unreasonable


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A Sunday morning ride,

a search for something different,

a seeking to find a hidden gem for

breakfast in Oswego.

As we were driving north into the city of Oswego, out of the corner of my eye I saw a place that looked like it might have been a small quaint place.

We headed north thinking we would go to the restaurant that is off the side of a hotel and over looks the Oswego River. But alas.. it does not open for breakfast, so we headed back down south a bit and I asked Mark to drive past this place I saw.

We found it… and yes it was a small Mom and POP restaurant… We went inside , there were maybe a total of 5 booths…. a counter that was like the old ice cream parlors…. memorabilia hanging on the walls.. We thought we had found the perfect spot.

We got to sit in a booth after they cleaned it up from the last people. They had fairly full  menus, and coffee,  and prices not bad.

We each ordered an omelet… Marks vegetable, mine bacon and cheddar( well done). I ordered Italian bread and if they did not have any—than wheat would do. Mark went for a biscuit. It took quite a long time to get our order… and as we sat there sipping our coffee and observing our surroundings… we both silently were thinking this was going from good ..to not so good. There was a 6.99 breakfast buffet ( that is what they called it ) which consisted of 4 different  aluminum banquet pans with just one burner under them ( it could have had 2-3. 0 In the hour plus we had sat there NO ONE had done anything with the food in these containers… no stirring, no replacing, no checking for if it needed replacing or stirring.

Finally our meal came out andimagesCAFNID1Y I poked my omelet ( I always check my eggs to make sure they are well done… and white goop came out… uuuck !!! In times like this…..I always have to find my inner self control button.. because I felt like throwing up!. The toast was buttered when the toast was already was cold, the food was not really warm. And I got Italian and wheat toast. In my mind I am thinking … “GO ahead..eat the eggs… do not complain…. … just grow up!!” and than there is another part stating “ Do not get sick, have it cooked thoroughly” Mark flagged down the rather stressed out waitress and asked if they could cook the eggs more—I requested  it well done. They took it back, flipped it on the grill for a mega second..and brought it back…. and from then on—she was not smiling at us any more… it was like we were the enemy.The omelet  was not really much better…so I left it and wolfed down the toast..and the spare toast… and to top it off… we had to rush home after because it gave us both the “I GOTTA GO NOWS”

I gotta tell ya…. it is 9 hrs later now..and I am still kinda queasy… What is so darn hard about cooking eggs totally? Needless to say.. the “gem” we thought we found was not!!!.

100_0379Than this afternoon I was thrilled that the weather held up, sunny, warm… got to work on the area under the sign for our development we live in…

 

All in all… even with the yucky omelet… this weekend was ducky… Smile Hope you had a good weekend too… Love to all Mrs. Justa alias Cindy

6-25-2012 Syracuse and Oswego NY 004

We must never ever give up. We must never let the evil in the world suck us into a path of negativism We can never let little people , who want to cause us harm, become big people.

The horrors of this week in Massachusetts reminded me about how insensitive people can be.  How can someone come from a tiny baby to a person who has absolutely no respect for human life, no worry about the consequences of their actions, and be spineless enough to do an act like this and than hide.

In the world we live in,563856_10151599873930351_1135931674_n[1] there are so many cameras and monitoring devices, I really hope someone looks at the photos on fbi.gov ( these are from the site) and calls the authorities. Someone has to know who these guys are. These young people are someone’s neighbors, someone’s friend, someone brother, someone’s son.  Someone has to know who they are. They need to come forward-if they did not do it..say so… if they did they need to fess up to their actions….

So many tragedies, so many senseless loss of life , limb, innocence. There is a saying “what goes around, comes around.” They will get theirs…

Everything else in my life seems trivial as I watch the suffering of those who are affected.

Evil affects us all…if we let it…

Rileys bent crate and having the boys over 11-17-12 007Our 4 yrs old grandson was telling me that teacher in pre-K taught the class  what to do if a mean person comes to the school. He talked about where they had to group, and they had to be VERY quiet….

When he was over here last Saturday night, he told me he brought his secret weapon. I asked him what it was, and he pulled out a life guard whistle, he assured me if anyone came to the house he would blow it so loud that the neighbors would hear it.  I tried to comfort him by telling him the Grandma and Grandpa would be here and he was safe. That night as I went to put him in his bed, he asked for the 2 top covers to be left at the foot of the bed. He wanted us to come back in later and pull them up. He said when his daddy works evenings, he has his mom do the same thing. He said that way , if he wakes up at night and his blankets are all on him, he knows he was checked on, he feels safe.

So at 11:30 I tip toed in his room, I raised his covers up, and out of the corner of my eye, on the head of the bed , lay his whistle. JUST IN CASE>>>>>

It saddened me…100_0027.I was thinking that with all the media, all the evil that makes and sells stories… we are taking the innocence and wonder of being a child and tarnished it. I hope that we as a society can find more joy in the goodness of people and not the bad. I think if we were stricter with punishment on people.. a do unto others type punishment..maybe we would see less evil in the end. Someone wants to literally rip apart bodies with a home made explosive device—well when they are caught… attach a similar device to them—so they can not escape… —some one want to shots people—then they should be shot the same way…  someone rapes someone…then they too get raped viciously…

Because locking people up…giving them 3 meals a day…and trying to rehabilitate them…. it is not lessening crime or the level of intensity to it. Lets looks for the good in life.. we have to… Love to all Mrs Justa alias Cindy

I read a book a few weeks ago and it has created all sorts of emotions and thoughts. The book was written by a survivor of child abuse. This is the cover of the book… img-thing[1]

I kid you not, it was VERY hard to read, but I was not going to stop. WHY?? Because this poor little boy..who miraculously made it through years of torture to become a man—well he could not quit from what his life was.

As I read this, my heart ached, I was so darn angry with social services and the mother… with the brothers and step dad…. 

The presentation of how things were on the outside of the house, in no way were really what was happening behind closed doors.

As I read it, I thought that most kids probably never grow up to share what they went through, to show they survived… No , I am thinking most kids would have died in the torture. The mom put on a front that the child was evil, the child was aggressive, the child was mean, the child had problems, the child was mute… AND it was easier for those on the outside to label the child instead of trying to figure out what made the child act the way he did…

I think we  do that in society.. we tend to take the easy way out. This got me to think about Riley… our dog. Riley comes home 6-29-2012 028She had such lost sad eyes when we brought her home that day from the kennel…..… She cowered when you called her, she shook and trembled if she thought she was in trouble, she had a sense of fear to her…

She had horrible separation anxiety, she panicked, she hyperventilated, she literally freaked out if we left the house.

We made comments about “That is why her previous owners abandoned her” and “She has issues.” ///But ya know what—we did not give up on her…( We almost did !!)fortunately we got thinking and  we did not just accept the way she was as a final.. That breaks my heart at the thought that we almost gave up on her.

After her 2 weeks in early winter at the K9 training camp—2 weeks of not seeing her, of her being treated well, but like a dog… she is okay now. We can leave her in the house, no crate or cage….  and go out for up to 6 hrs..she is fine. We do not have to limit her access to rooms.. she is a calmer dog…. , and seems more controlled  now.. It was what her previous owners did to her that made her how she was… not that she was bad.

She is a sweetheart… she loves to be with us,she is GREAT with people and the grandkids….. she is playful….  but now it is ok when we leave. She goes to doggie playcare 1 day a week, and they say she darts around for the entire time, frolicking, running.. non stop.

How many kids…. how many pets… have we as a society let down? Why… because it was easier to say they had the problem… than to figure out what made the behavior….. easier than to try to fix it…

yep, that book will live with me for a very long time… And Joe Peters’…. wherever you are…. I am so sorry for the let down you must have felt over and over again.and thank you for sharing this …. it really opened my eyes…

Love to all… Mrs Justa alias Cindy

Last night we were playing words with friends against one another. It was around 11 at night. We had the scanner on , and there were some faint angry voices. I thought it was background in the scanner, but when I turned it off..it was actually people yelling at one another. Mark had heard it first, and I was kinda blowing it off… but than I realized it was cause for concern.

So we shut everything off, turned off the lights and started looking out in the darkness.

Immediately I am thinking the worse— we have people who just moved in across the street on Friday night—I am thinking   “Great—we get to listen to people yelling at one another all the time” I was thinking about how this quiet country life was about to change.

6-25-2012 Syracuse and Oswego NY 047But alas—it was a neighbor who lives quite a ways back from us—his driveway however runs along the entire length of our property. He is divorced and I guess his x decided to come over for a visit. It sounded like he did not expect her too….

He does not plow his driveway often-and gets up and down it okay… her NOT SO MUCH.

She drove off the driveway and was stuck. And she was really stuck. Her idea of getting out of the bind was revving the engine and spinning the tires.

He was screaming at her- he did not want her there, did not invite her and once she is unstuck—basically in not so nice tone—get the heck off the property.

We eventually went over to see if our pick up truck could help and we brought some salt over…but our pick up almost got stuck at the foot of his driveway-so we knew that was not going to work… – Mark is not really able to push and shovel her out—so he offered to try to drive her vehicle while the neighbor pushed it..and later they switched and he threw salt under the spinning tires while the neighbor rocked the vehicle.

Eventually it got out..100_0410and through it all… all the screaming and ugliness that they were sharing with one another before we went out there. I thought about life. How  for some people they  meet someone, they think it is true love, they get married, they have kids… and down the road of life it turns into this shouting obscenities- displaying total hate for one another. What made the switch? did they not feed their relationship through the year..and all of the sudden love turned to hate?

When we make a commitment—we need to nurture the commitment, feed the relationship, never stop talking, tell each other when something is bothering you…. for if relationships are not fed, treated carefully— they corrode… they crumble… and you end up with this. ..Just a thought…. Mrs Justa alias Cindy

Have you ever been so afraid that the fear takes over you?

And what caused you to have that reaction? What things could have happened to make you so scared?

I ask myself that over and over again as we try to work with Riley and her almost Godzilla strength when she starts to freak out. As I posted a couple of posts ago—we had to d/c the big open crate and go with the solid crate.

Well, she was in the crate Thurs evening for a few hours… actually what we know is she was put in the crate at 5:30… We returned at 8:30 and she met us at the front door… Somehow..she got the door backwards, over the stopper that is supposed to keep it from going backwards into the crate, 100_0618

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How she got the 2 spring loaded posts out of their designated holes for locking the door..and how she got the door to go over the molded door stoppers… I will never know.

We had to take the entire crate apart to get the door back in the correct area. !

SOOO. I have wiped it down, we have taken it apart and we are trying her in the house with out being crated.

Riley is the most gentle , non aggressive dog we have ever come across. SO I can not imagine how she can bend the crates…

It really urks me how someone could have neglected or abused her before she was found and brought to the pound.

 

Riley comes home 6-29-2012 022This was Riley the day we brought her home.

She was not sure what way her life was turning. She did not know us, she could not tell us where she had been or what she had gone through.

But when we called her name..she cowered and belly crawled…

She has come a long way… now she looks at us differently now.

She loves her sweater….100_0621

We got it for her because she gets cold outside,. We got her a second one today.. a Christmas one with white fake fur on it !!

At least her eyes are not so sad anymore.

And today we tested her in the house for an hr. She appears to have done okay. The electric collar keeps her from barking…and that seems to keep her calmer. 100_0597

The kids love her..she loves the kids…

Hopefully we will be able to have her crate free..

And although it is not right to wish evil thoughts on people….whoever owned this precious dog before and treated her poorly… whoever let her go…dropped her off… whatever they did to have her be labeled a stray…. well I hope you pay for your cruelty you did to her.

And also.. thanks for being jerks… we have an awesome dog because of YOU!!!!.

I am off to pet our dog now….

Love to all. Mrs Justa alias Cindy…

Rileys bent crate and having the boys over 11-17-12 014Have you ever just wanted to run…run and run and run?

Nowhere in particular to go, just not wanting to be where you are at.

Last week felt like that I think for everyone around me. Mark would have loved to run from himself, me, I would have loved to run from the stress of the week…and

Now that I think of it.. even Riley tried to break clean of her fears and panic…..

Rileys bent crate and having the boys over 11-17-12 001

This is Riley’s crate. She is terrified of being left in the crate, and yet she has not proven she is much nicer to the house outside of the crate. So if we had to leave for a while, we crated her….

If you look at the bottom of the crate, she bends it in by biting it, sticking her nose in it and trying to scooch out of it with the door closed and locked. This time she bent it enough in that she literally was scratching at that rug, she got the rug inside the crate and started gnawing on it, trying anything to escape from the crate. So.. the crate is folded up… Riley is on some antidepressants/ Obsessive compulsive meds to see if we can get her to overcome this panic disorder she gets when being left alone.

It really is sad to think that for some reason she is terrified of the crate. If I could find her original owners,RIley 7-19-2012 003 the ones that had to have been mean to her… well I would Have a few things to say to them. Might even smack them aside of their head!

How can people be cruel to another living being?

She is the sweetest dog, she loves to be with people, it is funny ..at night if she gets cold, she burrows under the blanket and sheet and sleeps way down at our feet. She will stay there for hrs.

She is great with the kids, she loves her stuffed animals, LOVES her food, yet deep inside her psychie— someone played with her head…. if she thinks you are angry with her..she cowers…… If you raise your voice out of emotion for anything – she thinks it is for her….

She belly crawls if she thinks she is in trouble. SO our dilemma in life is we have a dog..who hates when we leave. I have a call into the NY State dog whisperer..and we are going to see if he thinks this is something he could assist with. We also are going to try to get her into a doggie day care a couple times a week..and if there is a need for a few hrs of being watched as we try to come to a solution—than we will see if her kennel down the Oswego NY  6-11-12 003street would let her stay for a day.

So as our persistence to get to an end of her fear..

we need to STOP..and work with her.. Patience, positive reinforcement , determination, and slow down…go slow and make sure she feels comfortable along the way.

Please if you have a chance, and feel a tug in your heart… say a prayer for our little girl dog..and hope we can help her become at ease…. all the time.

Love to all….Mrs Justa alias Cindy

OK… I am trying to focus on writing and the wind is blowing so hard..I thought our furnace was malfunctioning and blowing super forced air through the vent. Our house is normally pretty quiet… do not hear wind… but tonight… holy shmolly… it is blowing big time. Just started—all of the sudden..The dog is pacing… and the wind smacking against the house.

So as I proceed..let’s hope the power and internet stay on. I was thinking about mental illness, and how many people suffer from it. Heck I look at this poor dog and see she even has a tad bit of mental illness . I had tried to tape a video of us trying to coax her in her crate..when she heard us say on the video to get in her house, she started trembling in here… oh I hope we can find things to work amd Oct 2011 055calm her down. This wind reminds me of what it is like to see a person ( or the dog !!) go through acute episodes of depression, anxiety or mania. It comes over them like a gust of wind, like huge waves… beating on their souls and emotions –like the wind is beating against the house.

Anxiety is a tough disorder, so is depression and mania. They all are real, and when they hit, the person going through it usually recognizes the problem and becomes more symptomatic realizing they can not stop it. It is like watching a person be a prisoner in their own body. I have taken care of patients and have been personally exposed to individuals who suffer from all of some of these illnesses. And there is nothing I can do to help when a full blown attack happens.

Oh I can try to stay calm, I can look for the sun ray through the dark cloud… but I feel inadequate, because I can not help to make to acute episodes subside. I can recognize when they are about to happen. But depending on the level of intensity they have..they can be like a tornado—taking down anything in their path.

For Riley… in the crate..when anxiety hits… NOTHING I can say or do will stop her from panting, trembling and bending the cage.

It is so opposite of her when she is not having an anxiety episode.

When I watch Mark deal with his high levels of anxiety, depression , mania—man again it hurts to watch, because there can be a path of destruction… he said the other day that it wears him out.. wears him down.

People I have met in life who have had similar disorders..they too felt at times that they were losing a grip at times.

So as the night hours begin to pass…africam 1-24-2012 011 I want to send a cyber hug out to all who suffer from mental illness…and to all who know someone with mental illness. Support them, never ever give up on them, and know that when an acute episode happens..that is when they need you most.

I learned a long time ago… that when an acute episode happens..that is when you find out who your friends are… and also who are not your friends .

I love you Mark… through your highs and your lows… you are a good man… a man passionate about your beliefs…. –It is a ride sometime s!!.

Love to all, Mrs justa alias Cindy…..

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