October 2009


Halloween, a time for us to be something we are not. Maybe something we admire, something we wish we were, something spooky, something sweet. Ya never know what you will see at Halloween.

We went for our regular Saturday morning breakfast our at a local restaurant in town. There is a guy that works there who is very tall, thin and looks a little like Morgan Freeman.

About 8 months ago we were in there and an older lady at the  next table looked at him and said.. has anyone told you that you look like Morgan Fairchild.

Well quite a few of us in the restaurant got a laugh out of it, because there is a big difference between Morgan Freeman and Morgan Fairchild.

Well I had to laugh , because this morning, he had water balloon breasts, a long blond wig, gold sparkly stuff on his arms and neck, a short skirt and v neck red woman’s top on. I could not resist saying that “ now you do look like Morgan Fairchild!”

So as this is Halloween, I wonder if he did this because of that day 8 months ago?? Or if it was just coincidental the long blonde hair and sleeky outfit.

Now this restaurant in not huge- it is a rather snug fit around the table. One of the other employees came in as a ballerina. But it was an inflatable costume.

There must be a battery operated blower in the costume, and it sticks out pretty far. Every time she went to clear a table , her costume overlapped onto the table and got into the food. It was a poor choice for the environment, but a great costume. It was funny. She is not a tiny woman to begin with, and this costume really was a good choice for her. But she did not succeed in wearing it too long, while we were there another waitress had to wash off the tutu because it had gotten into dirty plates.

Halloween has opened the door for people to be imaginative.

 

I have had a few flops for costumes. image I thought they came out good– but weather made them not such a good choice. One year I got these really thick absorbent  brown towels , white felt, and made Jeff an M&M bag. his Mask was a paper plate painted with green M&M color poster paint. This was a great costume….until it started pouring. He was 7 yrs old, and the further we walked, the greened his face got ( as the poster paint ran in the rain) and the more buckled his knees got. Lets just say those towels really were absorbent.

One year – he was 5- we made him a dice.image Well is snowed that night, and he could not see where he was walking because the box stuck out so far. We were on a sidewalk in Geneva and he tripped. It was a decline- so here is this kid- arms and legs flailing as he is sliding in his box down the sidewalk. It was pretty funny- not for him. But as he looks back – I am sure he can see the humor in it now.

So be safe everyone.. and Happy Halloween. Remember at 2AM – the clocks get turned back .  Love to all… Cindy

This week has been tough. Yes trying. I was thinking of an analogy of playing ping pong with 2 people at once. Picture that, two paddles in your hands and watching 2 ping pong balls at once. I wonder how long I could actually do that. (this is from google images..)

 

In the environment I work in, the days fly by. I am not kidding you, I look at the clock and it is 3PM. This week I have been at work between 6:30-7 each morning, and not hopping back in my car till 6:- 7:20 PM. I do not feel like I just was there 12 hrs, but on the way home I begin to feel my brain start to unwind. All the information, all the different things happening, I am not quite sure how I juggle it all,… oh I find myself making some silly blurps.. like getting up on a mission- and having 2 people stop me to ask me questions, then not knowing where I was going. Gone- Zip… I need to be like this dude and have post- its on the brain. (this is from google images..)

Life is ever changing, and right now we have new business coming on which means changes, we have existing clients with amendments being added more changes… there are changes every day, ways to improve processes, or needs to change the way certain things are handled.

100_4380 As you know some people take change with a challenge. Me I find it a challenge to present it in such a way that it is not threatening or overwhelming. And I like doing it. I think I find a kinda of peace in solving potential situations before they happen. Knowing there is no set pattern, no guarantee.

Yes life is full of changes- and tonight- even though he told me I could not take a photograph of the surprise… Markie made dinner. Wow , how different to walk in the door with dinner on the table, the aroma of the food and the seasoning he experimented with, a fresh cold glass of milk… changes. That was special.. that was nice… and he did tell me it was like Halley’s comet… hee hee… I am a patient woman… I can wait for my next surprise meal after Halley comes to pay a visit to the celestial skies. But it was nice tonight. A healthy sized portioned hamburger, 1/2 a baked potato, 3 bean  salad and even a few perogies. He "done good" as he will say. Thanks Markie… it has been a tough week, and you just made it a little better.

I am not long for this evening… need to get some rest to go at it again tomorrow. ( Not complaining… just stating that this week has challenged the brain) Got my flu shot today at work… YES>>> we were worried cuz the supply is getting low. Plan to take a hot shower, my book for a bit with the YANKEES game on.. and get up early again tomorrow ….yep life is good. Love to all , Mrs justa!

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Okay I used to think this was a cool toy, one that every kid should have, one that helped kids take out frustrations and tire themselves out at the same time. But it hit me this week ( no pun on words) that I am this toy! And all angles of life are aiming for my cute red nose!

On Friday I had a little bit of trash in the car garbage can, so I thought I would throw it in the dumpster at work, as it was leaking a little. So as I opened the gate to the dumpster ,  Then BAM , the gate latch dropped down on my arm and grabbed it. YOUCH! I have a bruise that really hurts. I was just glad I had 2 layers of shirts on, or I think  it would have eaten my arm!

Then BAM Saturday a special man died, and he is the dad of someone I have known for 46 years. I feel bad for her, feel bad for her family. Sunday I spoke with her about everything she is going thru, she is a good person, it is hard to see her hurt.

Then BAM Monday, at work we find out we are getting a SURPISE visit it going to happen in 1 week by an agency that inspects every aspect of our department. AHHH it is so stressful when they come, not because we do not do everything correctly, but because it is like someone coming to visit in your home who is a neat freak, or very higher level of finances then I am. Fortunately we do audits every month, and we train and train again to be sure everyone is consistent in their determinations and processes.

BAM this morning the radio in the bathroom won’t turn on… bummer… I like to listen to it every morning as I am getting ready for work.

BAM the eye doctor talking about needing to do cataract surgery sometime in the future. ( Kinda creepy thinking about him removing the lenses in my eyes and replacing them with fake ones) What if I sneeze- would the lenses pop out?

 

( above is from GOOGLE IMAGES_ after and before surgery)

I remember taking care of pts that had this surgery done,   and if the room was dark and we were going in with our little flashlights to check the IV fluid level or see how the meds were running- if the pt was awake- their eyes glowed like a deer’s eyes at night. The doc does state that when he does it, I might not need my glasses any more… ( wow a non-BAM maybe)

BAM BAM today, checking everything, inspecting all the nooks and crannies of our every day responsibilities. BAM BAM- employees out because of flu, or sick family member, BAM seems like peoples anxieties are at a high.

BAM BAM- Mark and I used to think we were part of the “A” list of a certain few people… but we are finding out we have been bumped off the "A" list. ( You know who you are…. )Hee Hee

100_3440 BAM BAM BAM I can’t wait till tomorrow !. The anxiety at work is high, the full moon is around the corner… actually due on the day of our visitor. YIKES> BAM BAM.

I feel like I should have black and blue eyes. Watch out for my cute red nose when you wind up for the next slug. I hope your week is going better then mine !. Love to all, Mrs Justa ….

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We all are so different, yet so similar. We all have agendas of some sort, we all have goals we set forth to do. To each of us there is a reason for the goals, and to each of us we have our own levels of comfort and determination.

I found this scene just intriguing as we watched this man and his dog travel out into the bay, which was at the mouth of the ocean. It was a boat smaller then I would feel comfortable on, and a boat I imagine I would have trouble climbing in and out of. I am terrified of small boats. I wasn’t always, but one time, long ago, I was at a church camp in the Adirondacks, in April, and there was a boat like this one, and the guys were telling me to get in, you step on the side with one foot, and then swing in your other leg real quick… It was a chilly early spring day, the water crystal clear, me in a HEAVY cardigan sweater that had been my dads- I kept it after he died, it brought me comfort. Well I got the foot on the one side and the boat toppled leaving me sitting on the bottom of the lake unable to move. The comfortable sweater was holding me down. I could see everyone pointing and laughing at me, but I was stuck… Once the guys knew I was not moving they jumped in and saved me, so rest assured, I lost my Faith in those guys, in row boats, in a moment it was gone. So I know I would not copy this man and dog in a similar adventure with our dog. But what freedom they had, they do not appear to be lacking in faith.

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We all have faith in what we do, or we would not do it.

Who do you believe in?

Who do you trust?

Who do you call family?

Who is your friend?

What kind of friend are you?

This man, I felt he was grounded. If he had not other friends, this dog was his friend. He must of had faith to venture out in the water like that. I wonder if that was his livelihood? If he lived simple, and treasured moments instead of things. 100_4455

What do you treasure? What could you live without? Life is so special…. I think sometimes there are moments when we must all learn to have more  faith.

My love to all… and peace to MR Crosby, who passed on to his reward last evening. He is in a better place. A place without suffering or pain. Thanks to him for some special memories, he taught me how to have friends I did not know, and to have faith. … Love Cindy.. alias Mrs justa.

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I wish I could claim these as products of my garden, each one looking perfect yet having it’s own characteristics. Fall, pumpkins, Halloween, apples, wood burning fires, crackling of leaves , cool breezes, frost on the windows. I went by this pumpkin wagon today and the pumpkins have been replaced by those tiny squash. As I drove by this wagon I wondered what each of these pumpkins look like now. How many have the normal triangular eyes and nose carved in them with a toothy smile. How many have really spooky faces . Are some faces just drawn on the outside of the shell, so that the pumpkin could get cooked up later? 

That was what I started to do a few years back, not even carve it. Then after Halloween I still have a pumpkin to boil down and mash and freeze. It was great in pumpkin pie, having it as a dinner squash and pumpkin bread or cookies. We have not yet gotten a pumpkin, I do not know if we will. I did get a few bags of Halloween candy in anticipation of the6 kids we got last year returning. We are out in an area with no street lights, and I think some folks get spooked coming to the door. So again I will probably have a bag full of candy to bring to work.  100_4382

Fall is not long enough for me, next week is already Halloween, already November 1st. A time when I watch  the brilliant colors of the trees disappear as the trees prepare for the bitter cold winds for the next few months, the reds, yellows, oranges and purples are all turning brown, the snow tires are on, the rock salt close by, the shovel is in the doorway of the shed, the plow man ready to help us clear a way for work, scarves  and gloves will be washed and ready, boots in the front of the closet, ice scrapers and snow brooms need to be pulled from the rafters and winter coat cleaned. The cycles of life, the changes of each of us. Are you different today then you were last year at this time? Are you more pessimistic, or optimistic? Are you thinner or fatter? Are you more bitter or more compassionate? We too change. We have our seasons… Are you the best you can be? this is a good time to look in the mirror of life, see everything and see if you like what you see. Do not let life take you by the horns.. you need to take life by the horns. Peace, warmth, faith, Love Mrs Justa … alias Cindy

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Today was one filled with emotions. I mean heart wrenching, tear in the eyes emotions. I have this fire to symbolize a VERY LARGE candle for all those hurting.

First for the family whose 7 year old, beautiful little girl who was found in a landfill in Georgia. May the perpetrator burn in Hell. May the family find some sort of strength in one another and in prayer.

Then at work- bam bam bam. I felt like I was in a boxing match with people throwing terrible events in their lives at me. I feel horrible for each of these people. One person came into my cubicle, she looked pale, tired, troubled. She said.. “I want to tell you something, but I can not discuss it. I have to say it and leave.” So I said “Okay”

She said “ Tobie ( her 13 yr old dog) took a turn for the worse last night, and I had to put him down. “ Then she turned and left. BAM— I felt her pain… it sucks to have to put an animal to sleep. It will take days before she will be able to talk. I will respect her wishes and give her time. She knows I am there for her.

100_4367 Then a woman that works with me… my golly we have known each other since 1963!! She came in and sat down and very softly said. “ Dad is dying.. he has a week to live." BAM !!! Her dad is the most wonderful man I know. ( Except for Mark of course!) He was a very good business man, a compassionate man, and I have loved him for the special things he did for my family since I was 10. My dad died suddenly when I was 10. He knew my dad for only 6 weeks before he died. Yet he helped us out of compassion for years . My dad’s death left my mom with 6 kids, and no formal education. She struggled to keep us together as she went to college and earned her teaching degree. We lived on Social security. We were not wealthy at all. This girls father owned a local grocery store, and on holidays he would help my mom out by giving her some money for food, or he would assign each of us kids an isle in his grocery store, we had a certain number of minutes he gave us each a shopping a cart. HE told us we were to  get food from our designated isle – and at the end  of the isle we were to bring our cart to the front of the store- – mom always had the meat area..we met in the front  of the store and he had my mom cash out, then he signed the receipt. We were not greedy, we were thrifty and did not choose extra stuff, we were very conscientious of this gift. HE did this until my mom had her degree and was able to pay for things without a struggle. my mom was proud, and he respected that, there were so many things he did , for no other reason then he saw a need and felt good fulfilling it. So to him, I dedicate this post, and I pray his end of life will go smoothly.

100_2544 Then a third co worker came in, she has just recently moved to Syracuse from Florida, and her buddy, her 11 yr old dog, has been having trouble walking. She took her to the vets, this afternoon the vet told her the dog has bone cancer. So we wept about that too.

Boy, what a tough day for all these folks. Life was never supposed to be easy… and whew it was not today… and I am just the listener.. although I feel for them each. And for my friend whose dad is dying, he was like a dad to me in a way. Peace to all, love always, Mrs Justa…

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The little engine that could. To trust in yourself to take that next step you think is going to be hard. To have the determination to take one step at a time, knowing that you can achieve anything you set your mind to.

Brandon is meeting the walking challenge with a smile. It is funny because he will sometimes sway to the left or right, but he gets going in the right direction eventually. he is a supreme example of the will to move on.

This was in the evening after a day of not taking his naps cuz he has not been feeling very well, and he still has the smile that warms the heart.

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And little Mackenzie, she is a believer too. She has fought odds and kept on plugging. From a 2 pound baby to 6 pounds in this photo. It will be neat to see how her personality starts to come out. She can make more contortions with her face, she is very expressive.  It is hard to believe that just a year ago, Brandon was that same size.  They bring hope and faith to the surface for me. They show me the miracle of life. They remind me that life is more then work, more then chores. Life is about the children, family, love, and sharing.

100_4189 Work is really busy right now, and not going to get any less busier in the days to come. I love the people I work with, and I guess in a small way we have the same will to move on. Sometimes it is hard to do everything first… stacking things and knowing they all are important. We are faced with all sorts of challenges and first steps at work too.  I am not sure we make them with the same smile that Brandon does his steps, but we should.

Life is too short… we need to learn from the children to have that faith, that love, that thrill of taking steps. May you find peace and faith in the steps that lie ahead.

Love, Mrs justa…

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