A Special Time Now Added To Our Memories

This is long overdue, it has been 3 months since I wrote anything on this and yet thoughts run through my mind continuously. I tell myself I need to get a post in, and poof another day, week month go by.

This weekend we are finally feeling recovered from a 2 + week trip . I don’t quite understand why we feel so kind of out of it when we get back, but we do. We left here April 11 and headed to Virginia Beach for a week. We had rented a condo that was maybe 500 feet from the boardwalk, so it was close to walk to, yet not “oceanfront”. It was a nice week as far as weather went, our condo was on the 9th floor, so we could see above a lot of buildings and watch as life flowed to and fro. The weather was warm for the most part, 70s during the day and high 50s to 60 at night. The resort had 2 elevators, one that was under repair for our first 5 days there. That made traveling 9 floors rather testing of ones patience, as everyone on all the floors knew when it stopped, regardless of if it was going up or down, you want to get on it . There was one time I bet 20 people came out of the elevator on the first floor.On Weds afternoon elevator 2 was up and running and boy what a difference.

Even with the long waits, we really enjoyed or stay. We walked the boardwalk , we walked the sand beach one day, went to the Virginia Beach Aquarium and took a Dolphin excursion.

All of our journeys were very enjoyable. I had not spent much time in Virginia beach in the past, and found it to be like 2 different cities. During the day is was kind of quiet, but at night time it livened up with restaurants and cafes drawing in people and outdoor musical events, and groups of people just laughing and enjoying life as they strolled the sidewalks.

Through it all, I was once again reminded that I am not as young as I was once, and each step is precious. The one time I was reminded was when we had gone down to the pool and jacuzzi one afternoon, and the steps into the jacuzzi had some sort of very slippery film on them. I carefully put one leg down the first step,( not knowing of this slippery film, I was deliberately hanging onto the railing, only to have that foot slip down 2 more steps, while my other leg was still up on the deck. All I can say is that’s the first time I ever did a perfect split, yep legs totally straight out. I asked Mark to hand me my shower shoe, I carefully reached down and put it on the flying foot, then the other foot, and somehow got my hips and legs realigned to the position they are normally in. The water was refreshing, and surprisingly I recuperated without too many muscle pains after a couple of days.

The next week we headed to OBX ( The Outer Banks) , which was year 2 of sharing a week with Jeff, Amanda, and the 3 grandkids at a home on the ocean.

Surprisingly the weather was cooler that next week, but that did not stop the magic of the waves as they slapped against the shore, or the incredible moments shared with everyone. Jeff and Amanda arranged for professional photos to be done down there, and it was such a neat experience to see how the photographer worked to make the hour photoshoot so much fun. Every evening was family game night, where we battled each other in a variety of games. We were there to see the April Pink full moon which was totally neat! The house had a recreation room where many shuffleboard battles occurred. There was a pool and hot tub, of which I did take a soak in the hot tub, it was a cold evening and the water felt soooo refreshing. And I didn’t have to display another Olympic split !

During the day we each separated for a bit and explored areas that interested each of our family units, and we joined together later in the day. It seemed like the week flew by , yet it also was so many treasured moments that could not have happened without a week.

Family is important and in this world of virtual communication and tight schedules, it seems like the personal touch and communication ties become lost in virtuality. It is so much easier to send a text and let the person read it in their convenience then to pick up the phone and speak to one another. I am guilty of that , I don’t want to bother anyone if they are busy, so I shoot out a text. Life seems to sometimes get lost in our to dos and it’s easy to lose touch of what is really important, relationships and communication, sharing of ones time, sitting and talking without worrying about where to be.

So weeks like this are so nice. Mark and I enjoy the apartment life, but when we travel it is different, as we are both headed to a common ground, to unknowns, to see what we run across along the way.

I have to remember to cherish every moments, for there are so many more in my rearview mirror then what lies ahead on my road of life.

Be good to one another, take a deep breath before you speak, be kind and until later , take care. ! Mrs Justa alias Cindy

 

My Sister , My Light

I have been remembering so many things in my life that have helped me get to where I am today. There are so many people, so many events, so many great times and so many not so proud of times. Times of smiles and times of tears. Through them all, no matter how near or far, there has always been my oldest sister Karen.

Karen smiling up at me when I was one

Karen was 10 when I was born.As long as I can remember, she was someone I totally cherished, someone who always had a hand to hold, a smile, a comforting feeling for me. There have been many years where we have been miles apart in distance, but she never was far away in my heart, my mind, my being.

I can remember Karen looking after me, guiding me and sharing special moments. She would hold my hand to keep me safe, and she may not have ever realized that I would think often I wanted to be like her.

We initially lived in Bridgeport Conn. for the first 4 1/2 yrs of my life. She was 8 when my parents married, my father was a widower, from what I understand Karen’s mom had died as a result of an accident. Karen had 2 brothers that were older than Karen, and through this bond of marriage,  I not only had brothers and sisters from my mom and dad’s marriage, but we had immediately 3 older siblings, all who are loved and cherished. My mom and dad had 7 additional children from their bond in marriage, one died shortly after birth, the rest of us helped to make up a family of nine brothers and sisters.

I remember many times if anyone told us that our 3 oldest siblings and the 6 of us were “stepbrothers and sisters’  that my mother and father would immediately tell us there are no “step” brothers or sisters” in our family, we are all brothers and sisters and to never ever forget that. And to this day, I cherish each one of my siblings.

Karen was someone I thought always had it together. Oh I am sure there are times when she was in trouble for one thing or another, but never in my eyes.

This is in 1957/1958. Karen holding Pams hand, and I am in the striped dress

As we grew up, we moved to Skaneateles for a few years. Our dad was a traveling salesman and was gone a few days during the week. My mom was pregnant a lot during the first 10 yrs of my life. As early school-age kids, we had responsibilities that helped mom. It was just what life was about.

We lived at 3 different houses, the first on was on a hill on Rte 20, I remember the water was not always good for drinking.  Karen, my sister Pam ( who was one yr older than me) and I would help out by getting water for our family. We would each take thermoses down the hill to a gas station to fill them with water. Pam was 6 at the time, I was 5. I remember Karen helping with the heavier thermos and making sure we walked as far off the highway as possible. It was down the hill, and as a five-year-old, it felt like miles from the house to the gas station, but it wasn’t. It was our drinking water, mom had a baby already and was pregnant for another child, so it was what we did.

We moved to Spafford about a year later, and instead of our walks for water,

In Spafford, Karen, Pam, Peter and me

we would sometimes walk to the “Fescos” dairy farm and get milk from there. We had these aluminum containers, they too got heavy for a now 6 and 7-year-old, but again Karen protected us, made it something that we accepted, we just knew we needed to help out that way. I can’t say how often we did that, as when dad was home, mom would try to have errands done and have us set for another week till he came home. He would be home on Thursday nights, go back out Friday and usually home on the weekends.

We were in Spafford for about 1 1/2 yrs, and we moved to our final Skaneateles house, it was on Elizabeth Street, another rental home, this one was closer to the village, so we had milk delivered by the local dairy company. We had sidewalks and Karen would walk us to the village for a movie, or to the lake or to the ice cream parlor. In this last house, Karen was now in high school, she had a boyfriend ( David) and she was still the person I admired, I cherished, I wanted to be like her. I never remember Karen as being negative. She was always warming the room with her smiles. She was so great with each of us as we continued to increase in numbers. I this last house we now had Pam and me, plus my brothers Peter and Tom, and when we were living on  Elizabeth Street Melanie was born into the family too. Needless to say, my mom always had babies and tiny ones in the first 10 yrs of my life. Karen was my rock, my light.

Karen graduated from high school and had gone into nursing school at Crouse School of nursing in Syracuse. I cherished nursing because that was what she did, and I think her compassion and her comfort to me through the years, she showed me through her actions how to want to care for people too. I knew as I continued to grow that I wanted to be a nurse like Karen.

I am sure for Karen, there were sad times, with her mom dying, and then adjusting to lifes changes when her dad married my mom. My mom told me often she wanted to be there for Karen, to be as close to her mom as she could be, that she loved Karen from the first time she met her.

Now 66 years of life later, 66 years of having Karen in my life, I have to say that I admire her as much now as I did as a small child. Her faith is amazing. Her love and devotion to her husband are deeper than words can express. Her love for each of her children, their families, her grandchildren are unending, deep, real. She loves her church family, she loves her brothers and sisters, nieces and nephews, their spouses and all the children within the family units.

Sure she has had bumps along this journey of life, we all have or will have. However, not once have I not cherished her, not thought of her, not remember times with her,  she has been my anchor, my light, my sister.

She is incredible even when the odds are strong. She has fought stage 4 pancreatic cancer for 2 plus years and is now in Hospice. Even though all of this, she is able to smile, able to share moments of laughter, and moment of quiet.

I feel so fortunate for any time we share, and this past week was able to share 1 1/2 days in Niagara Falls. A place that means a lot to her and her husband Tim,  a place Mark and I love to go to too. We got to sit by the fall, to absorb the magic of the dramatic wonder of the falls. We were able to share times of quiet, times of talking, times of laughing and creating more memories that will last for a long long time.

 

 

 

 

 

So this post, this is dedicated to one incredible lady, to our sister…. Karen.                              I have lived a life that she has always been a part of, near or far, always close to my heart. With love, with gratitude, I sign off for now. Mrs. Justa alias Cindy

 

 

Not Just a Dog

I have to tell you, I feel bad for those who have never been loved by a dog, who have never loved a dog. For a good part of my life, a dog has helped to make me whole. I truly believe, in my life, no other living being has ever been as faithful, trustworthy, compassionate and loving than a dog.

I have had a number of dogs, various breeds, various sizes. Each and everyone had a personality of their own, and if given attention and watching them, their lack of words does not lessen their amount of communication. They are silly, they smile, they do strange things, they fill the heart and soul with a love that is unmeasurable and irreplaceable.

I have never 100% of the time had a person greet me at the door with so much excitement and joy. Never once was a dog sitting at the door with a scowl, or a “And where were you this late” attitude that I would get from a parent at times. I have never had a better friend, never had another show unbiased acceptance for who and what I am, never felt as whole as I have in the times shared with our dog.

A dog is there when you hurt when you are sick and when you are just being. And a dog protects those who love it, to make sure danger stays as far away as possible.

I feel bad for those people who have never shared the time with a dog. It is so easy to walk past the dog journeys on the road of life, and honestly, it leaves a person without the “inconvenience ” of having a dog. They can pound their proverbial chests and have so many reasons why they don’t like dogs, do have dogs and would never live with a dog.

A dog is not okay to be beaten or abandoned, it is not ok to lock them up and let them come out for meals, they are not JUST A DOG. If a person can not take in 100% of what a dog really offers, what a gift a dog can be, well those people should never have one.

To me, a dog is not meant to be left outside, in a caged area or tied on a chain, why would I have a dog just to make it an outside animal? Some say their dogs have thick coats and love the cold, okay– I think that perhaps those people should put on their own heavy coats and share that outside environment with that dog.

Sure you can live without a dog, and you think you aren’t missing anything because of that, unfortunately, those people will never experience the unconditional love a dog gives. They won’t know the void a dog can fill, for me…. my life has been better with a dog in it.

A dog is a responsibility, a step taken knowing there are costs for caring, feeding, and nurturing. If a person is not willing to give all the care to a dog, they should not make that step. For me, for each dog that has filled my love with so much, there is no price, no amount of money that can match how much better my life is because of them.

I also can say that when a dog has had to die, the void, the soul riping loss ( for me) has been worse than the severe feeling of loss of a loved one. With that being said, a passing of a loved one goes on and on, and it feels like the world should stop as you take it all in.

The passing of a dog, it is different. It is so heart wrenching, and it can be days to not cry at a dog commercial, or looking at a photo or belonging of the dog, yet the footprints in my soul are treasured.

 

For me, I am so thankful to have known the various dogs in my life. Each one has been inside the house, protected from the elements. Each ones short life ( compared to our lives) has given more than I could ever have given back. If you truly watch a dog, you find so many neat qualities, neat personalities, and realize why dog is God spelled backward. A dog is not “Just a dog” and more than a person is “Just a ___”

I am going to get ready to venture into work. Our dog has come in and nudged her nose on my leg to say good morning, she has had her breakfast and gone out, and now she is in sleeping with her dad, watching over him as he sleeps his last little while before araising to a new day. She reminded me how great it is to have her in our home, in our hearts, and a part of our family.

Love to all, Until later, Mrs Justa alias Cindy

 

 

 

Being a Buoy

We are all different, some quiet, some are known when they are in the presence of others, and some are darn right annoying because their behavior is that they are the only one that matters.

I wonder what makes us be the way we are. I was thinking about me, if I had to look for something I am like, I find a buoy is probably that best description. Buoys are just there, they can provide safety to alert of danger, they do not cause harm, they are pretty simple and bob along as the world goes by calmly, or thrashes around me.

As I bob through every minute of my life- going forward and for the minutes that have  gone by, I watch, I observe, I say few words, and if the waters are calm, I am still… if the waters are rough I tip back and forth, look like I might lose my purpose, but in the end, I am still there.

Birds can perch on me, a boat can be warned of danger by me, I guide to safety and I can be held onto in a bind. A buoy is always there as life goes by. Winter makes me more of a buoy, but this spring, as the weather warms,  I think my weighed down buoy is going to be more like a leaf in a breeze, and we may take time to explore places not visible in my buoy existence. God gave us life, and such breathtaking things to do, every once in a while, Mark and I – well we are going to start seeing them again.

Until later, Mrs Justa alias Cindy

 

 

Quality not Quantity

I often find my mind taking me back in time, and remember that through most of the years of my life, it was the times spent with the special men in my life, not the times away from that I remember most. As a very young girl, it was my dad. He was the comfort, the strength, a gift. His job had him away during the week and home on Thurs nights and back out on a short sales run, returning usually Friday nights.

Our time together meant everything to me. I remember his hand holding mine securely, his voice was deep, his love for all of us was unending. I remember his hugs, his laughter.

He used to say I was his princess. I remember how he tried to take time for each of us. and my time I saved in a vault in my mind, in my heart. It brings me comfort in so many ways.

I remember how he was one who would remind me through the years he was alive, that life never promised to be all good, bad things happen, and that somehow the bad turns into good again.

Karen was 10 years older than me, and it is funny in the couple of pictures I have of her with me and dad, she is always looking back at me. I can only imagine I was a chatty little one.

We all remember dad in different ways I am sure. Karen was 10 when I was born, so she already had 10 years of memories before my dad times started.

Pam my next older sister was 1 1/2 yrs older than me. She and I had a lot of fun and not so fun times, just due to age, and I always felt a tad bit of jealousy from her. She too had memories of dad, and dads death took a really bad toll on her. To the point that as an adult woman, every anniversary of his death she would end up in a severe depression. Sometimes to the point of needing an inpatient admission to help her get to the other side.

As I got older, there have been men in my life who also had employment that required they be gone a good percentage of the weeks. I never ever regretted that, I accepted it without any second thought, because the time they were home, was valuable, treasured and never taken for granted. It is not the amount of time spent, it is how we use the time when we have it to spend. To be constantly together, 24/7; I think it becomes an expectation, I think there are moments that would be more special if they were not routine.

During the first 10 years of my life, I remember my mom, however times I remember more vividly are those in which my mom and dad were there. I wonder often how life would have been had he not died when I was 10. Time with dad, it was quality time, the pieces fit together.

As I look back on my own adult life, Mark was away often for his job, just like my dad was. It was how life was. When our own kids were growing up- we tried to spend quality time with them when Mark was home. We would go to some places – often places that did not cost a penny, yet their value priceless. Walks in parks, sitting on docks, camping in our pup tents, later advancing to pop-ups. Playing ball, frisbee, Yahtzee, the list goes on.

And now the times with our grandchildren, the moments are treasured, they are not routine, and we do things with them. It is the special times, times giving of oneself and really focusing on the other person, those are quality times.

AS I am off for a new week, I am going to work on quality and not quantity…

Until later, Mrs Justa alias Cindy

 

Trusting In …..

We live life sometimes feeling like we know exactly the next step. Our alarm clock will go off, we will get up, we brush our teeth, do whatever routine in the morning we do, and move to the next part of our day. However when the alarm clock does not go off, or there is no water pressure, or maybe we fall out of bed instead of getting up the usual way, well it kinda puts our synched life out of order.

We trust everything will go as planned, and yet there are the things that don’t.

It gets even trickier when we take the next step, drive the car, reach for something, heck even getting something from a cupboard. Everything we do we trust will end the same way.

Now we can try to protect ourselves from areas where things can’t go wrong, but we become people in bubbles. Less can go wrong, but things happen.

I was thinking about trust and faith to extend beyond the simpler bullet points of a day. I was reminded in my thoughts of this day, this fall day when this never could have been, had life been kept inside the bubble. I took this at an angle to show the freedom, the joy of the moment. Jeff trusted he would get caught, and he loved the feeling of freedom. The look on his face, the total relaxation of his body, he trusted thigs will be okay, and without that trust, the picture would have been totally different- it might have been a terrified face and fingers clutching so tight to the neck of his dad- like please don’t make me do this. But no– he totally trusted and because of that experienced something way out of the ordinary.

As we get older and heavier, that opportunity – that specific scenario – could not be, or would probably not end in a laugh. However, as we age, inventors have created ways to get that feeling and beyond. I takes a lot more effort from the person achieving the liftoff, however, it needs to be accompanied by trust. Trust that the winds are right, trust your legs are ready for a rather fast run, trust the equipment was not faulty. If however, you have the trust, that sense of freedom can be yours. This person was on an elevated area, beyond the takeoff area was an incredible valley, miles of land colored with the brilliance of fall.

Life has been full of trusting, we trust in relationships, we trust in our day to day activities, our jobs, our everything……and yes we also trust we will be cleaning the bruises- whether inside or outside, and some scars that show the roadmap of my life. I want to always feel that feeling that life is going to be okay, that feeling I get every time I remember that fall day with Jeff. I never ever want to stop trusting that even when things don’t go quite as planned, the trust and faith are so important.

Until later,  Mrs Justa alias Cindy

 

 

Another Year In The Rear View Mirror

Today marks yet another year of life. The moments are but footprints, soon to be washed away, yet leaving impressions in our memory banks. A year of hopefully some positive that happened, a year for some filled with one or more life-changing moments, and a year that some may want to run out of as quickly as possible.

I have a friend who married a man that is her soul mate. I mean to the max. The love you see in their eyes when she talks about him- about them- in their interactions captured on photos, it has been a truly blessed year for her.

I have a friend, she is a soulmate friend, we think alike, we just know when the other needs a call, a text, a visit, we say the same things, .. well she and her husband retired. They totally changed their living situation, sold a home, bought a place in Florida and have a permanent park setting on a lake in Upstate New York… Part of her time south, part up here. Oh, they had some major bumps along the journey, but all in all, looking at their smiles and stress-free facial expressions, it has been a good year for them.

Mark’s and my year, whoa, we look in the rearview mirror of that, and it has been full. We started the year with a 6-month mania for Mark, the incredible changes in our lives during that time and the challenges for him to face the 4 1/2 months of climbing out of depression. I experienced changing my department at work in August due to my place of employment being acquired by a very large company and learning oh so many new things. It is a good thing, just a big change. We spent some fun rewarding times with the grandkids and spent some great times with family. We helped Marks mom as she transitioned from an apartment to an Assisted Living Environment. Yes, it has been a year.

I think about life, each breath, each step, each second is like a snowflake. By itself, it may not mean much, but add them together and it creates memories, it creates opportunities. And as quickly as a snowflake can melt, so can the moment be gone. I look back on the year and think of all the things different, of the few more aches that might be there at times, and I wonder what lies ahead.

I long to treasure each moment, to look for the good in everything, and to be the best I can be.  I am thankful for what has been and what is yet to come. I realize that life is full of changes, of hurt and of happiness. I feel blessed that I am aware of the presence of those who have passed on still being here for me in their subtle ways. I feel thankful to have been blessed with my husband, our kids, and our grandkids. I am thankful for my siblings and all the members of our family, my friends, the church I attend and thankful for living my life in the comfort of God.

As I look ahead, I do not know what each day will bring, but each breath I take, each step I make will be with the intent to be the best I can be for that moment.  The saying “moss won’t grow on a rolling stone” will continue to be a reminder to keep moving…  So as I end this year with this post, I wish all have time to reflect, to look ahead. Happy New Year. Until next year, Mrs Justa alias Cindy

 

Subtle Hints

We all have had times when we have had done to us, or we have done subtle hints to someone else. Those times when someone, something is almost unnoticeable but”speaks” volumes. A moment of actions or nudges of our senses to direct us in a direction or action.

This morning I had a subtle hint from Riley. She does it most mornings. She never barks and seldom whimpers to request help or indicate she would like you to do something. ( Now if you are someone coming onto her domain and she senses “stranger danger” or is so excited you have come to visit the quiet life we have here- she will make vocal notice you are here), but the day to day stuff, she is the queen of subtle hints.

It is 4:30 AM, and that is the time the adults need to wake up to pee. But it is 4:30— we have more sleep time. I nestle back under the flannel sheets, drift back to grab that next hour, and there is a cold wet nose that feels like it is 4 feet long- on my cheek. A nudge or two of that nose, just to say “HEY, did you forget something?”  See she loves that last sleep time to spend with us, totally under the covers, down at our feet. We lift the covers, I say “under” and 99.9% of the time she is under there way past the time I get up.

She won’t bark to go out. She comes and stares at you.

The “staring” from under my desk” when I am working

Now if you are not noticing this dog STARING at you, trying to levitate you with her visual trance, well she becomes a little less subtle. She may lay her head on your lap and stare up at you like a lost puppy. If that does not work, there is the getting on paw up and nudging you by moving her paw back and forth. Still too dense to “hear her” – well that calls for standing on her back paws and the front ones become a canine masseuse, at first I can think “awe she is giving me a back rub’, But if that doesn’t make me stop working or whatever I am doing at the time, the whimper will finally start. She does not go in the house, she just does not do that, unless she is sick. She is a persistent little one thankfully, because reading, or computer work, well it is easy to get lost in what I am doing and totally oblivious to the mime-like dog we have.

It is funny, but being unable to speak she speaks loudly at times. I was baking this weekend, and I would look to my right, and Riley would sometimes be sitting at the sliding glass door, looking out, almost like she is at attention. I noticed her there, her position was so perfectly postured, I asked: ” Do you have to go out?”… She stood, she wagged her tail and yep that was what she wanted.

Imagine being unable to speak words? Imagine only being able to talk by a nudge, a stare, a gesture.

The world is full of so many things that can not use words. Today it is Riley I am focused on, but there will be other times to share.

Have a great day everyone, Until later, Mrs. Justa alias Cindy

 

 

Interacting and Technology

So as I was making my weekly grocery list on a pad of real paper, with an actual pen, I was thinking- hey I could just go online, and order this all.. and …. nope— STOP…. I am going to continue to go out and shop for groceries. I enjoy seeing others, I enjoy making sure what we are buying is what we intended to buy, …

Well, this got me thinking… I think as the world continues to advance, to become more virtual, we have to remember to have real-life experiences. We need to interact with face to face, real life, and reach out and touch moments.

To see peoples face on face time is a great tool, because people can be in places you can not be, and have a conversation with them. However, doing face time with people that are just a few miles away, well I feel that going outside and seeing them might be the option to take.

We can now go to our computer, cell phone, tablet or probably talk in the air to “Alexa” or “Google” devices, give a list of things we need from the store, and have it delivered to our doorstep, or have someone waiting to load it in our car.

Instead of face to face, touch the items, one can buy virtually anything without going out and seeing it. And God forbid it not be what we expected from the image online we ordered it from. Instead, had we just gone to a local vendor, a store, a warehouse and seen it, felt it, looked it over, well then we know what we are buying.

Now everyone ( including me) can make all the excuses and reasons why this is so great. It keeps me away from germs of others, I do not need to deal with long lines, it gives me more time to fill up my day with a bunch of other stuff. Heck before we know it we have fit what used to be 36 hrs of actions in an 18 hr day.

We do not have to go to a movie- nope we can sit in the comfort of our home and watch the movie, stop it when we want, and put it back on after we pee, or grab a drink, or stretch, AND we can watch it in our jammies. Now I am not saying this is wrong, it does, however, take away the “going out to a move” experience. The smell of the popcorn, the darkness as you sit on seats in rows that are on an inclining floor.

There is nothing that replaces taking a trip to a planetarium. The music, the narrator, the feeling you are in a spaceship in orbit as they show us the universe, the night sky.

To show a child a firefly cupped in your hand, or to show them virtually via a YouTube image– well the magic is definitely in the first option.

 

Playing games, yes real hands-on , touch the pieces, not only hear the voice of your opponent but to see their eyes, to laugh in the same room, that is so much a component of that experience. Oh I know we can get games and our opponent is part of the game, we had this one game where we could choose the country and type of opponent we wanted. A man calling you “Chap” to a down-under voice teasing when they are about to whomp you. It, however, takes away the real socialization.

Virtual convenience is nice, however, we as adults, our kids, our grandkids, our friends, we also need to keep our social skills up, we need to take advantage of the value of being real- in real time… to be able to interact and not feel lost in the world.

We can in balance embrace the various incredible things that are available to us, things to make our life easier… yet we need to be aware of what is important at the end of the day, what is a need, what are we doing as a “cop-out” or because it is just less demanding of our time… and what is a want.

Thoughts to ponder…. Until later, Mrs Justa alias Cindy

 

 

 

 

 

So Nice To Spend Time Together

Well, the weekend is over and a new week begins. The dinner at Jeff and Amanda’s was the icing on the proverbial cake. It brought together Our kids , their spouses, and our kid’s kids. It happens too infrequently, it is nice when it does happen.

It brings to mind the importance of stopping for a bit. We have all gone in various directions in our lives, our grandchildren have different interests and our responsibilities keep us all going in different directions, that it is nice to stop and have all our various pathways intersect, our universes align.

At times there was more than one conversation, and the cousins laughing and having a great time, kids being kids. Life, I am so often reminded about life is what we make it to be. There are times and situations that we have no control over, and those times, well we do the best we can.

As we sat there conversing, sharing where we are in life, our days, our current events, experiences. it really is amazing all the experiences the grandchildren have had, that our kid’s families have had. Places they have been and plan to go. How each adult is very responsible, very respectable, they love one another and all love their kids immensely. As a parent ( grandparent) – I can not ask for anything more.

The 5 kids running, talking, laughing in the background took me back in time, memories of growing up in a house with 6 of kids, it brought a sense of comfort and many many memories. The sounds were what our house sounded like every single night, every weekend, every summer day and night whenever we were all in the house. It is the building blocks that create each of us. The noise of youth, noise that is there – no internet needed, no electronics, noise that is a sharing of each other. My mom would say she loved the sounds in the house, it was the sound of life. Oh at times she would get frustrated with the energy of the six of us I am sure.

When we went to bed, drifting off to sleep to the sound of the whistling tea kettle, we knew mom was getting ready  to unwind, to focus on her stuff, for she also she loved the quiet- a time she knew everyone was safe, comfortable and resting, charging up for another day of running, laughing, talking, creating and even a few arguments along the way.

It was nice to go back in time, and comforting to know that each of us is doing ok, in our own way, in our own lives. Until the next time we gather together, I will keep close the memories of today.

Until later, Mrs Justa alias Cindy

 

Treasuring minutes,making them count

The holidays are in full swing right now. People going totally bonkers shopping here and there and buying baked goods and gifts and this and that. We had some shopping to do and I totally dreaded the thought of Saturday, 2 weekends left before Christmas and the crowds.

So we hit the stores by 8 AM. yep smartest move of the day. We did not have a lot to get, I had baking to do- I wanted to make some special things for a special time tomorrow.  The goal was to be home and baking while people are out there fighting for parking spaces, and huffing and puffing in line because they are being inconvenienced by waiting in line, yep- got home before the shoppers had their first cup of coffee.

We even finished our journey with a coffee and Dunkin, and some relax time before heading home.  Then the fun times began. This is the end result of my first of 4 treats…. mixing ingredients together and grating apples up, and poof apple muffins about to bake.

While these were baking I started project number 2- making an apple strawberry pie for us to cut into small pieces and freeze, taking one out every once in a while for a small treat. That went in the over when the muffins came out.

While that was baking it was time to make cinnamon donuts and donut holes. I bag each separately and put them in the freezer for a treat. Mark likes to get one for a breakfast type item with his AM cup of coffee.

As the donuts were cooling before their deep freeze, I took the apple muffins and kept some out for tomorrow and the rest individually frozen for sometime in the future.

Last but not least the pie came out and in went a dump cake to cook to a yummy delight. – that too for tomorrow. Finally after hours and hours of shuffling, and mixing and cooking ta da……. ( The pie has “I LOVE YOU” on it, but it is hard to read. )

The dump cake and plate of muffins all set to go over to our special treat.

Tomorrow Adrianne and Josh, Caleb and Mackenzie are coming to Phoenix for a family dinner at Amanda and Jeffs and their 3 kids.

I am looking forward to having everyone in the same place. Adrianne and Jeff have been brother and sister since they were 3. Lots of years have gone by since then, and Mark and I both tried very hard to have them always feel like they were brother and sister.

I always loved this picture, because it is one of many that shows what I mean.

This was at a pool at a campsite that used to be near here- it is now closed …. Yep, we tried to make weekends special…. we had a pop-up camper and would take them camping on weekends when our schedules allowed. Sometimes it seems like just yesterday, but it was a while ago.

So tomorrow we once again will all be together. The time will be way too fast, and all way special. Life is short, we have one chance at each minute. and tomorrow, I am going to try to make every minute a treasure. Whatever you finish your weekend with, I hope you too treasure the gift each minute is.

Until later… Mrs Justa alias Cindy

 

It is What’s Inside That Counts

This is a lesson in life that is learned and relearned and relearned again. As we grow up, we are impressed by and exposed to many people, places, events, and experiences. I remember many a time wishing I was more like another or thinking how come they have such and such, or they wear such and such.
The pressures of being feeling you are welcome or trying to be accepted, they can be overwhelming. In growing up that seemed important at times, and also seemed to not be a pathway I was on as far as it went with the “cool kids”.
I remember my mom on more than a few occasions reminding me that it is what is on the inside that counts. I may not be the best dressed, the prettiest, the richest, the most popular as I walk through life. Those things are not what is important. It is how you act, how sincere you are, how empathetic you are, how caring you are, how honest you are. Those are the qualities that make you a person others will want to know, those are the qualities of a true friend.
Material things seem to matter to many people, the best car, the most souped-up technologies, the fanciest name on the clothes … in the end- what really mattered was who we each are. Not what we have. The stores, the commercials, the internet is filled with so many THINGS to get that “special person to show them you care”. That does not show a person you care, spending time, listening, give and take conversations, that is how someone knows you care about them.

 

Have you ever known of a person who you thought was someone you wanted to know better until they opened their mouth and you realized they are extremely focused on themselves? Or wished for that certain something, only to find it was not worth the effort of getting it.

I knew a person once a LONGGG time ago who had to look in every reflection at himself. I kid you not, I think he liked when it was early morning or dusk because all the windows became mirrors.
There are so many things in life that if we determine it by its cover, by its appearance alone, we just might be focusing on something with no depth, without substance. Life is too short to be artificial.

As we raise our kids, as we mentor others, as we present ourselves to others, we need to remember it is not just what is seen, it is all those special things, it is what is beyond what is seen that matters. What can we share of us, not what can we buy, but what can we offer from our hearts to others?

Until later, Mrs Justa alias Cindy

 

 

Responsibility

 

Another day is dawning,  memories to be made, impressions to leave, moments unchangeable.

As the day begins, as the next step is about to happen, the next minute here among us, I am thinking about life and the effects we have on it.

 

RESPONSIBILITY:  We all are responsible for our actions. This goes for every single thing we do. We can not choose which things we do we are and are not responsible for. Nope, we own each thing we do.

That is a huge responsibility. Why, because sometimes the things we do, we don’t even realize or think about the end result, we get wrapped up in a moment or jump on the proverbial “bandwagon”. However, as we travel down the twists and turns of life’s journey,  and at the end of our road in life, it is us and us alone who individually made choices.

I say this because of many reasons, many reasons I myself have chosen to do things, and once they were done, well there was no rewind, no “gee I didn’t mean to be that way, or “I didn’t mean to do that” or “I didn’t mean to _______”.  The “I wish I had” thoughts do not count.

There have been things I have said, I can not take back. Actions I did, I can not undo. As a nurse, I have cared for patients who would say, “I knew better” or “If I only had never smoked” or “I took the chance ____”   Notice the similarity– “If I only had not or didn’t”

My parents would say to me when I did something I totally should not have, “You know better than that” or ” Bet you won’t do that again” or “what did you learn from that?”. And as I was growing up, she would wipe the wound ( physical or not) and guide me through the why’s and maybe even have suggestions on how to deal with that scenario in the future. They were preparing me for my future.

As we grow up we are still responsible for our actions. There are consequences to what is done, said, or ignored. If any of us are asked to do something and we say we will, if we then do it halfway, or not appropriately – if we take a risk, a dare—- we cannot go back and get those minutes to undo it.

In our roles in life, ( being a friend, an adult, a mentor, a stranger, a human being ) whether at work or in any environment around us, writing anything in social media, in an article,  we can not take it back. It paints a picture of us that can not be painted over, the “delete” does not remove words or photos or actions done.

Our reactions to something said or done, we can not undo that either. In life I have found to tread softly at times, to think before doing or saying, and to appreciate and take responsibility to every minute I am on this earth.

What image are we giving? What actions are we doing? What consequences because of those actions, or lack of actions are there? What image have I left?

Those are my thoughts this morning, something I will remember as I get ready for another day to be the best I can be.

Until later, Mrs Justa alias Cindy

 

 

Challenges or a Way Of Life

On any given day, I can look out the window and think “Oh look, the sun is up”…. period… But no- there is more… see beyond the noticing of the sunrise in the quiet of things in front of me was a glistening world of diamond-like sparkles. A cold crisp early morning gift, a gift that many may have not seen, a gift that can turn into a snowy plain ol day.

 

 

 

 

Yet, right there for all to see, a refreshing light show of sparkling colors.

It brought once again to mind thought about life. How when we are faced with things that seem monumental, we look at the proverbial mountain ( or in this case maybe a quick noticing the sun is rising) and we are overwhelmed at the tasks at hand at the end of a particular journey. Sometimes it is easier to dwell on that obstacle, which takes us longer to put it behind us.

Life can feel like it is hard at times, life is full of mountains to climb, sometimes valleys to drudge through. Plenty of times I have slipped on the proverbial mountain wandered off the proverbial path and had to retrace my steps, maybe find a slightly less challenging path to go on.

There was one person in my life that told me once she never had challenges in life. I remember thinking “heck let me share some with you” but I did not offer, and she never asked to take a few from me, so I have gone on in life realizing that at least for me, challenges exist, they can be heart wrenching, they can be touch and we conquer them one by one step at a time.

Photo by Alex Smith on Pexels.com

As I look back at this person who said this to me, as I came to know her a tad bit more many yrs ago, I now wonder- maybe just maybe she had the ability to look at those diamond-like crystals, and not just at that sunrise from afar. I think that because I truly believe we ALL face moments when life has tried to knock us down.

Maybe this person was able to anticipate but not look for that next roadblock or detour on her journey of life. If we know that challenges will lie ahead, but if we look at them as not roadblocks but the way the path takes us, then maybe we too can feel that life has been good, no matter what part of our journey we are on.

I, myself, and going to try to work on this. As I take each next step on this road of life, I will anticipate some bumps and hairpin curves, knowing the road will straighten up. To now look so far ahead, but to look at now and a few feet ahead. Not so much only living for today,, but planning for tomorrow and in those plans, the “challenges” will become part of the process.

OK, I am off to try this out, Until alter… Mrs Justa alias Cindy

 

 

 

 

Christmas Season

I can not totally pinpoint every reason I love the Christmas season. It was never for gifts, as I have never been in a place where material things were the focus of why one lives and breaths. Growing up Christmas Season seemed to begin right after Thanksgiving. Now it is starting before Halloween, but I think the retailers feel it is necessary to have pre-pre Black Friday specials, and all kinds of sales before Thanksgiving groceries are even being thought of because the stores need people to come to them.

To totally experience the Christmas Season and the things I notice as being comforting, well you can not experience that using your app to online stores and sitting on the couch in your feety PJS. Nope, you have to get dressed and go out in the world.

First I love going around and seeing the various light displays. In w world where people seem to be mostly to themselves,

I find it neat when they open up their lives to others through lights. There are some people who really go nuts with lights, one place not terribly far from here they have collection bins for non-perishable food for the hungry, and thousands of people come by their place to witness the Christmas show. They must really love the season, and they do an incredible job of displaying it. And in exchange, they provide food for those who need it.

Others have quaint light, it really does not matter how massive it is, it is just neat to get a feeling of unity, or giving, sharing. We have downsized our Christmas decorations- we never did a lot outside, but we used to have more lights in windows and a whomping tall tree. Now, the quaintness feels so good to us.

These guys used to be anchored outside, tied down and rocks in their feet area, and they still would tip at times. We had them outside when Jeff was in school and living home. AS he grew up and moved out and on with life, well he and his wife and children, they have the decorations and bigger trees. Kids love the magic of the season too. For us, it is playing some Christmas music, and decorating some.

We do not go out to the incredible sales, as we really do not buy a lot of gifts, and have no lists we are trying to fill. So for me, when we are in any stores, or walking down a sidewalk, well people seem happier this time of year, friendlier, more welcoming. It is what I feel at this time of year.

When we were younger, there was a Sears Christmas catalog that would come to the house. We were allowed to all share it and pick ONE thing we really thought was special or something we longed for. We would put the first letter of our name by the picture. If it was for the two with M starting their name- we would do a “Me” or a “Ma”. If money allowed- that one special gift became a reality under the tree. That is hard for a kid to do, to pick one item in a catalog designed to become a “ME ME ME” type advertising plot. One year Tom succumbed to the advertising wonderland and put a whole bunch of “t”s next to pictures/ but every night he would lay on his belly in bed and recite over and over again as he bopped his head up and down on his pillow ” MOTORIFIC TORTURE TRACK” HA, he did end up with this as his main gift. Peter was relieved because they had bunk beds, Pete on the lower bunk, and Tom doing his monotonous chant every night till he put himself to sleep.

I find that Christmas is more enlightening when it is cherished for what it is and not filled with what to buy, and how much did so and so spend, and wondering if you need to get a person a gift just in case they have one for you.

Yep, this is the season I really feel the peace, the love, in the places I go.

May you find some of that peace where you are too.

Until later, Mrs Justa alias Cindy.

 

 

 

 

When the pieces all fit in place.

I love when things come together, when all the elements of what could be, with the potential of it turning out good, or not so good and after all is said and done- well it came out to be okay.

This past weekend was just like that for me ( well for all of us I hope). We had the fortune to have my sister and her husband here for 5 days, and 3 of our grandchildren here for an overnight and a full day, and a family gathering on Saturday at our sons home, and my friend from High School here for Thanksgiving day.

I mentioned in the last post that our weekend was coming to an end. Well, now it is totally in the rear view mirror of life. The kids are back with their parents, the gatherings have all come and gone, my sister, her husband and my friend from high school have all made it home safely, and Mark and I are here with Riley. We have gone from a lot of actions to settling back down to the normal life we have.

It was fun, it was interesting at times, the kids were unbelievably great, we laughed, we played, we learned new games, we shared ideas…… we got to share family time at Jeff and Amanda’s with my siblings and their families members who could attend. Times when I wasn’t sure that things would go smoothly ( specifically the cooking of the Thanksgiving Dinner- that is always a crap-shoot because the Turkey rules- yep — dinner is not ready till the turkey is). All in all, though it went well.  Lessons learned include: cooking a boneless 3 lb turkey breast in a crockpot is awesome;  and pre-cooking the stuffing, sweet potatoes and pies worked very well.

As the dust settles, all the laundry is done and put away, the spare beds tucked away and folded chairs back in the storage area- I can head into the Christmas mode.

I hope you find magic as the days of December come and go.

Until later- Mrs Justa alias Cindy

 

 

 

“I Already Know”

I guess I never thought about this until I heard it a whole bunch of times in different settings this Thanksgiving weekend.

I saw myself doing it, and also heard it done to others. First, let me say all the social media outlets CAN BE wonderful when used as a means to give many “friends, family and acquaintances” the same bullet point information at one time. A way to create a page not yet colored in that person’s life.

Let’s say you graduated or had a baby or an exciting time at _______,  it is to share an extremely tough time or the passing of a person that you would never have known about, or a way to type in a verse or 2 about the loss you have endured. It is something, some time had it not been shared on f.b., twitter, or any of the others outlets to communicate.

It is a great way to share photos of a gathering many attended, or maybe that perfect moment you stumbled on. Those times when without sharing on social media, well it would never have been experienced in a very 2D way.

Looking at this picture- one that was probably on a facebook post, it shows a wedding, but without the personal touch, the conversation, the painting done with words, there is so much more that can fill in the outline of a “wedding”

If, however, someone starts face to face- or voice to voice on the phone- about something- well that is the beginning of an opportunity to converse. They want to make that 2D, quick blurb into a 3D moment. Voices, faces they add expression to the time they are referring to, or to the sad or happy moment captured and shared. That person wanted to put color into the social media bullet point. We ( and I can not count the times I did it) can stop the conversation, we can keep that moment just a bullet point in time, we can portrait we do not really care by interrupting- or making our first ( and often our last) response by saying ” Yeah , I already know” or “Yeah,I saw it on f.b.” .

Now if the same person starts the conversation and mentions they also had it on Facebook, ( or whatever media they put it on) we need to stop and listen. That conversation you are about to be blessed with, well it adds the personal component.

Or if you see that person, you could always start the conversation with that tidbit of their life they shared. An opportunity to bring a personal touch to a moment they shared on facebook. That can be a great time to show you care and want to hear more.

We will never ever know what we missed if we close that opportunity to have color added to social media bullet points if we stop the conversation before the colors fill in the moment in their life.

My mission for today and going forward is to let the other person not only bring up the topic but to let them take that outline, that bullet point, and add their words to it, their nonverbals, their feelings.

Until later, Mrs. Justa/ alias Cindy

 

“Times of our Lives”

There was a very popular song from the mid-1970s that Paul Anka had done and Kodak used it as an advertising jingle. The lyrics are very meaningful to me- and as I take photographs and look at photos from times gone by, as I reminisce on times captured in the Windows or my mind and heart, well this melody and its’  words- it plays in my head.

“Good morning, yesterday
You wake up and time has slipped away
And suddenly it’s hard to find
The memories you left behind
Remember, do you remember?

The laughter and the tears
The shadows of misty yesteryears
The good times and the bad you’ve seen
And all the others in between
Remember, do you remember
The times of your life? ………..

Reach out for the joy and the sorrow
Put them away in your mind
The memories are times that you borrow
To spend when you get to tomorrow

The seasons are passing one by one
So gather moments while you may
Collect the dreams you dream today
…….. will you remember
The times of your life?

……….
Do you remember the times of your life?”

For me, as this weekend with family enters its last day and a half, the moments already created and those yet to come, I want to remember the laughter, the realization that we were all placed in the places we are now, because of the roads we have traveled. My wish is that everyone has those moments, those “TImes of Your Life”, that can play over and over again as the days become moments in our journey, little monuments or landscapes.

Until later, Mrs. Justa alias Cindy

 

Thanksgiving

We have the day almost here. The one day a year we call Thanksgiving. To choose one day a year to be thankful seems not what it is about. To me, it is a time to enjoy times with some people that you might not normally see. It is a time to deep breathe and know that we have days of a little less sunlight coming, days preparing for however we go forward into December.

Thanksgiving has many meanings, and it is a time to reflect on all the blessings in life. The little things that are blessings. The breath taken, the snowflake falling softly, the warmth of a smile,  the ability to endure the challenges life has and the strength to find good in moments we experience. Life is like a forest, many things to experience, to see, we need to stop and absorb them, treasure them .

I am reminded often in life of this quote by Charles Dickens.    “Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.”– Charles Dickens

To me, it is a time to stop, to share moments talking with those you are sharing the holiday dinner with. A time to maybe sip a glass of wine, a time to laugh about days gone by, and to realize every single moment made us who we are right now. Every single moment is a gift, a blessing, not always promised to be happy times, yet still, a gift leading up to days to come.

May the day be a day to regroup thoughts, feelings, and appreciate what we have, who we have shared moments of life with, and look forward to the moments, people, and experiences yet to come.

MAy God Bless you, Until later, Mrs. Justa- alias  Cindy

 

 

Practice creates ……

I was thinking this past week about learning something new or doing something repetitively and what is the end result.

Last weekend, we had the Black Belt Ceremony I mentioned a few posts back. Those individuals did not just wake up one morning and poof could work in synchronization with a stage full of other, they couldn’t make those moves and stay focused just by thinking about it.

This thought surfaces a lot to me. Everywhere we go, what we see, our jobs, our walking, driving, interactions, those improve often by doing them over and over again. This becomes even deeper of a thought when we get into every day.

I was reminded the other day of our day to day life. While I was in a waiting room, I overheard a person say on her cell phone that she prefers to text people, and not have them call her. She said to the person on the phone something about being more comfortable communicating that way, she can put down what she wants without to SAY.

That comment she made, well it made me think about all the things we have at our fingertips to make life easier, to be able to move at a faster pace. Each thing has its benefits- however, they should not replace the more personal, hands-on, practicing talent, task, interactions or skill.

When I have been trained, and when I have trained others. The teaching included showing the pieces to the action being taught, having the other demonstrate the action/ talent/ skill being taught, and letting the trainee do it themselves over and over again, but having the steps checked until it is assured they know it more naturally. I currently am going through one of those teachings, showing and demonstrating times in my life. Learning a new role at work, listening, taking notes, seeing it done, and having the “baton” passed so I can demonstrate I am becoming more comfortable and confident in each step. As the days pass, and I look back a couple months, I realize how far I have come, yet am realistic at the journey ahead as more processes and steps are introduced and one day become something I am proficient at.

Even though life is like that, we need to make darn sure before we take the “easy” way, we have personally become comfortable in a more personal way. We need also to understand practice makes us more proficient. From learning how to walk, and being able to walk… to learning how to add, subtract, speak in an intellectual conversation, cook, doing a game, reading a book, the list is infinite.

Virtual meetings, training, communicating makes so much of life so much better. We can jot a thought in an instant message at 2AM, and the other person can get it whenever they are awake…  Yet, there is a fine line when we could realize that our personal relationships, our whole life has become virtual. If life gets to a point when we could move away, go to a different city, state, country, and our life would be the same, no one would even know we moved, that is a  message that we have not only taken advantage of the virtual life conveniences, we have let them take over us.

When was the last time you …. fill in the blank? And if the power was off / the internet down/ ( that list goes on and on too) … do you know how to improvise?

When was the last time you looked into a personal eyes and spoke – face to face? When was the last time you touched a deck of cards or held a book? Have you ever done a no electronics evening or weekend?

Even though the modern conveniences make life able to be more productive, more chaotic, more impersonal, we need to stop and not let it replace the 3D life we are blessed with. I would rather hold a child’s hand, then hold a cell phone and screen chat. I would rather sit at a table and play a game of ( the list is so long… ie: cards, Yahtzee, Scrabble, Sorry, Trouble….. and on and on) than to only ever play it on my electronic device.

Yes, the books on our electronic devices are great, and being able to do a 1000 piece puzzle and never worry about that one lost piece or someone messing it up… those are all great. I just do not to ever become so dependent on the “no touch” that it becomes me.

As this weekend begins, I am looking forward to what the day will bring, who will I personally see face to face? Who will I talk to and not type my words to? What will I do that is hands on? What will I remember more vividly because of those one to one moments? I am off to experience life and all there is in the minutes ahead.

Until later, Mrs Justa alias Cindy