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As today comes into being it is another year to stop and say thanks to dad. Dad can be a step dad, a mentor who was like a dad to us, a friends dad,, and our own dad.

me and my dadI was thinking about dad, and the memories I have of him. He was alive for the first 10 years of my life, and in those 10 years, I remember him holding my hand, I remember his talking to me, I remember him coming home from a week of being away as a traveling salesman.

I do not remember who mowed our yard, and I faintly remember him reprimanding me when I needed it.

I remember drives with him to my accordion lessons, him calling me princess and his words of wisdom. I remember when he was there, I felt safe, the universe was aligned.

I remember every night he was home he tucked me in bed, he read me a story when he was home, and he said he loved me.

And I remember a breakfast I made for him, burned toastPam and I did it. The toast was beyond burned, the inside was actually brown, we felt bad we burnt his toast. He said “this is how I like it” He bit each piece, crunching it with his dentures, and smiling. He ate the whole piece. Thanking us for the lovely breakfast.

It was the little things, the walks, the talks, the hugs, the kisses goodnight- the lessons in life- the things not seen, but felt. Those moments, I am so glad I had, for they relive in my mind over and over again, they bring me comfort.

Happy Father’s Day Dad, I loved you then, I love you now and I will love you when I too join you again.

Until later, Mrs. Justa alias Cindy

I have heard in the past, actually my whole life, and read this little piece of wisdom this morning on worrying.

We need to focus on the now, for if we are worrying about the future, about things that may or may not happen, IMG_0458we are burning our todays, we are wasting those precious moments on our walk through life.

I can be a worrier, I can be a person who is looking at different scenarios trying to prepare for things that never may happen.

I am much better now than I was years ago, but it is so easy to get sucked into the worry vortex. Now I believe there is a part of life where we need to think about the consequences of actions we do, things we say. So I am not proposing to go charge our credit cards to the max and spend to the max today, because we know on the scheduled billing day of the month that bill will be here.

I am thinking about the worries of things we have no idea even if they will ever come to be.

brown fern plant near trees

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There are so many folks who now, (because of the ease of social media, of 24 hr news talk shows, of  podcasting and YouTubing— )not only have they taken the worry talent to a new level for them, but they share the worrying with anyone who hears, reads or sees their public presentation of negative/ worry stuff.

As they predict the doomsday type scenarios, the dark maybes of the future, what they are doing is totally wasting the moments we are facing now. Life is never guaranteed to have no problems, no heartaches, no losses. There is a difference in knowing every moment will not be sunshine and lollipops and rainbows…. and worrying about those moments when the darkness seems to engulf us.

So once again, I am reminded to be still, IMG_0406to enjoy this moment, and stand tall, knowing when the not so good stuff happens, it is just a part of life. Bad times only pave the way to better times. We need to look towards the light, in those seemingly darker moments. Worrying does nothing but rob us of our moments in time, our moments to see the light.                                   Until later, Mrs Justa alias Cindy

I find it rather amusing in a sick sort of way the busyness of the world. There are so many agendas in the world, so many agendas people each have, so many lost minutes enjoy life because of them. We become like the busy bees frantically making honey.

swarm insects bees honey

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There are a couple commercials that actually do a tongue and cheek approach to that. The one is 2 men sitting on a couch. They are the same guy 30 days different in their journey of life. The one dude is on the couch, dressed neatly, in brighter light enjoying his internet service because he changed companies. So in his “here and now world”, everyone can do everything they want to online, at the same time.

The other guy ( it is the same man but from 30 days prior ) he is in a bathrobe, unshaven, his side of the couch is gloomy, his hair unkept and he is whining about his slow internet service. Out comes his agenda board, it is written on in tiny print, a schedule of when people in the house can have a turn on the internet. An agenda that people are supposed to follow or you miss your opportunity to go on line. When this 30 days back from the present guy hears that the here and now guy has this bigger, better faster internet- he whines about he wants that too.

I look at this in a number of ways:

  • first maybe we all need to have a cell phone tray at the door when we come in
  • maybe we need to talk to one another instead of being worried whose turn it is
  • Maybe we need to pay more attention to the people that are around us
  • maybe we need to stop keeping score making sure you get your equal amount of whatever it is

The next one is a lady in bed with a calendar.

appointment black calendar countdown

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She and her husband are discussing what day he can fit in getting a laceration and stitches. He had to reschedule because that specific say he was thinking was taken by someone getting the flu, and he was out probably a few weeks because there were already scheduled ear infections, coughs and other ailments.  It is an advertisement for the urgent care centers available at anytime day or night, but the sad fact is, in this crazy fast-paced world, we almost have to schedule when we take the next breath. We tend to be so damn busy that I think often we might totally not notice things around us. Or remember what we wore the day before, what we ate last, or how a person looked last time we whizzed by them on our way to tackle the next task.

I say it often, and find it interesting that the commercials just demonstrate in a rather interesting way that maybe we need to slow down a little.

scenic view of night sky with stars

Photo by James Wheeler on Pexels.com

Do any of us know if last night there were stars our? Or what colors illuminated the sky at sunset? Or with any individual interactions with people yesterday, what were they wearing? Did they look like they were feeling okay?

When was the last time we played a board game with family? Or had a family dinner? Or met with friends for coffee to just enjoy one another’s company? When was the last time we read a book to a child, shared a walk on a shore, strolled down a path in the woods?

The little things in life, the ones we should not have to schedule, we need more of those times.

I am off to start my day, and hopefully tomorrow morning I will be able to look in my rear view mirror of life and see a sunset or stars twinkling, or a  brave flower as it tries to uncover from the long winter.

MAy you each take time for life…. Until later, Mrs Justa alias Cindy

Oh boy, after 2 weeks of not feeling like I could do much of anything, I think I am returning to the other side. There is so much illness going around between people with the flu, upper respiratory problems, GI problems; unless I live in a bubble, I was bound to get something.

So I got the upper respiratory issues, the congestion, the cough, the tiredness… once again I thank God I work from home. AS I can trudge through the symptoms and not worry about contaminating anyone at work.

img_3621Now I am onto my thoughts about everything from A-Z. As I sit on the proverbial bench of life., I think about life. I was reading some things this AM and one thing came to me over and over again. If we continue to worry and fret about the tomorrows, we miss the todays. No one really knows the future, we can predict, sometimes it is correct. We can look at trends, but who knows where we are in the trend cycles really? At the end of the day, none of us know.

If we were to take notes on the prediction, those “scare the heck out of you, run for the hills and bury your money ” type predictions and now videos on YouTube and such, all the predictors, –and if we were to look back days, months and years later, we would probably find many of the “scare the pants off of us “predictions, were just words in space. Words to encourage us to not trust, words to inspire us to buy things to prepare us for the disaster of life as we know it.

In the end, it will be what it will be. IMG_3712For years I had a bin with the think plastic and rolls of duct tape because as we approached the millennium the world was going to never be the same. Remember the Y2K phrase was the phrase of the day. Build your bunkers and if you do not have a bunker, chose a room and seal it in plastic and duct tape. The predictions were assumptions, people believed them and felt they were helping mankind survive… there were scare tactics were just that. C0mputers would freak out,  causing immeasurable chaos ranging from vast blackouts to nuclear holocaust.  Remember the bunkers, and gun sales, ..and at 1-1-2000, the year changed, the new millennium began. There were probably a few bumps in the road, but we did not need our 25 yr supply of safe foods, or the bunkers.

So as I approach each day, I need to not get so wrapped up in 30 yrs from now and live frugally, yet not carelessly, live to enjoy today, because tomorrow- none of us know what it will be. Know that there is evil, but there is so much more good in the world. The goodness is not the “WOW” factor that media believes we need to see. IMG_0719Enjoy the sunrise, enjoy what you can.

Enjoy what blessings there are, have faith in the good, thank God for the moments you have, appreciate the wonders right in front of you.

The power may click off for a bit, we have candles. The water might have a problem, so we get filters to purify water and some bottled water.

Personally, if the world was to ever come to an end, that would be the end, and the guaranteed 25 yrs of preserved food would be in that sealed bucket, for what reason?

Until later, Mrs. Justa alias Cindy

What a busy last few days, what a wonderful way to spend those every precious moments in life Last week we knew we were going to be blessed with Briella for 2 nights and the boys for one night. So, as a gramma, I go into my mode of thinking of ways have preparations are done for the weekend ( laundry, beds freshly made, laundry done and such,) as we love to spend time with them.

I planned meals and thought of games, and some teaching “helping gramma” time that Briella and I could do. She absolutely loves to help, loves to learn and often wants to try things that she says she knows how to do, but when offered the opportunity, she says she might not really know how to do it.

She wanted to take a20190316_152546 picture of the sky with my phone/camera- I explained that she had to be really careful, ( as I prefer it not to be dropped in a slushed area at the park…..) once handed the phone, well she needed a lot of help understanding the pointing of the phone, but in the end, I have my first picture taken by Briella.

Not bad for a first with my phone.

Oh, we read some books, img_3689-1we did some floor “Swiftering” which she asks to do, we img_3684-1made brookies from scratch, we prepared lasagna, we did some games,  20190317_110234                                           puzzles, and cuddling. I have to say, I enjoyed every minute.

The weekend only gets betterimg_3696-1 when we add the 2 boys to it. As they totally love life too. Grandpa and the boys have a neat relationship,.They love being with Grandpa, and he with them,  and there are chess challenges, and journeys through the moments talking, playing,  teaching and learning.

Brandon had to be 20190316_162853low key as he had hurt his ribs and side in a fall just before coming out. So he and the reclining couch and a heating pad were friends.  They watched a documentary on a submarine that was found from long ago, they talked about all kinds of things.

Brandon and I shared time with a game called pick-up-sticks. We really had fun with that. The three kids and UI did a few rounds of Old Maid. Grandpa and the boys did Sorry and Trouble a number of times and deep concentrating games of chess.  They also had CHILL time.

We try to listen to what each has to say and offer. They have such incredible minds. They are appreciative of anything done for them or with them, and each kid has their own personality and interests. There is little jealousy, and it is funny how Briella and Preston can love each other or be like oil and water. So it is a treat to be able to have them all here and to enjoy each of their many precious qualities.

20190302_213538It is funny how when they all left the silence is almost deafening. The hum of the washer doing the sheets, and the dog snoring next to us, those are the only sounds.

We reflect on the weekend, we are still and chill. I feel refreshed and thankful for the special times we had. A great way to start the week….

Until later, Mrs Justa alias Cindy

 

 

Beethoven’s symphonies. symphony clip artYes, I was never a fan of classical music but there is one musical arrangement with the musicians belting it out of their instruments and the conductor almost flying with his arms moving ever so rapidly at the flow. It went Ta Da T Da Da, Da Ta Da Da Da—

However, in my mind, 20190128_064632the symbols and musical instruments are drowned out by the clanging of dishes.

Yes, early morning sounds of what I so lovingly refer to as  “the dish symphony. ”

Our mom was the conductor, and she would ever so loudly play it as we attempted to sleep in past the time she felt was the time to wake up.

Yep, I remember thinking it was not a school day, turning over in my ever so comfy bed, and the Beethoven imposter came out to whip up a symphony for all to hear.

Dishes being put away, cling clang… silverware- not that was like the not so balanced sound of the symbols and bells.

20190128_072245I would drag my ever so tired body downstairs and silence as she turned and said with her ever so sweet grin,  “Oh good morning”

I am brought to this because every morning that I get up first I may put the dishes away. I think if anyone filmed me it would look like slow motion – like my batteries were low… as I slowly, gently lay a dish on top of another.

Today, as I carefully got my coffee, fed the dog and let her out, worked on some dishes, once again the symphony played loudly  as it came pouring out of my memory bank, and as I tried to make as little noise as possible, my mom’s face appeared from the vault of memories that are mine forever, and she said “Oh good morning”

It is funny but I realize now, so many years since I last heard Conductor Bette Gaines, that mom did “subtle” things to make a point or ask for something. I think it was her way of asking for some other person to share time with her. She was rarely one to ask directly for anything. Oh, she was the master at innuendos and she would end them with that smirk of hers. I think the morning symphony was one of them I love you mom… and it is so comforting to know that you are all around me, in so many ways.

I extend those wishes to you, and hope you have a great day !

Until Later Mirs Justa, alias Cindy

I often find my mind taking me back in time, and remember that through most of the years of my life, it was the times spent with the special men in my life, not the times away from that I remember most. me and my dadAs a very young girl, it was my dad. He was the comfort, the strength, a gift. His job had him away during the week and home on Thurs nights and back out on a short sales run, returning usually Friday nights.

Our time together meant everything to me. I remember his hand holding mine securely, his voice was deep, his love for all of us was unending. I remember his hugs, his laughter.

He used to say I was his princess. I remember how he tried to take time for each of us. and my time I saved in a vault in my mind, in my heart. It brings me comfort in so many ways.

I remember how he was one who would remind me through the years he was alive, that life never promised to be all good, me and my dad at beardsley park ctbad things happen, and that somehow the bad turns into good again.

Karen was 10 years older than me, and it is funny in the couple of pictures I have of her with me and dad, she is always looking back at me. I can only imagine I was a chatty little one.

We all remember dad in different ways I am sure. Karen was 10 when I was born, so she already had 10 years of memories before my dad times started.

Pam my next older sister was 1 1/2 yrs older than me. She and I had a lot of fun and not so fun times, just due to age, and I always felt a tad bit of jealousy from her. She too had memories of dad, and dads death took a really bad toll on her. To the point that as an adult woman, every anniversary of his death she would end up in a severe depression. Sometimes to the point of needing an inpatient admission to help her get to the other side. pam, karen me and our dad

As I got older, there have been men in my life who also had employment that required they be gone a good percentage of the weeks. I never ever regretted that, I accepted it without any second thought, because the time they were home, was valuable, treasured and never taken for granted. It is not the amount of time spent, it is how we use the time when we have it to spend. To be constantly together, 24/7; I think it becomes an expectation, I think there are moments that would be more special if they were not routine.

During the first 10 years of my life, I remember my mom, however times I remember more vividly are those in which my mom and dad were there. I wonder often how life would have been had he not died when I was 10. Time with dad, it was quality time, the pieces fit together.

As I look back on my own adult life, seneca lake 5-1990Mark was away often for his job, just like my dad was. It was how life was. When our own kids were growing up- we tried to spend quality time with them when Mark was home. We would go to some places – often places that did not cost a penny, yet their value priceless. Walks in parks, sitting on docks, camping in our pup tents, later advancing to pop-ups. Playing ball, frisbee, Yahtzee, the list goes on.

And now the times with our grandchildren, the moments are treasured, they are not routine, and we do things with them. It is the special times, times giving of oneself and really focusing on the other person, those are quality times.

AS I am off for a new week, I am going to work on quality and not quantity…

Until later, Mrs Justa alias Cindy

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