Progress… bits of progress.

Progress that causes one to look in the rear view mirror of life and remember the miles that are not so far in the past. Today as I was going up the stairs at the gym to leave ( it is only a short stairway of maybe 5 stairs) I had my gym bag over my shoulder, and 3 people walked down the stairs as I was going up them. And you say… “SO WHAT?” or maybe you are thinking “?Yeah what is your point?” Well living in the body of a “morbidly obese” person – there were times when if I  was going up or down the stairs, others waited for me to pass through. We could not fit together…  Tonight we shared the stairway- and that was with my gym bag.

Progress.. a moment of noticing progress…

I went to the dentist this morning for my every 4 month teeth cleaning.. and the chair felt bigger than it had last time I was there. And I could lean over to spit the mouth wash and water in the little spitting sink without feeling like my boobs were in the way… Heck before I would lean towards it, push in my chest, and still have to estimate the pressure behind my spitting the fluids- to try to aim it in the drain area.

Progress… a moment of WOW.. progress…

I was going to sit in an office at work, and the chair that pinched my ass… the chair that I had to remember to push down on  the arms when I went to stand up to leave.. or I would have been hunched over with a chair stuck on my butt as I went to leave…( can you imagine how embarrassing that would be getting up with the chair????….  well that chair was roomy.

Oh I have a LONG way to go…

no way am I close to where I want to be.. but I am 33 pounds closer… and 44.5 inches less of me towards my goal… I am doing it for me.. and to be the wife, the mom and grandma I have longed to be for a lifetime.

Man it is tough to loose weight? Anyone who has lived the life of a yo-yo— a life where there will be a few months of loosing weight and than years to follow with gaining it back and than taking on some extra… you understand.

 100_3199If you know of anyone who is thinner than fat… anyone who feels the needs to say something to a fat person informing them they are fat… guess what folks.. I think they know. And your comments will not help them turn things around, or figure out what works for them. I can attest to the fact that I know exactly what it feels like to feel I was the largest person in group of people… I can assure you more often than not.. I can remember times when I felt disgusted with myself…. ashamed of how I looked…still do…  and felt bad for the fact that I was a fat mom or wife… I know what it is like to not fit in a booth at a restaurant, or feel like the store will no longer carry a size that will fit, or worry about a chair collapsing… so for anyone going through fat times… my words are I understand…it does not have to be that way… my journey is far from over.. but I will share it with you from time to time.

Some wise person once , on some pep tape or seminar I had gone to, said “It takes 30 days to start a habit.. good or bad.”  Well I gotta tell you.. I miss when I do not go to the gym.. Can ya believe that?? And… I actually tolerated 20 minutes on the elliptical machine today and was not huffing and gasping like I just came out of a sand storm. Heck the first time I stepped on it- it was a joke.. 2 minutes tops… and I felt like I was in need of oxygen…  legs wobbly, feeling embarrassed… ashamed….

I asked my trainer tonight if it is okay to do the cardio every night. And how often should I do the weights ? he said that cardio every night is fine, change the speed and resistance, alternate the degree, and it is fine… the weight training- he advised 3 times a week. The formula is pretty basic,… watch the calories… become more active… ( a little at a time) ..and do not starve yourself- you defeat the intent. Keep a food log, an activity log… look for baby steps… not the end of your goal…

Each of us have  a point where we make a decision- Mark and I decided to go for the goals at the same time…we support each other, encourage each other and know what each is going through. We have an incredible support system with our kids, our friends and I am glad he is on the journey and doing so well too…  it was something I have prayed hard for..for a while… and we are doing it. We figure the journey will take a year , maybe a little more… but what is a year when it can give you so many more? BELIEVE, HAVE FAITH, Love to all, Mrs Justa..alias Cindy

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