Treasured Moments

Life is unpredictable, it is challenging at times, it is easy to forget that life is not infinite. I sometimes look at our grandkids and realize how much life is in my rearview mirror. We had the three kids here a few weeks ago for the weekend, I loved every single second of it. This past Year and a half has been such a weird time, with a pandemic, no one seeing anyone, having to do air hugs, doing more on line ordering, grocery pick up when possible, and not spending time with those who mean so much to me.

Mark and I have spent countless hours talking, playing Yahtzee, doing games on our phone where we challenge one another, and spending time home. I wont say we are being paranoid, I kinda look at it as being cautious. Neither of us are physically fit and young, both things that make us a better risk for getting pretty sick if we were to get the virus.

So we got our vaccines once they were available and really interact with only a few people. We have a couple close friends we have spent some fun times with, and we have masks when needed and we have the term “social distancing” imbedded in our brains.

Well the weekend with the kids was a treat. Briella , Brandon and Preston are all very wonderful kids, unique in their own ways, yet they are so close to one another too. The boys love doing games with Grandpa and Briella and I tend to do stuff together . And there are times we all do stuff together.

Briella loves to help me out and it is funny how she tells me she will take care of me if I ever need help. She has a laugh that will make everyone laugh, she has dreams of the future and all that could lie ahead. She wants to always look her best, She loves warm bathes, and time to sit and talk.

This picture reminds me of her reaching to me to offer help. She is so full of smiles, life, and she has a good heart. She truly cares about others.

Brandon and Preston are both very caring kids too. Brandon being the oldest is kinda watching the other kids all the time to make sure they are behaving. He, Preston and Grandpa will play Yahtzee, Sorry, Trouble or some made up game. Listening to them laughing and enjoying each other is enough to warm the heart on a cold winter day.

Preston has a unique ability to find humor in things and some of the things he says can’t help but make us all laugh. He is witty and quick witted. He can entertain himself for hours, but loves the interaction with others. He is good at teaching things , and extremely creative. He has a mind that is always thinking and analyzing. He asks questions that can sometimes be surprising for his age, he is very affected by the world around him. He tries to keep life balanced. He loves to help out and his wanting to do things right really shows when he is working on a task. And has a great idea on when he needs to just have some down time.

Brandon is the more serious, compassionate type, and very sincere. He truly cares how he comes across. He loves life and is very quick at picking up different new things. He analyzes and has a detective type of ability. He listens and absorbs the world around him. He wants to help with projects we have going, and being a tad older he is more and more able to do more grownup type things, like he loves to mow and he snow blows for his family. He has a deep compassion for animals and for doing the right thing.

I look at time with them each as a blessing. And even though we have not shared as much time together as we used to, each time we do it is like no time was in between.

As the kids age, there are so many things to consume time, things that are important to try as they grow through the years into adult hood. Sports, friends, family time, all is important to growing healthy. I think they each know how much they mean to us, and we know how much they love us too. We don’t need to be in the same house to know that, it is unstoppable from afar.

As the world turns and time seems to fly by, pandemic continuing in one way or another, I am truly thankful for what we have, and every night I thank God for the gifts life brings. I know there is heart ache and pain in this world, and when those times happen, I know God is there to carry us through. I also know that life gives us few guarantees, and we can’t plan the future to be the way it comes out, so knowing that no matter when lies ahead, that there are people who know I love them and I know love me, well I can’t think of anything better.

Until later, Mrs. Justa.

 

A Great Weekend

What a busy last few days, what a wonderful way to spend those every precious moments in life Last week we knew we were going to be blessed with Briella for 2 nights and the boys for one night. So, as a gramma, I go into my mode of thinking of ways have preparations are done for the weekend ( laundry, beds freshly made, laundry done and such,) as we love to spend time with them.

I planned meals and thought of games, and some teaching “helping gramma” time that Briella and I could do. She absolutely loves to help, loves to learn and often wants to try things that she says she knows how to do, but when offered the opportunity, she says she might not really know how to do it.

She wanted to take a picture of the sky with my phone/camera- I explained that she had to be really careful, ( as I prefer it not to be dropped in a slushed area at the park…..) once handed the phone, well she needed a lot of help understanding the pointing of the phone, but in the end, I have my first picture taken by Briella.

Not bad for a first with my phone.

Oh, we read some books, we did some floor “Swiftering” which she asks to do, we made brookies from scratch, we prepared lasagna, we did some games,                                            puzzles, and cuddling. I have to say, I enjoyed every minute.

The weekend only gets better when we add the 2 boys to it. As they totally love life too. Grandpa and the boys have a neat relationship,.They love being with Grandpa, and he with them,  and there are chess challenges, and journeys through the moments talking, playing,  teaching and learning.

Brandon had to be low key as he had hurt his ribs and side in a fall just before coming out. So he and the reclining couch and a heating pad were friends.  They watched a documentary on a submarine that was found from long ago, they talked about all kinds of things.

Brandon and I shared time with a game called pick-up-sticks. We really had fun with that. The three kids and UI did a few rounds of Old Maid. Grandpa and the boys did Sorry and Trouble a number of times and deep concentrating games of chess.  They also had CHILL time.

We try to listen to what each has to say and offer. They have such incredible minds. They are appreciative of anything done for them or with them, and each kid has their own personality and interests. There is little jealousy, and it is funny how Briella and Preston can love each other or be like oil and water. So it is a treat to be able to have them all here and to enjoy each of their many precious qualities.

It is funny how when they all left the silence is almost deafening. The hum of the washer doing the sheets, and the dog snoring next to us, those are the only sounds.

We reflect on the weekend, we are still and chill. I feel refreshed and thankful for the special times we had. A great way to start the week….

Until later, Mrs Justa alias Cindy

 

 

 

Facing Life Challenges

As I think of life and the challenges it brings I am reminded of my grandmother. The first 4 yrs of my life we blessed with her presence. In that time though, this woman left a lasting impression on me. She had lost her vision before I was born. My mom had told us she had undergone surgery for glaucoma and her optic nerve was so damaged that she lost her vision.

We lived in an upper flat in Bridgeport Conn, and it is amazing what I remember from those beginning years of my life. We lived there together, my parents, my grandmother, my older sisters and me. Karen was 10 yrs older than me, so I am sure she remembers much more than I do. Pam was 1 1/2 yrs older.

My grandmother though, even though she had not literal sight, she did amazing things. We, as children, needed to make sure we did not move furniture or leave toys on the floor.  I remember wanting to help hold my grandmother’s hand to help her at times. In the apartment, I remember there was this sewing machine and it seems like it was in a corridor or a hallway. She loved sewing, and even though she could not use her eyes, she used her sense of touch. This sewing machine was totally manual. We would open up the table and she could sit at it, put her feet on the pedal plate and as she pushed up and down on the treadle, the machine would sew.  I would watch her sew aprons, napkins, things the had square pieces of fabric. My mom must have cut the squares of material, but my grandmother would sew the pieces together, rocking back and forth on the treadle. If something moved out of place, I would help her by getting it.  I loved the time with her and I remember trying to imagine not seeing, and amazed by her ability to not let that stop her.

I do not remember her doing things in the kitchen, but I also remember her holding me on her lap. It was a sense I just always remember being there. This picture is me on her lap and Pam next to us.  I remember bedtime stories as she “read”. Pam and I would help turn pages as she seemed to be at the next part of the story, and sometimes we would tell her she skipped a page.

When you are born and people are a part of your life from the start, they are a part of why the sun rises and sets. You just know they are there. I truly loved her, her embrace was comforting, her love was welcoming, her determination to live life to the best she could, she was such an inspiration to me. I often wonder if I ever drove her crazy. Pam and I were so different, she was more subdues, me I think I was always kinda silly, active, and hmmm probably a little overwhelming at times.

I remember the day I saw her last… I was 4,  she was at the sewing machine and she said was unable to lift the needle, her hands were not working. I remember her being frightened, and me being scared and getting my mom. I remember an ambulance coming, the men who came and got her, and as they drove away, not understanding what was happening. That was the end of that chapter in my life, she never came home. When she left her earthly home, ended up in her eternal home, she may have left the world in a physical sense, but the things that matter, her soul, her spiritual gifts, those never died, and as confusing as it was to me at four, her determination, her accepting adversity, her unending appreciation for each moment, that lives on. What a blessing she was to me, she helped to lay the foundation blocks of my life, and to remind me that life was never promised to be easy, it is a gift and a matter of attitude how we handle it.

Until later, Mrs Justa alias Cindy

 

Quality not Quantity

I often find my mind taking me back in time, and remember that through most of the years of my life, it was the times spent with the special men in my life, not the times away from that I remember most. As a very young girl, it was my dad. He was the comfort, the strength, a gift. His job had him away during the week and home on Thurs nights and back out on a short sales run, returning usually Friday nights.

Our time together meant everything to me. I remember his hand holding mine securely, his voice was deep, his love for all of us was unending. I remember his hugs, his laughter.

He used to say I was his princess. I remember how he tried to take time for each of us. and my time I saved in a vault in my mind, in my heart. It brings me comfort in so many ways.

I remember how he was one who would remind me through the years he was alive, that life never promised to be all good, bad things happen, and that somehow the bad turns into good again.

Karen was 10 years older than me, and it is funny in the couple of pictures I have of her with me and dad, she is always looking back at me. I can only imagine I was a chatty little one.

We all remember dad in different ways I am sure. Karen was 10 when I was born, so she already had 10 years of memories before my dad times started.

Pam my next older sister was 1 1/2 yrs older than me. She and I had a lot of fun and not so fun times, just due to age, and I always felt a tad bit of jealousy from her. She too had memories of dad, and dads death took a really bad toll on her. To the point that as an adult woman, every anniversary of his death she would end up in a severe depression. Sometimes to the point of needing an inpatient admission to help her get to the other side.

As I got older, there have been men in my life who also had employment that required they be gone a good percentage of the weeks. I never ever regretted that, I accepted it without any second thought, because the time they were home, was valuable, treasured and never taken for granted. It is not the amount of time spent, it is how we use the time when we have it to spend. To be constantly together, 24/7; I think it becomes an expectation, I think there are moments that would be more special if they were not routine.

During the first 10 years of my life, I remember my mom, however times I remember more vividly are those in which my mom and dad were there. I wonder often how life would have been had he not died when I was 10. Time with dad, it was quality time, the pieces fit together.

As I look back on my own adult life, Mark was away often for his job, just like my dad was. It was how life was. When our own kids were growing up- we tried to spend quality time with them when Mark was home. We would go to some places – often places that did not cost a penny, yet their value priceless. Walks in parks, sitting on docks, camping in our pup tents, later advancing to pop-ups. Playing ball, frisbee, Yahtzee, the list goes on.

And now the times with our grandchildren, the moments are treasured, they are not routine, and we do things with them. It is the special times, times giving of oneself and really focusing on the other person, those are quality times.

AS I am off for a new week, I am going to work on quality and not quantity…

Until later, Mrs Justa alias Cindy

 

Another Year In The Rear View Mirror

Today marks yet another year of life. The moments are but footprints, soon to be washed away, yet leaving impressions in our memory banks. A year of hopefully some positive that happened, a year for some filled with one or more life-changing moments, and a year that some may want to run out of as quickly as possible.

I have a friend who married a man that is her soul mate. I mean to the max. The love you see in their eyes when she talks about him- about them- in their interactions captured on photos, it has been a truly blessed year for her.

I have a friend, she is a soulmate friend, we think alike, we just know when the other needs a call, a text, a visit, we say the same things, .. well she and her husband retired. They totally changed their living situation, sold a home, bought a place in Florida and have a permanent park setting on a lake in Upstate New York… Part of her time south, part up here. Oh, they had some major bumps along the journey, but all in all, looking at their smiles and stress-free facial expressions, it has been a good year for them.

Mark’s and my year, whoa, we look in the rearview mirror of that, and it has been full. We started the year with a 6-month mania for Mark, the incredible changes in our lives during that time and the challenges for him to face the 4 1/2 months of climbing out of depression. I experienced changing my department at work in August due to my place of employment being acquired by a very large company and learning oh so many new things. It is a good thing, just a big change. We spent some fun rewarding times with the grandkids and spent some great times with family. We helped Marks mom as she transitioned from an apartment to an Assisted Living Environment. Yes, it has been a year.

I think about life, each breath, each step, each second is like a snowflake. By itself, it may not mean much, but add them together and it creates memories, it creates opportunities. And as quickly as a snowflake can melt, so can the moment be gone. I look back on the year and think of all the things different, of the few more aches that might be there at times, and I wonder what lies ahead.

I long to treasure each moment, to look for the good in everything, and to be the best I can be.  I am thankful for what has been and what is yet to come. I realize that life is full of changes, of hurt and of happiness. I feel blessed that I am aware of the presence of those who have passed on still being here for me in their subtle ways. I feel thankful to have been blessed with my husband, our kids, and our grandkids. I am thankful for my siblings and all the members of our family, my friends, the church I attend and thankful for living my life in the comfort of God.

As I look ahead, I do not know what each day will bring, but each breath I take, each step I make will be with the intent to be the best I can be for that moment.  The saying “moss won’t grow on a rolling stone” will continue to be a reminder to keep moving…  So as I end this year with this post, I wish all have time to reflect, to look ahead. Happy New Year. Until next year, Mrs Justa alias Cindy

 

Interacting and Technology

So as I was making my weekly grocery list on a pad of real paper, with an actual pen, I was thinking- hey I could just go online, and order this all.. and …. nope— STOP…. I am going to continue to go out and shop for groceries. I enjoy seeing others, I enjoy making sure what we are buying is what we intended to buy, …

Well, this got me thinking… I think as the world continues to advance, to become more virtual, we have to remember to have real-life experiences. We need to interact with face to face, real life, and reach out and touch moments.

To see peoples face on face time is a great tool, because people can be in places you can not be, and have a conversation with them. However, doing face time with people that are just a few miles away, well I feel that going outside and seeing them might be the option to take.

We can now go to our computer, cell phone, tablet or probably talk in the air to “Alexa” or “Google” devices, give a list of things we need from the store, and have it delivered to our doorstep, or have someone waiting to load it in our car.

Instead of face to face, touch the items, one can buy virtually anything without going out and seeing it. And God forbid it not be what we expected from the image online we ordered it from. Instead, had we just gone to a local vendor, a store, a warehouse and seen it, felt it, looked it over, well then we know what we are buying.

Now everyone ( including me) can make all the excuses and reasons why this is so great. It keeps me away from germs of others, I do not need to deal with long lines, it gives me more time to fill up my day with a bunch of other stuff. Heck before we know it we have fit what used to be 36 hrs of actions in an 18 hr day.

We do not have to go to a movie- nope we can sit in the comfort of our home and watch the movie, stop it when we want, and put it back on after we pee, or grab a drink, or stretch, AND we can watch it in our jammies. Now I am not saying this is wrong, it does, however, take away the “going out to a move” experience. The smell of the popcorn, the darkness as you sit on seats in rows that are on an inclining floor.

There is nothing that replaces taking a trip to a planetarium. The music, the narrator, the feeling you are in a spaceship in orbit as they show us the universe, the night sky.

To show a child a firefly cupped in your hand, or to show them virtually via a YouTube image– well the magic is definitely in the first option.

 

Playing games, yes real hands-on , touch the pieces, not only hear the voice of your opponent but to see their eyes, to laugh in the same room, that is so much a component of that experience. Oh I know we can get games and our opponent is part of the game, we had this one game where we could choose the country and type of opponent we wanted. A man calling you “Chap” to a down-under voice teasing when they are about to whomp you. It, however, takes away the real socialization.

Virtual convenience is nice, however, we as adults, our kids, our grandkids, our friends, we also need to keep our social skills up, we need to take advantage of the value of being real- in real time… to be able to interact and not feel lost in the world.

We can in balance embrace the various incredible things that are available to us, things to make our life easier… yet we need to be aware of what is important at the end of the day, what is a need, what are we doing as a “cop-out” or because it is just less demanding of our time… and what is a want.

Thoughts to ponder…. Until later, Mrs Justa alias Cindy

 

 

 

 

 

So Nice To Spend Time Together

Well, the weekend is over and a new week begins. The dinner at Jeff and Amanda’s was the icing on the proverbial cake. It brought together Our kids , their spouses, and our kid’s kids. It happens too infrequently, it is nice when it does happen.

It brings to mind the importance of stopping for a bit. We have all gone in various directions in our lives, our grandchildren have different interests and our responsibilities keep us all going in different directions, that it is nice to stop and have all our various pathways intersect, our universes align.

At times there was more than one conversation, and the cousins laughing and having a great time, kids being kids. Life, I am so often reminded about life is what we make it to be. There are times and situations that we have no control over, and those times, well we do the best we can.

As we sat there conversing, sharing where we are in life, our days, our current events, experiences. it really is amazing all the experiences the grandchildren have had, that our kid’s families have had. Places they have been and plan to go. How each adult is very responsible, very respectable, they love one another and all love their kids immensely. As a parent ( grandparent) – I can not ask for anything more.

The 5 kids running, talking, laughing in the background took me back in time, memories of growing up in a house with 6 of kids, it brought a sense of comfort and many many memories. The sounds were what our house sounded like every single night, every weekend, every summer day and night whenever we were all in the house. It is the building blocks that create each of us. The noise of youth, noise that is there – no internet needed, no electronics, noise that is a sharing of each other. My mom would say she loved the sounds in the house, it was the sound of life. Oh at times she would get frustrated with the energy of the six of us I am sure.

When we went to bed, drifting off to sleep to the sound of the whistling tea kettle, we knew mom was getting ready  to unwind, to focus on her stuff, for she also she loved the quiet- a time she knew everyone was safe, comfortable and resting, charging up for another day of running, laughing, talking, creating and even a few arguments along the way.

It was nice to go back in time, and comforting to know that each of us is doing ok, in our own way, in our own lives. Until the next time we gather together, I will keep close the memories of today.

Until later, Mrs Justa alias Cindy

 

It is What’s Inside That Counts

This is a lesson in life that is learned and relearned and relearned again. As we grow up, we are impressed by and exposed to many people, places, events, and experiences. I remember many a time wishing I was more like another or thinking how come they have such and such, or they wear such and such.
The pressures of being feeling you are welcome or trying to be accepted, they can be overwhelming. In growing up that seemed important at times, and also seemed to not be a pathway I was on as far as it went with the “cool kids”.
I remember my mom on more than a few occasions reminding me that it is what is on the inside that counts. I may not be the best dressed, the prettiest, the richest, the most popular as I walk through life. Those things are not what is important. It is how you act, how sincere you are, how empathetic you are, how caring you are, how honest you are. Those are the qualities that make you a person others will want to know, those are the qualities of a true friend.
Material things seem to matter to many people, the best car, the most souped-up technologies, the fanciest name on the clothes … in the end- what really mattered was who we each are. Not what we have. The stores, the commercials, the internet is filled with so many THINGS to get that “special person to show them you care”. That does not show a person you care, spending time, listening, give and take conversations, that is how someone knows you care about them.

 

Have you ever known of a person who you thought was someone you wanted to know better until they opened their mouth and you realized they are extremely focused on themselves? Or wished for that certain something, only to find it was not worth the effort of getting it.

I knew a person once a LONGGG time ago who had to look in every reflection at himself. I kid you not, I think he liked when it was early morning or dusk because all the windows became mirrors.
There are so many things in life that if we determine it by its cover, by its appearance alone, we just might be focusing on something with no depth, without substance. Life is too short to be artificial.

As we raise our kids, as we mentor others, as we present ourselves to others, we need to remember it is not just what is seen, it is all those special things, it is what is beyond what is seen that matters. What can we share of us, not what can we buy, but what can we offer from our hearts to others?

Until later, Mrs Justa alias Cindy

 

 

Responsibility

 

Another day is dawning,  memories to be made, impressions to leave, moments unchangeable.

As the day begins, as the next step is about to happen, the next minute here among us, I am thinking about life and the effects we have on it.

 

RESPONSIBILITY:  We all are responsible for our actions. This goes for every single thing we do. We can not choose which things we do we are and are not responsible for. Nope, we own each thing we do.

That is a huge responsibility. Why, because sometimes the things we do, we don’t even realize or think about the end result, we get wrapped up in a moment or jump on the proverbial “bandwagon”. However, as we travel down the twists and turns of life’s journey,  and at the end of our road in life, it is us and us alone who individually made choices.

I say this because of many reasons, many reasons I myself have chosen to do things, and once they were done, well there was no rewind, no “gee I didn’t mean to be that way, or “I didn’t mean to do that” or “I didn’t mean to _______”.  The “I wish I had” thoughts do not count.

There have been things I have said, I can not take back. Actions I did, I can not undo. As a nurse, I have cared for patients who would say, “I knew better” or “If I only had never smoked” or “I took the chance ____”   Notice the similarity– “If I only had not or didn’t”

My parents would say to me when I did something I totally should not have, “You know better than that” or ” Bet you won’t do that again” or “what did you learn from that?”. And as I was growing up, she would wipe the wound ( physical or not) and guide me through the why’s and maybe even have suggestions on how to deal with that scenario in the future. They were preparing me for my future.

As we grow up we are still responsible for our actions. There are consequences to what is done, said, or ignored. If any of us are asked to do something and we say we will, if we then do it halfway, or not appropriately – if we take a risk, a dare—- we cannot go back and get those minutes to undo it.

In our roles in life, ( being a friend, an adult, a mentor, a stranger, a human being ) whether at work or in any environment around us, writing anything in social media, in an article,  we can not take it back. It paints a picture of us that can not be painted over, the “delete” does not remove words or photos or actions done.

Our reactions to something said or done, we can not undo that either. In life I have found to tread softly at times, to think before doing or saying, and to appreciate and take responsibility to every minute I am on this earth.

What image are we giving? What actions are we doing? What consequences because of those actions, or lack of actions are there? What image have I left?

Those are my thoughts this morning, something I will remember as I get ready for another day to be the best I can be.

Until later, Mrs Justa alias Cindy

 

 

Challenges or a Way Of Life

On any given day, I can look out the window and think “Oh look, the sun is up”…. period… But no- there is more… see beyond the noticing of the sunrise in the quiet of things in front of me was a glistening world of diamond-like sparkles. A cold crisp early morning gift, a gift that many may have not seen, a gift that can turn into a snowy plain ol day.

 

 

 

 

Yet, right there for all to see, a refreshing light show of sparkling colors.

It brought once again to mind thought about life. How when we are faced with things that seem monumental, we look at the proverbial mountain ( or in this case maybe a quick noticing the sun is rising) and we are overwhelmed at the tasks at hand at the end of a particular journey. Sometimes it is easier to dwell on that obstacle, which takes us longer to put it behind us.

Life can feel like it is hard at times, life is full of mountains to climb, sometimes valleys to drudge through. Plenty of times I have slipped on the proverbial mountain wandered off the proverbial path and had to retrace my steps, maybe find a slightly less challenging path to go on.

There was one person in my life that told me once she never had challenges in life. I remember thinking “heck let me share some with you” but I did not offer, and she never asked to take a few from me, so I have gone on in life realizing that at least for me, challenges exist, they can be heart wrenching, they can be touch and we conquer them one by one step at a time.

Photo by Alex Smith on Pexels.com

As I look back at this person who said this to me, as I came to know her a tad bit more many yrs ago, I now wonder- maybe just maybe she had the ability to look at those diamond-like crystals, and not just at that sunrise from afar. I think that because I truly believe we ALL face moments when life has tried to knock us down.

Maybe this person was able to anticipate but not look for that next roadblock or detour on her journey of life. If we know that challenges will lie ahead, but if we look at them as not roadblocks but the way the path takes us, then maybe we too can feel that life has been good, no matter what part of our journey we are on.

I, myself, and going to try to work on this. As I take each next step on this road of life, I will anticipate some bumps and hairpin curves, knowing the road will straighten up. To now look so far ahead, but to look at now and a few feet ahead. Not so much only living for today,, but planning for tomorrow and in those plans, the “challenges” will become part of the process.

OK, I am off to try this out, Until alter… Mrs Justa alias Cindy

 

 

 

 

When the pieces all fit in place.

I love when things come together, when all the elements of what could be, with the potential of it turning out good, or not so good and after all is said and done- well it came out to be okay.

This past weekend was just like that for me ( well for all of us I hope). We had the fortune to have my sister and her husband here for 5 days, and 3 of our grandchildren here for an overnight and a full day, and a family gathering on Saturday at our sons home, and my friend from High School here for Thanksgiving day.

I mentioned in the last post that our weekend was coming to an end. Well, now it is totally in the rear view mirror of life. The kids are back with their parents, the gatherings have all come and gone, my sister, her husband and my friend from high school have all made it home safely, and Mark and I are here with Riley. We have gone from a lot of actions to settling back down to the normal life we have.

It was fun, it was interesting at times, the kids were unbelievably great, we laughed, we played, we learned new games, we shared ideas…… we got to share family time at Jeff and Amanda’s with my siblings and their families members who could attend. Times when I wasn’t sure that things would go smoothly ( specifically the cooking of the Thanksgiving Dinner- that is always a crap-shoot because the Turkey rules- yep — dinner is not ready till the turkey is). All in all, though it went well.  Lessons learned include: cooking a boneless 3 lb turkey breast in a crockpot is awesome;  and pre-cooking the stuffing, sweet potatoes and pies worked very well.

As the dust settles, all the laundry is done and put away, the spare beds tucked away and folded chairs back in the storage area- I can head into the Christmas mode.

I hope you find magic as the days of December come and go.

Until later- Mrs Justa alias Cindy

 

 

 

“I Already Know”

I guess I never thought about this until I heard it a whole bunch of times in different settings this Thanksgiving weekend.

I saw myself doing it, and also heard it done to others. First, let me say all the social media outlets CAN BE wonderful when used as a means to give many “friends, family and acquaintances” the same bullet point information at one time. A way to create a page not yet colored in that person’s life.

Let’s say you graduated or had a baby or an exciting time at _______,  it is to share an extremely tough time or the passing of a person that you would never have known about, or a way to type in a verse or 2 about the loss you have endured. It is something, some time had it not been shared on f.b., twitter, or any of the others outlets to communicate.

It is a great way to share photos of a gathering many attended, or maybe that perfect moment you stumbled on. Those times when without sharing on social media, well it would never have been experienced in a very 2D way.

Looking at this picture- one that was probably on a facebook post, it shows a wedding, but without the personal touch, the conversation, the painting done with words, there is so much more that can fill in the outline of a “wedding”

If, however, someone starts face to face- or voice to voice on the phone- about something- well that is the beginning of an opportunity to converse. They want to make that 2D, quick blurb into a 3D moment. Voices, faces they add expression to the time they are referring to, or to the sad or happy moment captured and shared. That person wanted to put color into the social media bullet point. We ( and I can not count the times I did it) can stop the conversation, we can keep that moment just a bullet point in time, we can portrait we do not really care by interrupting- or making our first ( and often our last) response by saying ” Yeah , I already know” or “Yeah,I saw it on f.b.” .

Now if the same person starts the conversation and mentions they also had it on Facebook, ( or whatever media they put it on) we need to stop and listen. That conversation you are about to be blessed with, well it adds the personal component.

Or if you see that person, you could always start the conversation with that tidbit of their life they shared. An opportunity to bring a personal touch to a moment they shared on facebook. That can be a great time to show you care and want to hear more.

We will never ever know what we missed if we close that opportunity to have color added to social media bullet points if we stop the conversation before the colors fill in the moment in their life.

My mission for today and going forward is to let the other person not only bring up the topic but to let them take that outline, that bullet point, and add their words to it, their nonverbals, their feelings.

Until later, Mrs. Justa/ alias Cindy

 

“Times of our Lives”

There was a very popular song from the mid-1970s that Paul Anka had done and Kodak used it as an advertising jingle. The lyrics are very meaningful to me- and as I take photographs and look at photos from times gone by, as I reminisce on times captured in the Windows or my mind and heart, well this melody and its’  words- it plays in my head.

“Good morning, yesterday
You wake up and time has slipped away
And suddenly it’s hard to find
The memories you left behind
Remember, do you remember?

The laughter and the tears
The shadows of misty yesteryears
The good times and the bad you’ve seen
And all the others in between
Remember, do you remember
The times of your life? ………..

Reach out for the joy and the sorrow
Put them away in your mind
The memories are times that you borrow
To spend when you get to tomorrow

The seasons are passing one by one
So gather moments while you may
Collect the dreams you dream today
…….. will you remember
The times of your life?

……….
Do you remember the times of your life?”

For me, as this weekend with family enters its last day and a half, the moments already created and those yet to come, I want to remember the laughter, the realization that we were all placed in the places we are now, because of the roads we have traveled. My wish is that everyone has those moments, those “TImes of Your Life”, that can play over and over again as the days become moments in our journey, little monuments or landscapes.

Until later, Mrs. Justa alias Cindy

 

Life lessons #2

We live in a fast-paced world. That can be good because of so many advancements that will happen in each of our lifetimes. And yet, it also can have its downfalls. I was writing a message in instant messenger to someone who lives fairly close to here. In it, we were exchanging thoughts, through words, but we had to reinterpret the words because, without the 3-dimensional life part, words need emotions at times. Words on paper ( or a computer screen} they do not give the whole picture at times, not when it is related to something in our lives.

If you ask someone how they are doing on the computer screen, and they say “great” or “okay”, we can interpret that as the meaning of the word. However in a true conversation, where you hear their response, the tone of the voice, do they look away, is there a glow of happiness when they say great? or is there a tone and lack of sparkle in their eyes. We do not see that, so even though we can communicate with many at the same time in the advanced world of technology….we should not let that replace the personal touch.

I am so guilty of this and am trying my darndest to remember this lesson. Mark and I were over at Jeff and Amanda’s home, the energy, the smiles, the sounds of the grandkids was really neat to be in the midst of it. The cuddles, the hugs, the can’t wait to sit next to me and get their back tickled… well that is something that no matter how fast life is going, one has to stop to spinning to enjoy those moments.

Do not get me wrong, I totally love the advancements and how we can reach people who we have met on the journey of life, however….. we need to also go beyond that and give personal times to one another.

I would rather have a child sing me a song, then google… I would rather hear their laughter then only ever see LOL. A real hug is so much nicer than a virtual hug, embracing all the “things” I need to get done. The virtual side of life, should always remain a side of life, and not become all of life.

I hope this week is filled with fun moments, laughter as the kids trick or treat… and that each day provides a time to reach out personally to someone, somewhere.

Until later….Mrs Justa-Krusen

 

 

 

Life’s too short

In life these days things seem to be more impersonal, at a time when maybe it feels like they are not. I have been giving this a lot of thought as I realize the days in my rearview mirror on my journey down life’s road are a whole lot more than the days yet to be traveled. There are things that must be important to me, as one evening I found myself writing things down that were being fed through me if that makes any sense. There are times in my life when I feel like I am the instrument to relay a thought, a poem, a song. I have a list of what I will refer to as some of life’s lessons, this list of “lessons” are words written down, joined together on paper and created in some of those times.

For today one of the thoughts is this.    20 minutes, 2 hours, 6 hours,8 hours or more is a lot closer then Heaven.

This thought is rather eye-opening to me, as there are so many times I am finding this to be true in life. Life becomes chaotic with STUFF. Busy things to do that really seem to get in the way of relationships. We can say a person lives too far away, we can have a good intention for stopping over to a person’s house or meeting them for coffee, but unless we react to the thought, the minutes turn into hours, into days, months and years.

In the blink of an eye that person / those people can be gone. Personally, I have experienced this, as many others have too. I hear people complaining that their parent(s) are annoying, or their grandparents being forgetful or hard to talk to, that their mom is so difficult to be around, or their dad is overpowering, or they live too far away, or “I just don’t have the time”.  Not making that call, not sending a personal card….

At 4 my grandmother died, and as I look back, out of all my relatives and friends that have died, I had the most involved relationship with her for the short years we had together. She lived with us, in an upper apartment in Bridgeport Conn. She was blind, so as a toddler, I was taught to always pick up things from the floor, do not move furniture from it’s set place, all to avoid her falling or tripping. I remember sitting on her lap as she “read” me a story. At the time there was just my sister Karen, Pam and me. My 2 older brothers did not live with us, they were off on their own. We would tell her what book it was, and we would turn the pages as she told the story from her memory of it.

My dad, he was a traveling salesman and the job required him to be gone most weekdays and nights. When he was home though, each moment was priceless to me. At the very young age of 10, I had one of the most traumatic losses in my life, my father died. Since he died there are so very many times I wished he was alive to guide me through life. My sister Karen was in nursing school at that time, and at home, well we had me, Pam and in addition younger sisters and 2 younger brothers. It was an incredible challenge in so many ways. I wish he had been there as my teenage years turned into young adulthood. And even though I have felt his presence, it is not like having his tough love, his insight. I never wished he had been home more, I accepted life was that way, I just wished I had more years of him being home when he could be.

My mom, she lived for 35 years after my dad died. And no matter how far or close I lived from her, there are times I saw her very infrequently. I regret that more then I can ever explain. She was a wise woman, quiet, offered advice when asked, but gave it sparingly unless she felt is absolutely necessary to say something. She would never ask for company to visit, yet she always had tea and chocolate chip cookies ready for those moments someone came over. I believe she was always prepared for visitors to come by, yet she had things she did when no one came.  She did volunteer work for local causes, she was a pen pal to those who were in life situations where they had little if no communication with the outside world. I guess I used my life situation to justify not taking that time out of my day to visit her more. Years later though, I wonder if she ever longed for that door to open?

My sister Pam, she died at the young age of 47. Alone in her townhouse, she had not felt well and whatever she had, it caused her death. I visited her only twice in her Ohio home.  It was really not too many months prior to her death. Both times were accompanied by another sister, we were on a mission to help Pam from a situation of hoarding. She was such a private person, she never ever indicated to me, in all the years she was there, that she was hoarding. When she reached out and asked for help, her voice had been desperate, and a plea. Something that I had never ever experienced from her. We talked briefly on the phone every week or so, but I never visited her there. She is gone, I can no longer look to make up for lost time.

Family, friends, events. I can not even begin to list those friends who have died, or who I have lost contact with, people who meant a lot to me. Life is filled with “I need to” call so and so, or visit so and so…. and not make them the action of “I am going to “?

Holidays, Sunday dinners, knocking on the door because you know there are open invitations… how many of these things do we totally put on the back burner? Oh, we can come up with a bunch of reasons, we do that, we justify our inactions by sounding like there are great reasons not to do something.

But that moment when you get that message, that phone call, read that obituary and realize that you have missed opportunities that will NEVER come to be. In my list of life’s lessons, the ones that appeared on paper from the pen I held as my hand moved to form the words…. well this is the first of many I have written down … more to follow.

 

Mrs Justa and the black hat..

What do you think when you see this hat?

Do you think of a certain type of man that would wear it?

Maybe a certain age of a man that would wear it?

Would you relate it to a man wearing a dress coat when he wore it?

Some may think of guys with dark shades- kind of like the blues brothers.

Some may think of  men in their 50s, maybe in executive type positions.

Well, a man walked in the restaurant we were at with 2 of our grandsons a few weeks ago. As soon as Preston saw this man – out of total excitement he whispered to me……”Gramma, a cowboy is in here. I see a cowboy!”A big ol’ smile on his face, eyes twinkling and smiling too….just like he  saw Santa Claus or something !

I told him quietly it was not a cowboy, it was a man with a black hat. The man sat at a table right behind ours, his back towards Preston- I watched the man carefully place his hat on the chair next to him, Preston still watched him quietly, as if waiting for magic to begin.

We proceeded to eat breakfast, and Preston had finished with the rest of us. He had gotten up to walk over by his brother.They were to get their coats on. Well lo and behold the man with the hat stood up next to Preston. Preston just looked straight up at this over 6 ft tall ,man in his late 60s. The man carefully placed the hat on his head…Preston looked in awe.

AS the man walked out of the restaurant, ever so quietly, I could just barely  hear him….… Preston started singing a song as he swayed back and forth , arms bent and swinging in front of him… “I wish I was a cowboy, I wish I was a cowboy……””””It was so innocent, so precious, he really felt he had seen a cowboy…

TO be that innocent…. Love to all, Mrs justa alias Cindy

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Mrs Justa and Family reunion part 2

After we came back from the first family reunion, which was my side of the family,3 weeks later  we went to a camp site North East of Lockport NY and had our family reunion with our kids and our kids kids.

This is the 2nd year we have done this and it is really nice to do it.

We can focus on one another and being less people it is a great way for the cousins to play together and our kids to spend time together.

Life is so darn short, life is so darn busy, we just do not get together enough. We were there for 2 full days, leaving on the third day in the morning. As I look back at the time I think I was most moved by just watching the interactions and realizing that all of this could not have been possible without Marks and my children. Adrianne and her kids came out on the 1st full day we were there for an afternoon and evening, her husband unfortunately was not feeling good and could not make it. She said maybe next year she will plan to camp the full time too… It was awesome to spend time with them.

The other part that was special to me was some one on one time I was able to spend with Emily. Emily is now 16 and being a teen is not easy ever, I think it is tougher in 2013 than it was when I was a teen. Emily is a smart young lady and she has a pretty good sense of humor. I just like spending time with her. That was special.

I also love time with our kids and their spouses, it is so neat to watch them interact, like they just saw each other the day before, we did miss Josh though. The time separated seems to disappear. And their kids – our grandkids are funny to watch. Jeff and Amanda’s kids are 3 and almost 5 and Adrianne and Josh’s kids are almost 2 and 4. So they go right up the totem pole of toddler ages. They walked around, they rode bikes, they watched as we tried to fly kites, they played until they dropped with exhaustion. The magic of the fire, the wonder of the sunset, the toasting of s’mores, the memories are priceless.

I feel blessed to have this opportunity and I look back at all the bumps in the road, the hills of life climbed, the slopes sometimes slipped on—they all led us to here. And ya know what— every tear, every smile, every wonder, every pray— it was all worth it.

Until the next post…. hang on to the blessings that come before you..watch for the simplest things that mean so much. Love to all, Mrs Justa alias Cindy

Technorati Tags: kids,grandkids,reunion,life,memories,changes,family,moments,cousins,smiles,s’mores,campfires

 

Mrs Justa and the 2013 family reunion post number 1

Well another year has past for our family reunion. I am from a family of 9 brothers and sisters, one sister has died and our parents are both deceased. We live in various parts of the country and we try really hard to get together. This year there were some of us, not all of us. This year we went back to the State Park my mom had chosen so many years ago. It was really not bad, we got heavy rain one evening, but the base of the fire was strong enough to withstand the rain and light up some more logs. It was neat to see the cousins spend time together. Wish my brothers who could not make it had… it was strange not to have them and their families there. We were missing some nieces and nephews and their kids….

We had no cell phone coverage, we had electric on the sites and public bathrooms. Some people tented, some had trailers, some hoteled it….  all seemed to have a good time.

As we entered the weekend and started to observe things, we came to realize there was a passing of the baton so to speak. When we started to go to this part- we were in our 30s and our kids were 7 . Now we are some  of the elders and our kids have kids of their own. Jeff and Amanda became the dinner site- we all gather together for dinner, a dish to pass and eat our meals, talk, laugh and end it with a nice campfire and s’mores and memories being created.

Adrianne has not been to a reunion for years- but I bet she would like to sometime in the future.. she had mentioned tenting it at some point with her family… and heck if they are more on the line of hotel people, there are some people who do stay in hotels. One year we rented a cabin off site and one year we rented a cabin in a town near by….—that is an option too,.….their kids will be a better age next year… hmmm….maybe they will come too.

The transition was subtle at first, but became more apparent as the clock ticked to 10 PM and Mark and I were headed to the camper to call it a night… leaving behind the 30 something year olds and the younger cousins. Yikes.. we were the “older relatives” who went to bed early…

The kids seemed to totally love the camping experience, and I have to admit I soaked in watching their smiles, there sense of adventure, and looking at how totally exhausted they got from being outdoors, from going “creeking” and from building sand castles.

I thought about all the electronic devices and the automation we have in our homes- and even though they are nice… … (as Mark says to the boys… _)

“this is living… it doesn’t get any better than this !”

And ya know what he is right!. Regardless of our various challenges in life,

Technorati Tags: camping,family reunion,life,changes,transition,memories,sisters,brothers,spouses,children.,rustic

regardless of our stressors our hectic sometimes lives… when we got here—the waters smoothed, the days were peaceful, the experience was something I am so glad we got to share…the only regrets are the people who could not be there…. but than again –we do have next year !!.

So I am off…. kinda chilling tonight…. reminiscing …feeling blessed. Love to all… Mrs Justa alias Cindy,

 

Mrs Justa and sunsets and full moons.

Well it has been a very long while since I popped over here to this home of my thoughts. Life seems to be a little chaotic, a lot busy and sometimes full of unpredictable things.

Work is good, it is never ever boring, and very fast pace. Changes within the government on healthcare reform, changes in medical treatments and advances in current treatments and medications, it is always an opportunity to learn more new stuff.

Mark and I will occasionally go to Oswego and watch the sun set. It is so darn peaceful up there, and a place to kind of put life in a temporary hold pattern. Sunsets and the time just before them is a favorite time of day for both of us.

It is a time when the world slowly changes yet I feel I can stop.

It is a time to reflect on the day passing behind us, and planning for the day that is yet to be.

It almost feels like no matter what happened- it is a closing of a chapter and an opportunity to start a new chapter- fresh.

It is a time to relax and know that the bed is not too many hours away.

My days are busy, I really love my job, and the people I work with are good people. So all that together makes an environment where a day is something to look forward to doing. Have you ever been in a situation you hated? Boy the day drags, the clock seems like a minute is an hour.

I am so thankful that I have the days that fly by!.However, as the days fly by, that means the years fly by.

Our grand children are growing fast, our little guy Brandon just had pre-k graduation! We were able to get to it, the school had it in the evening.  It was so cool to see how hard the class worked for this.They sang a variety of songs, choreographed, and one with even sign language too.

Wow next year kindergarten.

 

And this weekend our niece is graduating from high school. Gee whiz… time flies.

But fortunately as time flies, we learn lessons, we learn that things in life do not always have to matter, we learn that life is short, we learn that there is a reason for everything, sometimes it takes a lifetime to try to figure it out.

This weekend is the “Strawberry Moon” as it was referred to in the news article today. Tomorrow it is supposed to be the best night to see it. I can not wait. For somewhere in the child part of my brain, many many year ago, I found comfort in believing those who had died , those who meant something to me, that they could sit on the moon and watch over me. I refuse to let that comfort go. Tomorrow night- I will be watching the moon, waving to my mom, dad, sister and grandparents…. making loving faces to our dogs and cats…. and trying to capture the moment on film. I hope you too can see it….what ever it will look like. Lots of love to all, Mrs Justa alias Cindy

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Mrs Justa and an evening with smiles

Make your own pizza night. It was a fun evening, and really I was amazed how good the pizzas came out!.

I bought a mix for the pizza crust, it was the mix and 1/2 hot water..let it rise for 10 minutes and split it up and away we went.

The kids seemed to enjoy the tasks, but I am not sure if they enjoyed it more than we did LOL.

They each had left overs to bring home to share with mom and dad.

It is always so amazing how there are such changes in kids in a matter of weeks. Brandon does not take naps any more, so he went in for rest time . Preston is talking up a storm.

They both are very good together and can throw each other under the bus the next moment. But at the end of the day..they are brothers thru and thru.

I love listening to their laughs, and trying to work around their whines to turn them into laughs, and to watch them interact with one another.

I find it so hard to believe the now our grandkids are almost 5,4,3,2 . How the time flies.

This morning they were up at 7:00. They were hungry so we made frosted cinnamon rolls, small ones , to hold them over till mid morning. We ended the weekend visit with a mid morning brunch. Jeff and Amanda got here around 10:30, and we had an array of breakfast foods. Bacon, Sausage, French toast sticks, eggs scrambled, some cinnamon rolls and hash browns. And now… the house is quiet…. Riley is snoring quietly in the background in Preston’s bed…she loves when the kids are here, gets super excited when Jeff walks in—she becomes a hopping jumping overjoyed maniac when Jeff arrives..and we do have to warn Preston not to run..because he is just the right size –that Riley thinks he is a play mate and will run him over .

Yes I love the sounds of talking, laughter, squabbling, and giggles…. and when everyone is gone… and silence fills the house it reminds me that we are parents that have done our job , our kids are grown, they are all independent , and life turns to being us…. grandparents…. the silence is different… and deafening right after the people leave.

So off I go, so put way laundry, maybe go get grass seed, and maybe read a little. I think God for all we have… we are truly blessed. Love to all, Mrs Justa alias Cindy

Technorati Tags: pizza,life,smiles,whines,kids,growing up,grandparents,parents,changes,silence.