April 2009

Creatures of habit, many of us are. I think we sometimes do not realize it until something makes the habit break. I watch myself and others and I see little routines we do. Maybe the way we set up our desk each morning, some folks ( including myself) come in every morning and there is a process of where they put their things they have brought to work, a coat, a lunch bag, and they turn their computer on at the same sequence.

(thanks google for this image of creatures of habit !)

Every day 5 minutes before lunch I can set my watch on some folks who walk by me to hit the bathroom before lunch.  How they get ready to leave for the day, certain quirks.

I find I have weird idiosyncrasies , many. One is whenever I am home and go on the computer, before I get up I have to play a game of spider solitaire. If I win then the next day is going to be good, if I lose…well the next day is going to be bad.

Or how I get dressed in the morning, the order I take my meds in, at lunch at work I throw the lunch in the micro wave oven and scoot over to watch the cars go by the building down the main street. Creatures of habit, we have little skits of habit and we follow the same steps .

Even the pets have habits. When I am leaving for work Mark goes to the window to watch me go, the cat is on the window sill and Indi next to Mark. All watching me leave.We wave the sign language hand signal  for “I Love You”  and off I go. The animals turn away and do their thing.

Then when I get home, Indi watches what I am doing, he listens and watches as we eat dinner, as soon as I am done, Indi lets me know he wants to be held for a brief time. Every meal.

The cat, he can have food left from the day before but every morning at 5:30 or 6 he meows and has figured out what things might wake us up- his habit in the morning is stretching to try to open the blinds, the knocking the phone off the table, trying to chew on plastic to make noise. once he is fed, he is quiet for the rest of the day.

I do try to change how I go to work for a variety, so not to get stuck in a habit. When I get in I try to consciously change the stairs I go up, or the aisles I go down. But it is tough. It feels awkward. Look at your own life, what habits are you stuck in? Try changing a routine and see how it feels. Like maybe going through the grocery store from the last aisle to the first, or change the order you get dressed, maybe the way you do something at work. If you are anything like me, ya feel like you have 2 left feet. But do it anyway ! Enjoy, Love Mrs Justa…. alias Cindy

I had an interesting experience this morning. One that enlightened me as it also made me aware of what I may do sometimes.

I had an eye appointment, one I was not looking forward to, as the eye doctor was doing a type of glaucoma challenge. He had me stop using my eye drops for glaucoma a couple of nights ago so he could check the pressure in my eyes and also check the angles of the two types of glaucoma I have. He also wanted to see the effect of no eye drops to the previous surgeries I have had on each eye to try to relieve the pressure caused by narrow angle glaucoma and plateau iris ( the other type of glaucoma I have in both eyes)

I gotta tell you, having a professional want to play with glaucoma is kind of scary, but I understood his reasoning and I also understood why we were doing this at the Syracuse office and not at the satellite office closer to where we live. The main office has the lasers right there if there is an emergency situation, and with glaucoma it can be the difference between sight and no sight.

So needless to say I personally was concerned about this visit- as I looked around the main waiting room I noticed people of my age and older, from what appeared to be many walks of life, and with vision issues of major concern. After I left the main waiting room I was called back to a smaller waiting room, I think for 3 docs. As I sat back there there were times I was alone and sometimes another person was in this maybe 20 chair waiting room. I watched as staff walked in and out of the rooms and offices in the back of the waiting room and right by me. I intentionally looked at each of them , directly in the eyes and smiled a small smile. In the hour I did this, only 2 of  as least 35 chances did someone look at me, at my eyes and notice and acknowledge me. The 2 who saw me, who smiled back, who asked “How are you today?” it took seconds– those 2 people were male nurses.

The rest of the staff ( mostly female ) looked at me but through me. As if they could see right through my head. Like I was an empty chair. It was amazing! Working in any medical office one needs to remember that something brought these people to come in. Often it is for something gone wrong.

In an EYE SPECIALIST office, these people are dealing with problems, problems with sight, some may be dealing with possibilities of not seeing as well as we once did, maybe people are there who can no longer do what they love ( reading, sewing, looking at magazines, watching TV) maybe some have pain. I was amazed how most of the staff had no compassion in their eyes for the strangers in the waiting rooms, not until it was the patient’s turn to be called. Then the blank stare from the staff focused on the patient they needed. 

Healthcare professionals, public service professionals need to remember that they would not have their job if it were not for the people they serve, the people who come to them, the people who need their help. And every one of those people are PEOPLE- with feelings, with parents, with lives, with problems of their own. When you are at work, your focus needs to be on those you are there because of. A smile back, a recognition, it costs you nothing but gains you much.

I can tell you, I can pick out the 2 faces clearly in a crowd of the 2 who acknowledged me, spoke to me, smiled at me, and interaction that took only seconds- but the rest of the folks who looked through me- they left an impression – not an image.  Tonight I close with a thought- do you want to be remembered? And how do you want to be remembered – as a person—or as a negative impression? Love Cindy

As the day turns into night and I have visions of the pillow nestling my head and the mattress pad heating my muscles I am brought to a calm state.

I made it through a Monday and I am off tomorrow, back to work Weds. 100_2447_editedI have a vision of a wall hanging on Amanda and Jeff’s wall in their entry-way and I am comforted by its statement.

Faith, family and friends. These are necessary components in life. We need faith to take the next step, to take the leap to a challenge that might seem very tough.

Family. For some of us our family may not be a strong point. To me it is. It is funny but even though we do not see each other as much as we should, we know we are each there. I do worry about the day one of us turns around to find another has gone , passed on. For we can not replace the times we have missed.

Friends. When I was much younger I felt that a person needed a wealth of friends. So many they would not ever have time for themselves. But as I have gotten older I have come to find that true friends are few not many. I have a handful of true friends, and I love each one of them . And I often worry that I may have missed that last conversation, that last interaction, and when a person is gone, they are gone.

I find that life is unpredictable and we know not how many roads and pathways we may go upon in our journey. But through them all, through all the twists and turns, the darkness and brightness, FAITH can always be there. Per the dictionary faith means

“1 a: allegiance to duty or a person : loyalty b (1): fidelity to one’s promises (2): sincerity of intentions2 a (1): belief and trust in and loyalty to God (2): belief in the traditional doctrines of a religion b (1): firm belief in something for which there is no proof (2): complete trust3: something that is believed especially with strong conviction ; especially : a system of religious beliefs <the Protestant faith>

synonyms see belief

— on faith

: without question <took everything he said on faith>”

Do you have at least one good friend that you can share your deepest thoughts with? Is there someone in your family whom you find comfort with?

What do you have Faith in? Three very important components to live life by, nurturing and treasuring our family and friends, and never losing our faith. Love to all, Cindy

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Last year just about 12 months ago, this was just a piece of land for sale, one that Mark had a vision that he shared with me, he asked me to come out and check it out and see if I too felt this could be a potential place for us to move to.


I saw his vision , so we worked our butts off packing , dreaming, financing a new home and the land. It took us probably 3 1/2 months to get from the vision to the reality. 022


There was a sign on the property that had not really been weeded out or planted for a few years, so we had decided that we would take care of the sign if the land became ours. And last year we did weed this out and got much and some flowers, ( we actually did it before we owned the property)


This weekend we once again were looking at this land,it is just different because it is our land,  and realizing it was time to plant the flowers around the sign for the development and to get the mowers out.  We put lights up around the sign this year, kinda looks neat!


Yesterday was the flower and mulch day. And  today at about 6:40 we decided we would tackle the mowing. We had been blessed with dinner over here with Amanda, Jeff and Brandon, they arrived about 3:30, dinner at 4:30 and after they left we made the determination to mow.

Mark got out the John Deere and took off, I pulled out the self propelled push mower and realized there was not much oil in it, so I had to scoot to a near by store ( 6 miles away) and get oil, gas and scooted back to push mow about 15 feet out around the house , around the shed, and do the ditches. Needless to say, I am really looking forward to my heated mattress pad today! It felt good to do it, to get it done, and it made me think about procrastination.

That made me sway to what do I procrastinate about? I have joined weight watchers, that was a major procrastination,  I hate procrastination. It is like Satan’s voice encouraging me to sway from a destiny. I am trying to stay focused, make lists for things to do and make sure I complete the list, and Satan… you can go somewhere else, cuz I am going to beat your butt!. Love to all, Cindy


Life is so precious, life teaches us lessons that we do not even realize it taught us, life is full of warm embraces and surprising things that bring us smiles, brings us warm fuzzy feelings. God fills us with the ability to love and be loved, to share and make others smile.

Indi is full of love, and Brandon is beginning to see that too.

Special times, treasure each one, like a heated mattress pad ( ah I gotta tell ya, anyone who has never had this experience and have any sort of aches and pains, this is the cats meow! ) Mark always teases me by saying  no turning on your side of the mattress pad tonight, but I run in and turn that baby on. In the winter it is GREAT because the sheets are warm when you climb into bed, now it is just like laying on a warm sidewalk, or soaking in a warm bath. Soothing to the bones and muscles, comforting, relaxing ahhh I am making myself sleepy! But  I turn it off around 3AM when my hormones start taking over and I start with my every night hot flashes, but until then let me tell ya, it is a special as a dog giving you a smooch, or whimpering for you to give them a hug.

At night after each dinner Indi has a wish, it is a small wish, and he whimpers to let me know I have not followed through. After he knows dinner is through he just wants a hug. So he jumps on my lap, I pet him for a minute or 2, he sets his head on my shoulder then off he goes. 100_2675_edited

Brandon does not crawl, he rolls to where he wants to get to, and he reaches for the pets as they get in eye site. He rolled over to the dog bed to see Indi, he rolled back to find the cat.

He too is full of love and smiles for everyone. Yes life is full of special moments, I personally never understood the joy grand parenting would bring, but it is so clear to me now. We both love this little guy to death, we see him weekly and his smile and hugs almost hold  us over for another week. May you have your own special moments and may you take the time to realize what they are. Hold onto them ,acknowledge them, and keep them in your heart and memories.  I think there are many special moments that go right by without notice because we are too busy, too stressed, too tired. Find them cherish them and they will fill you with peace. Love Mrs justa.

Blue hills

Can you imagine what  a feat it would be to start at one side and get over all these mountains to the other side. Over and down, over and over again.

That is how life is, we have mountains of problems, mountains of temptations, mountains of successes , challenges, joys, heartaches and of failures. Yet we keep climbing, hoping that maybe over the next one we will find what we are seeking, what we are striving for. And when it feels like we have made it, well there is another dang mountain.

I can go over many times in my life when the mountain seemed too high, it would be easy to say forget it, I think I will build camp right here and to heck with the mountain, but each time there is a push from my inner self, a tug at my shoulder and a nudge at my back , a hunger to see the top, and the other side. And up I go on the imaginary mountains of challenges. But it is a must to remember that you climb a mountain one step at a time. And when you get to the top, oh the air is thin but the victory is sweet. I find I can not get too used to the top, cuz that nudge, that tug seems to push me back down. But while I am there, I suck into my soul the sweet feeling of achievement, of endurance, of success.

The journey of exercising, of weight loss, day to day activities, of work, of laundry, or housework, of mowing the yard, of paying bills, of shopping for Christmas, or mending things, of calling a friend or sharing time with loved ones, all parts of mountains in life. And how I approach them is how steep that mountain is. If I approach them with negativity, the mountain is straight up, but if I approach them with a “you can do it" attitude, then the mountain has ledges, has a less of an angle. So to each of you I wish you success in taking those steps, success in getting to the top, because only at the top can you really see clearly the whole picture, no blockages or boundaries, the opportunities seem endless at the top of the mountain.

Walk carefully, never give up and see how many mountains of life you will travel over. Love Cindy

Today was day one of the “At Work Weight Watchers Program” It was enlightening, because as much as I think I understand stuff I am always hit in the face with surprises.

It was neat to be in a meeting with everyone I knew, I hated going to one alone and feeling uncomfortable in the environment.

So the enlightening things from today were 1) the difference in the trainer now and when she started weight watchers- she is 85 pounds lighter and still looking to lose more.

She was telling everyone that you really have to be careful with the labels, that the pizza places may cut a pizza in 8 slices, but the 12 in pizza should be in 12 slices. So watch the actual appropriate serving size and not the one a restaurant states is what you should have. Lets see, she also was pointing out things like pop tarts- a quick and easy breakfast- it comes in 2 pieces- if you have both – you have had 14 points out of your daily intake-where 1/2 a bagel is 6 points. ** 2 pot pies are 16 points****

Ideally the whole grain cereals and such, but there are so many options of any type of food, just watch the quantity. So I am signed up for 10 wks at work right now, I will see how it goes, They want us to work out or walk at least 4 times a wk for 30 minutes- and I am doing that, so I think it will be just re looking at everything. I am excited, and Mark is going to follow what I do, so it should be 2 for the price of one . I just love this cartoon, I found it on google images and I had to laugh. I think our scale wants to hide behind the door too. But not forever… we will do this. Keep rooting for us. I am only going to go down from here. So in theory I will never be what I weigh today again, and tomorrow I again will never be that weight again after the next couple of days. Kinda like today never comes again, this is our chance to make a difference. Love to all, Cindy

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