Being a Buoy

We are all different, some quiet, some are known when they are in the presence of others, and some are darn right annoying because their behavior is that they are the only one that matters.

I wonder what makes us be the way we are. I was thinking about me, if I had to look for something I am like, I find a buoy is probably that best description. Buoys are just there, they can provide safety to alert of danger, they do not cause harm, they are pretty simple and bob along as the world goes by calmly, or thrashes around me.

As I bob through every minute of my life- going forward and for the minutes that have  gone by, I watch, I observe, I say few words, and if the waters are calm, I am still… if the waters are rough I tip back and forth, look like I might lose my purpose, but in the end, I am still there.

Birds can perch on me, a boat can be warned of danger by me, I guide to safety and I can be held onto in a bind. A buoy is always there as life goes by. Winter makes me more of a buoy, but this spring, as the weather warms,  I think my weighed down buoy is going to be more like a leaf in a breeze, and we may take time to explore places not visible in my buoy existence. God gave us life, and such breathtaking things to do, every once in a while, Mark and I – well we are going to start seeing them again.

Until later, Mrs Justa alias Cindy

 

 

So Nice To Spend Time Together

Well, the weekend is over and a new week begins. The dinner at Jeff and Amanda’s was the icing on the proverbial cake. It brought together Our kids , their spouses, and our kid’s kids. It happens too infrequently, it is nice when it does happen.

It brings to mind the importance of stopping for a bit. We have all gone in various directions in our lives, our grandchildren have different interests and our responsibilities keep us all going in different directions, that it is nice to stop and have all our various pathways intersect, our universes align.

At times there was more than one conversation, and the cousins laughing and having a great time, kids being kids. Life, I am so often reminded about life is what we make it to be. There are times and situations that we have no control over, and those times, well we do the best we can.

As we sat there conversing, sharing where we are in life, our days, our current events, experiences. it really is amazing all the experiences the grandchildren have had, that our kid’s families have had. Places they have been and plan to go. How each adult is very responsible, very respectable, they love one another and all love their kids immensely. As a parent ( grandparent) – I can not ask for anything more.

The 5 kids running, talking, laughing in the background took me back in time, memories of growing up in a house with 6 of kids, it brought a sense of comfort and many many memories. The sounds were what our house sounded like every single night, every weekend, every summer day and night whenever we were all in the house. It is the building blocks that create each of us. The noise of youth, noise that is there – no internet needed, no electronics, noise that is a sharing of each other. My mom would say she loved the sounds in the house, it was the sound of life. Oh at times she would get frustrated with the energy of the six of us I am sure.

When we went to bed, drifting off to sleep to the sound of the whistling tea kettle, we knew mom was getting ready  to unwind, to focus on her stuff, for she also she loved the quiet- a time she knew everyone was safe, comfortable and resting, charging up for another day of running, laughing, talking, creating and even a few arguments along the way.

It was nice to go back in time, and comforting to know that each of us is doing ok, in our own way, in our own lives. Until the next time we gather together, I will keep close the memories of today.

Until later, Mrs Justa alias Cindy

 

Treasuring minutes,making them count

The holidays are in full swing right now. People going totally bonkers shopping here and there and buying baked goods and gifts and this and that. We had some shopping to do and I totally dreaded the thought of Saturday, 2 weekends left before Christmas and the crowds.

So we hit the stores by 8 AM. yep smartest move of the day. We did not have a lot to get, I had baking to do- I wanted to make some special things for a special time tomorrow.  The goal was to be home and baking while people are out there fighting for parking spaces, and huffing and puffing in line because they are being inconvenienced by waiting in line, yep- got home before the shoppers had their first cup of coffee.

We even finished our journey with a coffee and Dunkin, and some relax time before heading home.  Then the fun times began. This is the end result of my first of 4 treats…. mixing ingredients together and grating apples up, and poof apple muffins about to bake.

While these were baking I started project number 2- making an apple strawberry pie for us to cut into small pieces and freeze, taking one out every once in a while for a small treat. That went in the over when the muffins came out.

While that was baking it was time to make cinnamon donuts and donut holes. I bag each separately and put them in the freezer for a treat. Mark likes to get one for a breakfast type item with his AM cup of coffee.

As the donuts were cooling before their deep freeze, I took the apple muffins and kept some out for tomorrow and the rest individually frozen for sometime in the future.

Last but not least the pie came out and in went a dump cake to cook to a yummy delight. – that too for tomorrow. Finally after hours and hours of shuffling, and mixing and cooking ta da……. ( The pie has “I LOVE YOU” on it, but it is hard to read. )

The dump cake and plate of muffins all set to go over to our special treat.

Tomorrow Adrianne and Josh, Caleb and Mackenzie are coming to Phoenix for a family dinner at Amanda and Jeffs and their 3 kids.

I am looking forward to having everyone in the same place. Adrianne and Jeff have been brother and sister since they were 3. Lots of years have gone by since then, and Mark and I both tried very hard to have them always feel like they were brother and sister.

I always loved this picture, because it is one of many that shows what I mean.

This was at a pool at a campsite that used to be near here- it is now closed …. Yep, we tried to make weekends special…. we had a pop-up camper and would take them camping on weekends when our schedules allowed. Sometimes it seems like just yesterday, but it was a while ago.

So tomorrow we once again will all be together. The time will be way too fast, and all way special. Life is short, we have one chance at each minute. and tomorrow, I am going to try to make every minute a treasure. Whatever you finish your weekend with, I hope you too treasure the gift each minute is.

Until later… Mrs Justa alias Cindy

 

When the pieces all fit in place.

I love when things come together, when all the elements of what could be, with the potential of it turning out good, or not so good and after all is said and done- well it came out to be okay.

This past weekend was just like that for me ( well for all of us I hope). We had the fortune to have my sister and her husband here for 5 days, and 3 of our grandchildren here for an overnight and a full day, and a family gathering on Saturday at our sons home, and my friend from High School here for Thanksgiving day.

I mentioned in the last post that our weekend was coming to an end. Well, now it is totally in the rear view mirror of life. The kids are back with their parents, the gatherings have all come and gone, my sister, her husband and my friend from high school have all made it home safely, and Mark and I are here with Riley. We have gone from a lot of actions to settling back down to the normal life we have.

It was fun, it was interesting at times, the kids were unbelievably great, we laughed, we played, we learned new games, we shared ideas…… we got to share family time at Jeff and Amanda’s with my siblings and their families members who could attend. Times when I wasn’t sure that things would go smoothly ( specifically the cooking of the Thanksgiving Dinner- that is always a crap-shoot because the Turkey rules- yep — dinner is not ready till the turkey is). All in all, though it went well.  Lessons learned include: cooking a boneless 3 lb turkey breast in a crockpot is awesome;  and pre-cooking the stuffing, sweet potatoes and pies worked very well.

As the dust settles, all the laundry is done and put away, the spare beds tucked away and folded chairs back in the storage area- I can head into the Christmas mode.

I hope you find magic as the days of December come and go.

Until later- Mrs Justa alias Cindy

 

 

 

“Times of our Lives”

There was a very popular song from the mid-1970s that Paul Anka had done and Kodak used it as an advertising jingle. The lyrics are very meaningful to me- and as I take photographs and look at photos from times gone by, as I reminisce on times captured in the Windows or my mind and heart, well this melody and its’  words- it plays in my head.

“Good morning, yesterday
You wake up and time has slipped away
And suddenly it’s hard to find
The memories you left behind
Remember, do you remember?

The laughter and the tears
The shadows of misty yesteryears
The good times and the bad you’ve seen
And all the others in between
Remember, do you remember
The times of your life? ………..

Reach out for the joy and the sorrow
Put them away in your mind
The memories are times that you borrow
To spend when you get to tomorrow

The seasons are passing one by one
So gather moments while you may
Collect the dreams you dream today
…….. will you remember
The times of your life?

……….
Do you remember the times of your life?”

For me, as this weekend with family enters its last day and a half, the moments already created and those yet to come, I want to remember the laughter, the realization that we were all placed in the places we are now, because of the roads we have traveled. My wish is that everyone has those moments, those “TImes of Your Life”, that can play over and over again as the days become moments in our journey, little monuments or landscapes.

Until later, Mrs. Justa alias Cindy

 

Having a spouse with Bipolar Disorder

       I am sitting here listening to nothing but the hum of the modem next to me. The dog is sleeping and Mark has just said he was going to bed. I am tired, yet not feeling like I can get to bed quite yet. These last 4 months have been anything but easy for me or for Mark either. He has been diagnosed with Bipolar disorder for a long time. I am trying to pinpoint the actual diagnosis and I think it was around 2004. Before the diagnosis, there were times of extreme energy, and extreme “insight”, extreme anger, enlightening, followed by significant depression and paranoia sometimes on both sides of the spectrum.

  After the diagnosis, as we looked in the rearview mirror of our life, we realized that the times of behaviors that were not his normal self-were most likely  cycling through mania or depressions, and we could pretty much pinpoint the cycling was once every 4-5 yrs, and through the years it became more frequent, cyclical and seemed to be certain months/seasons each year.  After the diagnosis and medical treatment, 3 hospitalizations, and after trying a few types of medications, the docs for the meds that worked for him. Meds that helped to control the highs from getting too high and the lows from getting too low.

Well, this last manic episode, the current one, has been going on for 4 months, and it has been probably the most fluctuating, and high energy one yet. There have been quick decisions, fast changes, to the point that from one moment to the next it can feel like the direction changed  360 degrees. Now I am not saying the changes (as I step back and look are bad, )they are just rapid, and for a non-manic person, it is really exhausting.  I am doing my best to keep up with the latest changes, and I think when everything settles down, we won’t regret the changes, but he will be looking at it like he ran a 1000 mile marathon, and with his disabilities, that would be an impossible feat.      (  This photo represents the speed and number of thoughts and changes these last 4 months have been like )

Everything he has done, he has learned, he has made happen has been with the best of intention. To secure our future, our kids future, and their kids future. It has been 4 months of very little sleep, learning about how investing works, evaluating and adjusting our vehicle situation, thinking about where we live and where we may want to live in years to come, reaching out to family he had not spoken to in a very long time, realizing life is precious, and analyzing every nook and cranny of our life. He has not meant to, but cannot stop talking at times, assuming how an interaction will go that has not yet happened and having conversations with that person before the event even materializes ( if it ever will)

So that is why I am here typing,  the silence right now is priceless. I love him to pieces, and I am sure he has no idea how many words he can say in a short period of time, or how all the things that make sense to him, are hard to process for me, as his mouth cannot keep up with his mind or his thoughts. I read an article on being in a marriage with a Bipolar spouse, and one of the things mentioned is to deep breathe, well I have been a deep breather for a long time, but I have taken it to new levels, my lungs have got to be the clearest they have ever been.  All of the symptoms mentioned he has displayed, and FINALLY, I feel we are starting to calm the symptoms down. It has got to do a number on his body, the non stop everything, the emotions from ecstatic to such anger and rage, the lack of sleep, the continuing fast pace of his brain, and feeling like he is in a fog at times, that all has to take a toll on one’s body.

  HE tries frequently to take off for a bit to give me a break, and even though it is nice he does that, the mania can contribute to more new ideas, more changes. He will take his kindle and cell phone and head off to the library, or Dunkin Donuts and work on things he is doing there.

His doctor just doubled his one medication, and that is slowly working so he can sleep through the night. Last night was the first night he slept more than 2-3 hrs. Yeah, I think he actually slept for 7 hrs last night. I too was sleeping, as it has been a ride and a half. He said he does not feel as scattered or spinning as he has been. He tries to appreciate my needs during the day, but it is not easy for him.    I have learned many times over that Bipolar is not able to be managed without professional care. That med management or therapy might each work, but for the best care, you need both. The therapist should be one who understands bipolar disorder and also how it affects people in different phases of their life. As a person ages, the disorder takes on different characteristics, at least that is what I am witnessing.

 The internet is such a wealth of information, and there are forums and support groups for anything you can think of, BUT I do feel the internet can also be a trigger for the mania to be refed as it is trying to slow down. There is so much coming at us from all kinds of areas, it can be a blessing and a curse at the same time.

So as I sit here in silence, I am thankful he can sleep, I am spending some time praying, talking to God, I am trying to gather my thoughts and I am thankful for all the positive things that have happened and also thankful for the support of our family members who have been there through all of this. It has not been easy, not for me, or for him. Thank God for our children, for our grandkids, for his mom, for our children’s spouses, for our friends who understand and for our church.

 One of the MANY things that have been accomplished in a very short period of time, is he signed up for a domain name and will have a website up and running hopefully in a few weeks. We need to take time to dedicate solely to that, to design the web pages and have the platform for him, for me, for others to post on and for him to share some of his thoughts, some of his experiences, some of him that is what makes him the incredible person that he is. So be watching for his blogs to start on his very own website in weeks to come.  There will be things written, that come from his mind through his hands and end up as words on the screen, things that I do not know, things that show what makes him who he is.      So thanks for reading this, thanks for your time. Say a prayer that the meds will continue to slow him down a bit so he can see the world,  so he can stop and hear things being said, so he can stop and see all the gifts God gives us every single minute, every single breath, every single day.

Until later….                                     Mrs Justa  is signing off.

 

 

 

Mrs Justa and Family reunion part 2

After we came back from the first family reunion, which was my side of the family,3 weeks later  we went to a camp site North East of Lockport NY and had our family reunion with our kids and our kids kids.

This is the 2nd year we have done this and it is really nice to do it.

We can focus on one another and being less people it is a great way for the cousins to play together and our kids to spend time together.

Life is so darn short, life is so darn busy, we just do not get together enough. We were there for 2 full days, leaving on the third day in the morning. As I look back at the time I think I was most moved by just watching the interactions and realizing that all of this could not have been possible without Marks and my children. Adrianne and her kids came out on the 1st full day we were there for an afternoon and evening, her husband unfortunately was not feeling good and could not make it. She said maybe next year she will plan to camp the full time too… It was awesome to spend time with them.

The other part that was special to me was some one on one time I was able to spend with Emily. Emily is now 16 and being a teen is not easy ever, I think it is tougher in 2013 than it was when I was a teen. Emily is a smart young lady and she has a pretty good sense of humor. I just like spending time with her. That was special.

I also love time with our kids and their spouses, it is so neat to watch them interact, like they just saw each other the day before, we did miss Josh though. The time separated seems to disappear. And their kids – our grandkids are funny to watch. Jeff and Amanda’s kids are 3 and almost 5 and Adrianne and Josh’s kids are almost 2 and 4. So they go right up the totem pole of toddler ages. They walked around, they rode bikes, they watched as we tried to fly kites, they played until they dropped with exhaustion. The magic of the fire, the wonder of the sunset, the toasting of s’mores, the memories are priceless.

I feel blessed to have this opportunity and I look back at all the bumps in the road, the hills of life climbed, the slopes sometimes slipped on—they all led us to here. And ya know what— every tear, every smile, every wonder, every pray— it was all worth it.

Until the next post…. hang on to the blessings that come before you..watch for the simplest things that mean so much. Love to all, Mrs Justa alias Cindy

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Mrs Justa and a unique situation at the family reunion

One of the things that the boys did was come over to our site and use sidewalk chalk and draw on our driveway. We moved our truck down to give them room and kind of create a boundary line form the park road.

They decided to draw emergency vehicles… the top big one is a police car, the middle was an ambulance and the bottom one became a fire truck.

a little later on I needed to move the truck back up in the driveway about 5 feet. Then I was going to go in the camper and get stuff ready for dinner . The boys wanted to join me. Being the truck is pretty high up in the air, I told the boys they had to get in the truck and I would move it. ( That way I did not have to worry they were in the driveway as I moved it.)

From LONG ago— if I had a kid in a vehicle, before I closed the door I would say—“Hands on heads” ( that way the fingers were not going to be in the door frame… ) So I had the boys pop up in the truck on the passengers side and I said “Hands on heads..” I saw they were both doing that and I closed the door. I moved quickly to the drivers side and opened the door…I had to laugh as Brandon said “ Gamma how long do we have to hold our heads?”

After taking the photo, I released them from position !!

Camping is a time to remember that you have places things go, and they need to get back in their place when you are done with them. You want to make sure what ever it is, that you have what you need and know where it is…

Like the shower stuff goes in a tote bag, you go to the shower, almost methodically take things out in a certain order, and put them back after. I was a little anal with the shower, wanting to make sure it was clean when I got in and clean for the next person. So on the tote bag, in a pocket was a spray bottle of Mr Clean and a squeegee. I really did not mind spraying it before and after, and felt that I was helping somewhat to make it more comfortable.

Now that I am on the other side of this rather weird experience… I can laugh …so here goes…..  on Weds….it was hot and humid, so I decided to wear capri pants that day. Well I  wanted to get my A.M shower and thought that I should shave my legs, so I  made sure I packed the razor—along with all the other stuff… I went over and cleaned the shower, turned on the HOT water..ahhh…. got the razor out and went about my business, when all of the sudden I felt a stinging… I cut my leg !! ( I had not done that since I was 13 !!!) So here I am… all I have is my soap, a scrunggie, shampoo, Mr Clean, clean clothes, my dirty clothes, a white towel and a squeegee. So I am frantically spraying the shower , trying to hold my leg up in mid air and press on the area, as hot water is pouring down on me, wondering how the heck I am going to get from the shower to the camper. I still had to wash my hair—so I did that on one leg- the other kinda swinging back and forth in the air, my body swaying with it…. occasionally needing to grip the wall and I am envisioning me totally loosing my balance and falling out of the shower with my less than taut wet body slapping on the floor..and who knows who would be standing there looking at me… fortunately that did not happen- . But I was still in a predicament – see if I lowered my leg it was going to bleed- so I am trying to maneuver around in this rather precarious position. I knew no one in there..and was thinking ( my mind was like a slot machine –tick tick ticking..) I am looking at my clothes, my white towel and finally came up with tying my slightly used underwear around my leg like a tourniquet and hobbling back to the camper.  I was relieved to see I had not brought my capris there—for the underwear would have been showing as it soaked up the blood… as I walked back. It was a definite Girl Scout move !!.   I slowly dried off my body, quickly towel dried my hair, did the Mr Clean squeegee process—all as I wobbled on one leg…. then back to the camper.. Oh I can assure you that I carefully stepped ..as I did not my make shift tourniquet to fall off on the pathway… I got in the camper—and put on a rather tight band aid, shared my experience with Mark… and chuckled at the what could have beens as I rinsed out the blood…

Looking at my leg today- I am amazed my process kept it from bleeding—I did not nick it.. I skinned it about 1 1/2 inches long !!. dang !! No wonder it stung… HA.. the joys if improvising..the joys of camping…I love camping… but think my bath bag will now include band aids.. LOL.. Have a great night..more family reunion thoughts to come again soon… Love to all, Mrs Justa alias Cindy

Technorati Tags: life,lessons. love.,creativitiy,thoughts,improvising,challenges,laughter,pain

 

Mrs Justa and the 2013 family reunion post number 1

Well another year has past for our family reunion. I am from a family of 9 brothers and sisters, one sister has died and our parents are both deceased. We live in various parts of the country and we try really hard to get together. This year there were some of us, not all of us. This year we went back to the State Park my mom had chosen so many years ago. It was really not bad, we got heavy rain one evening, but the base of the fire was strong enough to withstand the rain and light up some more logs. It was neat to see the cousins spend time together. Wish my brothers who could not make it had… it was strange not to have them and their families there. We were missing some nieces and nephews and their kids….

We had no cell phone coverage, we had electric on the sites and public bathrooms. Some people tented, some had trailers, some hoteled it….  all seemed to have a good time.

As we entered the weekend and started to observe things, we came to realize there was a passing of the baton so to speak. When we started to go to this part- we were in our 30s and our kids were 7 . Now we are some  of the elders and our kids have kids of their own. Jeff and Amanda became the dinner site- we all gather together for dinner, a dish to pass and eat our meals, talk, laugh and end it with a nice campfire and s’mores and memories being created.

Adrianne has not been to a reunion for years- but I bet she would like to sometime in the future.. she had mentioned tenting it at some point with her family… and heck if they are more on the line of hotel people, there are some people who do stay in hotels. One year we rented a cabin off site and one year we rented a cabin in a town near by….—that is an option too,.….their kids will be a better age next year… hmmm….maybe they will come too.

The transition was subtle at first, but became more apparent as the clock ticked to 10 PM and Mark and I were headed to the camper to call it a night… leaving behind the 30 something year olds and the younger cousins. Yikes.. we were the “older relatives” who went to bed early…

The kids seemed to totally love the camping experience, and I have to admit I soaked in watching their smiles, there sense of adventure, and looking at how totally exhausted they got from being outdoors, from going “creeking” and from building sand castles.

I thought about all the electronic devices and the automation we have in our homes- and even though they are nice… … (as Mark says to the boys… _)

“this is living… it doesn’t get any better than this !”

And ya know what he is right!. Regardless of our various challenges in life,

Technorati Tags: camping,family reunion,life,changes,transition,memories,sisters,brothers,spouses,children.,rustic

regardless of our stressors our hectic sometimes lives… when we got here—the waters smoothed, the days were peaceful, the experience was something I am so glad we got to share…the only regrets are the people who could not be there…. but than again –we do have next year !!.

So I am off…. kinda chilling tonight…. reminiscing …feeling blessed. Love to all… Mrs Justa alias Cindy,

 

Mrs Justa and a “gem” found…. and lost…..

A Sunday morning ride,

a search for something different,

a seeking to find a hidden gem for

breakfast in Oswego.

As we were driving north into the city of Oswego, out of the corner of my eye I saw a place that looked like it might have been a small quaint place.

We headed north thinking we would go to the restaurant that is off the side of a hotel and over looks the Oswego River. But alas.. it does not open for breakfast, so we headed back down south a bit and I asked Mark to drive past this place I saw.

We found it… and yes it was a small Mom and POP restaurant… We went inside , there were maybe a total of 5 booths…. a counter that was like the old ice cream parlors…. memorabilia hanging on the walls.. We thought we had found the perfect spot.

We got to sit in a booth after they cleaned it up from the last people. They had fairly full  menus, and coffee,  and prices not bad.

We each ordered an omelet… Marks vegetable, mine bacon and cheddar( well done). I ordered Italian bread and if they did not have any—than wheat would do. Mark went for a biscuit. It took quite a long time to get our order… and as we sat there sipping our coffee and observing our surroundings… we both silently were thinking this was going from good ..to not so good. There was a 6.99 breakfast buffet ( that is what they called it ) which consisted of 4 different  aluminum banquet pans with just one burner under them ( it could have had 2-3. 0 In the hour plus we had sat there NO ONE had done anything with the food in these containers… no stirring, no replacing, no checking for if it needed replacing or stirring.

Finally our meal came out and I poked my omelet ( I always check my eggs to make sure they are well done… and white goop came out… uuuck !!! In times like this…..I always have to find my inner self control button.. because I felt like throwing up!. The toast was buttered when the toast was already was cold, the food was not really warm. And I got Italian and wheat toast. In my mind I am thinking … “GO ahead..eat the eggs… do not complain…. … just grow up!!” and than there is another part stating “ Do not get sick, have it cooked thoroughly” Mark flagged down the rather stressed out waitress and asked if they could cook the eggs more—I requested  it well done. They took it back, flipped it on the grill for a mega second..and brought it back…. and from then on—she was not smiling at us any more… it was like we were the enemy.The omelet  was not really much better…so I left it and wolfed down the toast..and the spare toast… and to top it off… we had to rush home after because it gave us both the “I GOTTA GO NOWS”

I gotta tell ya…. it is 9 hrs later now..and I am still kinda queasy… What is so darn hard about cooking eggs totally? Needless to say.. the “gem” we thought we found was not!!!.

Than this afternoon I was thrilled that the weather held up, sunny, warm… got to work on the area under the sign for our development we live in…

 

All in all… even with the yucky omelet… this weekend was ducky… Hope you had a good weekend too… Love to all Mrs. Justa alias Cindy

Technorati Tags: breakfast,life,new,gem,hope,restaurant,sun,warm.

 

Mrs Justa and Spring trying to Spring

A true sign of warmer weather breathing down our necks.. the camper is coming home from storage today.

We had it at a B&C Storage place that has 3 sided, roofed enclosures. The trailer looks great..so it was worth the $$ to do it.
Next year we have bought a cover for it and will see how it fairs a winter outside but covered. IT IS EXPENSIVE to store these things!. About 700.00 a year. So hopefully the cover will suffice for a couple years and we can save $$ from storing it.

This has been an interesting last few weeks for me, it kind of feels like everything is happening fast in life. Lots to do, the world spins quicker… guess maybe it is just because at work we are busy, lots of changes, lots of new things, lots of work.

Home we are trying a new budget system and trying to make sure while entering info on the budget that we are remembering to do the bank stuff too—well sometimes it feels like I am missing something.

We ordered one of those”Flex hoses” the kind that fits in the palm of your hand and supposedly shrinks into a ball when not in use… We did go out and play with it a little.. it is not quite as dramatic as the commercial..but it does shrink up to about 1/4 its size… Maybe we are just not totally professional with it yet…

We have the camper in the driveway and it will be probably  about 6 weeks before we are back camping again. We decided to grass seed the garden…. and go to the farmers market instead. There is nothing more disappointing than anticipating a crop… and than have squash bores and tomato blithe take away a good percentage of the garden… It is fun to go out and pick what we need..but it is time consuming and I do not think our soil is enriched with the right  nutrients  for a garden.

Tomorrow Is TacO Ring Day….

It is a new recipe.. hopefully it comes out as good as this looks…

I will post a photo of our masterpiece… if it is photogenic.

I am SOOOO glad Winter is pretty much behind us.. the snow totals were much more than last year…

 

 

 

Redfield got 4 feet of snow in one storm a couple weeks ago.. before that I think we were close to them—which is unusual..as they usually get lots more than we do…

 

Today we emptied our push salter… we put all but one shovel away… unplugged the heat tape…..and moved the park bench from next to the house wall to the front yard… NOOOOWWWWW if we could just move the temps up about 20 degrees… than I will truly believe SPRING has SPRUNG…

Love to all, Mrs Justa alias Cindy

Technorati Tags: Spring,life,anticipation,camping,lessons. love.,cold,warm. taco ring

 

Mrs. Justa and HAPPY EASTER>>>

Feels great..sunshine, changing the drapes, cleaning, snow going away, tomorrow I want to do yard clean up… ahhh another winter is slowly leaving. This photo is last Easter… wonder if the snow will be all gone this Easter???

I am kinda glad for today. I finally felt good enough to deep clean. The past 6 weeks I had been knocked down and dragged out by an upper respiratory infection that really kicked my ever moving butt.

Today is the first day I have had some energy. We were going to have Jeff, Amanda and the boys come out for a new recipe Easter Meal—totally non traditional… but the boys are sick, and Jeff has to work… so we changed the meal ideas to burgers on the grill and veggies… and will catch up on our DVRed programs later…Hope the lil guys feel better soon…. .

As life goes on, I have come to appreciate feeling good… cuz when I feel lousy—I feel super lousy. I want to take time and start going through some boxes of stuff I have packed and sort what is really important and what is not.

When people can live in a car…. camper….. they have really sorted out all their stuff… I am definitely a ways from living in a camper!. But what things really will mean anything to any one else after I am gone? What things would just end up tossed in a dumpster- without anyone knowing it’s significance? Not that I plan on dying soon… but life does not go on forever! But there are a few boxes we moved in here,,, and no one has touched since…. so they have my sights on them…

I am thrilled with spring time, no garden this year… time for camping…. Riley is better, I feel good… Mark is getting a second opinion FINALLY on his neck pain/dizziness…….and tomorrow is Easter…. church in the AM… and than we are going to cook a small turkey breast, and just enjoy each others company. Maybe get a walk in…

maybe hit Oswego and watch a sunset appear….

Thank God… I am feeling alive again…. this past 6 weeks SUCKED!!. Love to all, Mrs Justa alias Cindy

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Mrs Justa and some thoughts….

As the days get lighter and the temperatures try to rise some, I am comforted by the signs that we have made it through another winter. This year we can not say it was a mild winter ! We probably have another month of snow potential..but than the camper will come home from storage and our spring time summer time  will begin.

The times of our life are made in memories of days gone by, memories of trials that situations have created and by hopes for many tomorrows. I was thinking about life , and special times, and memories, and what makes memories stay in our minds. As a kid I remember the games we would play together, like huck-abuck-a bean stock, or the card game war, or rummy, or go fish. Hide and seek and red light green light, simon says, I remember making tents out of sheets and sleeping on the floor, I remember staying up late to play a game , and the feeling of falling asleep after being tucked into bed and given a hug.

This past weekend we were blessed with Brandon and Preston for a day and a half. Oh we made a tent out of the dining room table, a king sized sheet, a blanket, and hauling in toys and books and little lanterns.

We baked mini banana muffins, we cooked meals together, we did house hold chores, and had cuddle time. We played games, did puzzles, and ate dinner late one night, stayed up late because we ate dinner late, we watched some TV and sat and talked about things.

It cost nothing in money, yet was priceless in memories and time spent.

It was a great weekend. Oh we had some brother squabbles, some whining at times… but it was all good.

As they left, saying their goodbyes, ( in French because we taught them “auvoir” ) I was wondering if some of these moments are etched in their minds, to surface again in years to come.

I look at the kids and think how quickly they have grown , it seems like only a few days ago Brandon was in the NICU… and we were excited to meet him… Preston was just a twinkle in his parents eyes… as were Mackenzie and Caleb….

and now they are 4,3,2,and 1!!!…. Pretty soon they will be all in school..before we know it..and I just hope the memories are kept close to them..as my child hood memories are close to me.

I am feeling fulfilled from the weekend and the fun being a grandma is…. I love when a child says “ I love you gramma..” it just melts my heart…

Life is good… there are not so good times,,, sad times,,, but all those times have got me here…and here is ok.. We are not money rich..but we are rich with special moments.

I hope you too have some. Love to all Mrs Justa alias Cindy

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Mrs Justa and a year gone by…

As  the year comes to an end in another day…

It seems that the boys were just screaming HAPPY NEW YEAR yesterday..but in reality—it was a year ago….

I seems like I am still in my 30s… but that was a LONGGGG time ago…

no regrets really… for I truly believe life happens the way it does for reasons….

I look back at all the events of this past year.

Many famous people died, tragic shootings, an election came and went  that totally surprised me, and feeling thankful that I have a job in a time when so many do not.

This year we got to witness our grandchildren growing, and we got to connect in a personal way with our “birth” grand daughter who has grown up to be a beautiful young lady. Her adoptive parents were generous enough to let us spend some time with her. Time which was so precious to my heart.

We have had crazy weather, a Hurricane that really did phenomenal damage to the Northeast Coast. We watched as the space program took it’s last voyage. We wept with those suffering from violence and we smiled at those who achieved their goals.

We watched our niece get her license, we camped more. We got to share time at the family reunion with a part of our family, and we witnessed 2 couples wed.

We lost weight , we gained weight, we had a semi successful garden, and disappointments from it too. We adopted a dog, and we found a true companion. We witnessed the affects an abusive past can have on a dog, and have worked very hard with her , so she can trust life will be okay.

Yes as 2012 leaves and 2013 comes in, the fear of the future of our country lingers in my mind….and the hope that people can come together for the better of all of us.

I hope the media starts to focus on the good and not the ugly. We should know not the evil ones… we should know those who bring good.

Happy New Year to all…. I hope you find happiness as the New Year comes to our doorsteps in less than 48 hrs. !!.AS I look back, I am thankful… and I am looking forward to all the goodness next year can bring. Love to all. Mrs Justa, alias Cindy

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Mrs Justa and Stronger than BULL

Have you ever been so afraid that the fear takes over you?

And what caused you to have that reaction? What things could have happened to make you so scared?

I ask myself that over and over again as we try to work with Riley and her almost Godzilla strength when she starts to freak out. As I posted a couple of posts ago—we had to d/c the big open crate and go with the solid crate.

Well, she was in the crate Thurs evening for a few hours… actually what we know is she was put in the crate at 5:30… We returned at 8:30 and she met us at the front door… Somehow..she got the door backwards, over the stopper that is supposed to keep it from going backwards into the crate,

How she got the 2 spring loaded posts out of their designated holes for locking the door..and how she got the door to go over the molded door stoppers… I will never know.

We had to take the entire crate apart to get the door back in the correct area. !

SOOO. I have wiped it down, we have taken it apart and we are trying her in the house with out being crated.

Riley is the most gentle , non aggressive dog we have ever come across. SO I can not imagine how she can bend the crates…

It really urks me how someone could have neglected or abused her before she was found and brought to the pound.

 

This was Riley the day we brought her home.

She was not sure what way her life was turning. She did not know us, she could not tell us where she had been or what she had gone through.

But when we called her name..she cowered and belly crawled…

She has come a long way… now she looks at us differently now.

She loves her sweater….

We got it for her because she gets cold outside,. We got her a second one today.. a Christmas one with white fake fur on it !!

At least her eyes are not so sad anymore.

And today we tested her in the house for an hr. She appears to have done okay. The electric collar keeps her from barking…and that seems to keep her calmer.

The kids love her..she loves the kids…

Hopefully we will be able to have her crate free..

And although it is not right to wish evil thoughts on people….whoever owned this precious dog before and treated her poorly… whoever let her go…dropped her off… whatever they did to have her be labeled a stray…. well I hope you pay for your cruelty you did to her.

And also.. thanks for being jerks… we have an awesome dog because of YOU!!!!.

I am off to pet our dog now….

Love to all. Mrs Justa alias Cindy…

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Mrs Justa and the Holiday Season… love it

The Holiday time seems different each year.

Some things always fill my heart with smiles. Like going around and looking at peoples decorations.

This house has been amazing for the last few years. I can not wait to go check it out again.

This was in 2010 …………………….

 

 

 

The year I took this ( Dec 2011) , as we were driving by… we stopped and came across this sign.

 

 

 

someone had stolen one of their inflatable yard ornaments..but these people did not lose faith though. Someone else came and replaced it for them. They have a can to put non perishables in for a local food pantry. They are people who give to others they do not know by decorating and collecting.

As a grandparent—it is warming for me to know our kids are with their kids opening gifts in the morning and spending those special times together. I always felt Christmas morning was a private time, a personal time for the parents and their children or for the couple with their life. My mom never demanded Mark and I be at her house in the morning with the kids… we gathered together on Christmas eve…

Christmas is a time to be thankful for those you share your day to day life with. Over the years I have watched as friends have gone through the turmoil of trying to balance between grandparent houses..Worrying about whose house you have to be at, or who you have to plan on entertaining on Christmas morn. I swore I would never be that demanding parent/grandparent.. And I do not think I have been—nor will I ever be.

Now we are older… our kids are grown and have kids of their own..Christmas is a different kind of special. It still has it’s same meaning… but it is Mark and I… we have no alarm clock… we have a quiet breakfast… sip on our hot beverage of tea or coffee..and just enjoy the time of being. I am so thankful we had all the years of having our kids excitement flow over a quick breakfast but I do not feel cheated now..life is chapters in our books of life. Nothing stays the same. Oh there are constants in life… like watching ITs A Wonderful Life…and Decorating for Christmas… and sending cards…baking special cookies, making special gifts….and I totally love the happiness I feel around –it is a time a solitude, a time of appreciating what we have—no matter how much or little.

I no longer feel pressured by buying things..we do it gradually..Mark and I actually go out together and chose a gift or 2 for ourselves..and wrap it and than we open it on Christmas morning. One year we did it way before Christmas..and when we went to open them.. we forgot what we bought ourselves!.

I love Christmas carols when it is closer to Christmas… I love church and the amazing scripture of Mary and Joseph and Jesus. I just can not begin to explain how much I love the season. I feel so blessed to be able to live in a country where people can decorate, where people can freely go from neighborhood to neighborhood enjoying the lights and decorations. I love that we have had Christmas magic when we were children, when we had children and now with grandchildren.

It is truly a special time of the year for me.

I hope you can go look at decoration where you live..and hope you feel the magic of the season….. My love to all.. Mrs Justa alias Cindy.

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Mrs Justa and a journey through time

My life… I sat on the floor in the corner of this room, looking for something specific. And to my surprise I found much more than I intended to. The bottom two shelves are the photos and music of my life….

I was looking for a picture of a lady I work with. She is retiring in a couple of weeks and this photo was from when I met her, back in 1989. She oriented me to hospital nursing. She and I have had our paths cross for years on end, and then for a bit we may work in different places..but we never lost contact.. And times along the way we end up back in the same place again. She is a special lady. As I looked for this one photo I ran across my life. Things that have been pigeon holed in places in my mind.

It is funny how a photograph can bring you back to that year. It can make you remember a smell, or a breeze, or a sense of wonder . It brings back a feeling of being special, or discovering a place you had never been to before. It also can bring back a feeling of loss, or pain. It reminds you of relationships, of stages of youth, of people who have left this temporary home on earth to go to their destination. It kind of reminds us we are alive.

To relive these moments, to watch my little guy and Marks little girl grow up in photos. To  see their kids growing up…

To realize that even thought it seems the years have flown by..those photo albums on the lower 2 shelves represent miles of life’s highway. The whale watches, the camping trips, the mini vacations Jeff and I took, the whale watches that Jeff ,Mark and I went on, the seemingly endless precious weekends that Jeff and Adrianne got to share with us, the evolving of my family from me being a baby to having all my brothers and sisters, smiles, reunions, marriages, births and deaths. All in-between sunsets and sunrises..each one different.

And as I soaked in the memories as they came to life.. I thought about how lucky we are to live in this country. The unrest in other parts of the world.. I wonder if these people have good memories. Have they stopped to see the beauty of the world? My heart says they have missed a lot of the soft sides of life… for they carry around such anger and hatred.

Yes … my journey through time that has been, it has  reminded me that I have been truly blessed. I thank God for that, over and over again.

I hope you have memories of your life captured somewhere. Stop and take a moment to remember. Good night all. Mrs Justa alais Cindy

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Mrs Justa and Caleb is one..I can not believe it !!

Our youngest grandson has hit the big 1. Yep a year old. He has a smile that is contagious. He has red hair that is almost orange, and his curiosity is very prominent.

I am not sure if this will be the youngest grand child or not..but for now he holds that title.

Adrianne and Josh put on a party for his and despite the severe thunder storms, a house full of people, a power failure… they pulled it off. It got a little crowded in the house and so we did retreat to the garage that they had set up some tables and chairs for people to sit in. It was cooler and the kids had room to romp around in the garage some.

It is tough when the intention is to plan a huge party and entertain outside.. Outside the crowd seems less than when everyone ends up in the house. But Adrianne and Josh smiled through it all, and the party went on.  If it had been me… I do not think I would have been as calm and cool and collected that those two are.

We had  nice time, it is always neat to see the kids and the kid’s kids. I wish we all lived closer..but in the whole scheme of things an hour or so apart is not that far.

We went up to Oswego the next night for a sunset. And it is so weird to think that I know not how many sunsets are left to see. Mark had made that comment to me. It is kinda like when I write about the miles in my rear view mirror of life are a lot farther back than the miles I have yet to travel. I think I could take photos of sunsets every night and I would still be in awe at them. They are dramatic to me, they are a statement of the insignificance we each are when we look at the world as a whole. Than to think we see all of this as we exist on the outside of a sphere… kind of fascinating….

Life is so full of outstanding sites to see. And to me the sun rising and setting is right up there. A beginning to a day or  tucking a day in to the bed of the memory books. No matter when they happen, they are breathtaking. I love the colors, the brilliance, the ever changing formations. And I wonder if in way, if I too bring some color to peoples lives at times. Do any of us?

In this crazy world of rushing and ups and downs… we need to stop and make a difference in others lives. That is what living is for. Love to all. Mrs Justa alais Cindy

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Mrs Justa and commitments

Weddings…hopefully a special time….no matter how long you have known the person you are marrying..it is a moment when you make a promise in front of God, perhaps family and friends… saying that you are committing to share the REST of your life with that person.

It should not be taken lightly..it should be a decision that comes to becoming a reality because of knowing the other person is your soulmate.  it should not be to make a statement to the world that you can marry whomever… or a feeling that you are being forced to make the promise when your knowings and feelings are not agreeing that you should. Marriage is a time for new beginnings.  This weekend we are going to watch one of our nieces become a wife to a man she loves.It was so neat witnessing our kids marry the person of their dreams… their soul mates…

Weddings need to be personalized…

and she has worked with her fiancé to make this a wedding that fits their personalities—their life.

It is a special day, and it is a moment of life changing decisions… but those life changing decisions can be made in any environment. It is the promise the two people are making that matters. I have driven by weddings where people have a number of Limos, what appears to be 20 or so people in their wedding party, dresses that look like they cost each bridesmaid well over 200.00 a piece… I have heard people say they want to have a fairy tale wedding… I understand that in a way—the fantasy of a little girl—never let go of and trying to make it real.  But in reality—it is that few seconds when each says their vow to the other…when each says I DO…. that is what matters.

So for our niece..I hope she takes time to enjoy the moment of commitment..and that she knows that everything else will be as it will be. We can not plan the weather…we can not predict who will be there or not….we can not predict a lot… but we can predict that before the sunsets on Saturday evening..she will be Mrs..and not Miss or Ms…

I love romantic ..happy ….endings.  Love to all. Mrs Justa alias Cindy

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Mrs Justa and the Olympic moves

Whoa, we had a great weekend. But I gotta admit I started it out definitely in the spirit of the Olympics. LMAO.

Ok.. I am not the most svelte person on earth.. Actually I am probably the furthest from it. Saturday morning EARLY we needed to walk Riley. So I got my shower at about 6:15 and had Riley hooked up and ready for the early morning, dew on the grass walk..the one where I tell her a zillion times to go potty.. ( like she is going to go on command) ..as we were heading to Cracker Barrel for our traditional Saturday morning breakfast with our friends.

Well… I stepped down off our front steps..looking at the leash and totally ignoring the new asphalt sidewalk.and the ground next to it that was dug out and now created a “V” shape… and I stepped in the V and somehow became an Olympic Gymnast wanna be in a split second.

Oh yeah…. kinda like the feeling when you are doing gym class and having to do those run and leap stunts on the mat…but I had no mat… I am not fit and trim…and I have not been in a gym class like that for 43 years ….. One second I am walking..the next I am flying in the air.. Somehow I was able to float a bit… twist to the left ( as to avoid the asphalt) ….landing on my left side..dew splashing up in the air.. leash TIGHT in hand…as I hit the grass I did a roll to the left…ending up on my back..staring at what would have been the early morning sky..had it not been for Riley licking my face and staring at me…

I remember that first moment of realizing I was lying in the grass… it was one of those moments when ya slowly move this and that making sure everything is still attached to where it needed to be…. once that is assured..than wondering who the heck just saw this very athletic maneuver…and than having the realization that I had to get up off the ground… I did get up..brushed myself off..walked the dog..she did both—– I think I scared the poop out of her…

I felt lucky… UNTIL SUNDAY MORNING>>>>when I came to realize the 24 hrs after an accident pain… Oh yeah…. the mid Right back area…on the right…oooo hurts to twist…. hurts to bend… dang hurts to lift my leg too high… GRRRRR> So I told the boys they had to help me… for Preston if a diaper needed changing it was being done on the higher bed in the house…. no lifting the boys… but I could sit with them .

Today..at work the pain was around an 8..in the kidney area..so I went to the docs. Wanted to make sure it was not a coincidence and the pain was not from my Olympic moves..but kidney related… So I was sent in to leave a urine sample… Now 2 hrs prior to this appnt—I had taken B6 and Magnesium..so I pee in the sterile cup..put the cap on it..set it on the table in the bathroom..and realize my pee is dayglow lime green yellow !!!! All the other folks urine was darkish yellow..not mine—it looked like it was some sort of glow in the dark liquid.. CAN YOU SAY EMBARRASSED !!!!. No one said anything to me… but I was chuckling to myself at the difference between mine and the other 3 …. bet they wear protective gear when they culture mine..like it is a nuclear substance or something.

So heat, try some stuff at the gym tomorrow, Motrin, and time…. THANK GOD my kidneys are looking okay!.

I am off to take a hot shower and put some of that romantic smelling Ben Gay LMAO…. on my soft tissue area that hurts… and head off to bed….

Tomorrow is going to be here before I know it…… I need to get in there early… Love to all.. Mrs Justa alias Cindy

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