Quality not Quantity

I often find my mind taking me back in time, and remember that through most of the years of my life, it was the times spent with the special men in my life, not the times away from that I remember most. As a very young girl, it was my dad. He was the comfort, the strength, a gift. His job had him away during the week and home on Thurs nights and back out on a short sales run, returning usually Friday nights.

Our time together meant everything to me. I remember his hand holding mine securely, his voice was deep, his love for all of us was unending. I remember his hugs, his laughter.

He used to say I was his princess. I remember how he tried to take time for each of us. and my time I saved in a vault in my mind, in my heart. It brings me comfort in so many ways.

I remember how he was one who would remind me through the years he was alive, that life never promised to be all good, bad things happen, and that somehow the bad turns into good again.

Karen was 10 years older than me, and it is funny in the couple of pictures I have of her with me and dad, she is always looking back at me. I can only imagine I was a chatty little one.

We all remember dad in different ways I am sure. Karen was 10 when I was born, so she already had 10 years of memories before my dad times started.

Pam my next older sister was 1 1/2 yrs older than me. She and I had a lot of fun and not so fun times, just due to age, and I always felt a tad bit of jealousy from her. She too had memories of dad, and dads death took a really bad toll on her. To the point that as an adult woman, every anniversary of his death she would end up in a severe depression. Sometimes to the point of needing an inpatient admission to help her get to the other side.

As I got older, there have been men in my life who also had employment that required they be gone a good percentage of the weeks. I never ever regretted that, I accepted it without any second thought, because the time they were home, was valuable, treasured and never taken for granted. It is not the amount of time spent, it is how we use the time when we have it to spend. To be constantly together, 24/7; I think it becomes an expectation, I think there are moments that would be more special if they were not routine.

During the first 10 years of my life, I remember my mom, however times I remember more vividly are those in which my mom and dad were there. I wonder often how life would have been had he not died when I was 10. Time with dad, it was quality time, the pieces fit together.

As I look back on my own adult life, Mark was away often for his job, just like my dad was. It was how life was. When our own kids were growing up- we tried to spend quality time with them when Mark was home. We would go to some places – often places that did not cost a penny, yet their value priceless. Walks in parks, sitting on docks, camping in our pup tents, later advancing to pop-ups. Playing ball, frisbee, Yahtzee, the list goes on.

And now the times with our grandchildren, the moments are treasured, they are not routine, and we do things with them. It is the special times, times giving of oneself and really focusing on the other person, those are quality times.

AS I am off for a new week, I am going to work on quality and not quantity…

Until later, Mrs Justa alias Cindy

 

Planning Sometimes Is Just That

As we go through life we plan for things. We plan for trips or places to live. We plan for futures, and we plan for retirement.

As I sat in a local diner tonight with my husband, our table was in the center. Around us were other table and booths lined the walls. It seemed to be mostly patrons who were well known, and who seemed to be much older then we are. It felt as if we were in a dinner theater in the round. With the play being skits of people lives. People came in and left, waitresses cleared the tables, kind of like at a play when the light get turned down, the curtain falls, and another scene comes to be.

I felt surrounded by people who probably had made plans for their lives, and probably health reasons and life setbacks, well they changed their plans. As one man had come in with his wife, he was trying to move into the booth, his left side was not coordinated and weak, so as he slid in it was like his right side was pushing the left side in. He said to her, can you believe this is how we ended up, as she tried to help him get situated. Plans can get washed away, or reshaped. We can endure or let them take control of us .

Couples here and there, obviously some with significant health challenges, none who appeared they could be north-south travelers. It made me wonder what does the future look like? No one knows. The best plans can be dissolved in a moments notice. I think we have to accept that just because we plan it to be a certain way, that does not mean it will be. The sun rises and sets, and we have no idea what is next.

As we went to leave, a man was walking out in front of us. He had been joking with the waitresses, he had a nonstressed face, he needed a cane, his stride was not fast, but gingerly. He told us he was 91, he came there every night for dinner, he said he lives alone. He loves to talk with the gals and seems to look forward to coming there. We complimented his outlook on life, and he said he lives life lightly, doesn’t have his head down, he looks up all the time. He did not talk about heartbreak, but I sure he has had some. He displayed a love for what life offers him a minute at a time. Appreciating each sunrise and sunset.

I think that is how we need to be. We can plan, and realize those plans can change in a heartbeat. It is hard enough to plan for the next few days or weeks, let alone the future of life.

Until later, Mrs Justa alias Cindy

 

Another Year In The Rear View Mirror

Today marks yet another year of life. The moments are but footprints, soon to be washed away, yet leaving impressions in our memory banks. A year of hopefully some positive that happened, a year for some filled with one or more life-changing moments, and a year that some may want to run out of as quickly as possible.

I have a friend who married a man that is her soul mate. I mean to the max. The love you see in their eyes when she talks about him- about them- in their interactions captured on photos, it has been a truly blessed year for her.

I have a friend, she is a soulmate friend, we think alike, we just know when the other needs a call, a text, a visit, we say the same things, .. well she and her husband retired. They totally changed their living situation, sold a home, bought a place in Florida and have a permanent park setting on a lake in Upstate New York… Part of her time south, part up here. Oh, they had some major bumps along the journey, but all in all, looking at their smiles and stress-free facial expressions, it has been a good year for them.

Mark’s and my year, whoa, we look in the rearview mirror of that, and it has been full. We started the year with a 6-month mania for Mark, the incredible changes in our lives during that time and the challenges for him to face the 4 1/2 months of climbing out of depression. I experienced changing my department at work in August due to my place of employment being acquired by a very large company and learning oh so many new things. It is a good thing, just a big change. We spent some fun rewarding times with the grandkids and spent some great times with family. We helped Marks mom as she transitioned from an apartment to an Assisted Living Environment. Yes, it has been a year.

I think about life, each breath, each step, each second is like a snowflake. By itself, it may not mean much, but add them together and it creates memories, it creates opportunities. And as quickly as a snowflake can melt, so can the moment be gone. I look back on the year and think of all the things different, of the few more aches that might be there at times, and I wonder what lies ahead.

I long to treasure each moment, to look for the good in everything, and to be the best I can be.  I am thankful for what has been and what is yet to come. I realize that life is full of changes, of hurt and of happiness. I feel blessed that I am aware of the presence of those who have passed on still being here for me in their subtle ways. I feel thankful to have been blessed with my husband, our kids, and our grandkids. I am thankful for my siblings and all the members of our family, my friends, the church I attend and thankful for living my life in the comfort of God.

As I look ahead, I do not know what each day will bring, but each breath I take, each step I make will be with the intent to be the best I can be for that moment.  The saying “moss won’t grow on a rolling stone” will continue to be a reminder to keep moving…  So as I end this year with this post, I wish all have time to reflect, to look ahead. Happy New Year. Until next year, Mrs Justa alias Cindy

 

Do It Right

I am kind of amazed at the attitude of some businesses, some employees, some people who do just enough to let a person know they exist, but not enough to be done to the full need. There are plenty of people who do things well, that attitude is not gone, it is just frustrating when it is the other way.

Today it just happened to be a dealer for Honda. But it does not start and stop there. I am sure you have experienced the same thing more often than not. We received a notice in the mail stating we need to call our dealer. It seems our car has a defect within the software that can cause gas to go into the oil.

Now a couple weeks ago, we actually had the car there for an oil change early because the oil did not look right and smelled like gasoline. The service folks said it was nothing to worry about and our VIN number was not listed, so basically away with you.

Well, Honda sees it differently and wants us to be aware that we need to get the vehicle in for the repair. So Mark calls there this morning, he asks for service, he is put on hold for God knows how long by the receptionist, as jolly Christmas music plays in the background. When the service department never picks up, the receptionist comes back on and tells him the service department is very busy, and can’t answer the phone, someone will call back.

4 1/2 hours later, Mark calls back…. again jolly Christmas music, and no one answers, and the receptionist comes back on again to say the service department is very busy, and can’t answer the phone, someone will call back. Mark says- “You said that 4 1/2 hrs ago” . She apologized and said someone will call, that the phones are busy because people are calling back because no one has called them.

No one has called back yet. I think if the company cared about the customers, someone could at least return a call to help to get an appointment scheduled. Or just to give an update on when we might expect a callback. But no, nothing. And this is supposed to be ok?

It seems there is a thought process that some people have, that so much effort is good enough, but to put only part effort in, no matter what it is, is not something to be proud of.

Briella did these puzzles, and she never gave up, she concentrated and gave them her all, you can see her self pride..

 

 

You can see it when the boys helped grandpa and cleared the deck of snow last winter.

It just makes you feel good to do something and do it well.             To do a task, and give it 100% attention, that is self-satisfying, it feels like a sense of accomplishment.

Life is like that, no matter what it is. Our interactions with others, our time by ourselves. Time with our youth, at work, in public or at home… we need to set examples and help others see how doing it fully-     (whatever “it” is)  is something we all should strive for. From the moment we wake up until we go to sleep, no matter what our actions, our task, our missions are, no matter the scenario, we need to be the best we can be. Driving, living, walking, doing… do it and do it well…

Okay, that is my thought for this moment in time.

Until later, Mrs. Justa alias Cindy

 

 

Interacting and Technology

So as I was making my weekly grocery list on a pad of real paper, with an actual pen, I was thinking- hey I could just go online, and order this all.. and …. nope— STOP…. I am going to continue to go out and shop for groceries. I enjoy seeing others, I enjoy making sure what we are buying is what we intended to buy, …

Well, this got me thinking… I think as the world continues to advance, to become more virtual, we have to remember to have real-life experiences. We need to interact with face to face, real life, and reach out and touch moments.

To see peoples face on face time is a great tool, because people can be in places you can not be, and have a conversation with them. However, doing face time with people that are just a few miles away, well I feel that going outside and seeing them might be the option to take.

We can now go to our computer, cell phone, tablet or probably talk in the air to “Alexa” or “Google” devices, give a list of things we need from the store, and have it delivered to our doorstep, or have someone waiting to load it in our car.

Instead of face to face, touch the items, one can buy virtually anything without going out and seeing it. And God forbid it not be what we expected from the image online we ordered it from. Instead, had we just gone to a local vendor, a store, a warehouse and seen it, felt it, looked it over, well then we know what we are buying.

Now everyone ( including me) can make all the excuses and reasons why this is so great. It keeps me away from germs of others, I do not need to deal with long lines, it gives me more time to fill up my day with a bunch of other stuff. Heck before we know it we have fit what used to be 36 hrs of actions in an 18 hr day.

We do not have to go to a movie- nope we can sit in the comfort of our home and watch the movie, stop it when we want, and put it back on after we pee, or grab a drink, or stretch, AND we can watch it in our jammies. Now I am not saying this is wrong, it does, however, take away the “going out to a move” experience. The smell of the popcorn, the darkness as you sit on seats in rows that are on an inclining floor.

There is nothing that replaces taking a trip to a planetarium. The music, the narrator, the feeling you are in a spaceship in orbit as they show us the universe, the night sky.

To show a child a firefly cupped in your hand, or to show them virtually via a YouTube image– well the magic is definitely in the first option.

 

Playing games, yes real hands-on , touch the pieces, not only hear the voice of your opponent but to see their eyes, to laugh in the same room, that is so much a component of that experience. Oh I know we can get games and our opponent is part of the game, we had this one game where we could choose the country and type of opponent we wanted. A man calling you “Chap” to a down-under voice teasing when they are about to whomp you. It, however, takes away the real socialization.

Virtual convenience is nice, however, we as adults, our kids, our grandkids, our friends, we also need to keep our social skills up, we need to take advantage of the value of being real- in real time… to be able to interact and not feel lost in the world.

We can in balance embrace the various incredible things that are available to us, things to make our life easier… yet we need to be aware of what is important at the end of the day, what is a need, what are we doing as a “cop-out” or because it is just less demanding of our time… and what is a want.

Thoughts to ponder…. Until later, Mrs Justa alias Cindy

 

 

 

 

 

It is What’s Inside That Counts

This is a lesson in life that is learned and relearned and relearned again. As we grow up, we are impressed by and exposed to many people, places, events, and experiences. I remember many a time wishing I was more like another or thinking how come they have such and such, or they wear such and such.
The pressures of being feeling you are welcome or trying to be accepted, they can be overwhelming. In growing up that seemed important at times, and also seemed to not be a pathway I was on as far as it went with the “cool kids”.
I remember my mom on more than a few occasions reminding me that it is what is on the inside that counts. I may not be the best dressed, the prettiest, the richest, the most popular as I walk through life. Those things are not what is important. It is how you act, how sincere you are, how empathetic you are, how caring you are, how honest you are. Those are the qualities that make you a person others will want to know, those are the qualities of a true friend.
Material things seem to matter to many people, the best car, the most souped-up technologies, the fanciest name on the clothes … in the end- what really mattered was who we each are. Not what we have. The stores, the commercials, the internet is filled with so many THINGS to get that “special person to show them you care”. That does not show a person you care, spending time, listening, give and take conversations, that is how someone knows you care about them.

 

Have you ever known of a person who you thought was someone you wanted to know better until they opened their mouth and you realized they are extremely focused on themselves? Or wished for that certain something, only to find it was not worth the effort of getting it.

I knew a person once a LONGGG time ago who had to look in every reflection at himself. I kid you not, I think he liked when it was early morning or dusk because all the windows became mirrors.
There are so many things in life that if we determine it by its cover, by its appearance alone, we just might be focusing on something with no depth, without substance. Life is too short to be artificial.

As we raise our kids, as we mentor others, as we present ourselves to others, we need to remember it is not just what is seen, it is all those special things, it is what is beyond what is seen that matters. What can we share of us, not what can we buy, but what can we offer from our hearts to others?

Until later, Mrs Justa alias Cindy

 

 

From the Beginning to the End

There is always a beginning and an end. Some beginnings come so slowly that we want to grab the timeline and yank it a bit, we want to get to the end. It is that darn middle between the beginning and end, it is kinda stuck in one spot. or at least the accomplishment we are anticipating seems suddenly so far away.

I have run across this so many times. I take on a project, I have a goal and ugg it all of the sudden seems to be dragging on.

That trip you wanted to take forever. It is finally here. You, you and your spouse, you and your family,  you and your friend(s)- ( whatever the situation); you have planned and packed and checked things out and the moment is here. The 6,or 8,or 11, 22 hr drive awaits you, you have picked places to stop, things to see.

The end it out there somewhere, as the road seems to keep on going. 

Oh the chatter in the car or the music blasting, the excitement that the time is here, those first few hours into it, smiles, dreams yet to fill….and there comes a point where you realize the seat is kinda not comfortable, you really need to pee, you can not believe how long the construction held you up, and that voice inside your head is like the child in you saying “Are we almost there?” And after what seems like a week of traveling, instead of a mere 6,or 8,or 11, 22 hrs…. you make it, all is good, you have a wonderful time.

Maybe it is a meal you are excited about trying this totally from scratch recipe. The list of ingredients and what you have to do with each of them is more detailed than the secrets of the universe. You are ready, choppers, shredders, cutting boards, washed off fresh herbs, veggies, whatever is needed. You start in on it.  All of the sudden your back is a little stiff from standing, your feet might be a little sore, you are wondering how the author of the recipe said prep time was 25 minutes and you are about 1 1/2 hrs into prepping for this anticipated end result. There comes a point when you might think you have already chopped ____ in the freezer, or in a can… but you endure. It comes out wonderful in the end. You are so thankful you endured…

The list of situations goes on. As I am about to conquer another day,  it is yet another scenario of morning to nighttime sleep—-I am thinking about various things  I anticipate will fill this day, what needs to, and what I would like  to get done, and I will ponder more on how to make the middle- that space, how to make that as exciting as the beginning and end.

Until later, enjoy the middle of those starts and finishes… Mrs Justa alias Cindy

 

 

 

 

Responsibility

 

Another day is dawning,  memories to be made, impressions to leave, moments unchangeable.

As the day begins, as the next step is about to happen, the next minute here among us, I am thinking about life and the effects we have on it.

 

RESPONSIBILITY:  We all are responsible for our actions. This goes for every single thing we do. We can not choose which things we do we are and are not responsible for. Nope, we own each thing we do.

That is a huge responsibility. Why, because sometimes the things we do, we don’t even realize or think about the end result, we get wrapped up in a moment or jump on the proverbial “bandwagon”. However, as we travel down the twists and turns of life’s journey,  and at the end of our road in life, it is us and us alone who individually made choices.

I say this because of many reasons, many reasons I myself have chosen to do things, and once they were done, well there was no rewind, no “gee I didn’t mean to be that way, or “I didn’t mean to do that” or “I didn’t mean to _______”.  The “I wish I had” thoughts do not count.

There have been things I have said, I can not take back. Actions I did, I can not undo. As a nurse, I have cared for patients who would say, “I knew better” or “If I only had never smoked” or “I took the chance ____”   Notice the similarity– “If I only had not or didn’t”

My parents would say to me when I did something I totally should not have, “You know better than that” or ” Bet you won’t do that again” or “what did you learn from that?”. And as I was growing up, she would wipe the wound ( physical or not) and guide me through the why’s and maybe even have suggestions on how to deal with that scenario in the future. They were preparing me for my future.

As we grow up we are still responsible for our actions. There are consequences to what is done, said, or ignored. If any of us are asked to do something and we say we will, if we then do it halfway, or not appropriately – if we take a risk, a dare—- we cannot go back and get those minutes to undo it.

In our roles in life, ( being a friend, an adult, a mentor, a stranger, a human being ) whether at work or in any environment around us, writing anything in social media, in an article,  we can not take it back. It paints a picture of us that can not be painted over, the “delete” does not remove words or photos or actions done.

Our reactions to something said or done, we can not undo that either. In life I have found to tread softly at times, to think before doing or saying, and to appreciate and take responsibility to every minute I am on this earth.

What image are we giving? What actions are we doing? What consequences because of those actions, or lack of actions are there? What image have I left?

Those are my thoughts this morning, something I will remember as I get ready for another day to be the best I can be.

Until later, Mrs Justa alias Cindy

 

 

Challenges or a Way Of Life

On any given day, I can look out the window and think “Oh look, the sun is up”…. period… But no- there is more… see beyond the noticing of the sunrise in the quiet of things in front of me was a glistening world of diamond-like sparkles. A cold crisp early morning gift, a gift that many may have not seen, a gift that can turn into a snowy plain ol day.

 

 

 

 

Yet, right there for all to see, a refreshing light show of sparkling colors.

It brought once again to mind thought about life. How when we are faced with things that seem monumental, we look at the proverbial mountain ( or in this case maybe a quick noticing the sun is rising) and we are overwhelmed at the tasks at hand at the end of a particular journey. Sometimes it is easier to dwell on that obstacle, which takes us longer to put it behind us.

Life can feel like it is hard at times, life is full of mountains to climb, sometimes valleys to drudge through. Plenty of times I have slipped on the proverbial mountain wandered off the proverbial path and had to retrace my steps, maybe find a slightly less challenging path to go on.

There was one person in my life that told me once she never had challenges in life. I remember thinking “heck let me share some with you” but I did not offer, and she never asked to take a few from me, so I have gone on in life realizing that at least for me, challenges exist, they can be heart wrenching, they can be touch and we conquer them one by one step at a time.

Photo by Alex Smith on Pexels.com

As I look back at this person who said this to me, as I came to know her a tad bit more many yrs ago, I now wonder- maybe just maybe she had the ability to look at those diamond-like crystals, and not just at that sunrise from afar. I think that because I truly believe we ALL face moments when life has tried to knock us down.

Maybe this person was able to anticipate but not look for that next roadblock or detour on her journey of life. If we know that challenges will lie ahead, but if we look at them as not roadblocks but the way the path takes us, then maybe we too can feel that life has been good, no matter what part of our journey we are on.

I, myself, and going to try to work on this. As I take each next step on this road of life, I will anticipate some bumps and hairpin curves, knowing the road will straighten up. To now look so far ahead, but to look at now and a few feet ahead. Not so much only living for today,, but planning for tomorrow and in those plans, the “challenges” will become part of the process.

OK, I am off to try this out, Until alter… Mrs Justa alias Cindy

 

 

 

 

“I Already Know”

I guess I never thought about this until I heard it a whole bunch of times in different settings this Thanksgiving weekend.

I saw myself doing it, and also heard it done to others. First, let me say all the social media outlets CAN BE wonderful when used as a means to give many “friends, family and acquaintances” the same bullet point information at one time. A way to create a page not yet colored in that person’s life.

Let’s say you graduated or had a baby or an exciting time at _______,  it is to share an extremely tough time or the passing of a person that you would never have known about, or a way to type in a verse or 2 about the loss you have endured. It is something, some time had it not been shared on f.b., twitter, or any of the others outlets to communicate.

It is a great way to share photos of a gathering many attended, or maybe that perfect moment you stumbled on. Those times when without sharing on social media, well it would never have been experienced in a very 2D way.

Looking at this picture- one that was probably on a facebook post, it shows a wedding, but without the personal touch, the conversation, the painting done with words, there is so much more that can fill in the outline of a “wedding”

If, however, someone starts face to face- or voice to voice on the phone- about something- well that is the beginning of an opportunity to converse. They want to make that 2D, quick blurb into a 3D moment. Voices, faces they add expression to the time they are referring to, or to the sad or happy moment captured and shared. That person wanted to put color into the social media bullet point. We ( and I can not count the times I did it) can stop the conversation, we can keep that moment just a bullet point in time, we can portrait we do not really care by interrupting- or making our first ( and often our last) response by saying ” Yeah , I already know” or “Yeah,I saw it on f.b.” .

Now if the same person starts the conversation and mentions they also had it on Facebook, ( or whatever media they put it on) we need to stop and listen. That conversation you are about to be blessed with, well it adds the personal component.

Or if you see that person, you could always start the conversation with that tidbit of their life they shared. An opportunity to bring a personal touch to a moment they shared on facebook. That can be a great time to show you care and want to hear more.

We will never ever know what we missed if we close that opportunity to have color added to social media bullet points if we stop the conversation before the colors fill in the moment in their life.

My mission for today and going forward is to let the other person not only bring up the topic but to let them take that outline, that bullet point, and add their words to it, their nonverbals, their feelings.

Until later, Mrs. Justa/ alias Cindy

 

Practice creates ……

I was thinking this past week about learning something new or doing something repetitively and what is the end result.

Last weekend, we had the Black Belt Ceremony I mentioned a few posts back. Those individuals did not just wake up one morning and poof could work in synchronization with a stage full of other, they couldn’t make those moves and stay focused just by thinking about it.

This thought surfaces a lot to me. Everywhere we go, what we see, our jobs, our walking, driving, interactions, those improve often by doing them over and over again. This becomes even deeper of a thought when we get into every day.

I was reminded the other day of our day to day life. While I was in a waiting room, I overheard a person say on her cell phone that she prefers to text people, and not have them call her. She said to the person on the phone something about being more comfortable communicating that way, she can put down what she wants without to SAY.

That comment she made, well it made me think about all the things we have at our fingertips to make life easier, to be able to move at a faster pace. Each thing has its benefits- however, they should not replace the more personal, hands-on, practicing talent, task, interactions or skill.

When I have been trained, and when I have trained others. The teaching included showing the pieces to the action being taught, having the other demonstrate the action/ talent/ skill being taught, and letting the trainee do it themselves over and over again, but having the steps checked until it is assured they know it more naturally. I currently am going through one of those teachings, showing and demonstrating times in my life. Learning a new role at work, listening, taking notes, seeing it done, and having the “baton” passed so I can demonstrate I am becoming more comfortable and confident in each step. As the days pass, and I look back a couple months, I realize how far I have come, yet am realistic at the journey ahead as more processes and steps are introduced and one day become something I am proficient at.

Even though life is like that, we need to make darn sure before we take the “easy” way, we have personally become comfortable in a more personal way. We need also to understand practice makes us more proficient. From learning how to walk, and being able to walk… to learning how to add, subtract, speak in an intellectual conversation, cook, doing a game, reading a book, the list is infinite.

Virtual meetings, training, communicating makes so much of life so much better. We can jot a thought in an instant message at 2AM, and the other person can get it whenever they are awake…  Yet, there is a fine line when we could realize that our personal relationships, our whole life has become virtual. If life gets to a point when we could move away, go to a different city, state, country, and our life would be the same, no one would even know we moved, that is a  message that we have not only taken advantage of the virtual life conveniences, we have let them take over us.

When was the last time you …. fill in the blank? And if the power was off / the internet down/ ( that list goes on and on too) … do you know how to improvise?

When was the last time you looked into a personal eyes and spoke – face to face? When was the last time you touched a deck of cards or held a book? Have you ever done a no electronics evening or weekend?

Even though the modern conveniences make life able to be more productive, more chaotic, more impersonal, we need to stop and not let it replace the 3D life we are blessed with. I would rather hold a child’s hand, then hold a cell phone and screen chat. I would rather sit at a table and play a game of ( the list is so long… ie: cards, Yahtzee, Scrabble, Sorry, Trouble….. and on and on) than to only ever play it on my electronic device.

Yes, the books on our electronic devices are great, and being able to do a 1000 piece puzzle and never worry about that one lost piece or someone messing it up… those are all great. I just do not to ever become so dependent on the “no touch” that it becomes me.

As this weekend begins, I am looking forward to what the day will bring, who will I personally see face to face? Who will I talk to and not type my words to? What will I do that is hands on? What will I remember more vividly because of those one to one moments? I am off to experience life and all there is in the minutes ahead.

Until later, Mrs Justa alias Cindy

 

 

 

 

 

Words

Words are very powerful. Words can inspire a person to go further, to try to find the next step, to get up the next day. Words from a child are so precious, words to a child can help to create thoughts and inspire them to explore, to learn.

Words in our lives, some flow through and we are unaffected by them. Others though, they are stopped in the heart, the soul, and can create wonderful things to happen.

Words are also very powerful, and once said, we can not take them back. We can not dash over and block them from being heard. My life’s lessons have taught me many things, little things and not so little. One of the messages embedded in my being is that it is so important to think before I speak ( or write).

Once I release a word or series of them, I can not retrieve them. And so it is also true that once words are said to another, that other person has them, and it is they who receive them and how they perceive the words are meant.

So as today begins, I am focusing on the words from me, and remembering that a word can be as soft as a fluffy pillow, or sharper than the sharpest knife, only owned by me until I release them. It is a lesson in life I truly believe some people have discarded, or ignored, and others have become proficient in the art or using words.

Think back for a moment, what words have been said to you, that are now saved in gold in your heart and mind.  As the day begins, as each next day of our lives go on, what words do we want to be remembered by someone else, for the rest of their lives? Words are a powerful tool.

Until the next post… Mrs Justa alias Cindy

 

Working Hard

In life every minute can be a challenge. We can waste each minute or take advantage of the gift of minutes we each have.

We have different abilities, different talents, sometimes talents lay dormant because we have not discovered them yet. In this world we live, it is easier to let the world take our moments in a pace paced chaos if we let it.

I am inspired and in awe at the events of yesterday/ and also last year around this time. Preston earned his 1st degree Black Belt and the ceremony was yesterday. Brandon was on the “demo” team, and also was a part of the ceremony. Brandon received his Black Belt last year.

Watching the kids as they have gone from a new karate student to this level is amazing. It is such a commitment, incredibly hard work, however, the work is a desire, and not a “just do it because I said so”.

Each and every candidate forBlack Belt knows it is not given to you. There are goals to achieve, endurance to demonstrate, and hours upon hours of being focused on the tasks, the life-changing things you learn and commit to.

The students have actions of respect that they need to follow. Respect for the studio, respect for the people in their lives, respect for themselves and for the experience of those who are above them in experience. Yet also a compassion to help those not yet at the level they are at.

Yesterday was an incredible ceremony, the demo team doing performances that display their ability to go beyond their previous Black Belt Level. The candidates, no matter what level of Black Belt they were going for, their group became one. You funnel all of the students together, from 8 to probably 60 yrs old, and it displays a Karate family. Not in words on a paper, but in their total respect for the leaders, for each other.

I was so glad to be a spectator of the event, to see this commitment, and it was weird but as I observed people in the audience ( and the auditorium was packed!!), not anyone took their eyes off the stage. The entire experience was amazing.

I remember last year when Sensei said to his class- the day of the Ceremony is a fun day, enjoy the acknowledgment of your hard work, the next day, it is looking forward to your next steps. Watching the participants at the gathering after, it was amazing how confident the trainers are, how welcoming everyone is with one another, how respectful they were. Even on the “fun” day, they never lost the skills of life they have learned and will continue to learn.

 

Mrs Justa and sunsets and full moons.

Well it has been a very long while since I popped over here to this home of my thoughts. Life seems to be a little chaotic, a lot busy and sometimes full of unpredictable things.

Work is good, it is never ever boring, and very fast pace. Changes within the government on healthcare reform, changes in medical treatments and advances in current treatments and medications, it is always an opportunity to learn more new stuff.

Mark and I will occasionally go to Oswego and watch the sun set. It is so darn peaceful up there, and a place to kind of put life in a temporary hold pattern. Sunsets and the time just before them is a favorite time of day for both of us.

It is a time when the world slowly changes yet I feel I can stop.

It is a time to reflect on the day passing behind us, and planning for the day that is yet to be.

It almost feels like no matter what happened- it is a closing of a chapter and an opportunity to start a new chapter- fresh.

It is a time to relax and know that the bed is not too many hours away.

My days are busy, I really love my job, and the people I work with are good people. So all that together makes an environment where a day is something to look forward to doing. Have you ever been in a situation you hated? Boy the day drags, the clock seems like a minute is an hour.

I am so thankful that I have the days that fly by!.However, as the days fly by, that means the years fly by.

Our grand children are growing fast, our little guy Brandon just had pre-k graduation! We were able to get to it, the school had it in the evening.  It was so cool to see how hard the class worked for this.They sang a variety of songs, choreographed, and one with even sign language too.

Wow next year kindergarten.

 

And this weekend our niece is graduating from high school. Gee whiz… time flies.

But fortunately as time flies, we learn lessons, we learn that things in life do not always have to matter, we learn that life is short, we learn that there is a reason for everything, sometimes it takes a lifetime to try to figure it out.

This weekend is the “Strawberry Moon” as it was referred to in the news article today. Tomorrow it is supposed to be the best night to see it. I can not wait. For somewhere in the child part of my brain, many many year ago, I found comfort in believing those who had died , those who meant something to me, that they could sit on the moon and watch over me. I refuse to let that comfort go. Tomorrow night- I will be watching the moon, waving to my mom, dad, sister and grandparents…. making loving faces to our dogs and cats…. and trying to capture the moment on film. I hope you too can see it….what ever it will look like. Lots of love to all, Mrs Justa alias Cindy

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Mrs Justa and Evil must go

We must never ever give up. We must never let the evil in the world suck us into a path of negativism We can never let little people , who want to cause us harm, become big people.

The horrors of this week in Massachusetts reminded me about how insensitive people can be.  How can someone come from a tiny baby to a person who has absolutely no respect for human life, no worry about the consequences of their actions, and be spineless enough to do an act like this and than hide.

In the world we live in, there are so many cameras and monitoring devices, I really hope someone looks at the photos on fbi.gov ( these are from the site) and calls the authorities. Someone has to know who these guys are. These young people are someone’s neighbors, someone’s friend, someone brother, someone’s son.  Someone has to know who they are. They need to come forward-if they did not do it..say so… if they did they need to fess up to their actions….

So many tragedies, so many senseless loss of life , limb, innocence. There is a saying “what goes around, comes around.” They will get theirs…

Everything else in my life seems trivial as I watch the suffering of those who are affected.

Evil affects us all…if we let it…

Our 4 yrs old grandson was telling me that teacher in pre-K taught the class  what to do if a mean person comes to the school. He talked about where they had to group, and they had to be VERY quiet….

When he was over here last Saturday night, he told me he brought his secret weapon. I asked him what it was, and he pulled out a life guard whistle, he assured me if anyone came to the house he would blow it so loud that the neighbors would hear it.  I tried to comfort him by telling him the Grandma and Grandpa would be here and he was safe. That night as I went to put him in his bed, he asked for the 2 top covers to be left at the foot of the bed. He wanted us to come back in later and pull them up. He said when his daddy works evenings, he has his mom do the same thing. He said that way , if he wakes up at night and his blankets are all on him, he knows he was checked on, he feels safe.

So at 11:30 I tip toed in his room, I raised his covers up, and out of the corner of my eye, on the head of the bed , lay his whistle. JUST IN CASE>>>>>

It saddened me….I was thinking that with all the media, all the evil that makes and sells stories… we are taking the innocence and wonder of being a child and tarnished it. I hope that we as a society can find more joy in the goodness of people and not the bad. I think if we were stricter with punishment on people.. a do unto others type punishment..maybe we would see less evil in the end. Someone wants to literally rip apart bodies with a home made explosive device—well when they are caught… attach a similar device to them—so they can not escape… —some one want to shots people—then they should be shot the same way…  someone rapes someone…then they too get raped viciously…

Because locking people up…giving them 3 meals a day…and trying to rehabilitate them…. it is not lessening crime or the level of intensity to it. Lets looks for the good in life.. we have to… Love to all Mrs Justa alias Cindy

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Mrs Justa and the dog will be here soon

The anticipation of getting a pet is overwhelming at times. Did we get everything we will need? Will she like the food? Will she tell us when she has to go out? Will she listen? Is she a chewer? How long will Imus and the new dog take to accept one another?

Tomorrow we hope we can get her. She was spayed today and they said by around noon she should be all set to come home. 

We met our friends tonight and had dinner. It was kind of weird-our excitement and their not even beginning to comprehend why we would do  this life changing event. They are not pet people.. we are. It is similar to my not liking boating, or having horses.

We all have our interests, our compassions. I try to understand those who really like something that I just look at and say “ What am I missing?”

But it is natural for us to prepare for a dog.. my goodness, dogs can be such an intricate part of our lives..and we swore we would never get another..but her story—her smile… she won us over… This is like preparing for a new kid in 24 hrs!. Oh you will have to watch for some photos… her leaving the shelter, her riding in the car..her coming to her new home…

yep—a new little girl in the house. Can not wait!.

Have a great night…. love to all.. it is late—I am going in a zillion directions..and I gotta stop and SLEEP… love to all.. Mrs Justa alias Cindy

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Mrs Justa and people in the wrong business

Have you ever come across a person that just should not be doing the job they are doing? I mean maybe they are a good worker..but the job they have… just not meeting their mannerisms.. Ya just wanna say… “HELLO__ANYONE IN THERE??”

Tonight we went to our main  grocery store and there was a new cashier there. She was pretty focused on her work, but see this grocery store is a bag you own grocery store, so the cashiers put the rung up  items in your cart and you bag your groceries at a huge counter area after they are through.

She was scanning stuff and I noticed the more she did, that she was dropping the groceries in the cart. It really did not matter what the item was… can, bananas, lettuce… nope they all got equal treatment… swing arm over cart with about a foot clearance above the cart…. –open hand—and plop… GRRRR… the turn the other cheek part of me was ready to stop turning and say something—but than I thought that might increase her distance from the place she held the grocery items to the place they landed.

Now she might be good as a female boxer…. but a cashier at a grocery store –not so much…

There is a place just up the road from us that changed owners this past summer. It is a gas station with an eatery and it is a  lottery ticket place, has some aisles with some food items for those in a hurry and not worried about paying 3 x the cost in a grocery store… well the people behind the counter—they almost growl when you come up to the register. No eye contact, their movements and mannerisms are as if the customer is bothering them. They are probably late teens early 20s..and man oh man… I just want to say something… Like  “NEWS FLASH>>> without the customers..you would not be here!!!” and than slap them a couple times   ( Just kidding about slapping them!)

Yep…than earlier  today one of the nurses was on the phone with an office that needed an authorization for an MRI for a patient. The nurse reviewed the info and was ready to give the person the authorization number..and she said—“Oh wait a minute..I have to put down my MAGAZINE !!!” Are ya kidding me????? Bet the docs would love to know their employee is reading magazines while working… Oh the list goes on and on….

I am just amazed…. so I am off now to cut one of the bruised bananas up…life goes on… (at least she did not drop the eggs !!!. I was worried she was going to..) Love to all, Mrs Justa alias Cindy  Thanks to free clipart/google images for these images tonight…

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Mrs Justa and let’s work to make the country whole

Teaching children to be responsible…we need to do that. We need to teach children respect. We need to let children know they are loved, but not let them think they are special to the whole world. I remember as Jeff was growing up, I would tell him he was special to me. I taught him how to pick things up, how to take care of his belongings, and how to behave. He grew up knowing he was sometimes acting in a not so favorable behavior- but I never ever told him he was a bad boy. If we do not teach our kids of the world at young ages that YES does not happen every time… and that they can handle NO. That time out happens…. and that you do not always get things the way you want them to be.

We need to take time to get down on the floor and play with the kids, instead of giving them electronic devices, or TVs to consume their days with. Time with our kids, time with our pre teens, time with our youth is not guaranteed. I heard a teen talking to their parent the other day, and the parent said- “I did not know that, why didn’t you tell me”….. the answer was..”because you are always too busy. I did not want to bother you” AS I heard this exchange in the store… I realized this is probably more the norm than any of us want to admit.

As I am exposed to people in different settings, I run across people who lack respect for others, people who think the world owes them a living, who have absolutely no compassion for others..we-as parents, as grandparents, as mentors—we need to help one child or youth  at a time to understand the world revolves-but not because they are on it.

It is a fine line between letting a child know they are loved, and having a child expect everyone to love them. For those kids that grow up expecting everyone to love them..they are headed towards ridicule and heart ache. It just does not happen that way. Kids need to know about the free things in life… about time spent with others is worth more than the video game…

I look at the country, I listen to NO_BAMA talking… and I hear and see a major entitlement syndrome. There is an expectation that we should get out of the way for the privileged believing ones to go by. Let’s all work together to help to make the world we live in , one of gratitude..and not expectations….. : one of pride..and not of greed: one of prosperity..and not one of poverty.

Together we can move the mountain..

singly—we can be filled with regret and disappointment as the mountain stays put.

Do your part…. let’s all do something every day. love Mrs Justa..alias Cindy

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Mrs Justa and lessons in life…

We should  not complain about life—it is what we make it – when we are dealt different cards. There is no guarantee how life will turn out, no one ever said it would be easy..and if they did—they were giving you a line of bull… .

I remember after my marriage of 5 yrs just kind of crumbled— it has become fresh to me as I was looking through a photo album looking for a picture of Jeff. He was 2 1/2 when we broke up… and all of the sudden it was him and me .. on our own…. I went from a stay at home mom ..to a single mom. I found a job… found an apartment… found a day care… and had no idea how my 10,000.00 a yr job would get us through it ..but I was darn determined to be strong for him. Jeff no longer had a mom and dad in the same home… and his mom was not with him 24 /7 …but we made each day the best we could. We ran shallow baths, kept few lights on, read books,  I bought sheets of insulation board and cut them to fit in the window openings- covered them with fabric from the thrift shop…to make them look pleasant on the outside-this saved on heat… we rarely  had meals out.. we kept the heat down and covers up… we walked places… we played with trucks and cars in the apartment.. went to playgrounds… found there is so much to do that is free…. we learned it was not what you had—but who you had in your life that mattered….

This is a picture of him at the grocery store by our apartment. He has a fund raiser for day care- selling Easter Candy—the store let us set up shop outside—I had a TV tray, a cheap folding chair, a cloth for his table..we made a make shift sign and he decided his stuffed bunny rabbit would bring him luck.. He sold all his candy—his smile never stopped… that was the one thing about this little guy—no matter what obstacles we faced—his smile and belly laugh kept me going. I truly believe the whole break up—the enduring the challenges—it made us both stronger…

My little boy is going to be 30 soon..this photo is of his 3rd birthday… he would smile like each gift was a million bucks… money was so tight—I got him what I could.. but he never felt he was getting cheated—he treasured every single thing… he would laugh, a big broad smile and say a BIG AWW thank you each time he received something.

I am so thankful for all the time I have had with him… he was why I did not just run away when the marriage failed… he was what made me keep plugging forward… I truly feel that because of the marriage break up- the time we had together was appreciated more-it was quality time… I never would have met Mark or Adrianne if it had not gone in this direction..never would have gone into nursing school when Jeff started kindergarten, never would be where I am now in life –if it had not been for the incredible problems and pain along the way….

Someone long ago said something to be when I asked “How could God let this happen?” The scenario was we- as kids are sometimes told by our parents to do things… we do not know why.. sometimes in the back of our minds we think our parents are off base..do not know anything… we totally do not understand why they asked us to do something.. or what they see in the future. Just the same is the scenario of God and all of us are his children. This person said that when things happen that we just do not understand –we feel betrayed-lost- maybe even question God… but then years later—maybe a lifetime later— we look back and see there was something in that time that resulted in something else. They also said—we are not ever going to understand God—we are not God. Faith … I have to have faith….

Faith … trusting that you will be caught when you feel tossed in the air of life…knowing His hands are not far away…

… Faith

I personally can go over many times in my life that when I was going through the pain, the loss, the total lack of anything making sense..when I hurt so bad I wondered at  if God forgot me…How could God let that happen … and as I look back—all the instances resulted in something that made me stronger—built character—taught me how to endure—reminded me that I need to accept whatever comes along as another step in my life. I need to remember to see what I can do with it….and realize that I am not the parent …. I am one of the children…to know that doors will close—and not let one opening pass by…

Love to all.. Mrs Justa.. alias Cindy

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Mrs Justa and do not lose the focus on the campaign trail

I can not believe how silly and foolish the GOP candidates are being. I am not sure who is funding whose attacks against the candidates. It is rather odd that anytime someone other than Romney is in the possible lead—than that person is personally attacked. We have some STRONG candidates, yet this petty bull crap is a total waste of time and money.

My goodness guys… stand tall and let the American people know what you want to do to turn this incredible frightening situation  we are in, and try to get us on track again.

I salute people who put everything aside and try to become president. Especially in this time, with the media so much  on the left- that they hide the problems of today. The attacks , the vendettas, the misdirection, the blah blah blahs…. .

I believe as a united country, if we stop all this momentum before it spins out of control, that we can work to stabilize us. But it will take compromise, determination, and staying away from the money printing and China’s money. We need a president who will wear his BIG BOY pants and be a president , a leader…. and not continually—( all thru the presidency_  be acting like he is still campaigning.

All the petty stuff, does not matter – let’s rally together and let the potential voters of America clearly see what is being proposed by the GOPs. Don’t the GOPs see that No-bama and his cronies are sitting there just watching the GOPS spend money hand over fist- to mud sling.

Focus guys, show why YOU would be a great president….

Because there are a few of you who would !. Make US proud…. there are plenty of people in the country looking for something better….looking for the USA to stand for a united country….

Love to all… be strong. Mrs Justa alias Cindy

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