September 2012


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When the chips are down..are you are victim or a fighter?

I am sure you all have been exposed to people so focused on the bad that they forget to shine through it and show off the good.

I am reminded of this almost daily and the remnants of the garden made me think of it again.

Amidst the dying plants, the dirt tossed around from the corn stalks that have all been  pulled, 1/2 the tomatoe plants pulled, the lettuce is a thought in the past, and radishes long gone. Some pretty tall sunflower plants have come and gone, and amidst the signs of fall stands a couple of late sunflowers. They came at the end of the season. Not sure why… but all of the sudden there they are. They did not give up and say it is too late in the season—and chose to just sulk in the soil..nope…. they searched for any rays of sunlight they could find, they drank any droplets of rain, they pushed thru the dirt and the rocks, and when their relatives were already through their cycle..up comes these 2 guys/gals. 9-2012 021

Life fills us with challenges, with dares, with kicks in the knees..and it is hard to sometimes not let it knock you down.

But the remains of the garden are a sign of trying their best to get through the cooler nights, the less sun and just fight to the end.

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There are bits of this all over the garden. In the back right corner are 3 egg  plants— there are about 12 blossoms..who knows if they will succeed in beating the season..but they are trying.

In the upper left –those are peppers.. we just had some peppers in the home made spaghetti sauce that were from the garden yesterday!. And in the center towards the right—that is a pumpkin plant…. hopefully able to produce some pumpkins for next months holiday… I BELIEVE it will…

IT IS SO EASY TO TELL OURSELVES WE CAN’T… BUT MUCH MORE FILFILLING TO SAY WE CAN.

So this lesson this year is coming from the remainder of a garden that is mostly over… but it IS NOT over until the snow blankets it and another season totally comes to an end.

Believe in yourself… look for the good in life and keep the negative quelled. Be thankful for what you have and appreciate the gifts life can give.

Believe like this sunflower seed believed… Peace to all, Mrs Justa..alias Cindy

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100_4383 - CopyI read something today..it kind of has locked itself in the front of my mind. It is about retirement and it said that retirement is when we stop living for work..and we work on living. I read that and thought wow.. We do live for work!!! for most of our lives. Alarm clocks, clothes to wear, appropriate answers to give, dodging traffic, commuting, paying tolls and in many peoples cases paying extra auto insurance because of distances driven. We look forward to Friday nights because Saturdays are not work days, and than hustle on Sunday evenings to get ready to go back to work.

When I worked on the hospital floor my “Saturdays and Sundays” were any day of the week. But it was the same. A breath of ahhh ..to know a day was off..and than a time of hustle bustling around because work is about to start again.

I am having trouble imagining what life would be like without work. For me, I totally love what I do at work, yet I do wish there were more hours in each day so I could do stuff with the grandkids, take the dog to the dog park, camp more. So maybe that means I am beginning to evolve into the retirement mind set… so maybe by the time I am ready to retire, I will be thinking in that direction.

Retirement to me seems scary. Having bills, and health needs, and insurances, and fuel… having taxes, and unknowns… yes that seems scary without any working  income coming in. Social Security for over 65 yr olds is not great, and in our days of youth..there was not savings accounts created for the retirement years. SO ti will be winging it.

I laughed tonight as I was eating a bowl of cereal for dinner and thinking this might end up being dinner when I am retired!.

A good friend of mine is retiring this Friday. She told me she was scared. I guess as I try to personalize it for me… I would be scared too.I have years to go, but she has days. Some day my years will be changed to days. What will life be like than> What will the future hold? Unknowns….and I know I am not independently wealthy, so I know it will be tight. It just is not what I thought getting older would be like.

First I thought I would feel old.. I DO NOT>>>

I thought I would feel wise…. I DO NOT>>>>

I thought I would be like my mom was to me when she was my age… but I do not feel that way. I still feel like I wish my mom and dad were here..hmmm. I wonder now…. if they felt this way..but I never knew it.

I hope this finds you well, I am off to get ready for bed and play a few words with friends on facebook. Smile Love to all, Mrs Justa alias Cindy

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My life… I sat on the floor in the corner of this room, looking for something specific. And to my surprise I found much more than I intended to. The bottom two shelves are the photos and music of my life….

I was looking for a picture of a lady I work with. She is retiring in a couple of weeks and this photo was from when I met her, back in 1989. She oriented me to hospital nursing. She and I have had our paths cross for years on end, and then for a bit we may work in different places..but we never lost contact.. And times along the way we end up back in the same place again. She is a special lady. As I looked for this one photo I ran across my life. Things that have been pigeon holed in places in my mind.

It is funny how a photograph can bring you back to that year. It can make you remember a smell, or a breeze, or a sense of wonder . It brings back a feeling of being special, or discovering a place you had never been to before. It also can bring back a feeling of loss, or pain. It reminds you of relationships, of stages of youth, of people who have left this temporary home on earth to go to their destination. It kind of reminds us we are alive.

To relive these moments, to watch my little guy and Marks little girl grow up in photos. To  see their kids growing up… 100_3398

To realize that even thought it seems the years have flown by..those photo albums on the lower 2 shelves represent miles of life’s highway. The whale watches, the camping trips, the mini vacations Jeff and I took, the whale watches that Jeff ,Mark and I went on, the seemingly endless precious weekends that Jeff and Adrianne got to share with us, the evolving of my family from me being a baby to having all my brothers and sisters, smiles, reunions, marriages, births and deaths. All in-between sunsets and sunrises..each one different.

A100E0347nd as I soaked in the memories as they came to life.. I thought about how lucky we are to live in this country. The unrest in other parts of the world.. I wonder if these people have good memories. Have they stopped to see the beauty of the world? My heart says they have missed a lot of the soft sides of life… for they carry around such anger and hatred.

Yes … my journey through time that has been, it has  reminded me that I have been truly blessed. I thank God for that, over and over again.

I hope you have memories of your life captured somewhere. Stop and take a moment to remember. Good night all. Mrs Justa alais Cindy

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Our youngest grandson has hit the big 1. Yep a year old. He has a smile that is contagious. He has red hair that is almost orange, and his curiosity is very prominent.

I am not sure if this will be the youngest grand child or not..but for now he holds that title.

Adrianne and Josh put on a party for his and despite the severe thunder storms, a house full of people, a power failure… they pulledhOME AND cALEBS bDAY PARTY 8 AND 9 2012 039 it off. It got a little crowded in the house and so we did retreat to the garage that they had set up some tables and chairs for people to sit in. It was cooler and the kids had room to romp around in the garage some.

hOME AND cALEBS bDAY PARTY 8 AND 9 2012 019It is tough when the intention is to plan a huge party and entertain outside.. Outside the crowd seems less than when everyone ends up in the house. But Adrianne and Josh smiled through it all, and the party went on.  If it had been me… I do not think I would have been as calm and cool and collected that those two are.

We had  nice time, it is always neat to see the kids and the kid’s kids. I wish we all lived closer..but in the whole scheme of things an hour or so apart is not that far.

We went up to Oswego the next night hOME AND cALEBS bDAY PARTY 8 AND 9 2012 048for a sunset. And it is so weird to think that I know not how many sunsets are left to see. Mark had made that comment to me. It is kinda like when I write about the miles in my rear view mirror of life are a lot farther back than the miles I have yet to travel. I think I could take photos of sunsets every night and I would still be in awe at them. They are dramatic to me, they are a statement of the insignificance we each are when we look at the world as a whole. Than to think we see all of this as we exist on the outside of a sphere… kind of fascinating….

hOME AND cALEBS bDAY PARTY 8 AND 9 2012 042Life is so full of outstanding sites to see. And to me the sun rising and setting is right up there. A beginning to a day or  tucking a day in to the bed of the memory books. No matter when they happen, they are breathtaking. I love the colors, the brilliance, the ever changing formations. And I wonder if in way, if I too bring some color to peoples lives at times. Do any of us?

In this crazy world of rushing and ups and downs… we need to stop and make a difference in others lives. That is what living is for. Love to all. Mrs Justa alais Cindy

100_0244This past weekend we were driving into Phoenix NY. It was Sunday and it was rather hot and humid out. As we drove towards the village there is a stretch of road with really nothing there. Overgrown edges to the road, street signs stating the speed limit is still 30 and warning folks not to park on the side of the road. And this morning something else….

an elderly woman, standing with a straight posture, holding onto the handle of a fairly good size Aqua suitcase on wheels and her purse laying on top of the suitcase. She stood at tis sign..just stood there. As Mark and I drove by her..well there was absolutely no sense why she was there. She did not look like she had been thrown out of a car, or was moving..just standing at this sing on the side of the road in a section of nothing.

So as soon as we could turn around, we did and pulled to the side of the road. I walked up to her and asked if she was okay? She smiled a rather pretty smile..and said “Oh yes dear, I am waiting for the bus to go the State Fair”  I told her the state fair bus stop is down towards the village..over the bigger bridge that goes over the river..just before the draw bridge for the Erie Canal. 100_0246She went on to tell us that she was living in her grandfathers house in Phoenix, helping to clean it out. And than she told us her grandfather was fighting in Iran. She said her father was in Afghanistan. She said she has been caring for 24 different refuges who come over to the states and spend time with her. She said she wanted the state fair bus because no other buses would be running, only the state fair one.

Mark asked her why she had her suitcase if she was going to the fair. She avoided the question 4 times and than said she was a teacher ad the suitcase was all her lecture material She used it with the refuges when they came. Her speech seemed to ramble at times, her eyes looked glassed over and empty at times. She did not want a ride and was heading to the bridge to go to the area where the bus came.

On our way passed her starting her walk, we stopped and let a Park Police know that we were concerned about her. She just did not seem totally coherent. And now… 3 days later.. I am wondering about her. Did she get on the bus? Did the police officer speak to her, maybe call for someone to come and assess her? Is she safe?

This world seems small at times.. I get so focused on what we have going on in our lives..and sometimes witnessing something like this..it makes it so apparent how the 100_0022world is massive. A person can get lost in the system, lost in the background. I believe this woman was suffering from a dementia disorder of some sort. It was almost like she was in a time in her mind 30 yrs prior. My goodness her grandfather in Iran would be in his 100s at least. People like this woman could fall , go into the river, hop on a bus and not know where she was going, …how many people in the world are going through things just like this?

She made my mind stop for a moment from worrying about what we had to do… she made me appreciate life. God bless this woman… and the man I wrote of a few posts ago..and so very many other who need strength and protection. Love to all Mrs Justa..

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I am not a politician, never wanted to be one, never really felt the need to do anything but maybe support one I felt strongly about.

As we enter the next 2 months of “How nasty can one get over the other” I am looking to buy earplugs and blinders when the political personal attacks start. If one starts playing dirty and the other stays above the line of trash talk..than does the other get credited for being admirable or criticized that all the trash talk must be true –because they are not coming back and defending the insults.

To me, in my one person mind… we need government that will not support continuous hand outs. I do believe unemployment benefits should be available as people get back on their feet, heck they have paid into that insurance in case they ever need it. I personally had to benefit from unemployment once in my life. But we need not have more ways of extending the unemployment checks for  the 23 million people unemployed and growing… we need to be supporting these 23 million ( and more) people by being a country where employment is available.

I find that the government seems to be focusing on more ways to print money , increase debt, to help those who are not working. And some of the reason there are 23 + million unemployed people – in my humble opinion is because we have given those jobs to people in other countries. I have heard thru various articles and reports that our government ( a couple years back) was going to have more people building roads, fast trains, bridges—and THAT will help us put people back to work. Well that would help all the 24 + yrs olds with college degrees living in the same 10×10 room they grew up in. But what about the 40, 50 and 60 year olds that thought they had a job through retirement..only to find themselves on the curb with an “Out of business” sign on the door of the place they thought was their home away from home.

I look at how far in debt we are,Oswego NY  6-11-12 014 I see media of all sorts stating  we just need to do another 4 yrs with this administration, I look at people who have  almost 30 something kids that are still living in their homes, and I am thinking THIS IS NOT THE AMERCIAN DREAM!! Each person in their 20s with the feeling of there is  no job to take, no where to go… living at home… having meals, insurance, clothing provided for them.. what happens at age 27 ?? 
They are still at home, still have food and life’s essentials provided..and we the government have supplied more a pathway to show them how to accept others providing for your life..than you providing it for yourself. By 27—most investors would be recommending that these people should be well on their way to prepare for their retirement. And yet instead of contributing to the social security funds, instead of having their own 401 K accounts, instead of having their own place… they are the same place they were when they were 13 yrs old.

I wonder what happened to journey of growing up and when you are in your early teens to be looking forward to 15 … cuz you can go and get a job… or 18 because you could vote..and have a job (or 2 or 3) and GET YOUR OWN PLACE!! I dreamt of that., my mind was filled with how neat it would be to move out on my own. Oh and that first night away from the bedroom of my life… cooking on a stove that is new to me, deciding if breakfast was going to be a hamburger… and having desert before dinner…to not have anyone tell me it was time to go to bed…to chose my pathways and know that at the fork in the road it was the consequences of my choice that got me there. TO have my own mailing address, bank account, bills, mail box…. NOT once did I long for living under my moms roof for years on end. A parents home should be one that is there in a bind..but not for a life time. TO move back into a parent’s home— it is to get back on your feet… and within a few weeks… a move to your new destiny.

The 20 something  people are our future. So we have one politician going to college campuses—filled with many people who will be moving back home…. telling the kids to vote for me that party again—because if you do not—well you may lose your health insurance…or you may lose this or that. Yet not letting them know that the job they dream of is now being filled by someone in another country.

How about instead of instilling fear of what you Won’t have..maybe instilling hope for jobs and self sufficiency….and assurance that they too can live the American Dream .

I find it maybe back in  finance 101 that to save money you need to make money. Look at all the countries we are helping financially..and what money are they putting back into our pockets? Than  look at those same countries and see if they have people marching around shouting they hate the USA.
Yes I am frustrated with the way it is now..and I am hoping that we end up with strength in the White House to help take the trillions upon trillions in debt and turn it around..to help businesses stay in America, and put people back to work. I am looking, desiring and praying for a change.

Peace to all, I hope today “LABOR DAY” means something more to you than a day off.

Love Mrs Justa alias Cindy