life


As today comes into being it is another year to stop and say thanks to dad. Dad can be a step dad, a mentor who was like a dad to us, a friends dad,, and our own dad.

me and my dadI was thinking about dad, and the memories I have of him. He was alive for the first 10 years of my life, and in those 10 years, I remember him holding my hand, I remember his talking to me, I remember him coming home from a week of being away as a traveling salesman.

I do not remember who mowed our yard, and I faintly remember him reprimanding me when I needed it.

I remember drives with him to my accordion lessons, him calling me princess and his words of wisdom. I remember when he was there, I felt safe, the universe was aligned.

I remember every night he was home he tucked me in bed, he read me a story when he was home, and he said he loved me.

And I remember a breakfast I made for him, burned toastPam and I did it. The toast was beyond burned, the inside was actually brown, we felt bad we burnt his toast. He said “this is how I like it” He bit each piece, crunching it with his dentures, and smiling. He ate the whole piece. Thanking us for the lovely breakfast.

It was the little things, the walks, the talks, the hugs, the kisses goodnight- the lessons in life- the things not seen, but felt. Those moments, I am so glad I had, for they relive in my mind over and over again, they bring me comfort.

Happy Father’s Day Dad, I loved you then, I love you now and I will love you when I too join you again.

Until later, Mrs. Justa alias Cindy

I remember a very long time ago, a time when my mom was helping me each step along the way as she taught wrong and right. At a very young age, I found that I should fess up with the things I had done. At the age of 4 ( almost 5)  is when I remember a lie I told. We were at a new house in a new state. The house sat atop a hill, and the driveway up to the house ( at least in my 4 yr old impression) was like a mountain road.

The driveway had 2 openings, as there was a hill on the property, so if you were coming from one direction, there was an entrance as you crested the hill, and coming from the other direction you could enter the loop driveway before the top of the hill.

I was a child who was blessed with having a stay at home mom. Which also meant I was a child who did not know life being away from mom. It was my first day of getting the bus for kindergarten. Mom had a toddler in the house. So I had the responsibility to walk down the driveway and wait for a bus. We had had a dry run before that day, and I remember mom taking me down the driveway pretending it was my first day. Now it was me and the bus, and my mom watching from a window.

I remember being frightened and scared, but not letting mom know that.

back bus education school

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I was going to get on this bus, and not be with my mom, I remember fighting back tears. AS the bus was seen from afar- way down Rte 20, I remember seeing a tree, a pine type tree. And in a moments notice, my body took off and hid in the welcoming arms ( branches) of the tree.

Mom saw the bus stop and assumed I had gotten on it. I did not. When the bus left, I remember crying, cuz I knew I should have gotten on it, yet I was too scared to. So I unwrapped myself from the protecting branches of the tree, and trudged up the driveway and went in the house.

Mom was not pleased, and I was crying. I told her the bus would not wait for me.

This was lesson one on lying… she kept grilling me in her oh so gentle fashion until I finally went into a sobbing mode and confessed what I did. It was then, once I could absorb her wisdom and lesson in life #5000, ‘ the lesson was that we should not lie. If we are caught in a lie, we end up with people never believing us, or having a less then pure trust of us. ( I have to admit, I did have to be taught that lesson a few times more in my very young years) but I learned that I should always face every situation truthfully and right on.

For this incident, well I delayed my first day of kindergarten by a day. Mom called the bus garage and spoke to someone and explained what I had done,  and mom walked me to the bus stop the next day, a toddler in one hand and a 4 yr old child in the other hand, and she spoke to the bus driver, and from then on. I was a kindergartener bussed to school. The bus driver was so nice to me, let me sit close to the front, as I knew no one and even was new to our house and the town.

Mom was wise, she did trial runs with me, and she felt confident I would be okay, I realize that. I think she herself was surprised to see that all she thought would go smoothly, well I had a plan of my own.

Lesson eventually learned, be honest, be trustworthy, and know that every action has a reaction, every word, every motion, there is a cause and effect. That choices we make are just that, choices WE make. We own our emotion, we own how things make us feel.

So as I am about to enter a new day, a new weekend, I say… Until later, Mrs Justa alias Cindy

 

 

Today is the birthday of a woman who has a special place in my heart. She is a woman I call “mom2”. a woman I do not think I ever have seen without a smile on her face, no matter what. She is a woman who has enriched so many lives in her days on this earth, a woman I have admired since I first met her many many years ago. She used to laugh at my craziness, give me advise when I needed it, never judged me and never made me feel anything but respected, understood and loved.

This made me start to ponder. Life is something we have, it is here , it is now20190413_180939. What do you love in life? Not what obstacles are on your path, but what do you love about life? I can get weighed down with all the negative bits of life, or I can focus on the positive things. I chose each day to focus on what brings me peace, helps my soul to smile, and my heart to feel full.

I totally love my faith and belief in things I know are, but I can not prove it. I love my husband, I love my family, I love to take pictures, I love to sing, I totally love cleaning the house, the smell of fresh laundry, fresh cut lawns and freshly baked bread. I love my truly good friends, helping a child explore the world,  and reading to a child. I like to cook, I like to take walks, I like to look for things that are all around us, but we often do not see. I love walking in the rain, I feel blessed when I see a rainbow. img_3723I loved being a mom, I love the plans in my head.  I love spring and sunsets, and being on a mountain top. Going to sleep with the sounds of the ocean slapping the sandy shore.

Every day is one day closer to the next chapter in life, and one day further from the first chapter in life. What tomorrow will be, I am not going to let myself worry about it, instead, I focus on what today is. I am humbled by peoples kindness, and try to turn away from people’s negativity. We need to not get so wrapped up stuff, that we lose focus of the todays.IMG_0676 - Copy

So today, I hope that you find a burst of positivity, a sunray , actually see a rain drop, I hope you find goodness.

Enjoy life, and turn any darkness into brightness.  Until later, Mrs Justa alias Cindy

 

This morning I read a passage in Matthew, “Come to me all who are burdened, and I will give you rest.” That is pretty heavy, extremely comforting and inspiring.100_0308

It made me think of life, and of Mother’s Day, and about my Mom. Those 3 letters mean more than words can ever express. Mom, a person who was there always, as I aged, she never was not there, she never once turned away from me, she never once made me feel anything but worthy, special and even in the worse times as I grew up, she was my rock.

She tackled incredible odds, and raised 7 children, ( as my sister Karen was only 7 when mom married dad. She had times in her life where she was faced with tough times, and through it all, if I ever needed that pillar to hold me up, if I ever needed wisdom, if I ever was in the darkest areas of life, she was a beacon, and when I focused on that light in the darkness, when I set my compass on that light, It was Mom waving the lantern of life, she was there.

Now I can not always say she had approval for situations, however she had strength and a way to teach lessons, a way to help me find the next step to take. SHe had times often of “tough love” wherein situations I would have liked to run from, she stood next to me and helped me face them

Mom had the ability to let “things go” 20190128_072245that were material; that were “busy jobs” and tasks, and could shuffle the clutter of life and make time for me ( for us). Dishes, vacuuming, laundry, organizing would never have priority over time needed to talk, to support to inspire. There never was a time when she did not have time to put the tea kettle on, brew some cups of tea, and share a cookie and her unending, uncanny ability to enrich my life.

There were many winding paths, many of life intersections where there were too many choices of which direction to turn, and many special moments that meant so much to share, she was the person I knew would always be there. And it is so comforting to know….

She is still here, her spirit lives within the precious moments of my life, and way to often I do not stop to think more about how incredible she was, so this morning, as her spirit is filling my heart, my soul, I say Happy Mother’s Day Mom, without you … well, I would not be. Happy Mother’s Day Mom,  Until later, Mrs Justa alias CIndy

I have heard in the past, actually my whole life, and read this little piece of wisdom this morning on worrying.

We need to focus on the now, for if we are worrying about the future, about things that may or may not happen, IMG_0458we are burning our todays, we are wasting those precious moments on our walk through life.

I can be a worrier, I can be a person who is looking at different scenarios trying to prepare for things that never may happen.

I am much better now than I was years ago, but it is so easy to get sucked into the worry vortex. Now I believe there is a part of life where we need to think about the consequences of actions we do, things we say. So I am not proposing to go charge our credit cards to the max and spend to the max today, because we know on the scheduled billing day of the month that bill will be here.

I am thinking about the worries of things we have no idea even if they will ever come to be.

brown fern plant near trees

Photo by Northwoods Murphy on Pexels.com

There are so many folks who now, (because of the ease of social media, of 24 hr news talk shows, of  podcasting and YouTubing— )not only have they taken the worry talent to a new level for them, but they share the worrying with anyone who hears, reads or sees their public presentation of negative/ worry stuff.

As they predict the doomsday type scenarios, the dark maybes of the future, what they are doing is totally wasting the moments we are facing now. Life is never guaranteed to have no problems, no heartaches, no losses. There is a difference in knowing every moment will not be sunshine and lollipops and rainbows…. and worrying about those moments when the darkness seems to engulf us.

So once again, I am reminded to be still, IMG_0406to enjoy this moment, and stand tall, knowing when the not so good stuff happens, it is just a part of life. Bad times only pave the way to better times. We need to look towards the light, in those seemingly darker moments. Worrying does nothing but rob us of our moments in time, our moments to see the light.                                   Until later, Mrs Justa alias Cindy

Springtime, it is like a reward for making through the darker days, t20190120_114109he cold and blowing snow, the chilly nights and cracked skin. Winters are a lot of work, a lot of endurance, and every single year it feels like Springtime is our prize for enduring the previous 4-5 months.

Slowly as we turn the clocks ahead, as we have more light in our days, I slowly feel like I too come into a rebirth. I feel more alive if that makes any sense. I am not a depressed person, however, my mood is lower ebb as the winters continue to go on and on.

As the warmed evenings come to be, so do evening watching of sunsets, and coffee on the deck, and being able to sit and watch the water.

Today I left a tad early for church because we were looking for a  replacement ring for us to use on our patio glass table top. The one that came with the table had cracked after being in the sun for 2 seasons. So I wanted to check a few hardware stores on the way. After my journey was successful, I went over to the water, camera in hand, because I had some time before church.

I like to sit and contemplate on nothing, in particular, it is more of a recharging of my soul. I am always amazed as how many blessings are laid img_3750-1in front of us if we just look. A time to reflect on the previous minutes day and months of life. As I sat there I had a “friend” arrive, some living being that trusted me…

As I looked at this Canadian goose, as I looked at its face, its eyes, I wondered, do they think about life. What do other creatures “think” about. What are they pondering? Do they ponder? He ( or she) just stayed there, looking like it was contemplating something. Or was it recharging its soul, as I was mine? Was it wondering if humans ponder?

I think it is important to take time in our day to stop and be, to just be. Oh, the hectic lives that everyone has, the many opportunities that can fill our days, our nights, our every second of existence— they can take us away from just being.

20190413_180939-e1555265985231.jpgMy wish for you is to remember to just be still for a few moments a day- stop and observe what unfolds before your eyes, take a short walk, sit on a park bench, stare are the trees, the sky, at the water,  at raindrops, at snowflakes, sunrises or sunsets, at whatever is where you are at. Give yourself permission to absorb the world around you. It really is refreshing, regenerating and a gift you can give yourself for nothing, a gift that is worth everything.

Until later, Mrs Justa alias Cindy

 

 

I am not quite sure what it is about the waves, but they are cleansing to me. They are so powerful, they make me realize our problems can be looked at in many ways. They make me remember that my existence is such a tiny part of the whole picture we call life.

We went up to the lake the other day, as the winds were fairly strong and the waves were having a fun time splashing anything that came in their path. The rolling of the waves is neat, no 2 waves are the same, the roar of them, the evolving of them from a thought, to existence, to gone.

As I stood in that very cold wind, with Mark img_3729and the seagulls around me , as we were watching the majestic side of life. We watched and heard the water as it brought sounds to normally a much quieter place.

It made me think about me, I am so much like a calm lake, I very rarely make a peep, it is like my brain is swarming with thoughts but they stay there.

I am mostly pretty passive, but also very loyal to my life, my husband, our true friends and family. I am a helper and lend calming hands when needed. Like the calmness of the lake.

There are img_20190403_184817those people in life though that are more like the crashing waves. Loud, seemingly angry, in a rush, and never stop to absorb the world around them. They preach doom and gloom and basically do not seem to realize the blessings life has provided. They come and go so fast it is like a blur. Those people I feel anxious around, unnerved, and far from peaceful.

That is probably why I enjoy the quiet of my life. I may have bumps along the road, but we work them out. Life is not full of problems, it is how we handle the challenges of life that count. We can be loud and bold, or we can analyze the situation quickly and do the best we can. For in life there is good and bad… the bad and the good of life interchange, the way we handle it is more what is important. This seagull reminded me of that…

There was a img_3728pretty big wave coming into shore and it was headed to get me and the seagull in front of me rather wet.  I stepped back. To my amazement, the seagull jumped straight up so it did not get splashed and then went right back down. Like it was on a trampoline.

AS I walked back to the car, I thought about life, and that seagull represented how I believe I need to continue to look at life. A problem comes, it is just that a problem. Take a proverbial leap, and handle the problem and move on to the next minute of life.

Yep… do not drown in troubles, look for the good. until later, Mrs Justa alias Cindy

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