JustaKrusen/ Mrsjustakrusen

Creatures of habit, many of us are. I think we sometimes do not realize it until something makes the habit break. I watch myself and others and I see little routines we do. Maybe the way we set up our desk each morning, some folks ( including myself) come in every morning and there is a process of where they put their things they have brought to work, a coat, a lunch bag, and they turn their computer on at the same sequence.

(thanks google for this image of creatures of habit !)

Every day 5 minutes before lunch I can set my watch on some folks who walk by me to hit the bathroom before lunch.  How they get ready to leave for the day, certain quirks.

I find I have weird idiosyncrasies , many. One is whenever I am home and go on the computer, before I get up I have to play a game of spider solitaire. If I win then the next day is going to be good, if I lose…well the next day is going to be bad.

Or how I get dressed in the morning, the order I take my meds in, at lunch at work I throw the lunch in the micro wave oven and scoot over to watch the cars go by the building down the main street. Creatures of habit, we have little skits of habit and we follow the same steps .

Even the pets have habits. When I am leaving for work Mark goes to the window to watch me go, the cat is on the window sill and Indi next to Mark. All watching me leave.We wave the sign language hand signal  for “I Love You”  and off I go. The animals turn away and do their thing.

Then when I get home, Indi watches what I am doing, he listens and watches as we eat dinner, as soon as I am done, Indi lets me know he wants to be held for a brief time. Every meal.

The cat, he can have food left from the day before but every morning at 5:30 or 6 he meows and has figured out what things might wake us up- his habit in the morning is stretching to try to open the blinds, the knocking the phone off the table, trying to chew on plastic to make noise. once he is fed, he is quiet for the rest of the day.

I do try to change how I go to work for a variety, so not to get stuck in a habit. When I get in I try to consciously change the stairs I go up, or the aisles I go down. But it is tough. It feels awkward. Look at your own life, what habits are you stuck in? Try changing a routine and see how it feels. Like maybe going through the grocery store from the last aisle to the first, or change the order you get dressed, maybe the way you do something at work. If you are anything like me, ya feel like you have 2 left feet. But do it anyway ! Enjoy, Love Mrs Justa…. alias Cindy

I had an interesting experience this morning. One that enlightened me as it also made me aware of what I may do sometimes.

I had an eye appointment, one I was not looking forward to, as the eye doctor was doing a type of glaucoma challenge. He had me stop using my eye drops for glaucoma a couple of nights ago so he could check the pressure in my eyes and also check the angles of the two types of glaucoma I have. He also wanted to see the effect of no eye drops to the previous surgeries I have had on each eye to try to relieve the pressure caused by narrow angle glaucoma and plateau iris ( the other type of glaucoma I have in both eyes)

I gotta tell you, having a professional want to play with glaucoma is kind of scary, but I understood his reasoning and I also understood why we were doing this at the Syracuse office and not at the satellite office closer to where we live. The main office has the lasers right there if there is an emergency situation, and with glaucoma it can be the difference between sight and no sight.

So needless to say I personally was concerned about this visit- as I looked around the main waiting room I noticed people of my age and older, from what appeared to be many walks of life, and with vision issues of major concern. After I left the main waiting room I was called back to a smaller waiting room, I think for 3 docs. As I sat back there there were times I was alone and sometimes another person was in this maybe 20 chair waiting room. I watched as staff walked in and out of the rooms and offices in the back of the waiting room and right by me. I intentionally looked at each of them , directly in the eyes and smiled a small smile. In the hour I did this, only 2 of  as least 35 chances did someone look at me, at my eyes and notice and acknowledge me. The 2 who saw me, who smiled back, who asked “How are you today?” it took seconds– those 2 people were male nurses.

The rest of the staff ( mostly female ) looked at me but through me. As if they could see right through my head. Like I was an empty chair. It was amazing! Working in any medical office one needs to remember that something brought these people to come in. Often it is for something gone wrong.

In an EYE SPECIALIST office, these people are dealing with problems, problems with sight, some may be dealing with possibilities of not seeing as well as we once did, maybe people are there who can no longer do what they love ( reading, sewing, looking at magazines, watching TV) maybe some have pain. I was amazed how most of the staff had no compassion in their eyes for the strangers in the waiting rooms, not until it was the patient’s turn to be called. Then the blank stare from the staff focused on the patient they needed. 

Healthcare professionals, public service professionals need to remember that they would not have their job if it were not for the people they serve, the people who come to them, the people who need their help. And every one of those people are PEOPLE- with feelings, with parents, with lives, with problems of their own. When you are at work, your focus needs to be on those you are there because of. A smile back, a recognition, it costs you nothing but gains you much.

I can tell you, I can pick out the 2 faces clearly in a crowd of the 2 who acknowledged me, spoke to me, smiled at me, and interaction that took only seconds- but the rest of the folks who looked through me- they left an impression – not an image.  Tonight I close with a thought- do you want to be remembered? And how do you want to be remembered – as a person—or as a negative impression? Love Cindy

As the day turns into night and I have visions of the pillow nestling my head and the mattress pad heating my muscles I am brought to a calm state.

I made it through a Monday and I am off tomorrow, back to work Weds. I have a vision of a wall hanging on Amanda and Jeff’s wall in their entry-way and I am comforted by its statement.

Faith, family and friends. These are necessary components in life. We need faith to take the next step, to take the leap to a challenge that might seem very tough.

Family. For some of us our family may not be a strong point. To me it is. It is funny but even though we do not see each other as much as we should, we know we are each there. I do worry about the day one of us turns around to find another has gone , passed on. For we can not replace the times we have missed.

Friends. When I was much younger I felt that a person needed a wealth of friends. So many they would not ever have time for themselves. But as I have gotten older I have come to find that true friends are few not many. I have a handful of true friends, and I love each one of them . And I often worry that I may have missed that last conversation, that last interaction, and when a person is gone, they are gone.

I find that life is unpredictable and we know not how many roads and pathways we may go upon in our journey. But through them all, through all the twists and turns, the darkness and brightness, FAITH can always be there. Per the dictionary faith means

“1 a: allegiance to duty or a person : loyalty b (1): fidelity to one’s promises (2): sincerity of intentions2 a (1): belief and trust in and loyalty to God (2): belief in the traditional doctrines of a religion b (1): firm belief in something for which there is no proof (2): complete trust3: something that is believed especially with strong conviction ; especially : a system of religious beliefs <the Protestant faith>

synonyms see belief

— on faith

: without question <took everything he said on faith>”

Do you have at least one good friend that you can share your deepest thoughts with? Is there someone in your family whom you find comfort with?

What do you have Faith in? Three very important components to live life by, nurturing and treasuring our family and friends, and never losing our faith. Love to all, Cindy

Last year just about 12 months ago, this was just a piece of land for sale, one that Mark had a vision that he shared with me, he asked me to come out and check it out and see if I too felt this could be a potential place for us to move to.

I saw his vision , so we worked our butts off packing , dreaming, financing a new home and the land. It took us probably 3 1/2 months to get from the vision to the reality.

There was a sign on the property that had not really been weeded out or planted for a few years, so we had decided that we would take care of the sign if the land became ours. And last year we did weed this out and got much and some flowers, ( we actually did it before we owned the property)

This weekend we once again were looking at this land,it is just different because it is our land,  and realizing it was time to plant the flowers around the sign for the development and to get the mowers out.  We put lights up around the sign this year, kinda looks neat!

Yesterday was the flower and mulch day. And  today at about 6:40 we decided we would tackle the mowing. We had been blessed with dinner over here with Amanda, Jeff and Brandon, they arrived about 3:30, dinner at 4:30 and after they left we made the determination to mow.

Mark got out the John Deere and took off, I pulled out the self propelled push mower and realized there was not much oil in it, so I had to scoot to a near by store ( 6 miles away) and get oil, gas and scooted back to push mow about 15 feet out around the house , around the shed, and do the ditches. Needless to say, I am really looking forward to my heated mattress pad today! It felt good to do it, to get it done, and it made me think about procrastination.

That made me sway to what do I procrastinate about? I have joined weight watchers, that was a major procrastination,  I hate procrastination. It is like Satan’s voice encouraging me to sway from a destiny. I am trying to stay focused, make lists for things to do and make sure I complete the list, and Satan… you can go somewhere else, cuz I am going to beat your butt!. Love to all, Cindy

Life is so precious, life teaches us lessons that we do not even realize it taught us, life is full of warm embraces and surprising things that bring us smiles, brings us warm fuzzy feelings. God fills us with the ability to love and be loved, to share and make others smile.

Indi is full of love, and Brandon is beginning to see that too.

Special times, treasure each one, like a heated mattress pad ( ah I gotta tell ya, anyone who has never had this experience and have any sort of aches and pains, this is the cats meow! ) Mark always teases me by saying  no turning on your side of the mattress pad tonight, but I run in and turn that baby on. In the winter it is GREAT because the sheets are warm when you climb into bed, now it is just like laying on a warm sidewalk, or soaking in a warm bath. Soothing to the bones and muscles, comforting, relaxing ahhh I am making myself sleepy! But  I turn it off around 3AM when my hormones start taking over and I start with my every night hot flashes, but until then let me tell ya, it is a special as a dog giving you a smooch, or whimpering for you to give them a hug.

At night after each dinner Indi has a wish, it is a small wish, and he whimpers to let me know I have not followed through. After he knows dinner is through he just wants a hug. So he jumps on my lap, I pet him for a minute or 2, he sets his head on my shoulder then off he goes.

Brandon does not crawl, he rolls to where he wants to get to, and he reaches for the pets as they get in eye site. He rolled over to the dog bed to see Indi, he rolled back to find the cat.

He too is full of love and smiles for everyone. Yes life is full of special moments, I personally never understood the joy grand parenting would bring, but it is so clear to me now. We both love this little guy to death, we see him weekly and his smile and hugs almost hold  us over for another week. May you have your own special moments and may you take the time to realize what they are. Hold onto them ,acknowledge them, and keep them in your heart and memories.  I think there are many special moments that go right by without notice because we are too busy, too stressed, too tired. Find them cherish them and they will fill you with peace. Love Mrs justa.

Can you imagine what  a feat it would be to start at one side and get over all these mountains to the other side. Over and down, over and over again.

That is how life is, we have mountains of problems, mountains of temptations, mountains of successes , challenges, joys, heartaches and of failures. Yet we keep climbing, hoping that maybe over the next one we will find what we are seeking, what we are striving for. And when it feels like we have made it, well there is another dang mountain.

I can go over many times in my life when the mountain seemed too high, it would be easy to say forget it, I think I will build camp right here and to heck with the mountain, but each time there is a push from my inner self, a tug at my shoulder and a nudge at my back , a hunger to see the top, and the other side. And up I go on the imaginary mountains of challenges. But it is a must to remember that you climb a mountain one step at a time. And when you get to the top, oh the air is thin but the victory is sweet. I find I can not get too used to the top, cuz that nudge, that tug seems to push me back down. But while I am there, I suck into my soul the sweet feeling of achievement, of endurance, of success.

The journey of exercising, of weight loss, day to day activities, of work, of laundry, or housework, of mowing the yard, of paying bills, of shopping for Christmas, or mending things, of calling a friend or sharing time with loved ones, all parts of mountains in life. And how I approach them is how steep that mountain is. If I approach them with negativity, the mountain is straight up, but if I approach them with a “you can do it" attitude, then the mountain has ledges, has a less of an angle. So to each of you I wish you success in taking those steps, success in getting to the top, because only at the top can you really see clearly the whole picture, no blockages or boundaries, the opportunities seem endless at the top of the mountain.

Walk carefully, never give up and see how many mountains of life you will travel over. Love Cindy

Today was day one of the “At Work Weight Watchers Program” It was enlightening, because as much as I think I understand stuff I am always hit in the face with surprises.

It was neat to be in a meeting with everyone I knew, I hated going to one alone and feeling uncomfortable in the environment.

So the enlightening things from today were 1) the difference in the trainer now and when she started weight watchers- she is 85 pounds lighter and still looking to lose more.

She was telling everyone that you really have to be careful with the labels, that the pizza places may cut a pizza in 8 slices, but the 12 in pizza should be in 12 slices. So watch the actual appropriate serving size and not the one a restaurant states is what you should have. Lets see, she also was pointing out things like pop tarts- a quick and easy breakfast- it comes in 2 pieces- if you have both – you have had 14 points out of your daily intake-where 1/2 a bagel is 6 points. ** 2 pot pies are 16 points****

Ideally the whole grain cereals and such, but there are so many options of any type of food, just watch the quantity. So I am signed up for 10 wks at work right now, I will see how it goes, They want us to work out or walk at least 4 times a wk for 30 minutes- and I am doing that, so I think it will be just re looking at everything. I am excited, and Mark is going to follow what I do, so it should be 2 for the price of one . I just love this cartoon, I found it on google images and I had to laugh. I think our scale wants to hide behind the door too. But not forever… we will do this. Keep rooting for us. I am only going to go down from here. So in theory I will never be what I weigh today again, and tomorrow I again will never be that weight again after the next couple of days. Kinda like today never comes again, this is our chance to make a difference. Love to all, Cindy

I took this photo because it reminded me of how life is. How we have to stand above the rest, not be afraid to stick out in the crowd. How we need to hold onto things that mean something to us. How no matter how different we look from all the others, we have our own God-given unique characteristics. We are blessed with talents and abilities. 

The tree is sticking out, it is standing tall even though it looks nothing like what it is surrounded by. And it looked like it popped up tall to hang onto that moon, reach far, not let it go.

In life how often do we find ourselves feeling like we are stretching to get a job done, to meet a deadline, to stay focused on a day when retreating from the world would be easier. To stay awake and balance that check book, pay that bill, do a chore, rake a yard, go to the gym, create something, become better at what you already do.

Yesterday was the official , in my mind, rock raking day. Mark really no longer can do the bull work type stuff, so I had psyched myself to tackle the piles of displaced sod and rocks from the driveway and heave them into the wheel barrel and scatter them under the pines that are on the back property line. So it was loading them in by shovel full to then spread them by shovel full on the emptying side of the project. Mark did come out and assist a bit, and being  I had not planned for him to, so it was greatly appreciated!. The last few shovel fulls were that reaching beyond- I bet I moved probably a couple hundred pounds of dirt and rocks. I wanted to make it a good workout, so I was doing deep knee bends, swaying, twisting, feet tapping, drinking my water, humming and probably looked pretty silly- but I did not care- I was sticking out from the way others would have done the job at hand,  but it felt good. When the wheel barrel tires went flat I chose to use the hand pump and not plug in the air compressor, so that was quite a bit of pushing up and down. I love doing yard work, so that was task one, then I was going to get the house work and laundry done before days end. I did succeed, but today as I tried to climb out of bed, my feet felt like they were cinder blocks – as I had tied my sneaks yesterday really tight for support and I think they were too tight, it took 4 Ibuprofen and some babying, but my feet are recuperating and I am almost raring to go and do some more.

I do not regret the stretching for that task, or accentuating the movements to make it more like and aerobic exercise, the yard looks good, and it is ready for the John  Deere to shape it up in the next week.

I have just finished working on about 30 claims issues for work, ( another stretching to get something done) and am going to go check the pork tenderloin meal in the crock pot, balance the check book and get ready for a new week. The stairway of life, climbed each day, we make it what we can, …funny…I look at this photo and think where is a bench or railing to help get up it, one step at a time. But this is life, one step at a time, sometimes we have no railings, not where to stop, we can not turn back, we need to stretch, to reach for the future, be that one person that stands out, is different, do what you believe.

I have been thinking that I have not yet been recharged with Brandon’s smile , so I may have to rely on a photo if we don’t swing over that way. I hope that everyone has a great start to this next week, and encourage folks to reach, to go for what is important to you, to not be persuaded by anyone to not stretch, to not go for what you believe in.

Love to all, Cindy

Have you ever had a near death experience? Have you ever seen the tunnel of lights?

I was thinking about this today on my way home and tonight I spent a while searching for a photo on google images that came somewhat close to what I experienced 27 +years ago.

This is the closest I could find, but to get the real effect it would need to be spinning, and feeling like it was pulling you, floating you , into a vortex.

It was after the birth of my son, I had gone into the hospital on a Monday morning to deliver him, they were going to induce me because my blood pressure had elevated pretty high and the doc felt I was getting toxic. So in I went at 8:00 that morning. The Pitocen was started and about 2 hrs later the doc came, manually dilated my cervix and broke the water. ( Can you say PAIN!!!) SO then I waited, waited for something to happen, minutes turned into hours and the doc increased the medication as the day turned into night then the next morning, and still increasing the Pitocen. I lay there, waiting. Finally by 2 PM the second day the doc was informed that the heart rate was dropping on the baby and determined my cervix was not dilating. So they stopped the triple strength of Pitocen and rushed me off for an emergency C section. I was EXHAUSTED! So once on the OR table with the anesthesia mask on my face I did a sigh and closed my eyes. Well the anesthesiologist must have signaled I was out, I felt a firm pressure on my abdomen, and in went the scalpel. I remember how smooth it felt like it sliced and the pain was like the tingle pain when I have accidentally cut a finger with a knife,, and I heard the doctor make a comment about the fat I had in my gut, then I tool a deep breath in from the  pain and I was out.

The next thing I knew there were people talking that sounded like they were close by, one women saying to the other. ..”You gonna tell her about her baby?”  “ the other, ‘No, I am not going to tell her” “Poor thing”  “ We better call her doctor, he can tell her”

I was in recovery but not awake, and all I could think was after all this, my baby must have died. I had done everything right, and it still was not good enough. I relived my doctors comments as he cut open my abdomen, I thought of this baby and was in despair that I must have lost him. I felt myself giving up, and that was when I saw the lights, the tunnel of lights,it was blinding, it was spinning ever so fast,  to the point of feeling like a I was floating. Their voices seemed farther away, but louder, more panicked, I was thinking about flashbacks in my life, bam they came fast, then I heard my Doctor calling my name right next to me, they were shaking me, I had a mask on my face, the doctor was telling the nurse a medication name, I felt a coolness in my vein at the IV, the lights began to fade , I felt discomfort in my abdomen and I felt my heavy eyelids trying to open. The doctor was sternly but with deep concern telling me to open my eyes, it was okay, open your eyes he kept saying. Once I did, I had to forcefully blink them open over and over till they actually stayed open,he told me about Jeff, and that he took one breath and stopped breathing, that they were able to rush him to the special area, to expand his lungs but he had to go to Strong in Rochester.

All at  once I felt determined to be strong for him. But for that moment, for that however long it was, I still wonder if that was not the “tunnel of lights” , if that was not a near death experience. I had given up, and the doc told me later I had “trouble coming out of the anesthesia”. But I think it was the fact that when a person is in a coma state, people need to know they can hear. It was the first sense I got back, but they could not know I heard them. And the nurses  comments, I took them wrong, and I believe to this day, that I almost gave up. It was my lack of will to go on that made me not able to come out of the anesthesia.

The lights were real, the feeling and lights have never been reproduced, I think only those who have actually been there can comprehend this. But through it all, I became a more aware person. When I’ve cared for comatose or stroke patients in the hospital I explained what I was doing, just as if they were alert and well. I would tell them the news of the day, the weather, talk about a movie or hum them a song. For the lesson I learned was to never treat an unresponsive person as if they are not there,  never talk in front of a person thinking can not  hear, for they know you are there. And do not stop visiting a person because you think they do not know you are there. I truly believe until they are gone, heart no longer beating, lungs no longer filling their bodies with oxygen, they are very aware. They can hear you , love your presence, feel you. Peace to all, Love Mrs Justa.

Life , we all have different experiences, different life situations. I am so mesmerized by watching Brandon and Mark. Having a grandpa, having 3 grandpas. How lucky the little guy is.

Mark smiles such a special smile when Brandon is present, that first interaction each time we get to spend some time with him is a picture perfect moment. And Brandon has a smile that will melt the snow on the coldest winter day, that will soften  even the toughest days. He totally trusts us, totally finds comfort in life.

I have read and studies often that it is the first 5 years of a child’s life that are so important. It creates a foundation for their entire future. As I look back at the first 5 years of my life I wonder how they made an impression on me now. It is things we can not see, or realize. I was born into a family that already had a 1 1/2 yr old and a  10 yr old sister and 2 older brothers that were in their 20s. We lives in a second floor apartment, maybe a 3 bedroom, I remember it was the top floor of a house in Bridgeport Conn. My grandmother lived with us, she was blind.I remember my grandmother maneuvering around the furniture and walls in the apartment. When I was around 1 1/2 my mom gave birth to a little girl, Betsy, she had no head formation to speak of, and so instead of my mom coming out of the hospital with a baby, she was empty handed, Betsy died. Then a year later she gave birth to a brother,  shortly after my grandmother had a stroke in our home, I watched her go through that, get taken away,  and a year and a half later another brother. 

So basically I only knew my mom with child those first 5 years, I had a dad that traveled, so I learned that we had to cherish the times we have together. That it is not the quantity of time but the quality of time spent. I learned twice about death , not able to understand it, but enough to know how it hurt to miss a person, and not be able to comprehend where they went, and to treasure each moment with people in your life. I learned about sisterly love and remember times of playing in the neighborhood when I was 2 and 3. I remember the little boy down in the lower apartment, Jimmy Totora ( I think was his name) He and I were the same age, so we played a lot together. I remember being able to walk on the side walk , sit on the porch, and ride my tricycle, with my sister and I outside playing , and my mom up in the apartment. Life was safe then. I remember one Spring, picking all 100 of my moms tulips, thinking I had found a special secret treasure, and upon presenting them to her, she cried, wept, (and not with joy) I was maybe 3 or 4 then. The smell of the lilac bush by the front porch.

So as an adult, I am a person that LOVES tulips. I LOVE lilacs, I was understanding when Mark traveled in the truck for a week at a time. I was independent enough to handle the household. I learned to treasure the times with Jeff, as after his dad and I split up I had to work, he had to go to day care- so time together was precious. I have learned to care for my eyes, and live in a place that should I ever lose my vision, I would be in a place that was open.

I truly hope that we will bring some fond memories to Brandon. He will remember how very much he was loved by his parents, his family. He will remember his Grandpa and Grandma Krusen, that there will be a special part of him that remembers  our love, our laughter, our hugs, and our guidance. To see him with Mark, to see his face light up when we come over, I am sure we are making memories. Good night little man, may the memories be etched in your mind, for comfort and smiles in years to come.

Love, Grandma… Mrs Justa,,,,Cindy

Okay call me crazy, call me pathetic, but tonight is a blog in honor of our washer and dryer friends. We have known them for 19 years, they were always within reach, able to assist at a moments notice. I took great care of them, made sure they were cleaned and not left with any soap scum or stains. I have an affection for these 2 guys. But after 19 years of service, doing an average of 6-7 loads a week, 1956 loads at least, power storms, brown outs, cold temperatures, well they just did not have the spunk anymore.

Oh sure they stood tall and proud, and were probably in disbelief when 2 strangers came and took them away, but they stood firm until they were sent away to who knows where.  I felt bad as I watched one of the men put them in the truck, he was rough with them, banging them about.

I hate to admit this, but what the heck, I miss them already.

They were my first very own washer and dryer. We had to fight for their ownership, but we won and got them.When we bought our previous home , we were told it came with a $500.00 washer and dryer package. Well when the house was ready to move into- it lacked the 2 Whirlpool friends we were suppose to get. So we contacted the salesman and insisted on him coming through with his promise. We did have it on paper, but he admitted he screwed up, and the following day these 2 friends were brought to live with us. I was proud when the man today who came to take them away made a comment about what great shape they were in.

I remember my moms washer, it was like she never wiped the inside of the lid or the top of the drum. It had spills of powdered detergent, fabric softener sticky spots,  detergent scum in the lip of the lid and around the hinges. I used to scrap it out with toothpicks. And her dryer top was always filled – it was  a catch all for coins, dust, pens and pencils and whatever else was set on it, including used dryer sheets and the empty boxes from previous dryer sheets. I promised these two guys that every week I would clean them and every wash and dry I would wipe down the moisture and empty the lint trap.

So tonight, As I have just finished the second load in the new washer and dryer, I am feeling like I betrayed these faithful buddies of mine. I am comforted by the fact that the men who took away these 2 guys said they would see if they could fix them and sell them, as they were in incredible condition. So good bye guys, good luck, and welcome to your replacements- ( I feel cheap ! Like I cheated in them !! ( Isn’t that ridiculous!!) But here they are- meet the Amana siblings. They just don’t look right in there yet. 
They will adjust to me, and us to them.

But for a while, well I am going to feel guilty for letting the other ones go. If we get 19 years out of the new ones I will be very happy. And realistically 19 years is a good amount of time for washers and dryers to last. I had to laugh, last Spring, before we moved, Jeff had come over, he had made a comment about he didn’t realize out “old fashioned” our appliances were until he had moved out, and then coming back to visit he looked at them differently. Have a good night all, I am going to go say a prayer for the old guys we got rid of. Love Cindy

Why have a HUGE home?

My goodness, being home alone must be really scary, there is no way I would feel comfortable in a huge home, with various levels. I would be freaking out wondering if someone snuck in, was hiding in a closet, was going to break in when I tried to rest. I can’t imagine my “Saturday morning” cleaning! It would be Saturday and Sunday, and by the time I got done I would have to start over again.

What about doing the laundry, I would have to plan a trip to get down to the laundry room, and carrying the baskets up and down those stairs- yikes.

Sure it is pretty, but I have no interest in having more then what we have right now. I think our home is 1620 square feet, on a Saturday morning I can clean it and have it in pretty god shape in about 3 hrs. That includes the laundry,washing the floors and the vacuuming. That is plenty for me. Being it is just Mark and I, it is mostly just the dust and particles from existing. We have this vacuum cleaner that does not have bags, it has a clear container, and for being just the 2 of us and a cat and  a dog- we fill that canister each week we vacuum. We don’t wear shoes in the house, it is amazing how much life is dirty.

Growing up I hated being alone in the night , I remember that I would have to jump onto my bed so the “monsters” under the bed would not grab my ankles. I would think door knobs were turning, or I heard foot steps. Yeah- I am not a person who would function well in a large home or palace. Just give me my one floor, open , double wide home, and I am a happy person. Our electric and heat are about 150 in the winter and less then 90 in the warmer months- we have enough furniture, we can entertain ( but hardly do)

this is just fine………….Love to all, CIndy

“One who understands much displays a greater simplicity of character than one who understands little.
Alexander Chase”

I thought I would focus on this tonight. There are a few people that I have run across in my life who ( as Bill O’Rielly has hooked me on this term) bloviate. ( Definition To discourse at length in a pompous or boastful manner)

I love this quote ! As I look upon my experience with people this quote is about, I have gotta say it really is true. The simpler character people I have known really had it together, but the ones that go on and on about nothing, well they really do not understand things. So instead they try to lose me with garble instead of let me know they understand.

Have you ever had a co worker , a boss, a person in a store or a salesman at a car lot bloviate? If you look back were they filled with nothing because they just did not understand, they did not know? I think we need to just  let another person know we do not understand, so we can become more knowledgeable , instead of talking about nothing at all.

One of the many  problems with bloviating is you lose the other person attention- words flow out but the other person begins to only hear “blah blah, blah” Another problem is you lose your credibility. Another is it can be looked at as a waste of time. And whatever it is you think you are trying to say- often you are covering up that you do not really know what you are talking about. Or you are so focused on yourself , that everything turns around to yourself. Another quote ( I do not know the author >> but thanks:) ) “A conceited person never gets anywhere because he thinks he is already there.”

Often the ones who babble on about nothing are so focused on themselves that they do not realize there is no other view then that which they see in their mirror. The world needs to be more humble, more compassionate, speak when there is something to say, listen to others, and ask questions when you truly do not understand. My mom spoke few words at times, she had it all together. Mom , to be more like you… I would love to improve on that characteristic. 

THANKS GGOGLE IMAGES FOR THESE PHOTOS 🙂

To all have a great Easter- to mom…. I love you, thanks for your wisdom, guide me to be better.  Love, Cindy

Who are YOU?? If someone asked you who are you(?) what would you say?

What makes you who you are?

What makes you tick?

If you were left to a wheel chair existence in a senior citizen home who would you be? Or if you lost every possession you owned and had to start over again sleeping on a cot in a shelter, trying to put it all together, who would you be? What would you say you are?

I think of that often, and I see personally when we make ourselves become mixed up with what we do to earn money. I remember at a police graduation the preacher and Sergeant both made reference to the new grads and not getting into the mistake of stating and believing you are a police officer, and not that you are a wife, a husband, a mother, a father , a son or a daughter. Instead you are a person who chose to do police work as a profession. I can see how dangerous that can be to us.

For if we identify our being as what we do, and if what we do, we can no longer do, then we have twisted who we are with what we do, and in losing our ability to continue to do the profession we had done for years, we in turn have lost a portion of ourselves.

As I look at this photo ( complements of google images) I wonder what her profession was. Was her day to day job a stay at home mom, or a teacher, a beautician, a cashier, a nurse, a doctor? The list goes on an on. And did she have the ability to separate what she did, from what made her who she was? 

I hope I can do that. I try to catch myself from saying “I am a nurse” For I am a compassionate person, who has a job as a nurse. Without my job, I need to still be me. Life has blessed me with fulfilling the roles of a wife, a mother, a sister, an aunt, a grandmother, but me—I am  compassionate, I am considerate, I love people, I am giving, I like to do word searches and crossword puzzles, I like Jig Saw puzzles, I like to take photos, to sing, I love to solve problems, to make harmony – we each need to find who we are, What makes us who we are. For once we really can separate what we do, fro

m who we are- we are better able to face what life events come our way. So I ask you… Who are YOU!?? Love to all, Cindy ( Mrs Justa)

The world is really unpredictable, life is whirling around us so fast, and no one really knows where it will stop.

Mark told me of a mother who took her 20 year old son to a shooting range. He innocently aimed at a target and she took a gun and shot her son, then shot herself.

In Binghamton NY a man went on a rampage and shot and killed 14 people including himself in  an immigrant training center. He knew what he was doing, he came loaded up to do more then he ended up doing, and he mailed a package to a news station with his license, his pistol permit and a letter about how different parts of his life he has been treated poorly, he appears paranoid in the letter.

In the city there are senseless shootings it seems like every night. Teenagers, innocent bystanders, people who have futures, lives, loves, and suddenly their world is turned upside down. Now, if they are lucky enough to survive , ( and for some of them is might not seem lucky to have survived) they have to deal with healing, maybe reconstructive surgery, maybe no longer able to do their jobs, raise their children. There was a situation a few weeks back where kids 14 yrs old were at a house across the street from a man who was going to work. And for the FUN of it, they aimed at this man and shot him, killed him.

I see people at work who are struggling to make it into work, who have difficulties paying for things they really need, who are being frugal.

Depression is real, mental health is unappreciated too often, it is as common as a cold, the flu. We need to treat the mind as we do the rest of our bodies. There should not be a stigma that mental health is a negative issue- it is not. If I was younger, I would train to assist the mental health community. I think at 55 yrs old, I am too old to go to school for that profession. But it is real, it is not hocus pocus, or imaginary. And it is increasingly rearing its symptoms as the situations of our day to day lives become more unpredictable.

At work I know it seems the we have increased our reviews for Mental health requests ten fold. It is a sad time right now, and I can be Suzie Sun Shine- I always try to be, but I am also feeling the pain of others, the strain we feel and the worry of many about what the future holds.

I find myself stretching to try to help keep everyone around me upbeat- for life is too short to spend it down, when we are down the days are longer, nights are lonely, there is no sun, the shades are drawn, and if it were not for forced responsibilities, the depression can eat a persons every bit of energy.

So I ask that we each be aware of those who are going through tough times, be cognizant of your family and friends, and be there for a shoulder, share what you have, help them find a support group or a counselor,  we can not be blind or tunnel visioned, and do not take lightly when someone is down, for it is hard to get back up, people really do need people. Do not be afraid to talk to a professional, if you are employed, see if your company has an Employee Assistance Program, if not call the county, see what is available. Peace and kind thoughts come your way as this Easter weekend approaches. Love, Mrs justa.

The first sign of Spring to me is my tulips blooming. It is after the honking of Canadian Geese have been infiltrating the silence, and after seeing the first Robin, it is after other’s crocuses have popped up- to me it is the tulips.

When we moved last year I dug up all the various tulip bulbs I had and brought them here. Damned if I could find them as summer turned into fall. So now I am going to Walli-world and am going buy about 20 sprouting bulbs and put them under the development sign in the front corner of our yard. It bugs me because I remember taking about 40 tulip bulbs , all different colors, and  putting them in a zip lock gallon bag- two of them actually, but I have absolutely no idea where they ended up in the move.

Moving sucks!!! We like it here, but it really was a pain in the butt packing up a whole life , tossing stuff and packing the rest. It is nice once all the hard work is done, but  it really is a lot of work. I believe we went through every box and bin, so I am wondering if the tulips were not accidentally tossed.

I would be happy if the temps stayed around the 60s to the 70s all year round. Some rain, some sun, a nice balance. This freezing temperatures one day and 50s the next are hard to get used to.

New York State does have beautiful seasons, the beginning of winter is really strikingly beautiful and the crisp white snow covers the world, it gives the impression of purity. Fall is unbelievable , the colors so bright, so brilliant, and the temperatures around what I like. Summer, well the beginning is nice, but when the humidity gets so high that we are drier in the shower then we are in the living room, well I am not a fan of the sticky humidity.  I do love the smell of lilacs in May and the smell of freshly cut grass, the feel of a nice breeze on a summer night, the sound of thunder and the tapping of rain drops on the windows.

The tulip however is a sign of a new beginning, a fresh start, a sign that the ice chopper and snow blower can be put to rest and the lawn ornaments and hose need to come out.

So I really hope Walli-world still has some for me, for I have been thinking about them for 2 weeks now. And should I find my bulbs from the old house, well I will plant them for next Spring. If I get any tulips planted, I will take some photos… if not I will be bummed.

Spring— yes, we deserve it after 145 or more inches of snow, yes… we deserve it. Love to all, Cindy

Meditation, quiet time, time to reflect, time to wonder, time to grab a good book or magazine, maybe take a lazy day nap. 

Spring time is teasing us, trying to come and stay, and this one day it was 60 out, the sun was shining and so I opened the side door and placed a bar stool in front of the door to see what the cat would do.

In less then a minute he ran down and claimed his spot.  He sat there for a very long time, just staring out the door. As the day grew longer, the temperature rose, and so I lifted the windows up a bit to bring in the Spring air.

He found a place to reflect in every place the opportunity arose. He is an indoor cat, so the outdoors is a temptation only, I think if he ended up outside he would be

frightened. He has only back claws, so his defenses would be tarnished too. But he loves the sun, the fresh air, the outside from afar.

I find that I too can just sit and absorb the beauty of the world , watch life as it passes by, wonder about the people who go by, love the feeling of sunlight on my face and wind blowing through my hair.

Our park bench gives us an open invitation to catch that breeze, to breathe in the fresh air and to soak in the rays. Oh I just love this time of year. Not too hot, not too cold….. except tonight at 2AM there is a prediction for snow, lake effect, unsure of the amount….but it is going to force the doors and windows closed, the furnace on, my electric mattress pad on, and a warm coat in the morning. Yuck!! So enjoy whatever brings a smile to your face and a song in your heart. Love to all, Cindy

My Saturday was incredibly busy, I was first up early for our traditional breakfast on Sat morning out, then off to work for 3 hrs, we had to scoot quickly home to let Indi out and then zoomed over to a friends home, their son was having a 21st Bday party. We were there till after 7PM, then home to get the laundry done and get ready to go to church this morning to sing special music with 2 of my friends from church.

All was going quickly, until I realized the washer had finally decided enough is enough, and after 20 yrs of service , decided it was not going to work any longer. I have to admit I was not surprised, just disappointed , as I had one more load of laundry to do, and the one in the washer needed to be put in a garbage bag and we got to wring it out by hand at the kitchen sink.

That very brief moment of laundry in the Old Western Days made me REALLY appreciate God having me born in these years and not back in the days of doing wash on the rocks, or using a scrub board.

So today, let’s see, we got up reasonably early, I had to meet people at church at 10:30, 

we sang our Trio of a song called “Blest Are They”, I flew home, we made a quick lunch, then off to Home Depot and found this great deal !

At first we saw a set of top loader washer and dryer, and thought the set was 999.00 but as the sales person started to head towards the invoice center, Mark was on the ball and realized each were 999.00- so we told her that was more then we were planning on spending. So we looked around a bit, and low and behold, this pair was 998.00- it is front loading, energy star ( so we can claim something next tax year) Free delivery, set up and removal of the old stuff- this was a deal. They come on 4-14-09- which means we will be doing the laundry mat 2 times in the next 9 days.

Then  we went to Jeff’s and Amanda’s and were blessed with spending 4 hrs with Brandon, and his parents got to go out on a date- had a nice meal out, relaxed and never called us once to see how we were doing!. We had a ball with him, he is growing so quickly, I can not imagine living too far away.

Then we went and zoomed thru the grocery store, stopped at Pizza Hut , (Mark had a yearning to try the cheese stuffed pizza crust) –( pretty tasty !!)- we came home by 8:45, I have the groceries put away, the laundry that made it before retirement of the Whirlpool, and I am going to fly around here quickly and wipe down the bathrooms and kitchen. A quick cleaning for this week, I will be more through next week.

I already have one call in for tomorrow so I know the day will be a challenge. But I am really PSYCHED- we helped the economy ( by no choice of our own independently- Mr Whirlpool had something to do with it) and we have a new washer and dryer- it has been a long time since we got the last ones. I hope they are as good and dependable as the ones we just finally wore out. So I am going,  have a good night. Love, Cindy

TEAM WORK- it is great to experience team work in action.

It can not be scripted, it can not be forced, it just is.

I have worked in a few places where the group of people I worked with were  in tune with one another. Each knew what had to be done and everyone worked together to achieve the goal .

There is not “I” in team.

Where I work the people I work with are just amazing. We see what needs to be done, and everyone really tries to accomplish the goals each day together. No one gets up at the end of the day with tunnel vision, leaving , without making sure all still there are okay.

Today really impressed to me what a great group of people I work with. Fridays and Mondays are heaviest on requests and workloads. Many calls come in, many clinical reviews are done, it is fast paced but thorough. We have almost enough people when everyone is there, but today, well we had one person on vacation and 3 of the 6 phone people were out, plus we are short one of our clerical positions,and my Director and the other manager were off,  so let me tell you, it was a shaking of all the plans day, and finding each persons strongest point and running with it.

It was like when Jeff and I went out to help in an area that was getting flooded. He was young, he could hold the bag open, I could shovel the sand, then we would switch roles. We went out there, not knowing anyone there and offered our help at filling sand bags, and then people passed them to one another in a line. Individually much less would have been accomplished, but together, the 50 or so people there made a huge difference. That was a great feeling to help people, not because we knew them, but because they were in danger and we wanted to help. We never met the people we were helping, we did it because it was the right thing to do. The team work at something like this is incredible, you do not notice the weather, nor that you have to pee, or that you are thirsty, you have a mission, and together, you can achieve it.

Well today was exhausting, it was a “get-r-done” type of day, people sick , but we can do it, and as time passes from the day and turns into the night, I feel the fatigue. Mark said I would !! It was a crazy, busy day. I think I remember the clock 2 times today- at 11:55 and 3:55, and both times I was shocked at the time it was. A feel good, bust our butts together day. So soon I will be retreating into our bed, electric mattress pad on warming my weary body, and soft pillow nestling my head , a dog at my feet and my husbands arm on my side.  An end to a great day.  PS… Thanks Google images for these shots !! Love to all, Cindy

Put on some good music to move by !!

LETS GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay everyone, twist your body to the left then right. Stretch your back , feel the muscles tighten.

Come on now you can do it, 10 to the right , 10 to the left. Breathe slowly, in through your nose, out through  your mouth.

Tap your toes   as you go to twist.

Swing your arms

Now raise those arms, one at a time and you twist that waist, STRETCH- feel the stretch.

Left 10 times, then right 10 times, you can do it,

again… 10.9.8.7.6.5.4.3.2.1

Thanks the way,

now we are going to add a new move.

There you go, bend at the waist and bring your arms down,

10 times to the left 10 times to the right. You can do it, after these we will repeat the full set, so get ready for another round.

You didn’t put this on over night, it will come off slowly.

Tone you body, it feels good… One more set, yes now you got it….

I thought I would inspire you all with Kitty aerobics. Heck if Imus can do this , I should be able to !. Have a good stretch, Love to all, Cindy