wisdom


One of the things that the boys faamily reunion 2013 (2)did was come over to our site and use sidewalk chalk and draw on our driveway. We moved our truck down to give them room and kind of create a boundary line form the park road.

They decided to draw emergency vehicles… the top big one is a police car, the middle was an ambulance and the bottom one became a fire truck.

a little later on I needed to move the truck back up in the driveway about 5 feet. Then I was going to go in the camper and get stuff ready for dinner . The boys wanted to join me. Being the truck is pretty high up in the air, I told the boys they had to get in the truck and I would move it. ( That way I did not have to worry they were in the driveway as I moved it.)

From LONG ago— if I had a kid in a vehicle, before I closed the door I would say—“Hands on heads” ( that way the fingers were not going to be in the door frame… ) So I had the boys pop up in the truck on the passengers side and I said “Hands on heads..” I saw they were both doing that and I closed the door. faamily reunion 2013 (55)I moved quickly to the drivers side and opened the door…I had to laugh as Brandon said “ Gamma how long do we have to hold our heads?”

After taking the photo, I released them from position !!

Camping is a time to remember that you have places things go, and they need to get back in their place when you are done with them. You want to make sure what ever it is, that you have what you need and know where it is…

Like the shower stuff goes in a tote bag, you go to the shower, almost methodically take things out in a certain order, and put them back after. I was a little anal with the shower, wanting to make sure it was clean when I got in and clean for the next person. So on the tote bag, in a pocket was a spray bottle of Mr Clean and a squeegee. I really did not mind spraying it before and after, and felt that I was helping somewhat to make it more comfortable.

Now that I am on the other side of this rather weird experience… I can laugh …so here goes…..  on Weds….it was hot and humid, so I decided to wear capri pants that day. Well I  wanted to get my A.M shower and thought that I should shave my legs, so I  made sure I packed the razor—along with all the other stuff… I went over and cleaned the shower, turned on the HOT water..ahhh…. got the razor out and went about my business, when all of the sudden I felt a stinging… I cut my leg !! ( I had not done that since I was 13 !!!) So here I am… all I have is my soap, a scrunggie, shampoo, Mr Clean, clean clothes, my dirty clothes, a white towel and a squeegee. So I am frantically spraying the shower , trying to hold my leg up in mid air and press on the area, as hot water is pouring down on me, wondering how the heck I am going to get from the shower to the camper. I still had to wash my hair—so I did that on one leg- the other kinda swinging back and forth in the air, my body swaying with it…. occasionally needing to grip the wall and I am envisioning me totally loosing my balance and falling out of the shower with my less than taut wet body slapping on the floor..and who knows who would be standing there looking at me… fortunately that did not happen- . But I was still in a predicament – see if I lowered my leg it was going to bleed- so I am trying to maneuver around in this rather precarious position. I knew no one in there..and was thinking ( my mind was like a slot machine –tick tick ticking..) I am looking at my clothes, my white towel and finally came up with tying my slightly used underwear around my leg like a tourniquet and hobbling faamily reunion 2013 (16)back to the camper.  I was relieved to see I had not brought my capris there—for the underwear would have been showing as it soaked up the blood… as I walked back. It was a definite Girl Scout move !!.   I slowly dried off my body, quickly towel dried my hair, did the Mr Clean squeegee process—all as I wobbled on one leg…. then back to the camper.. Oh I can assure you that I carefully stepped ..as I did not my make shift tourniquet to fall off on the pathway… I got in the camper—and put on a rather tight band aid, shared my experience with Mark… and chuckled at the what could have beens as I rinsed out the blood…

Looking at my leg today- I am amazed my process kept it from bleeding—I did not nick it.. I skinned it about 1 1/2 inches long !!. dang !! No wonder it stung… HA.. the joys if improvising..the joys of camping…I love camping… but think my bath bag will now include band aids.. LOL.. Have a great night..more family reunion thoughts to come again soon… Love to all, Mrs Justa alias Cindy

June 2013 029Well it has been a very long while since I popped over here to this home of my thoughts. Life seems to be a little chaotic, a lot busy and sometimes full of unpredictable things.

Work is good, it is never ever boring, and very fast pace. Changes within the government on healthcare reform, changes in medical treatments and advances in current treatments and medications, it is always an opportunity to learn more new stuff.

Mark and I will occasionally go to Oswego and watch the sun set. It is so darn peaceful up there, and a place to kind of put life in a temporary hold pattern. Sunsets and the time just before them is a favorite time of day for both of us.

It is a time when the world slowly changes yet I feel I can stop.

It is a time to reflect on the day passing behind us, and planning for the day that is yet to be.

It almost feels like no matter what happened- it is a closing of a chapter and an opportunity to start a new chapter- fresh.

It is a time to relax and June 2013 042know that the bed is not too many hours away.

My days are busy, I really love my job, and the people I work with are good people. So all that together makes an environment where a day is something to look forward to doing. Have you ever been in a situation you hated? Boy the day drags, the clock seems like a minute is an hour.

I am so thankful that I have the days that fly by!.However, as the days fly by, that means the years fly by.

Our grand children are growing fast, our 1005886_10201429826646558_1989262251_n[1]little guy Brandon just had pre-k graduation! We were able to get to it, the school had it in the evening.  It was so cool to see how hard the class worked for this.They sang a variety of songs, choreographed, and one with even sign language too.

Wow next year kindergarten.

 

And this weekend our niece is graduating from high school. Gee whiz… time flies.

But fortunately as time flies, we learn lessons, we learn that things in life do not always have to matter, we learn that life is short, we learn that there is a reason for everything, sometimes it takes a lifetime to try to figure it out.

This weekend is the “Strawberry Moon” as it was referred to in the news article today. Tomorrow it is supposed to be the best night to see it. I can not wait. For somewhere in the child part of my brain, many many year ago, I found comfort in believing those who had died , those who meant something to me, that they could sit on the moon and watch over me. I refuse to let that comfort go. Tomorrow night- I will be watching the moon, waving to my mom, dad, sister and grandparents…. making loving faces to our dogs and cats…. and trying to capture the moment on film. I hope you too can see it….what ever it will look like. Lots of love to all, Mrs Justa alias Cindy

I read a book a few weeks ago and it has created all sorts of emotions and thoughts. The book was written by a survivor of child abuse. This is the cover of the book… img-thing[1]

I kid you not, it was VERY hard to read, but I was not going to stop. WHY?? Because this poor little boy..who miraculously made it through years of torture to become a man—well he could not quit from what his life was.

As I read this, my heart ached, I was so darn angry with social services and the mother… with the brothers and step dad…. 

The presentation of how things were on the outside of the house, in no way were really what was happening behind closed doors.

As I read it, I thought that most kids probably never grow up to share what they went through, to show they survived… No , I am thinking most kids would have died in the torture. The mom put on a front that the child was evil, the child was aggressive, the child was mean, the child had problems, the child was mute… AND it was easier for those on the outside to label the child instead of trying to figure out what made the child act the way he did…

I think we  do that in society.. we tend to take the easy way out. This got me to think about Riley… our dog. Riley comes home 6-29-2012 028She had such lost sad eyes when we brought her home that day from the kennel…..… She cowered when you called her, she shook and trembled if she thought she was in trouble, she had a sense of fear to her…

She had horrible separation anxiety, she panicked, she hyperventilated, she literally freaked out if we left the house.

We made comments about “That is why her previous owners abandoned her” and “She has issues.” ///But ya know what—we did not give up on her…( We almost did !!)fortunately we got thinking and  we did not just accept the way she was as a final.. That breaks my heart at the thought that we almost gave up on her.

After her 2 weeks in early winter at the K9 training camp—2 weeks of not seeing her, of her being treated well, but like a dog… she is okay now. We can leave her in the house, no crate or cage….  and go out for up to 6 hrs..she is fine. We do not have to limit her access to rooms.. she is a calmer dog…. , and seems more controlled  now.. It was what her previous owners did to her that made her how she was… not that she was bad.

She is a sweetheart… she loves to be with us,she is GREAT with people and the grandkids….. she is playful….  but now it is ok when we leave. She goes to doggie playcare 1 day a week, and they say she darts around for the entire time, frolicking, running.. non stop.

How many kids…. how many pets… have we as a society let down? Why… because it was easier to say they had the problem… than to figure out what made the behavior….. easier than to try to fix it…

yep, that book will live with me for a very long time… And Joe Peters’…. wherever you are…. I am so sorry for the let down you must have felt over and over again.and thank you for sharing this …. it really opened my eyes…

Love to all… Mrs Justa alias Cindy

100_4383 - CopyI read something today..it kind of has locked itself in the front of my mind. It is about retirement and it said that retirement is when we stop living for work..and we work on living. I read that and thought wow.. We do live for work!!! for most of our lives. Alarm clocks, clothes to wear, appropriate answers to give, dodging traffic, commuting, paying tolls and in many peoples cases paying extra auto insurance because of distances driven. We look forward to Friday nights because Saturdays are not work days, and than hustle on Sunday evenings to get ready to go back to work.

When I worked on the hospital floor my “Saturdays and Sundays” were any day of the week. But it was the same. A breath of ahhh ..to know a day was off..and than a time of hustle bustling around because work is about to start again.

I am having trouble imagining what life would be like without work. For me, I totally love what I do at work, yet I do wish there were more hours in each day so I could do stuff with the grandkids, take the dog to the dog park, camp more. So maybe that means I am beginning to evolve into the retirement mind set… so maybe by the time I am ready to retire, I will be thinking in that direction.

Retirement to me seems scary. Having bills, and health needs, and insurances, and fuel… having taxes, and unknowns… yes that seems scary without any working  income coming in. Social Security for over 65 yr olds is not great, and in our days of youth..there was not savings accounts created for the retirement years. SO ti will be winging it.

I laughed tonight as I was eating a bowl of cereal for dinner and thinking this might end up being dinner when I am retired!.

A good friend of mine is retiring this Friday. She told me she was scared. I guess as I try to personalize it for me… I would be scared too.I have years to go, but she has days. Some day my years will be changed to days. What will life be like than> What will the future hold? Unknowns….and I know I am not independently wealthy, so I know it will be tight. It just is not what I thought getting older would be like.

First I thought I would feel old.. I DO NOT>>>

I thought I would feel wise…. I DO NOT>>>>

I thought I would be like my mom was to me when she was my age… but I do not feel that way. I still feel like I wish my mom and dad were here..hmmm. I wonder now…. if they felt this way..but I never knew it.

I hope this finds you well, I am off to get ready for bed and play a few words with friends on facebook. Smile Love to all, Mrs Justa alias Cindy

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My life… I sat on the floor in the corner of this room, looking for something specific. And to my surprise I found much more than I intended to. The bottom two shelves are the photos and music of my life….

I was looking for a picture of a lady I work with. She is retiring in a couple of weeks and this photo was from when I met her, back in 1989. She oriented me to hospital nursing. She and I have had our paths cross for years on end, and then for a bit we may work in different places..but we never lost contact.. And times along the way we end up back in the same place again. She is a special lady. As I looked for this one photo I ran across my life. Things that have been pigeon holed in places in my mind.

It is funny how a photograph can bring you back to that year. It can make you remember a smell, or a breeze, or a sense of wonder . It brings back a feeling of being special, or discovering a place you had never been to before. It also can bring back a feeling of loss, or pain. It reminds you of relationships, of stages of youth, of people who have left this temporary home on earth to go to their destination. It kind of reminds us we are alive.

To relive these moments, to watch my little guy and Marks little girl grow up in photos. To  see their kids growing up… 100_3398

To realize that even thought it seems the years have flown by..those photo albums on the lower 2 shelves represent miles of life’s highway. The whale watches, the camping trips, the mini vacations Jeff and I took, the whale watches that Jeff ,Mark and I went on, the seemingly endless precious weekends that Jeff and Adrianne got to share with us, the evolving of my family from me being a baby to having all my brothers and sisters, smiles, reunions, marriages, births and deaths. All in-between sunsets and sunrises..each one different.

A100E0347nd as I soaked in the memories as they came to life.. I thought about how lucky we are to live in this country. The unrest in other parts of the world.. I wonder if these people have good memories. Have they stopped to see the beauty of the world? My heart says they have missed a lot of the soft sides of life… for they carry around such anger and hatred.

Yes … my journey through time that has been, it has  reminded me that I have been truly blessed. I thank God for that, over and over again.

I hope you have memories of your life captured somewhere. Stop and take a moment to remember. Good night all. Mrs Justa alais Cindy

100_0244This past weekend we were driving into Phoenix NY. It was Sunday and it was rather hot and humid out. As we drove towards the village there is a stretch of road with really nothing there. Overgrown edges to the road, street signs stating the speed limit is still 30 and warning folks not to park on the side of the road. And this morning something else….

an elderly woman, standing with a straight posture, holding onto the handle of a fairly good size Aqua suitcase on wheels and her purse laying on top of the suitcase. She stood at tis sign..just stood there. As Mark and I drove by her..well there was absolutely no sense why she was there. She did not look like she had been thrown out of a car, or was moving..just standing at this sing on the side of the road in a section of nothing.

So as soon as we could turn around, we did and pulled to the side of the road. I walked up to her and asked if she was okay? She smiled a rather pretty smile..and said “Oh yes dear, I am waiting for the bus to go the State Fair”  I told her the state fair bus stop is down towards the village..over the bigger bridge that goes over the river..just before the draw bridge for the Erie Canal. 100_0246She went on to tell us that she was living in her grandfathers house in Phoenix, helping to clean it out. And than she told us her grandfather was fighting in Iran. She said her father was in Afghanistan. She said she has been caring for 24 different refuges who come over to the states and spend time with her. She said she wanted the state fair bus because no other buses would be running, only the state fair one.

Mark asked her why she had her suitcase if she was going to the fair. She avoided the question 4 times and than said she was a teacher ad the suitcase was all her lecture material She used it with the refuges when they came. Her speech seemed to ramble at times, her eyes looked glassed over and empty at times. She did not want a ride and was heading to the bridge to go to the area where the bus came.

On our way passed her starting her walk, we stopped and let a Park Police know that we were concerned about her. She just did not seem totally coherent. And now… 3 days later.. I am wondering about her. Did she get on the bus? Did the police officer speak to her, maybe call for someone to come and assess her? Is she safe?

This world seems small at times.. I get so focused on what we have going on in our lives..and sometimes witnessing something like this..it makes it so apparent how the 100_0022world is massive. A person can get lost in the system, lost in the background. I believe this woman was suffering from a dementia disorder of some sort. It was almost like she was in a time in her mind 30 yrs prior. My goodness her grandfather in Iran would be in his 100s at least. People like this woman could fall , go into the river, hop on a bus and not know where she was going, …how many people in the world are going through things just like this?

She made my mind stop for a moment from worrying about what we had to do… she made me appreciate life. God bless this woman… and the man I wrote of a few posts ago..and so very many other who need strength and protection. Love to all Mrs Justa..

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I am not a politician, never wanted to be one, never really felt the need to do anything but maybe support one I felt strongly about.

As we enter the next 2 months of “How nasty can one get over the other” I am looking to buy earplugs and blinders when the political personal attacks start. If one starts playing dirty and the other stays above the line of trash talk..than does the other get credited for being admirable or criticized that all the trash talk must be true –because they are not coming back and defending the insults.

To me, in my one person mind… we need government that will not support continuous hand outs. I do believe unemployment benefits should be available as people get back on their feet, heck they have paid into that insurance in case they ever need it. I personally had to benefit from unemployment once in my life. But we need not have more ways of extending the unemployment checks for  the 23 million people unemployed and growing… we need to be supporting these 23 million ( and more) people by being a country where employment is available.

I find that the government seems to be focusing on more ways to print money , increase debt, to help those who are not working. And some of the reason there are 23 + million unemployed people – in my humble opinion is because we have given those jobs to people in other countries. I have heard thru various articles and reports that our government ( a couple years back) was going to have more people building roads, fast trains, bridges—and THAT will help us put people back to work. Well that would help all the 24 + yrs olds with college degrees living in the same 10×10 room they grew up in. But what about the 40, 50 and 60 year olds that thought they had a job through retirement..only to find themselves on the curb with an “Out of business” sign on the door of the place they thought was their home away from home.

I look at how far in debt we are,Oswego NY  6-11-12 014 I see media of all sorts stating  we just need to do another 4 yrs with this administration, I look at people who have  almost 30 something kids that are still living in their homes, and I am thinking THIS IS NOT THE AMERCIAN DREAM!! Each person in their 20s with the feeling of there is  no job to take, no where to go… living at home… having meals, insurance, clothing provided for them.. what happens at age 27 ?? 
They are still at home, still have food and life’s essentials provided..and we the government have supplied more a pathway to show them how to accept others providing for your life..than you providing it for yourself. By 27—most investors would be recommending that these people should be well on their way to prepare for their retirement. And yet instead of contributing to the social security funds, instead of having their own 401 K accounts, instead of having their own place… they are the same place they were when they were 13 yrs old.

I wonder what happened to journey of growing up and when you are in your early teens to be looking forward to 15 … cuz you can go and get a job… or 18 because you could vote..and have a job (or 2 or 3) and GET YOUR OWN PLACE!! I dreamt of that., my mind was filled with how neat it would be to move out on my own. Oh and that first night away from the bedroom of my life… cooking on a stove that is new to me, deciding if breakfast was going to be a hamburger… and having desert before dinner…to not have anyone tell me it was time to go to bed…to chose my pathways and know that at the fork in the road it was the consequences of my choice that got me there. TO have my own mailing address, bank account, bills, mail box…. NOT once did I long for living under my moms roof for years on end. A parents home should be one that is there in a bind..but not for a life time. TO move back into a parent’s home— it is to get back on your feet… and within a few weeks… a move to your new destiny.

The 20 something  people are our future. So we have one politician going to college campuses—filled with many people who will be moving back home…. telling the kids to vote for me that party again—because if you do not—well you may lose your health insurance…or you may lose this or that. Yet not letting them know that the job they dream of is now being filled by someone in another country.

How about instead of instilling fear of what you Won’t have..maybe instilling hope for jobs and self sufficiency….and assurance that they too can live the American Dream .

I find it maybe back in  finance 101 that to save money you need to make money. Look at all the countries we are helping financially..and what money are they putting back into our pockets? Than  look at those same countries and see if they have people marching around shouting they hate the USA.
Yes I am frustrated with the way it is now..and I am hoping that we end up with strength in the White House to help take the trillions upon trillions in debt and turn it around..to help businesses stay in America, and put people back to work. I am looking, desiring and praying for a change.

Peace to all, I hope today “LABOR DAY” means something more to you than a day off.

Love Mrs Justa alias Cindy

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