The nice thing about a new day dawning is we can start a new too.

We can not change yesterday and we have to focus on today and how the todays will affect our tomorrows and our yesterdays yet to be.

That is a pretty powerful opportunity we have.

What comes to mind is our actions, or things we might say. I truly believe that we need to (on the todays )…not say or do things… that when the today turns into yesterday… we will regret.

As the sun rises I feel like I have been dealt a new hand, maybe the design on the card has changed too.

I do find myself dragging along the yesterdays in my life… the things I can not walk backwards and change. Nope gotta look forward.

There is a woman… a very special woman who was a good friend of my siblings..she is much younger than I. She grew up for a part of her life, on the street we lived in. She is dealing with the sobering recent  news that her leukemia has come back. It was touching.. her brother wrote her on facebook something about how he was there for her… and he wished he ahd not gone to work when she came to visit recently… And she gave him encouragement… she did not regret he worked… she portrayed she understood.  She has the most positive attitude and outlook on life, as she is facing days of chemo, and the feelings that go along with the chemo… yet she is a ray of sunshine every time she interacts with others thru the social networks.

Every  day is a new day for her, and a way to start the newness with another positive thing to share. She is amazing…

So Deb… as you endure the chemo , as you are in your hospital be at Club MD ( as you so affectionately refer to it) I dedicate this to you. I pray for the doctors to have wisdom, for you to have strength, for medicine to keep you comfortable, and for time to be everything it needs to be for YOU. My love to all… please say a prayer for those who are dealing with sickness, surgeries, cancer, and losses….. Love Mrs Justa.. alias Cindy

100_6729I was thinking today of all the unusual things that happen to us as we live each day. As parents we have many things that happen, as pet owners more , growing up in a large family, having weird things happen in school, all the steppingstones in life, the list of funny times goes on and on..if we take time to remember ….and than working as a nurse has added more experiences.

I was talking to another nurse I work with and was reminded of a day when I was a float nurse. Now a float nurse does not have specific rooms on the medical floor that they are assigned to.. the float nurse helps anywhere , anyone needs help. We had rooms that went from room 23 to 42. All but 4 of the rooms had 2 beds in them. So floating had the chance for anything to happen.

AS the float , I offered to help the staff and do all the pts weights. I got to a room in the 30s and there was a man I had to weigh. I got him out of bed, the scale right next to his bed, and I would always stand close incase they felt wobbly as they stepped on the scale.

AS I am adjusting the weights on the scale, the man starts to sway. I am all alone in the room, the bed behind me, so I did a move that the incredible hulk doing ballet would be proud of, and somehow got the pt from the scale and gently onto his bed… the problem was the I was between his bed and him… so I ended up in his bed with him..

He regained consciousness as I was trying to get the loose legs of my scrubs out from under his back. I did scoot out, repositioned the man, called for help. grabbed vitals, and it was determined he was having a heart attack. So he was transferred to the cardiac critical care unit.

Once stabilized he would probably be back to our floor.. and – about 4 days later, I was the charge nurse, and he was being transferred back to our floor. As I peered over the charge nurse station , I saw him in the wheel chair. I think I did a slight smile, and acknowledged him being there, assuring we would get him to his room in a moment.  I remember this like it just happened… There were a lot of people around the charge desk, and all of the was like a light came on in his brain and the patient pointed at me and said with excitement…“ I know you, you were in my bed with me when I had my heart attack!” After the shock as the words sunk into my brain and all the of the looks of everyone around me, I said.. “Yes, it was me who helped you get back into your bed.. “
Was my face red !!!!…..

I am thankful for the memory.. still smiling about it !!.

Love to all.. Mrs Justa alias Cindy

Life… it is really a mystery in a way. We are here and than we are not. For some it may be only a breath and they are no longer here..for others over 100 years on earth.

My brother did a mind boggling blog one day

on the end.. and finished shed 014

and it has come back through my mind for this past month.

I look at the different scenarios in this world—people here—people gone.

The tragedy of us each being given the freedom of choice—only to make choices that end another’s life.

IN nursing school we worked and trained ion all areas of the hospital. When the training and working was  in peds or NICU- it made it tough to comprehend life and death. My training in Labor and Delivery was for the most part a feel good place to be… oh there were times when people may have not been so pleasant, or peoples lifestyles or lack of respect for life and prenatal care were very hard to comprehend- but in general that was the good side of the circle of life.

NICU could be good—sometimes hard to comprehend—why an infant is born to die moments or weeks later. There must be some good from it… I truly believe we are all on this earth for a purpose—now we may ignore the purpose set forth-and unfortunately other peoples choices may affect our purpose. In NICU I felt it was always special as there people are trained in caring for the tiniest of people. Peds..that rotation was tough for me…as the kids there are not visiting for a play date—they have something that needs acute care. I had a son and step daughter who were both 6 at the time , and it was too hard to separate them from the kids I was caring for. Now though—I think peds or NICU might be a good place to work, if I had to change jobs ever.sunset and finished shed 022

Than there was med surg. That floor was a passion of mine, a 50 yr old on the floor was the “kid” age ones- most pts were 60 and above. I made a pack with myself to never let a pt die alone. And to die with much as possible.  So at times there were tricky moments to be with the dying pt and care for all the others too. No patient I had ever went without, and I can remember a Christmas Eve where I stayed late to sit by the bedside and hum Christmas songs to a dying pt. I punched out on time..and than I became her visitor of sorts….. It was not the pay—it was the feeling like nursing was helping people in their most vulnerable times. When all their life is stripped from them and no matter if a person was a dignitary, a lawyer, or a street person—everyone had the same gown, the same nurses, and the same treatment  So nursing to me was a way to provide the care needed-but also appreciate the stressors of being out of their elements. Trying to make it the best experience for the situation at hand, And in the end,,,, when a pt died… I hope they went in peace .
Life is in our control yet out of our control.. we live here..than I truly believe we move onto a better place… eternal peace. We must always look for things to be thankful for—they are there—we need to take time to appreciate them. We need to appreciate life..for it is not around forever. We need to stop procrastinating and just do it..whatever it is….

A motto my mom taught us… along with  the golden rule…. is to treat each person as if this is your last encounter with them.. how do YOU want to be remembered when ( as my brother put it) The lights go out.  Love to all, Cindy alias Mrs Justa…

100_4300 Looking back on life. In the rear view mirror in my mind. Where I have been, where I am going. What is crowding the images in the rear view mirror?

Some things are current, like did I need to do a garden? It was fun watching the things become real, but it sucked the disappointment of the squash bores and tomato blit destroying my dream. And the sunflowers- whew they grew pretty tall, I had visions of pulling the seeds out of the flower and roasting them . But each time I checked they were not quite ready, then the next time I checked the birds has eaten them. So all in all, it was fun, interesting, but the harvest did not equal the labor.

Living in NY State. I have done that most of my life. But there is a whole world out there. I tended to want to be where the roots are from my life. I wonder if that was the right choice at times. We look at life and say if we had not done this, then that would not have happened, and I truly believe we are destined to be where we are. So I guess NY is not such a bad choice. Everywhere has good and bad points. In the rear view mirror I see all the different cities I have lived in. But if I had not done what I had done- there would not be Jeff, or Amanda, or Brandon. And I would not know Mark, Adrianne, Josh and Mackenzie. So I think I did make good decisions.

Professions- I think I was destined to be a nurse. However I can not say if I was destined to be in the business side of it. I love what I do, but I really think that the clinical side was even a better fit. Reasons brought me  into the business side, and I do not regret it… but each time I see a nurse in scrubs, a hospital floor, I feel the void for that type of work…  – it brings a warmth to my heart.

100_4044 Choices in life, paths I chose to take,  all crammed in my rear view mirror of life. I like where I am at in life, I guess that is a good thing. I can not imagine living and not liking where I ended up.

What is to the left, what is to the right. This is how life looks going forward. I want to watch each step, make sure before I take the path I feel confident in each step.

What is your next step? What do you see in the future?  Hopefully the rocks are firm as I proceed, I do not want to fall backwards. Go cautiously, go optimistically, and believe in yourself. Love to all, Mrs justa


Life has a way of turning onto paths we were not heading for. God has a way of telling us to slow down, when we know we should, but we are trying to ignore it.

Adrianne is the apple in Mark’s eye, he loves her to pieces, his “little girly” as he always has referred to her. She  is 30 weeks along in her pregnancy, and her life has just been shaken up and everything is landing in different places. It is time for white out on the calendar and changes of plans, for reflecting and trying to patiently wait for the weeks to pass, as she lays in her bed or on the couch, being an incubator for her baby girl, waiting and stopping the day to day activities. Her husband is a dream for her, he is her best friend, her lover, and is tending to her as best he can. She is truly blessed.

Adrianne is a real trooper, she has had times in her life when she was given lemons but she always came out with lemonade. She has worked hard for her Bachelors in psychology and in nursing and works 12 hour shifts as an RN . She was hoping to work right up till she delivered, but she knew she was getting pretty tired. So poof.. God stepped in and said it is time to rest my dear Adrianne… and rest she is doing. She is spending a majority of her time on her left side, reading, watching movies and tolerating as best she can the symptoms of pregnancy.

We were fortunate to be able to travel out to see her today. We did not stay a super long time, we did not want to tire her out, but we did stay long enough to have a wonderful visit. In all the trials, her smile will melt away the troubles. Today I dedicate my blog to her. And I ask everyone to keep her in your prayers, light a candle and take a moment to wish her good luck in these next 10 weeks.

We are here for ya kiddo !. Love to all, have a great Monday. Mrs justa… alias Cindy


Thousands of drops of dew anticipating the next move, feeding the blades of grass with the moisture that is needed, while knowing their journey will take them to other areas.

Life is like that. We can have a neat little plan in our minds, and we may fulfill needs of others along the way, but we really do not know the direction our journey will go in.

After reaching the ripe old age of 50, life looks different. Things are more unpredictable. Our bodies begin to show that  parts wear out. Our patience at times becomes less tolerant, we can feel like the drop on the blade of grass, not knowing if we will fall to the ground or take a smooth course to the next step.

Life after 50 is a time for much reflection, and probably for most, some questions , some  regrets. Why didn’t I do this or that, … or what if I had done this or that.                 

The “ What if ‘s” can drive us nuts. So I tend to go with more of a “this is it” and now where do I go type attitude.

I long to work in a clinical setting, wonder what would have happened had I never fallen at work so many years ago and trashed my knee, would I still be at the hospital?

Or what if I had not gotten sick and what if I had made it through college in 1971 and became the teacher I had planned to be, would I be a loved teacher or one kids could not wait to have the school year end.

I look at life this way, what has happened.. has happened, I can not change that. I am 55 and I know my life is on the downhill slide- I know I will not live to be 110.  Although, ya know, I would love to. The thought of one day no longer being here is mysterious, and hard to grasp. I am glad I love to sleep at night, cuz somewhere in my delusional mind I picture death as a sleep that one just does not come back from.

100_1103I love my family, my son is the ultimate best, his wife a charm and their son- well he brings such joy- I love my husband, he is kind and caring, I have a very special daughter through Mark, her husband is great- and they too will be having a baby soon, and I have terrific  brothers and sisters and all the families that are apart of their lives- I work with wonderful people in a company that cares for the employees-and I love where I life is not bad.  But it is drops of water on blades of grass- changes in directions, some move as planned, some drops fall,  some travel , some disappear.

I am going out to mow now—than water the garden , water the yard, … and live life some more, and thank God for every breath I have to breathe. Love to all, Cindy

I think these geese are practicing for their flight to the south. 100_0956 This has got to be just an exercise class and not the real thing. For when they decide to go down south, they are in the form of a “V”, and these guys were definitely missing the “V” form.

Maybe it was a try out for who the leader will be, kinda like this election preparation we are going through right now. Does this mismash of formation in these geese this not remind you of the back and forth we get from the media right now? Look at all the blasting of each candidate, the trying to make a fool out of Sarah Palen, The “talking heads” and their repetitive slants of how things are.

Yes these geese remind me of the lack of the USA knowing which way is up. Should I move my 401K to bonds? Should I invest differently, will  my savings be there in a month? What will gas cost next year? How much is propane going to cost to heat  my home? What will health care be like if Obahma wins? Will I still have a job? What kind of a job will Mark find once his comp saga is over? As the geese circle around trying to figure which end is up, so do we, as individuals and as a nation.

And ya know what is pathetic?? These geese will figure it out before we do!

My goal is to stay focused on what we can control. I personally am going to raise my 401 K contribution by 2 or 3%. Not a lot, but a little. If I can benefit from buying a few more shares now and in 20 yrs when I need it have a little more for us, heck it may be a smart move for us. Me, I am going to spread my nursing wings and head towards per diem clinical, so I have an option of another job, should I need one . I tried so hard to get thru nursing school. I can not give up that.

And I must continue the bike each night alternating with the treadmill, and pushups on the sink edge and waist twists and toe touches each morning. I focus on Mark and my grand baby, and my kids, their families and my siblings. Focus on my friends and what God directs me to do each day. I am thankful for the way we live, and hope that we as a nation will  not let the talking heads put us into chaos. Peace folks, deep breath all, and live each day the best way you can, conserve, soul search, and I will chat with you again real soon. Love Mrs Justa

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