May 2009


Can you say proud as a peacock? Well I gotta tell you, this little guy was pretty damned proud of himself last night. Grandma and Grandpa Krusen got to stay with him for the evening while his mom and dad went out for a well deserved break.  Brandon was a little cranky for them and they were actually considering canceling on our special evening. But alas- they went out and we were blessed with this little guy and all his wonder.

I always ask Amanda for an idea of his schedule so he stays on track, but he had decided after his 7:30 bottle that he was not quite ready to settle down. Oh I hummed to him and rocked him in a darkened room, and he seemed like he was asleep, so I carefully placed him in his crib and then I tiptoed out of his room.

The lights were off, and he stayed asleep for maybe 2 minutes. 100_2970_edited I quickly rinsed out his bottle and went back to peek in the darkness inside his crib, I was blinking my eyes to get them used to the dark room with just a glow from the hall light, and this little guy scared the be-jeebers out of me, I am peering into his crib and his eyes are about 3 inches from mine. A big ol smile- he was pretty proud of himself . He was able to somehow pull himself up on the end of the crib and stand there. Grandpa Mark was snoozing on the couch , I said “ Mark come in here… QUICK!’ He awakened and quickly hobbled into the room, as amazed as I was. He went back in the dining room, grabbed the camera and came back so we could get this on a photo! See as far as we knew he still only rolled, scootched and when put in the sitting position he would sit, so this took us both by surprise.

100_2967Needless to say, he was so thrilled with himself, he did not sleep for an hour after that, but first yawn and I was scooting him off to bed. I did not want to miss the point of no return.  We do just love this precious bundle of joy so much.  His smile just melts your heart, and ya can’t be in a bad mood around him… He will turn a frown to a smile in a second!.We had great weekend… hope you all did too. Love to All, Cindy

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I was looking at a book that Mark’s daughter had given him as a Christmas gift years back. It is really quite informative and I wonder if she thought he lived a very dangerous life secretly. It was written by Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht, and these guys did their homework, hopefully they did not try each thing out to make sure it was correct !

It is titled “ The WORSE_CASE SCEARIO Survival Handbook” and I think it covers every worse case scenario I would ever not want to have happen.

How to … “Leap from a motorcycle to a moving car” or “How to Jump From a Moving Car” or “How to Survive if Your Parachute Fails To Open.”or “How to Ram a Car”

( I am not thinking Geico taught this course)…

How about  “How to Wrestle Free from an Alligator”I have not memorized these remedies of survival, and I am thinking that it is probably not a good idea to tell the  alligator to hold on a minute so I could read the survival tips. Since am I a person who has to read the steps – kinda like a recipe_ over and over again- yes I am thick !!      I think I better memorize the most likely “shit happens” moments- just in case.

Now I can pretty much guarantee I will not need to memorize “How to Maneuver On Top of A Moving Train and Get In’- nope I am pretty sure I will not accidentally end up on top of a train.  Some of these tips though- if  I  can remember the order and the do’s and don’ts , would be great tips in a major bind. Like “How to Escape from Killer  Bees’- did ya know you are not allowed to swat, and do not dive into water…( that is what I would have thought to do- but the experts say when you surface your buddies will be there waiting for you. So you basically do the “Forest Gump” Olympian run, and try to find an inside to get to. If not, go for running thru high weeds and brush. Once again, I would be doomed, running and me- well we do not do so well.

As I read this book I realize I am screwed if any one of these things happen to me. image

Holding an alligators mouth shut while my body part is in it- well I am not thinking I have the ability to do that one, nor could I lightly tap it’s snout to remove an object from its mouth.  So folks, I am pretty well screwed. Maybe you want to grab this book, and if you happen to be in a area where I am in distress- such as trying to ride an alligator down the field- maybe you could read the book and advise me the next step. Love to all, Watch for DANGER, Cindy

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Okay, all the old carpenters, who have gone to their reward, are about to roll over in their graves, or shake up their urns. But for the rest of us simple folks, those who have a lot of determination and little experience in the Craftsman world- well those people may understand what this photo and the next 2 photos mean to me. 100_2949

These are pictures of stubbornness, of the will to make something right that went terribly wrong, and the optimism that it will work in the end.

I have a Mother’s Day present that Jeff bought me , oh about 9 years ago. I love the gift, and it had a little accident over the winter in the shed. it is a Windmill, and it is kinda hard to store- but I do not let it stay out in the inclement days of winter.  This year the blade/top part fell to the floor and it was falling apart, the blades themselves started to come apart and the support of  one of the blades was cracked. We brought it over to Jeff and he diligently took the little pieces off, clamped, glued and screwed pieces together and we took it home ( actually on this Mother’s Day) . We set it up, but we could not find the spikes to anchor it, but we thought it would be okay. Well IT WASN’T, and 1 1/2 days later a wind blew the sucker over, and the nicely repaired blade broke right off.

So I pondered and thought how could I fix it. After a few weeks of pondering I took the chance- it is nothing pretty- as you can see above, but I bought Elmers Wood Glue, a couple of C clamps, a straight metal strip and I had a corner bracket. I literally poured the glue in every nook and cranny,  and c clamped the broken piece to the little bit of the base that was left on the spindle. Then about 4 hrs into the glue setting I screwed the corner and straight brackets in, and reclamped it, I placed it on the spare bed and hoped it would work. It is nothing that will be seen in the American Carpenter Journals, or in a Woodworking Shop, but damn –it – I fixed it.. 

So, I do apologize to all the grave keepers for the ruffled dirt from the carpenters rolling over, and  I am not expecting any calls from people who need wood

repair work done, but it does make us smile each time we see it spin in the wind. And yes… we bought spikes to anchor it down. Determination, prayers ( LOTS OF PRAYERS), stubbornness, faith, belief, imagination, and a little bit of taking a chance, and the end result- TA DA…100_2950

a WINDMILL, spinning and reminding me of Jeff, of being a mom, of life, of getting out and doing something even if it is a long shot, and the sweet taste of achieving that goal.  The “You-Can_do_it” ( As Home Depot kindly reminds us in their ads-)attitude spins in  our yard. Love to all, Believe in yourself, Cindy

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A few days ago,on Saturday, I was going into work for a few hours. Mark and I had finished the traditional Saturday morning breakfast out with Shawn and Pat and we headed south east into my place of employment. We drove by a cemetery and I felt a sense of presence of each of those people who are now represented by a stone. A marble stone with their name, maybe a short quote or phrase, their date of birth and date of death. It hit me , that each one of these stones signify someone who used to cry when they were hungry as an infant, some of them were on this earth long enough to have gone through school, graduated, had birthday parties, came in and out of doors to their homes, hugged someone else, maybe had children of their own, , they had homes, lives, cars, heartache, happiness, smiles, laughter, trials tributes, a hero to someone, perhaps an enemy to someone else.

I had to laugh, Mark was saying my post yesterday sounded like my obituary, that was not my intent. I am just reminded of  the fragility of life. We are here but once, and if we chose to take this journey in a positive or negative approach, that is our choice, for in the end, we will be remembered, how we are remembered, and by whom – well- that depends on what we did with our lives.

My parents and my older sister were laid to rest in a cemetery about 20 miles from here. I know they are there- well their headstones are there, they each have left memories in my mind, in my heart, and there are people they touched in their lives , they created different memories for different people. What will the memory  of you be , 100_2946 if tomorrow does not come?

Like this dandelion- will it be remembered as this fallen apart puff ball… or the yellow brilliant flower it was for its life.

What projects are le

ft undone, what good intentions left on a list in your head? The fragility of life, the blessing of each breath, share each moment in a positive way. Love and blessings, Cindy

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Thousands of drops of dew anticipating the next move, feeding the blades of grass with the moisture that is needed, while knowing their journey will take them to other areas.

Life is like that. We can have a neat little plan in our minds, and we may fulfill needs of others along the way, but we really do not know the direction our journey will go in.

After reaching the ripe old age of 50, life looks different. Things are more unpredictable. Our bodies begin to show that  parts wear out. Our patience at times becomes less tolerant, we can feel like the drop on the blade of grass, not knowing if we will fall to the ground or take a smooth course to the next step.

Life after 50 is a time for much reflection, and probably for most, some questions , some  regrets. Why didn’t I do this or that, … or what if I had done this or that.                 

The “ What if ‘s” can drive us nuts. So I tend to go with more of a “this is it” and now where do I go type attitude.

I long to work in a clinical setting, wonder what would have happened had I never fallen at work so many years ago and trashed my knee, would I still be at the hospital?

Or what if I had not gotten sick and what if I had made it through college in 1971 and became the teacher I had planned to be, would I be a loved teacher or one kids could not wait to have the school year end.

I look at life this way, what has happened.. has happened, I can not change that. I am 55 and I know my life is on the downhill slide- I know I will not live to be 110.  Although, ya know, I would love to. The thought of one day no longer being here is mysterious, and hard to grasp. I am glad I love to sleep at night, cuz somewhere in my delusional mind I picture death as a sleep that one just does not come back from.

100_1103I love my family, my son is the ultimate best, his wife a charm and their son- well he brings such joy- I love my husband, he is kind and caring, I have a very special daughter through Mark, her husband is great- and they too will be having a baby soon, and I have terrific  brothers and sisters and all the families that are apart of their lives- I work with wonderful people in a company that cares for the employees-and I love where I live..so life is not bad.  But it is drops of water on blades of grass- changes in directions, some move as planned, some drops fall,  some travel , some disappear.

I am going out to mow now—than water the garden , water the yard, … and live life some more, and thank God for every breath I have to breathe. Love to all, Cindy

This photo is from “http://accad.osu.edu/womenandtech/2006/research_web_pages/story/index.html

I chose this as I have been wondering how I would have existed if I was back in the days of being a settler in America. As we were coming to a year since the  move we made to our new home, I think back to what it was like to move 8 miles . How hectic is felt, getting a pre-built home, placing it on an acre of already developed land, city water, and others doing the setting up of the home on the slab of concrete and doing the foundation. Then I think about what folks such as these folks went through.

Mark is worried about the grass being too long- look at these folks yard.

I can not imagine what it would be like to load up the oxens, mules and horses , heading West to the “promised land” using a covered wagon, not knowing what we were in store for, and no way to communicate to anyone. Just me, my husband, maybe a couple dogs , a cow and our kids.

There are no Walmarts, Gas Stations, Fast Food Joints, Grocery Store- nope- what we would have is only us. Depending on our ability to survive off the land. No butane lighters to start the fires, no convenient pre bundled kindling to start the fires with, just us. And it gets really dark at night !. No Motel 6, just the glow from the fire if you were lucky enough to start it. Probably knife in hand, gun for shooting game, watching for the Native Americans- who really had claimed the land before the settlers did, and knowing as you took that last leep into the covered wagon that this was it- you were on a one way trip. It took 5-7 days to get the distance we can go in one hour in a car.

The wagons held 2000 pounds, people had barrels with flour, sugar, their blankets, clothing, their pots and pans were hanging from hooks attached to the supporting loops inside the wagon cover. Gee- I have a little ticking or rubbing noise in a car- can you imagine the pots banging and clanging. The dad would walk along side the oxen/mule or horses, and frequently the children would be walking behind the wagon. ( Photo from google images – they got it from “oregontrail.org/oregon-trail-pictures.htm”)

I am sure the ride was not smooth- the wild was not welcoming and to know that when you got to wherever your destination was that you would need to build your house , find a water source, need to plant seeds for food. Cut down and haul the trees for the frame of the home.

Nope, I could not do it, I am so thankful I live in 2009! I can not even imagine what it would have been like. 100_1342 This was our “covered wagon” and our way we packed-

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I definitely am glad it is 2009 ! So on this weekend- remember those who fought so that we could have our freedom, those who ventured on ships to come to America and all those who took the step, who took the chance, and went to the wilderness, be thankful for all we have, for

PODS, and plastic totes, and even Walmarts. Love ya, Cindy

Memorial Day Weekend is a sign we did finally made it. The frost being over was the opening of the door, but Memorial Day Weekend, that is the frosting on the cake. Back and forth to work each day this week I observed at the NYS Fair Grounds parking lot piles of pallets being delivered for this weekend. It is a huge parking lot and every Memorial Day they have a bon fire for people to bring their torn and tattered flags to. I have seen the bon fire from afar, never actually gone to the parking lot. But it is a symbolic event every Memorial Day. This photo is from Google images it states it is from “eatonvillenews.net/images” In Eatonville this ceremony appears to be on flag day- in Syracuse, it is Memorial Day.

Summer is coming, years back it meant raising the camper, touching it up from a long winter of setting, and making sure the registration was current, the inspection done, reorganizing my chores to the week days so we could go camping. That camper was totally amazing, every year we would raise it and it smelled like it was new. We used it a few times a summer, each time it felt great to do it.

I really love the camping part, but as the kids grew , we camped less, as Jeff had work on weekends and the last few years Jeff had been home, Mark worked thru Saturday. So it became very hard to free up weekends, as Mark would get in, we would have a cooler of used Rubbermaid containers to wash and a weeks worth of laundry to get ready, repack the containers for the next week, and regroup for a day and a half. We do still have a membership to a campground resort about 15-20 minutes away from here. It is one that we can pass on to generations or we could sell it. We have been very tempted to sell it, but we know we will not get what it is worth. It is a nice place, and if a person has the itch for a community environment that is locked and guarded, it is a safe place to bring your kids camping. There is a lake, paddle boats, a country store, a rec hall, kid and adult pools, miniature golf, planned events each weekend, so it is not a bad deal really. And being a member there is no nightly fee- just the annual maintenance fee.

I would love to be in a position financially to get a hard shell camper and venture out on weekends again. There is just something neat about going to sleep with the crickets chirping and a creek babbling. Then waking up a little chilled and shuffling off to a bathroom, the smell of campfires simmering, and fireflies flashing their butts to lead the way. And the camp area has Karaoke on Friday nights!. (Or at least they did last year) . The pop up was very nice, but it was harder for Mark to help set it up since his injury, so we did give it to Jeff and Amanda.

But it really is not practical right now, we have nothing to tow a camper with, and with the future seeming to be unsettled, we do not need an extra expense. So I guess I will just leave the window open a tad, hear the whirl of cars as they go by, an occasional dog yipping, and enjoy the cool evening breeze filling our room. We do have an outdoor fire pit, that could be our campfire. So I guess I am good. I hope everyone has a safe Memorial Day Weekend, roast a hot dog or two, maybe some chicken or a burger, enjoy. Summer around here comes and in 3 months it is gone- so enjoy the heat while you can. Love, Cindy

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