Trusting In …..

We live life sometimes feeling like we know exactly the next step. Our alarm clock will go off, we will get up, we brush our teeth, do whatever routine in the morning we do, and move to the next part of our day. However when the alarm clock does not go off, or there is no water pressure, or maybe we fall out of bed instead of getting up the usual way, well it kinda puts our synched life out of order.

We trust everything will go as planned, and yet there are the things that don’t.

It gets even trickier when we take the next step, drive the car, reach for something, heck even getting something from a cupboard. Everything we do we trust will end the same way.

Now we can try to protect ourselves from areas where things can’t go wrong, but we become people in bubbles. Less can go wrong, but things happen.

I was thinking about trust and faith to extend beyond the simpler bullet points of a day. I was reminded in my thoughts of this day, this fall day when this never could have been, had life been kept inside the bubble. I took this at an angle to show the freedom, the joy of the moment. Jeff trusted he would get caught, and he loved the feeling of freedom. The look on his face, the total relaxation of his body, he trusted thigs will be okay, and without that trust, the picture would have been totally different- it might have been a terrified face and fingers clutching so tight to the neck of his dad- like please don’t make me do this. But no– he totally trusted and because of that experienced something way out of the ordinary.

As we get older and heavier, that opportunity – that specific scenario – could not be, or would probably not end in a laugh. However, as we age, inventors have created ways to get that feeling and beyond. I takes a lot more effort from the person achieving the liftoff, however, it needs to be accompanied by trust. Trust that the winds are right, trust your legs are ready for a rather fast run, trust the equipment was not faulty. If however, you have the trust, that sense of freedom can be yours. This person was on an elevated area, beyond the takeoff area was an incredible valley, miles of land colored with the brilliance of fall.

Life has been full of trusting, we trust in relationships, we trust in our day to day activities, our jobs, our everything……and yes we also trust we will be cleaning the bruises- whether inside or outside, and some scars that show the roadmap of my life. I want to always feel that feeling that life is going to be okay, that feeling I get every time I remember that fall day with Jeff. I never ever want to stop trusting that even when things don’t go quite as planned, the trust and faith are so important.

Until later,  Mrs Justa alias Cindy

 

 

Planning Sometimes Is Just That

As we go through life we plan for things. We plan for trips or places to live. We plan for futures, and we plan for retirement.

As I sat in a local diner tonight with my husband, our table was in the center. Around us were other table and booths lined the walls. It seemed to be mostly patrons who were well known, and who seemed to be much older then we are. It felt as if we were in a dinner theater in the round. With the play being skits of people lives. People came in and left, waitresses cleared the tables, kind of like at a play when the light get turned down, the curtain falls, and another scene comes to be.

I felt surrounded by people who probably had made plans for their lives, and probably health reasons and life setbacks, well they changed their plans. As one man had come in with his wife, he was trying to move into the booth, his left side was not coordinated and weak, so as he slid in it was like his right side was pushing the left side in. He said to her, can you believe this is how we ended up, as she tried to help him get situated. Plans can get washed away, or reshaped. We can endure or let them take control of us .

Couples here and there, obviously some with significant health challenges, none who appeared they could be north-south travelers. It made me wonder what does the future look like? No one knows. The best plans can be dissolved in a moments notice. I think we have to accept that just because we plan it to be a certain way, that does not mean it will be. The sun rises and sets, and we have no idea what is next.

As we went to leave, a man was walking out in front of us. He had been joking with the waitresses, he had a nonstressed face, he needed a cane, his stride was not fast, but gingerly. He told us he was 91, he came there every night for dinner, he said he lives alone. He loves to talk with the gals and seems to look forward to coming there. We complimented his outlook on life, and he said he lives life lightly, doesn’t have his head down, he looks up all the time. He did not talk about heartbreak, but I sure he has had some. He displayed a love for what life offers him a minute at a time. Appreciating each sunrise and sunset.

I think that is how we need to be. We can plan, and realize those plans can change in a heartbeat. It is hard enough to plan for the next few days or weeks, let alone the future of life.

Until later, Mrs Justa alias Cindy

 

Another Year In The Rear View Mirror

Today marks yet another year of life. The moments are but footprints, soon to be washed away, yet leaving impressions in our memory banks. A year of hopefully some positive that happened, a year for some filled with one or more life-changing moments, and a year that some may want to run out of as quickly as possible.

I have a friend who married a man that is her soul mate. I mean to the max. The love you see in their eyes when she talks about him- about them- in their interactions captured on photos, it has been a truly blessed year for her.

I have a friend, she is a soulmate friend, we think alike, we just know when the other needs a call, a text, a visit, we say the same things, .. well she and her husband retired. They totally changed their living situation, sold a home, bought a place in Florida and have a permanent park setting on a lake in Upstate New York… Part of her time south, part up here. Oh, they had some major bumps along the journey, but all in all, looking at their smiles and stress-free facial expressions, it has been a good year for them.

Mark’s and my year, whoa, we look in the rearview mirror of that, and it has been full. We started the year with a 6-month mania for Mark, the incredible changes in our lives during that time and the challenges for him to face the 4 1/2 months of climbing out of depression. I experienced changing my department at work in August due to my place of employment being acquired by a very large company and learning oh so many new things. It is a good thing, just a big change. We spent some fun rewarding times with the grandkids and spent some great times with family. We helped Marks mom as she transitioned from an apartment to an Assisted Living Environment. Yes, it has been a year.

I think about life, each breath, each step, each second is like a snowflake. By itself, it may not mean much, but add them together and it creates memories, it creates opportunities. And as quickly as a snowflake can melt, so can the moment be gone. I look back on the year and think of all the things different, of the few more aches that might be there at times, and I wonder what lies ahead.

I long to treasure each moment, to look for the good in everything, and to be the best I can be.  I am thankful for what has been and what is yet to come. I realize that life is full of changes, of hurt and of happiness. I feel blessed that I am aware of the presence of those who have passed on still being here for me in their subtle ways. I feel thankful to have been blessed with my husband, our kids, and our grandkids. I am thankful for my siblings and all the members of our family, my friends, the church I attend and thankful for living my life in the comfort of God.

As I look ahead, I do not know what each day will bring, but each breath I take, each step I make will be with the intent to be the best I can be for that moment.  The saying “moss won’t grow on a rolling stone” will continue to be a reminder to keep moving…  So as I end this year with this post, I wish all have time to reflect, to look ahead. Happy New Year. Until next year, Mrs Justa alias Cindy

 

Do It Right

I am kind of amazed at the attitude of some businesses, some employees, some people who do just enough to let a person know they exist, but not enough to be done to the full need. There are plenty of people who do things well, that attitude is not gone, it is just frustrating when it is the other way.

Today it just happened to be a dealer for Honda. But it does not start and stop there. I am sure you have experienced the same thing more often than not. We received a notice in the mail stating we need to call our dealer. It seems our car has a defect within the software that can cause gas to go into the oil.

Now a couple weeks ago, we actually had the car there for an oil change early because the oil did not look right and smelled like gasoline. The service folks said it was nothing to worry about and our VIN number was not listed, so basically away with you.

Well, Honda sees it differently and wants us to be aware that we need to get the vehicle in for the repair. So Mark calls there this morning, he asks for service, he is put on hold for God knows how long by the receptionist, as jolly Christmas music plays in the background. When the service department never picks up, the receptionist comes back on and tells him the service department is very busy, and can’t answer the phone, someone will call back.

4 1/2 hours later, Mark calls back…. again jolly Christmas music, and no one answers, and the receptionist comes back on again to say the service department is very busy, and can’t answer the phone, someone will call back. Mark says- “You said that 4 1/2 hrs ago” . She apologized and said someone will call, that the phones are busy because people are calling back because no one has called them.

No one has called back yet. I think if the company cared about the customers, someone could at least return a call to help to get an appointment scheduled. Or just to give an update on when we might expect a callback. But no, nothing. And this is supposed to be ok?

It seems there is a thought process that some people have, that so much effort is good enough, but to put only part effort in, no matter what it is, is not something to be proud of.

Briella did these puzzles, and she never gave up, she concentrated and gave them her all, you can see her self pride..

 

 

You can see it when the boys helped grandpa and cleared the deck of snow last winter.

It just makes you feel good to do something and do it well.             To do a task, and give it 100% attention, that is self-satisfying, it feels like a sense of accomplishment.

Life is like that, no matter what it is. Our interactions with others, our time by ourselves. Time with our youth, at work, in public or at home… we need to set examples and help others see how doing it fully-     (whatever “it” is)  is something we all should strive for. From the moment we wake up until we go to sleep, no matter what our actions, our task, our missions are, no matter the scenario, we need to be the best we can be. Driving, living, walking, doing… do it and do it well…

Okay, that is my thought for this moment in time.

Until later, Mrs. Justa alias Cindy

 

 

Interacting and Technology

So as I was making my weekly grocery list on a pad of real paper, with an actual pen, I was thinking- hey I could just go online, and order this all.. and …. nope— STOP…. I am going to continue to go out and shop for groceries. I enjoy seeing others, I enjoy making sure what we are buying is what we intended to buy, …

Well, this got me thinking… I think as the world continues to advance, to become more virtual, we have to remember to have real-life experiences. We need to interact with face to face, real life, and reach out and touch moments.

To see peoples face on face time is a great tool, because people can be in places you can not be, and have a conversation with them. However, doing face time with people that are just a few miles away, well I feel that going outside and seeing them might be the option to take.

We can now go to our computer, cell phone, tablet or probably talk in the air to “Alexa” or “Google” devices, give a list of things we need from the store, and have it delivered to our doorstep, or have someone waiting to load it in our car.

Instead of face to face, touch the items, one can buy virtually anything without going out and seeing it. And God forbid it not be what we expected from the image online we ordered it from. Instead, had we just gone to a local vendor, a store, a warehouse and seen it, felt it, looked it over, well then we know what we are buying.

Now everyone ( including me) can make all the excuses and reasons why this is so great. It keeps me away from germs of others, I do not need to deal with long lines, it gives me more time to fill up my day with a bunch of other stuff. Heck before we know it we have fit what used to be 36 hrs of actions in an 18 hr day.

We do not have to go to a movie- nope we can sit in the comfort of our home and watch the movie, stop it when we want, and put it back on after we pee, or grab a drink, or stretch, AND we can watch it in our jammies. Now I am not saying this is wrong, it does, however, take away the “going out to a move” experience. The smell of the popcorn, the darkness as you sit on seats in rows that are on an inclining floor.

There is nothing that replaces taking a trip to a planetarium. The music, the narrator, the feeling you are in a spaceship in orbit as they show us the universe, the night sky.

To show a child a firefly cupped in your hand, or to show them virtually via a YouTube image– well the magic is definitely in the first option.

 

Playing games, yes real hands-on , touch the pieces, not only hear the voice of your opponent but to see their eyes, to laugh in the same room, that is so much a component of that experience. Oh I know we can get games and our opponent is part of the game, we had this one game where we could choose the country and type of opponent we wanted. A man calling you “Chap” to a down-under voice teasing when they are about to whomp you. It, however, takes away the real socialization.

Virtual convenience is nice, however, we as adults, our kids, our grandkids, our friends, we also need to keep our social skills up, we need to take advantage of the value of being real- in real time… to be able to interact and not feel lost in the world.

We can in balance embrace the various incredible things that are available to us, things to make our life easier… yet we need to be aware of what is important at the end of the day, what is a need, what are we doing as a “cop-out” or because it is just less demanding of our time… and what is a want.

Thoughts to ponder…. Until later, Mrs Justa alias Cindy

 

 

 

 

 

So Nice To Spend Time Together

Well, the weekend is over and a new week begins. The dinner at Jeff and Amanda’s was the icing on the proverbial cake. It brought together Our kids , their spouses, and our kid’s kids. It happens too infrequently, it is nice when it does happen.

It brings to mind the importance of stopping for a bit. We have all gone in various directions in our lives, our grandchildren have different interests and our responsibilities keep us all going in different directions, that it is nice to stop and have all our various pathways intersect, our universes align.

At times there was more than one conversation, and the cousins laughing and having a great time, kids being kids. Life, I am so often reminded about life is what we make it to be. There are times and situations that we have no control over, and those times, well we do the best we can.

As we sat there conversing, sharing where we are in life, our days, our current events, experiences. it really is amazing all the experiences the grandchildren have had, that our kid’s families have had. Places they have been and plan to go. How each adult is very responsible, very respectable, they love one another and all love their kids immensely. As a parent ( grandparent) – I can not ask for anything more.

The 5 kids running, talking, laughing in the background took me back in time, memories of growing up in a house with 6 of kids, it brought a sense of comfort and many many memories. The sounds were what our house sounded like every single night, every weekend, every summer day and night whenever we were all in the house. It is the building blocks that create each of us. The noise of youth, noise that is there – no internet needed, no electronics, noise that is a sharing of each other. My mom would say she loved the sounds in the house, it was the sound of life. Oh at times she would get frustrated with the energy of the six of us I am sure.

When we went to bed, drifting off to sleep to the sound of the whistling tea kettle, we knew mom was getting ready  to unwind, to focus on her stuff, for she also she loved the quiet- a time she knew everyone was safe, comfortable and resting, charging up for another day of running, laughing, talking, creating and even a few arguments along the way.

It was nice to go back in time, and comforting to know that each of us is doing ok, in our own way, in our own lives. Until the next time we gather together, I will keep close the memories of today.

Until later, Mrs Justa alias Cindy

 

It is What’s Inside That Counts

This is a lesson in life that is learned and relearned and relearned again. As we grow up, we are impressed by and exposed to many people, places, events, and experiences. I remember many a time wishing I was more like another or thinking how come they have such and such, or they wear such and such.
The pressures of being feeling you are welcome or trying to be accepted, they can be overwhelming. In growing up that seemed important at times, and also seemed to not be a pathway I was on as far as it went with the “cool kids”.
I remember my mom on more than a few occasions reminding me that it is what is on the inside that counts. I may not be the best dressed, the prettiest, the richest, the most popular as I walk through life. Those things are not what is important. It is how you act, how sincere you are, how empathetic you are, how caring you are, how honest you are. Those are the qualities that make you a person others will want to know, those are the qualities of a true friend.
Material things seem to matter to many people, the best car, the most souped-up technologies, the fanciest name on the clothes … in the end- what really mattered was who we each are. Not what we have. The stores, the commercials, the internet is filled with so many THINGS to get that “special person to show them you care”. That does not show a person you care, spending time, listening, give and take conversations, that is how someone knows you care about them.

 

Have you ever known of a person who you thought was someone you wanted to know better until they opened their mouth and you realized they are extremely focused on themselves? Or wished for that certain something, only to find it was not worth the effort of getting it.

I knew a person once a LONGGG time ago who had to look in every reflection at himself. I kid you not, I think he liked when it was early morning or dusk because all the windows became mirrors.
There are so many things in life that if we determine it by its cover, by its appearance alone, we just might be focusing on something with no depth, without substance. Life is too short to be artificial.

As we raise our kids, as we mentor others, as we present ourselves to others, we need to remember it is not just what is seen, it is all those special things, it is what is beyond what is seen that matters. What can we share of us, not what can we buy, but what can we offer from our hearts to others?

Until later, Mrs Justa alias Cindy

 

 

Responsibility

 

Another day is dawning,  memories to be made, impressions to leave, moments unchangeable.

As the day begins, as the next step is about to happen, the next minute here among us, I am thinking about life and the effects we have on it.

 

RESPONSIBILITY:  We all are responsible for our actions. This goes for every single thing we do. We can not choose which things we do we are and are not responsible for. Nope, we own each thing we do.

That is a huge responsibility. Why, because sometimes the things we do, we don’t even realize or think about the end result, we get wrapped up in a moment or jump on the proverbial “bandwagon”. However, as we travel down the twists and turns of life’s journey,  and at the end of our road in life, it is us and us alone who individually made choices.

I say this because of many reasons, many reasons I myself have chosen to do things, and once they were done, well there was no rewind, no “gee I didn’t mean to be that way, or “I didn’t mean to do that” or “I didn’t mean to _______”.  The “I wish I had” thoughts do not count.

There have been things I have said, I can not take back. Actions I did, I can not undo. As a nurse, I have cared for patients who would say, “I knew better” or “If I only had never smoked” or “I took the chance ____”   Notice the similarity– “If I only had not or didn’t”

My parents would say to me when I did something I totally should not have, “You know better than that” or ” Bet you won’t do that again” or “what did you learn from that?”. And as I was growing up, she would wipe the wound ( physical or not) and guide me through the why’s and maybe even have suggestions on how to deal with that scenario in the future. They were preparing me for my future.

As we grow up we are still responsible for our actions. There are consequences to what is done, said, or ignored. If any of us are asked to do something and we say we will, if we then do it halfway, or not appropriately – if we take a risk, a dare—- we cannot go back and get those minutes to undo it.

In our roles in life, ( being a friend, an adult, a mentor, a stranger, a human being ) whether at work or in any environment around us, writing anything in social media, in an article,  we can not take it back. It paints a picture of us that can not be painted over, the “delete” does not remove words or photos or actions done.

Our reactions to something said or done, we can not undo that either. In life I have found to tread softly at times, to think before doing or saying, and to appreciate and take responsibility to every minute I am on this earth.

What image are we giving? What actions are we doing? What consequences because of those actions, or lack of actions are there? What image have I left?

Those are my thoughts this morning, something I will remember as I get ready for another day to be the best I can be.

Until later, Mrs Justa alias Cindy

 

 

Challenges or a Way Of Life

On any given day, I can look out the window and think “Oh look, the sun is up”…. period… But no- there is more… see beyond the noticing of the sunrise in the quiet of things in front of me was a glistening world of diamond-like sparkles. A cold crisp early morning gift, a gift that many may have not seen, a gift that can turn into a snowy plain ol day.

 

 

 

 

Yet, right there for all to see, a refreshing light show of sparkling colors.

It brought once again to mind thought about life. How when we are faced with things that seem monumental, we look at the proverbial mountain ( or in this case maybe a quick noticing the sun is rising) and we are overwhelmed at the tasks at hand at the end of a particular journey. Sometimes it is easier to dwell on that obstacle, which takes us longer to put it behind us.

Life can feel like it is hard at times, life is full of mountains to climb, sometimes valleys to drudge through. Plenty of times I have slipped on the proverbial mountain wandered off the proverbial path and had to retrace my steps, maybe find a slightly less challenging path to go on.

There was one person in my life that told me once she never had challenges in life. I remember thinking “heck let me share some with you” but I did not offer, and she never asked to take a few from me, so I have gone on in life realizing that at least for me, challenges exist, they can be heart wrenching, they can be touch and we conquer them one by one step at a time.

Photo by Alex Smith on Pexels.com

As I look back at this person who said this to me, as I came to know her a tad bit more many yrs ago, I now wonder- maybe just maybe she had the ability to look at those diamond-like crystals, and not just at that sunrise from afar. I think that because I truly believe we ALL face moments when life has tried to knock us down.

Maybe this person was able to anticipate but not look for that next roadblock or detour on her journey of life. If we know that challenges will lie ahead, but if we look at them as not roadblocks but the way the path takes us, then maybe we too can feel that life has been good, no matter what part of our journey we are on.

I, myself, and going to try to work on this. As I take each next step on this road of life, I will anticipate some bumps and hairpin curves, knowing the road will straighten up. To now look so far ahead, but to look at now and a few feet ahead. Not so much only living for today,, but planning for tomorrow and in those plans, the “challenges” will become part of the process.

OK, I am off to try this out, Until alter… Mrs Justa alias Cindy

 

 

 

 

“I Already Know”

I guess I never thought about this until I heard it a whole bunch of times in different settings this Thanksgiving weekend.

I saw myself doing it, and also heard it done to others. First, let me say all the social media outlets CAN BE wonderful when used as a means to give many “friends, family and acquaintances” the same bullet point information at one time. A way to create a page not yet colored in that person’s life.

Let’s say you graduated or had a baby or an exciting time at _______,  it is to share an extremely tough time or the passing of a person that you would never have known about, or a way to type in a verse or 2 about the loss you have endured. It is something, some time had it not been shared on f.b., twitter, or any of the others outlets to communicate.

It is a great way to share photos of a gathering many attended, or maybe that perfect moment you stumbled on. Those times when without sharing on social media, well it would never have been experienced in a very 2D way.

Looking at this picture- one that was probably on a facebook post, it shows a wedding, but without the personal touch, the conversation, the painting done with words, there is so much more that can fill in the outline of a “wedding”

If, however, someone starts face to face- or voice to voice on the phone- about something- well that is the beginning of an opportunity to converse. They want to make that 2D, quick blurb into a 3D moment. Voices, faces they add expression to the time they are referring to, or to the sad or happy moment captured and shared. That person wanted to put color into the social media bullet point. We ( and I can not count the times I did it) can stop the conversation, we can keep that moment just a bullet point in time, we can portrait we do not really care by interrupting- or making our first ( and often our last) response by saying ” Yeah , I already know” or “Yeah,I saw it on f.b.” .

Now if the same person starts the conversation and mentions they also had it on Facebook, ( or whatever media they put it on) we need to stop and listen. That conversation you are about to be blessed with, well it adds the personal component.

Or if you see that person, you could always start the conversation with that tidbit of their life they shared. An opportunity to bring a personal touch to a moment they shared on facebook. That can be a great time to show you care and want to hear more.

We will never ever know what we missed if we close that opportunity to have color added to social media bullet points if we stop the conversation before the colors fill in the moment in their life.

My mission for today and going forward is to let the other person not only bring up the topic but to let them take that outline, that bullet point, and add their words to it, their nonverbals, their feelings.

Until later, Mrs. Justa/ alias Cindy

 

The Hidden Inner Strength

I have read and seen movies reflecting back on the days of long ago. Days before people had the numerous opportunities that are available now to earn money. For many, that remains true to them today.

The thought becomes more real as life challenges face each of us. I see people on street corners holding signs asking for help, I see lines at food kitchens, all the agencies that help to feed people without.

It is hard for me to know how I would handle life if I had nothing left. I think there is an inner strength people get, a deep-rooted

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

, incredible strength. Look at your past or someone you know of, and when the rug got pulled out from under their feet, when the darkness filled the skies around them, did they find an inner strength.

 

Back in the days of my 19th year, I stood with a friend and held a cardboard sign with her, a time when her life was totally changed and she had nothing. I remember at those moments not feeling anything but strength and determination to help her get financial help for her personal needs. We felt gratitude to those who helped us out. Our goal was not to make this a new normal for her, but to get her some hope when hope was looking the other way.

I remember myself at times when we were growing up and we found strength in how we could make things the best they could be, in times when we had little. My mom never ever made us feel poor, she found ways instead to have us see what we had, not what we didn’t.

That first Christmas –  6 weeks after my dad passed away, mom came over to the table with a box of aluminum foil and gave us some pieces for us to make gifts for one another. We made each other ornaments, in shapes sometimes unidentifiable. But the pride of doing that was so much more then the sadness had she just said there was no money.

I am reminded of this as I see commercials after commercials with talking Amazon Boxes and Black Friday deals, and tonight I was thinking how much more effort was made with our pieces of silver, then the efforts made by buying something, just because you can.

May you find those special personal moments, create special memories in this hustle, the bustle of the holiday season. As you grab our keys, remember to grab change for the Red Kettles.

Until later, Mrs Justa alias Cindy

 

 

 

Thanksgiving

We have the day almost here. The one day a year we call Thanksgiving. To choose one day a year to be thankful seems not what it is about. To me, it is a time to enjoy times with some people that you might not normally see. It is a time to deep breathe and know that we have days of a little less sunlight coming, days preparing for however we go forward into December.

Thanksgiving has many meanings, and it is a time to reflect on all the blessings in life. The little things that are blessings. The breath taken, the snowflake falling softly, the warmth of a smile,  the ability to endure the challenges life has and the strength to find good in moments we experience. Life is like a forest, many things to experience, to see, we need to stop and absorb them, treasure them .

I am reminded often in life of this quote by Charles Dickens.    “Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.”– Charles Dickens

To me, it is a time to stop, to share moments talking with those you are sharing the holiday dinner with. A time to maybe sip a glass of wine, a time to laugh about days gone by, and to realize every single moment made us who we are right now. Every single moment is a gift, a blessing, not always promised to be happy times, yet still, a gift leading up to days to come.

May the day be a day to regroup thoughts, feelings, and appreciate what we have, who we have shared moments of life with, and look forward to the moments, people, and experiences yet to come.

MAy God Bless you, Until later, Mrs. Justa- alias  Cindy

 

 

Practice creates ……

I was thinking this past week about learning something new or doing something repetitively and what is the end result.

Last weekend, we had the Black Belt Ceremony I mentioned a few posts back. Those individuals did not just wake up one morning and poof could work in synchronization with a stage full of other, they couldn’t make those moves and stay focused just by thinking about it.

This thought surfaces a lot to me. Everywhere we go, what we see, our jobs, our walking, driving, interactions, those improve often by doing them over and over again. This becomes even deeper of a thought when we get into every day.

I was reminded the other day of our day to day life. While I was in a waiting room, I overheard a person say on her cell phone that she prefers to text people, and not have them call her. She said to the person on the phone something about being more comfortable communicating that way, she can put down what she wants without to SAY.

That comment she made, well it made me think about all the things we have at our fingertips to make life easier, to be able to move at a faster pace. Each thing has its benefits- however, they should not replace the more personal, hands-on, practicing talent, task, interactions or skill.

When I have been trained, and when I have trained others. The teaching included showing the pieces to the action being taught, having the other demonstrate the action/ talent/ skill being taught, and letting the trainee do it themselves over and over again, but having the steps checked until it is assured they know it more naturally. I currently am going through one of those teachings, showing and demonstrating times in my life. Learning a new role at work, listening, taking notes, seeing it done, and having the “baton” passed so I can demonstrate I am becoming more comfortable and confident in each step. As the days pass, and I look back a couple months, I realize how far I have come, yet am realistic at the journey ahead as more processes and steps are introduced and one day become something I am proficient at.

Even though life is like that, we need to make darn sure before we take the “easy” way, we have personally become comfortable in a more personal way. We need also to understand practice makes us more proficient. From learning how to walk, and being able to walk… to learning how to add, subtract, speak in an intellectual conversation, cook, doing a game, reading a book, the list is infinite.

Virtual meetings, training, communicating makes so much of life so much better. We can jot a thought in an instant message at 2AM, and the other person can get it whenever they are awake…  Yet, there is a fine line when we could realize that our personal relationships, our whole life has become virtual. If life gets to a point when we could move away, go to a different city, state, country, and our life would be the same, no one would even know we moved, that is a  message that we have not only taken advantage of the virtual life conveniences, we have let them take over us.

When was the last time you …. fill in the blank? And if the power was off / the internet down/ ( that list goes on and on too) … do you know how to improvise?

When was the last time you looked into a personal eyes and spoke – face to face? When was the last time you touched a deck of cards or held a book? Have you ever done a no electronics evening or weekend?

Even though the modern conveniences make life able to be more productive, more chaotic, more impersonal, we need to stop and not let it replace the 3D life we are blessed with. I would rather hold a child’s hand, then hold a cell phone and screen chat. I would rather sit at a table and play a game of ( the list is so long… ie: cards, Yahtzee, Scrabble, Sorry, Trouble….. and on and on) than to only ever play it on my electronic device.

Yes, the books on our electronic devices are great, and being able to do a 1000 piece puzzle and never worry about that one lost piece or someone messing it up… those are all great. I just do not to ever become so dependent on the “no touch” that it becomes me.

As this weekend begins, I am looking forward to what the day will bring, who will I personally see face to face? Who will I talk to and not type my words to? What will I do that is hands on? What will I remember more vividly because of those one to one moments? I am off to experience life and all there is in the minutes ahead.

Until later, Mrs Justa alias Cindy

 

 

 

 

 

Words and a memory

Continuing on the subject of words. I wanted to share a time from long ago.

We lived in Spafford NY in my first few yrs of elementary school. We had one car and my dad was a traveling salesman. So living FAR away from the school did not leave an option for our mom driving us.

It was a long bus ride, and it brings back fun and not so fun times. One thing was our last name became the laughing subject for the first few miles of each journey. We would no sooner get on the bus and certain kids would ask if we have Gaines Gravy Train for dinner and if we eat it dry in the morning. Their pals would wait for a reaction as they laughed at the words said and observed to see if they got a reaction.

We would tell mom about the trip, but what really could she do, but provide advice and call the bus garage. So her words of wisdom ( and I say that with the sincerest most meaning of the words) she said just stand tall, be proud and say back:  “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but names will never hurt me”

Well, I gotta tell ya, that had a nice ring to it, but really did not do anything to stop the name mocking. Nope just kinda fueled the laughter as people said things like “What was that can you say it again?” And me – in my proud Gaines Family fashion would repeat it.

What changed was Pam and I became able to hide the sadness and dislike, and that, and only that slowed down the mocking. It never totally went away because “Gaines Dog Food ” folks were coming up with cute adds and more products. We advanced to questions like “Did you have burgers last night… GAINES BURGERS?”

Yep, words can be powerful, and being I woke up this morning with the kid’s laughter running through my mind, I felt it needed to be shared.

Lesson learned from this, as a parent I was listening for mention from our kids, and if there was any hint of something like this happening to them, I worked to explain that when we react to words, we are giving strength to the people calling you a name. If you react, the others have found a way to annoy you. DO not react, as hard as that is, and their game is no longer anything more than solitaire. Their words come out and get lost in space.

As I move into today, I hope the day is good for you. Words can be so powerful.

Until later, Mrs Justa alias Cindy

 

Words

Words are very powerful. Words can inspire a person to go further, to try to find the next step, to get up the next day. Words from a child are so precious, words to a child can help to create thoughts and inspire them to explore, to learn.

Words in our lives, some flow through and we are unaffected by them. Others though, they are stopped in the heart, the soul, and can create wonderful things to happen.

Words are also very powerful, and once said, we can not take them back. We can not dash over and block them from being heard. My life’s lessons have taught me many things, little things and not so little. One of the messages embedded in my being is that it is so important to think before I speak ( or write).

Once I release a word or series of them, I can not retrieve them. And so it is also true that once words are said to another, that other person has them, and it is they who receive them and how they perceive the words are meant.

So as today begins, I am focusing on the words from me, and remembering that a word can be as soft as a fluffy pillow, or sharper than the sharpest knife, only owned by me until I release them. It is a lesson in life I truly believe some people have discarded, or ignored, and others have become proficient in the art or using words.

Think back for a moment, what words have been said to you, that are now saved in gold in your heart and mind.  As the day begins, as each next day of our lives go on, what words do we want to be remembered by someone else, for the rest of their lives? Words are a powerful tool.

Until the next post… Mrs Justa alias Cindy

 

Working Hard

In life every minute can be a challenge. We can waste each minute or take advantage of the gift of minutes we each have.

We have different abilities, different talents, sometimes talents lay dormant because we have not discovered them yet. In this world we live, it is easier to let the world take our moments in a pace paced chaos if we let it.

I am inspired and in awe at the events of yesterday/ and also last year around this time. Preston earned his 1st degree Black Belt and the ceremony was yesterday. Brandon was on the “demo” team, and also was a part of the ceremony. Brandon received his Black Belt last year.

Watching the kids as they have gone from a new karate student to this level is amazing. It is such a commitment, incredibly hard work, however, the work is a desire, and not a “just do it because I said so”.

Each and every candidate forBlack Belt knows it is not given to you. There are goals to achieve, endurance to demonstrate, and hours upon hours of being focused on the tasks, the life-changing things you learn and commit to.

The students have actions of respect that they need to follow. Respect for the studio, respect for the people in their lives, respect for themselves and for the experience of those who are above them in experience. Yet also a compassion to help those not yet at the level they are at.

Yesterday was an incredible ceremony, the demo team doing performances that display their ability to go beyond their previous Black Belt Level. The candidates, no matter what level of Black Belt they were going for, their group became one. You funnel all of the students together, from 8 to probably 60 yrs old, and it displays a Karate family. Not in words on a paper, but in their total respect for the leaders, for each other.

I was so glad to be a spectator of the event, to see this commitment, and it was weird but as I observed people in the audience ( and the auditorium was packed!!), not anyone took their eyes off the stage. The entire experience was amazing.

I remember last year when Sensei said to his class- the day of the Ceremony is a fun day, enjoy the acknowledgment of your hard work, the next day, it is looking forward to your next steps. Watching the participants at the gathering after, it was amazing how confident the trainers are, how welcoming everyone is with one another, how respectful they were. Even on the “fun” day, they never lost the skills of life they have learned and will continue to learn.

 

Yeah BUTTTTTTT

This seems to be more and more common in starting a sentence in a discussion. Maybe it is just my own experience, however, I think some might relate. For me, there is probably nothing more powerful than those 2 words to smother my thoughts and back off my conversation.

Oh, I am sure there are times when it is perfectly appropriate, and on the other side of the spectrum, often times it does harm to a conversation.

Picture the scenario, if you will… you are thinking about something to do, or you are sharing a thought on an event, or maybe talking about a feeling… you stop, anticipating some back and forth conversation. The other party, even without taking a millisecond to absorb what you just said, pops in with “Yeah BUT……” and they go on in the talk to not only discredit the thought you expressed, they totally change the subject or have 1 or more reasons why what you just said was not worthy of the time it took to say it.

It is more common with some people than others, however, some people have taken it as their new way to start every response.

A long time ago I had been taught pretty extensively on communication. I was a volunteer on an 800 toll free number for NY State Child Abuse Line. It was extremely important that whoever was calling they were being heard. It was a line, that in my experience on it, had more people calling in because they were frustrated with something in life, and our line became the next step to talk about what was going on.

Very seldom was it a call because someone was abusing a child, it was more a frustrated parent that tried to do something and their child was not really cooperating in successfully completing the task at hand. Or maybe an event happened- totally accidental. No matter what the call, we needed to be able to communicate and listen.

One thing we learned was when someone finishes talking, digest what was said and quietly take a deep breath before responding. This gives you time to process what was just said and cleanses your mind prior to responding .

My brother Don has communication skills mastered. He hears, he absorbs what is said, and he responds after hearing the others thoughts.  Because of that, he truly makes people feel worthy of the words spoken, of the thoughts shared.

See if someone pops right back with a response before the other’s words have totally left their mouth, or at the second the last word was said, well that person was not listening as the words were being spoken. So instead of listening, we are thinking of a response as the talker was talking. We learned to never start our response back with: “Why” as Why causes an immediate defensive response. A new training for communication needs to be, do not start your reply with “YEAH , but”   … so as today begins, I am going to carefully listen to my speaking, my responses, and make sure I am practicing good learning skills too.

I hope you each take a few moments for YOU today,  Until later, Mrs. Justa.. alias Cindy