as I was leaving there was a very young boy- probably 15 – working there. He was bringing in the carts. And he was LOVING it. He truly had a real smile, he was actually showing pride in his job, and he had a genuine “Hi..” and “Thanks for shopping here today.”… Not a scripted bunch of words that the employees know they have to say… no this was from the heart.

And the memories started to come out. Swirling… coming to the surface…. When Jeff was in early middle school he always wanted me to park the farthest away from the store so he could bring the stray carts in. He would tell me with the most sincere smile and a sparkle in his eyes.. “When I grow up I want to bring in shopping carts for my job.”  At that time- he loved hauling carts… I mean loved it. And he was not even working at the stores. He just did it.

Later in high school he actually got a job at a grocery store… and the carts did not have the same meaning to him than they did at 11 or 12. But he took pride in the job, and everything he did was done with perfection… and even bringing the carts in- he did neatly, efficiently. He loved working at that store. I saw Jeff’s love for that job in this young boys face tonight. And it was refreshing. Everyone needs to have a job they really love and not one that is just a J O B.

Oh my goodness, I hope you all love your jobs… To that young boy… “thanks for the memory… “  I love my little boy.. even though he is a grown man, husband and father of 2 beautiful sons… he will always be my baby…. and always be in memories from many years gone by. love Mrs Justa.. alias Cindy

Okay… now I do not know what it is about me and this one cashier at the grocery store near my work- but no matter what a

isle I select- she always is in the control of the register. I am sure she is a nice lady in a different environment, but she and cashiering are not a match.

Every time… I am not exaggerating… every time … she messes up the order, or starts chatting with someone in the vicinity, or acting really nervous and making mistakes and saying “Oh Dear” and “It is not my fault “  Today was no exception.

Scenario… it is 11:00 AM , I have an 11:30 meeting and needed to go and pick up from the deli 5- 2 foot long subs and the condiments for our Nurses Day luncheon. The deli had them all cut into 1/8ths, they have everything wrapped and ready for pick up… phew I am thinking clear sailing. ( I have an 11:30 meeting that I let the folks know I might be a few minutes late for. they were okay with that)

So I am thinking about this luncheon and all we had was the subs and a huge salad and dressing. SO I thought I would buy a couple big bags of chips and some of those frosted sugar cookies from the bakery—( they had a special for 2.50 for 10)

I am scooting thru the store- it was not real busy at the time. I counted my items- aha- I could make it thru the express aisle ( 12 items or less) I was on a roll. The cashier that screws up is NEVER on the express isle.. today is a good day.

WRONG!!!!!!!!!!As I am in a position now to go thru the line- folks ahead of me.. and more behind me… I see her… the cashier from la la land. She is short, so she is hidden behind the signs and register until it is TOO LATE!   UGGG> I am committed to the line. my stuff on the belt… dividers marked between the subs and the chips and cookies-which I was buying separately… The folks in front of me have a cake- one item… in front of them 9 items. Well she starts yacking with them about every item, about life, about work…. she talks really slow… kinda a nervous type person… and ugg they had coupons… she dropped one down the conveyor belt.. ugg.

Finally she was at the cake people… ugg she talked for what seemed like 5 minutes about birthdays and cakes and what flavor was it… she takes the money in VERY slow motion… almost freeze frame. … Phew.. my turn… the chips and cookies… she rings them up, I run my card thru the machine— it won’t read it. So she says ..just keep doing it…and hitting clear… so I played this silly game for a few minutes and finally said this scanner is not working… she said … just keep trying…. ugggg I took out my check book and wrote a check.

Now the subs… there is one bar code price sticker stating 42.45 … she swipes it.. it rings up 9.13… instead of calling for help she keeps swiping it. It a minute or two she has swiped enough that the 42 dollar subs are now ringing at 200+ dollars. With each swipe she mumbles something about “it is not my fault.” No one is saying anything to her… she is just mumbling. Finally I suggest maybe calling for help? Now the hunched over old woman behind me is going on about her “ice cream will be melted “before she leave this line… and  “ I thought this was express..”  “ I might die before I pay for my ice cream”  Each comment makes the cashier from HELL more nervous…

The cashier than looks at me out of the clear blue  and says…”Wow, are you having a party?”  “ What is the party for?” “Do you like subs?”  “Have you had these cookies before?” “ What is the weather like?” UGGGGGGGGGGG the manager in the meantime is trying to work around this cashier who has taken on the role of leading a game of 20 questions… and me… I am looking at my watch and wondering how much longer. I had just picked up a bag the cashier was handing to me…and the cashier pulled on something with the bag- it caught my watch and yanked the pin out of the band.. who knows where that went- ( probably in the hunched over old woman’s ice cream behind me..)
I did finally get out of the store… on my quick jaunt back to work.. I am laughing about the whole thing- it really is comical. Maybe that is why they keep her. I called work and asked for help carrying up the stuff, got to my meeting 10 minutes late… and I think my blood pressure maybe settled down by days end… the luncheon went well….

AHHHHH some days… Love to all…. watch for folks maybe in a job not meant for them…. Mrs Justa alias Cindy

I am going to stretch out of the area I normally write about and write about what life is like being overweight- tonight – how it was as a kid. I do this as I hear in the background the biggest loser. It is the end of the show and they are all weighing in for the week.

We were all born in this world as small babies, and for what ever the reasons… and there are thousands of reasons… a large percentage of folks end up overweight. Now children are increasingly more overweight than average weight.

Me I grew up in a family where we had not much money. So foods were heavy in carbs… pastas more a percentage of the meals than a sauce or items in the pasta meal. Rice, fried foods, home made breads, cookies ( always cookies around ) Heck I think my mom ( rest her soul) could quadruple a toll house cookie recipe ( all but the chips)  and the game was finding a cookie with more than one chocolate chip in it.

I am not faulting my mom- she did the best she could-but as a child if I was hurt, or did something good- food was the comfort item. And after years of “clean plate club” and “you can’t leave the table till you eat everything on your plate” and “there are children in Africa who would love to have your food on your plate” well it led to childhood obesity and feeling ashamed in gym, embarrassed when we were all called to the nurses office, standing in line as we each got weighed, never being picked for any games in gym, never able to do pull ups, running was tough, and watching others in school wear fashionable things while I pretended not to care about what tent type outfit I wore.

Being called names, ( chubs, fatty, tubby tubby two by four, the list goes on and on) , kids are cruel and they would single out the fat kids, point fingers at them and laugh at them , the feeling like I was the biggest kid in my grade, begging for people to sign my year book… because there were not too many looking to do so. So kids wrote nice things to me, because I shoved my book under their pens as they were signing other books.

Feeling self conscious about how I looked every day of my childhood and adolescence. I would joke about it, I would try to make it seem like it did not hurt… but ya know what .. it does hurt being a kid overweight. it is not normal.. ( now a days it seems more accepted) but in that kids mind.. they realize the things they can not do… they realize how they want to be pretty, they hear what other kids say about them behind their backs but loud enough to be talking to them directly, and they are not happy. I felt like a freak at times…

It is like I can see inside my feelings from 40+ years ago.. and it is not a good feeling. So please. if you know of a child who is headed towards obesity- or already there- Stop the cycle now.. Help to make a game out of good nutrition. Turn off the cell phone, video games, computers and TVs and go get a kick ball, a base ball glove, a Frisbee. Go for a walk along a shore, or at a nature center, maybe go to a park, walk the mall.

Just get moving. It will pay off in the long run…

I mean it.. it will… Lvoe to all… Mrs justa..

Happy nurses week.. Happy nurses official day – May 12th. Every year nurses day is May 12th. Why??? Because May 12th is Florence Nightingale’s Birthday. The majority of nurses I know got into it because they have a level of compassion that soars above the rest.

They are hard workers, they are giving of themselves, they are not judgmental, they feel good at the end of each day. Sure, as in any field, we can remember the nurses that were in it for the wrong reasons, but I am focusing on the ones who were destined to be nurses.

A nurses day is unpredictable, for human nature and life is unpredictable and the day is based on human events. it is not like jobs where you can go into work and know what your day will be like. I personally have worked in the hospital, in the doctors office, as a triage nurse, even volunteered for a trip with the school band to be their nurse, did a distance learning program and became a associate paralegal and a diploma legal nurse consultant… I have been in the payer side – in administration.

Working in the hospital – well I think that was my favorite type of nursing. It is not an easy job, but for me it was a job where I felt every day I made a difference.

I do not know how many of the folks out there have been in a hospital- but I am thinking probably many. As a hospital nurse many of my colleagues and myself took pride in making the stay as good as we could for every patient. It is a unique environment, because when  person is admitted to the hospital they change their role in life. No matter if is a person who lives on the street or a well known professional, everyone gets the same gown, with the same possibility for the need for frequent nursing care, possible surgery, IVS and someone to care for them . As a nurse it is one thing I found a challenge but I took the challenge and ran with it, for I did not want anyone to feel they were judged or not treated professionally and with respect. Or ashamed because they were at the mercy of a stranger to care for their most private needs.

Oh at the end of each day, there are sore backs, swollen feet at times, and legs that are screaming that they have been walking and tugging for the past 8 hrs or so, but it always was a good tired. And no matter how poorly a patient felt, I did my best to make them comfortable and not only listen to what they said but try to read their non verbals too.

I truly miss the hospital environment, I love the administration side of nursing, but the hospital side was fulfilling in a different way. So to all the nurses out there… Happy Nurses Week… and to everyone who is not a nurse.. if you know a nurse… take a moment and thank them . For I can assure you there are many times in their life where they put the patients in front of their family. Working long hours, working weekends, holidays.. filling in shortages… whether in the clinical arena or in the administrative side- in health care- there are times when the job holds a nurse at it and someone they care about is waiting for them to come home.

Love to all mrs justa… alias Cindy