November 2012


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The holidays are upon us and last year we changed the placement of our plastic lit figurines from outside to inside.

With the new fangled outdoor inflatable 8-10 foot decorations—these guys became kind of pathetic looking outside. So last year they found a new home under our raised counter.

This year they are back there again. The boys were here last Thurs and Fri and as soon as they saw the plastic figurines—they immediately knew it was the place for a photo.

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Kinda neat to see the difference a year can make !

I figure next year Brandon will have to duck under that counter!.

It brings back the memories of Christmas long ago. When these figurines were cool… all that and more !. Jeff was young—9 yrs old- when we bought them . We had tent stakes, bungee cords and spent a lot of time picking them up from the wind !.

I think they are as special to these 2 inside, as they were to us outside—so very long ago.

Rileys bent crate and having the boys over 11-17-12 009This year has been a kind of emotional roller coaster yr… Riley is having a little trouble with anxiety.separation anxiety…. we tried medication for her, but her smile left and she looked doped up…slpet all day and all night… when I tried to walk her she would just lay in the grass…..  we called the vet, she suggested a trainer in Pulaski… I called him and he said to stop the meds ( under the guidance of the vet as far as weaning them off) …so the next step was now to  try a trainer… As I write this..the house is humming with the sound of the furnace..a TV is quietly buzzing in the background and Riley is about 40 miles away in doggie boot camp!. We brought her up there Saturday. She stays there for 2 weeks. She will learn the basics for obedience and the trainer is going to work with her on crate training—so she likes the crate. She has not so far liked the crate. That is actually putting it mildly. So I am hoping that the certified canine trainer can work with her. HE believes her anxiety can be worked on….

on Thursday I really  wanted to decorate for Christmas..I love this holiday….being Riley has not been around for a Christmas..we really did not know what to expect—so  we opted to put up the smaller table tree. It was weird..the furniture had to be moved to make the windows available for the tree. Riley was really out of sorts that I was rearranging everything. The dog trainer thinks it is because she believes she is the alpha dog and she owns us….

She really is a good dog..but I bet we will find out how much better she can be after she is in boot camp for 2 weeks.

I hope you are all safe…. enjoy the season… appreciate each day… Love to all. Mrs. Justa alais Cindy

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Rileys bent crate and having the boys over 11-17-12 014Have you ever just wanted to run…run and run and run?

Nowhere in particular to go, just not wanting to be where you are at.

Last week felt like that I think for everyone around me. Mark would have loved to run from himself, me, I would have loved to run from the stress of the week…and

Now that I think of it.. even Riley tried to break clean of her fears and panic…..

Rileys bent crate and having the boys over 11-17-12 001

This is Riley’s crate. She is terrified of being left in the crate, and yet she has not proven she is much nicer to the house outside of the crate. So if we had to leave for a while, we crated her….

If you look at the bottom of the crate, she bends it in by biting it, sticking her nose in it and trying to scooch out of it with the door closed and locked. This time she bent it enough in that she literally was scratching at that rug, she got the rug inside the crate and started gnawing on it, trying anything to escape from the crate. So.. the crate is folded up… Riley is on some antidepressants/ Obsessive compulsive meds to see if we can get her to overcome this panic disorder she gets when being left alone.

It really is sad to think that for some reason she is terrified of the crate. If I could find her original owners,RIley 7-19-2012 003 the ones that had to have been mean to her… well I would Have a few things to say to them. Might even smack them aside of their head!

How can people be cruel to another living being?

She is the sweetest dog, she loves to be with people, it is funny ..at night if she gets cold, she burrows under the blanket and sheet and sleeps way down at our feet. She will stay there for hrs.

She is great with the kids, she loves her stuffed animals, LOVES her food, yet deep inside her psychie— someone played with her head…. if she thinks you are angry with her..she cowers…… If you raise your voice out of emotion for anything – she thinks it is for her….

She belly crawls if she thinks she is in trouble. SO our dilemma in life is we have a dog..who hates when we leave. I have a call into the NY State dog whisperer..and we are going to see if he thinks this is something he could assist with. We also are going to try to get her into a doggie day care a couple times a week..and if there is a need for a few hrs of being watched as we try to come to a solution—than we will see if her kennel down the Oswego NY  6-11-12 003street would let her stay for a day.

So as our persistence to get to an end of her fear..

we need to STOP..and work with her.. Patience, positive reinforcement , determination, and slow down…go slow and make sure she feels comfortable along the way.

Please if you have a chance, and feel a tug in your heart… say a prayer for our little girl dog..and hope we can help her become at ease…. all the time.

Love to all….Mrs Justa alias Cindy

OK… I am trying to focus on writing and the wind is blowing so hard..I thought our furnace was malfunctioning and blowing super forced air through the vent. Our house is normally pretty quiet… do not hear wind… but tonight… holy shmolly… it is blowing big time. Just started—all of the sudden..The dog is pacing… and the wind smacking against the house.

So as I proceed..let’s hope the power and internet stay on. I was thinking about mental illness, and how many people suffer from it. Heck I look at this poor dog and see she even has a tad bit of mental illness . I had tried to tape a video of us trying to coax her in her crate..when she heard us say on the video to get in her house, she started trembling in here… oh I hope we can find things to work amd Oct 2011 055calm her down. This wind reminds me of what it is like to see a person ( or the dog !!) go through acute episodes of depression, anxiety or mania. It comes over them like a gust of wind, like huge waves… beating on their souls and emotions –like the wind is beating against the house.

Anxiety is a tough disorder, so is depression and mania. They all are real, and when they hit, the person going through it usually recognizes the problem and becomes more symptomatic realizing they can not stop it. It is like watching a person be a prisoner in their own body. I have taken care of patients and have been personally exposed to individuals who suffer from all of some of these illnesses. And there is nothing I can do to help when a full blown attack happens.

Oh I can try to stay calm, I can look for the sun ray through the dark cloud… but I feel inadequate, because I can not help to make to acute episodes subside. I can recognize when they are about to happen. But depending on the level of intensity they have..they can be like a tornado—taking down anything in their path.

For Riley… in the crate..when anxiety hits… NOTHING I can say or do will stop her from panting, trembling and bending the cage.

It is so opposite of her when she is not having an anxiety episode.

When I watch Mark deal with his high levels of anxiety, depression , mania—man again it hurts to watch, because there can be a path of destruction… he said the other day that it wears him out.. wears him down.

People I have met in life who have had similar disorders..they too felt at times that they were losing a grip at times.

So as the night hours begin to pass…africam 1-24-2012 011 I want to send a cyber hug out to all who suffer from mental illness…and to all who know someone with mental illness. Support them, never ever give up on them, and know that when an acute episode happens..that is when they need you most.

I learned a long time ago… that when an acute episode happens..that is when you find out who your friends are… and also who are not your friends .

I love you Mark… through your highs and your lows… you are a good man… a man passionate about your beliefs…. –It is a ride sometime s!!.

Love to all, Mrs justa alias Cindy…..

I wonder what the world will be100_2850 like when our grandkids are in their 60s? It is a kinda weird thought. By then I know I will be dust in the wind… what will our grandkids have to deal with?

Will there still be this great nation? Will people actually talk to one another? Or will conversation be 2 dimensional, type it, speak it into a device and away it goes?

We have some friends, they have adult children, and those kids still call my husband Mr. Krusen. It does not matter how old they have become, Mark is still older and they show respect.

I have a person in my life, she has always been to me “mom #2”, not because I disowned my mom, but more because she came into my life in my pre-teen years, after my dad had died, and my mom- God Bless her heart..was trying to get an education and support a family of 6 young kids…. as I said a few posts ago..that made my sister Pam and I they care givers for a lot of the days and evenings. Being 10 and 11 when he passed.. we needed a mom… and when this woman moved into our neighborhood… she was someone I could go and talk to…ask questions that I needed answers to… and to this day… I call her Mrs. Fields. I would never argue with her, not even today. She is my elder. We were taught to respect our elders. But I worry with e mails, texting, social networks, …somehow the elders..the respect for them..well that seems like it has disappeared. It is like everyone s trying to get the last word, age does not matter…. slam each other back and forth. Shut the device off..go to another site..and never think about age, respect or end result.

So in 50 + yrs..where will this all lead to? It is so darn impersonal right now..and we are just beginning.

I joked that to have coffee with a friend—save on gas… skype them. But how much of a joke is that? Ya can not touch another’s hand, or see their eyes, or give them a hug thru skype or other communication ways.

There is nothing more dear to me than having a grandchild run to me and say “I love you gramma”…and than try to wrap their tiny arms around me…

I am glad we are still able to100_2224 see our grandkids in person, to talk face to face with our friends, and I just hope as these youth of today grow up..they remember that a card in the mail is better than a wish on face book… picking up a phone and talking is better than texting…and spending time with someone face to face…instead of face into a screen of a smart phone, I pad or computer is what life is about !!.

May you each find comfort in 3 dimensional relationships….interactions…

Love to all.. Mrs Justa…. alias Cindy

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I have had to let a couple of days fill in the thoughts and try to make sense of the end result of the election.

I am not going to spend the next 4 yrs dwelling on it, but I was so passionate of what I truly believe the country needed and I am in total shock so many people did not vote. Is it pure empathy? Is it pure obliviousness? Is it that 4 million people felt it was going to be a land slide , so everyone else would vote on their behalf.

For those who stayed out of the polling places….if you are conservative..or leaning more towards the right than left—I say thanks a lot… for your lack of voting—you really gave a vote to the President.

How are people so blind? What caused women to vote for him? I just do not understand. SO my once thinking that vision for the future was clearing up, that we finally made it through 4 yrs of a president tri[ to ohio 3-12-2012 013who has lied to the American People, who hid things to satisfy his popularity, who has the majority of the media supporting him…who does not show true love of this country ….somehow  people got sucked in….. So I am afraid for our kids… our nieces, nephews and more our grandchildren. What will the USA be like for them?Fortunately for me… my number of years to vote is far less going forward than the times I voted in the past.

SO going forward….Poor Riley has a pretty severe case of separation anxiety. Mark teases me because I embellish her past, when we do not know what she experienced before the shelter for sure. We just took her to the vet, they did blood work, everyone camping KOA Canandaigua 7-23 - 25 009who meets her loves her..But when she knows we are leaving, we have to put her in her crate. We have this humungous one—as she totally freaked from the smaller enclosed one..and when we get home..her bed is wet from drooling—as she pants a good part of the time we are gone. She literally bends the bars on the crate trying to escape.

We consulted a trainer who is going to work with us in conjunction with the vet… it would be nice to get her to a point where we could leave her in the house…without the crate. But right now… NOT SO MUCH>.She goes nuts, jumping up, pulling things off the dresser/ counters… the vet says she is freaking  out because she does not think we will return. She was abandoned, found as a stray and brought into the SPCA….knowing her..that must have been so scary for her. SHE LOVES to please you, and be right by your side. If I walk her by traffic she gets nervous… if she thinks we are leaving she trembles…So pray for the vet and trainer to be able to get her more secure on the leaving part…. I hope you are all okay… will be back again soon… Love to all.. Mrs Justa..alias Cindy

I for one will be glad when the election is done.100_0410 I am so sick of the accusations, the blindness, the short term memory people, people who can not remember the promises made 4 yrs ago, and where we are today.

I am floored that the pollsters are saying it is a tie…. I am floored so many in my family are blind to the reality. It is like everyone is drinking koolaid. I am just in shock.

I truly believe if we continue another 4 yrs on this path..we are in deep trouble. Our children and our grandchildren need a future other than one of socialism and debt.

I do not know if Gov. Romney is the be all end all..but I believe he deserves a chance to help us. I believe he TRULY is compassionate for this country and the people in it. I believe he means well….

As  I think of these past 4 yrs, of our President apologizing more than once to the mid eastern countries for America, I am embarrassed….. I look at the recent terroristbenghazi_151807080_620x350 attack in Bengazi and our president, Secretary of State and UN rep all going on about a YouTube video was why it happened.. and apologizing for it!!! And I am amazed how left sided the media is. I am amazed that there is not more across the media of the attack in Bengazi… heck if a republican had been in ofc and that happened ( which it would not have..had a republican been in office) that president would have been smeared and probably charged with treason…impeachment…

I am totally disappointed in the whole thing. People called for help… our leaders in the  country ignored the pleas… well not all the country ignored the pleas… one brave man went and sacrificed his life for his country.

I am disappointed that people are not demanding to see what the implications of Health Care Reform has already been and will be….

I am flabbergasted that no one is bringing up all the wasted government spending..the printing of $$….having the president and his family take separate jets to the same destination for vacation hours apart… how the president chose to go to the NJ shore for Hurricane Sandy because of the political implications from h m doing it…. –but was not as eager to appear in the other natural disaster areas… How it seems that people’s suffering will be addressed IF there is political gain from it.

Or how there is booing of God… taking God out of the pledge…

IT IS NOT OKAY>>>>>

We …as a country ..gave this man a chance… and he has proven he knows how to campaign—as he has been going going going since his last election— campaigning… but not being presidential. Oh he is a smooth talker..( as long as he has a tele-prompter) ….  but he has not led the country. People are suffering and he is on Jay Leno… the View….insulting peoples intelligence with tactics….

I am so disappointed in the people who are turning the other cheek multiple times, those ignoring the fact that the president has been a divider more than a person bringing the country together. HIs comment the other day ( yesterday maybe) about “don’t boo…. Vote…voting is the best revenge” Are ya kidding me??? REVENGE>>>> No damn it… the reason to vote is for the best chance as a country we have to move forward..not because you wanna act revengefully. AHHH>>>>> HE had his chance..he failed….

9-2012 017I hope that people stop… look… listen…and not get sucked up to the few hours the president actually paid attention to the country and joined hands with the governor of NJ>>>>   please vote for the future… PLEASE>>>> thanks Mrs Justa alias Cindy