100_3082 What do you say to a mom who has lost her youngest child in a car accident?

What do you say to his older sister?

And what to his dad?

What do you say to that child’s high school friends as they stand in the church looking lost, hollow , confused ?

I felt like my words were insignificant at a time like this. It matters not what caused the accident… that is a separate issue. What matters is these people , who are hurting so deeply, what can you say?

I went to a church this afternoon, I went to support a friend of mine. She is a neat person, she is smart at what she does, and she is always willing to help if I have a question. I know her from work, I have worked there for 8+ years, and she has never shunned me or treated me with anything but with respect. She has a great sense of humor, a smile that makes others smile right next to her and she loves her family.

And there she stood today, next to her daughter who is in her mid to late 20s, and her husband on the other side of their daughter. A casket lay on their right, and draped over it was a senior 2010 tee shirt with his name on it and the school name he went to. There were flowers, not overwhelming- because her families wishes were in lieu of flowers please send donations to the church. There was a continuous run on a TV screen  of digital shots of this young mans life filling the screen and taking us to private times in his life we would not have gone to with out this death.

Photos of him with his friends, learning as a toddler, from birth to now… Every segment of his life, some with his mom and that contagious smile of hers. And past the screen , a little way down into the church were poses for his senior picture on the casket. She has faith and realizes that it was not God that caused the accident, but her faith in God will get her through this.

I looked to my right, in the pews of the church and it was peppered with young adults, probably his age, all looking in disbelief, many reddened swollen eyes, all acting with the utmost respect for the church, for the family, for their friend who lay in that closed casket, all of them brought there by tragedy. I am sure it taught some a lesson about the dangers of cars- and the respect they deserve. One can only hope that when a tragedy is this  senseless that at least  someone learned something from it.

100_3787 We are given freedoms as we live on this earth, and when we take risks… well death can result. Having the knock on your door, and a couple police officers there to tell you your child is dead. It has to be the longest walk for those officers… and to be the one who answers that door… I can not fathom that pain, the what ifs, the whys and the void. And here she stood, she is a very petite woman, and she stood there with a glimpse of that smile I love to see, as she hugged people and thanked them for coming. All I could say as I hugged  her for a moment was I was so sorry for this terrible tragedy, and I just wish I could grab some of that pain and take it from her. I asked if she needed anything, her response was she could not believe everything we (our employer and individual employees) have done for her and her family. She can not wait to get back to work, and get her mind busy……

and as I left… my eyes welled with tears, as I thought that could be any of us… any of the parents in the world. Our kids just took chances and made it through. I am sure there must have been times when my own child took risks… I know as a young adult I did…

but this child… he was not so lucky.   Please, if you know any young drivers, young adults… plead that they not disrespect the power of a vehicle, the power of speed, the fragility of life. Peace to all, and prayers to my friend and her loved ones. Mrs Justa. alias Cindy