Lessons in life continued…..

After living in that house in Skaneateles, my parents rented a home in Spafford. At the time my sister Karen was in high school and my sister Pam and I were in elementary school . I remember the bus ride from the house to Skaneateles to this house was about super long. In this picture there is a small window on the left of us, that was the bathroom window. I remember that bathroom window because I remember some mornings running into the bathroom and not coming out until I saw the bus go by. That did cause a tad bit of disappointment with my mom because we didn’t have a second car, and I chose to have to go to the bathroom on days when my dad was gone for work.

On most days mom was aware of my little urgent need for the bathroom. I really didn’t like school for so many reasons, but in the winter it was worse. It was a challenge some days to get to the bus in the winter. We got ALOT of snow, huge amounts. We had a long steep driveway, and in good weather it seemed like forever to a young child, but add a super slippery driveway and it got new meaning to challenging with all the snow. I look back now and realize that Spafford helped me learn to trust in things I had no control over. Let me explain.

This is the driveway now, it is the same steep driveway I remember, just the house is now updated a lot. So our bus driver would always pull to the foot of the driveway, turn on the blinkers and we were supposed to get down to the bus as quickly as possible. The bus driver realized we were having trouble when the driveway was super icy. Sometimes we would have a woman bus driver instead of the man I wasn’t too fond of, and she would have the bus aide and herself stand outside the bus, she would let us know when she was ready and one by one we would sit on our book bag, holding onto the sides of it really tightly, and slide down the driveway, hoping she would catch us, because if not we were going under the bus. Fortunately we didn’t have to do this on too many days, as sometimes we could carefully walk down on the very edge, but when the edge was not an option we totally trusted her, trusted that we would get caught. This is a blind faith, a trust in something I had no real control over, it was fun in a scary sort of way. Neither of us ever hit our heads on the bus, so it was a win win. Getting back up to the house after school was a different challenge, but we did it.

I also remember that this house taught me about being able to make the best use of the land, and canning. Being we didn’t have a 2nd car, my mom and dad put in a garden. it provided enough veggies for canning. Mom had a shelf in the cellar with canned vegetables, pickles, and tomato sauce and pasta sauce. It also was the house where my older sister, Pam and I carefully would walk down to Fesco’s farm and get fresh milk in rather heave aluminum containers that we had. I remember the milk very fresh, kinda warm…., it was how we got our milk.

I also learned that I could do what I felt was impossible. We weren’t allowed to ride down the long driveway for obvious reasons, but I learned to ride my bike on the grass in the back of the house. That was kind of tough keeping my balance on uneven grass, but I tried and tried, and mom and dad would encourage me not to give up, I learned I can do things I put my mind to. A lesson that has followed me through the years.

I also remember learning about obeying my parents when they told me to stay put. We had a dog whose name was Whitey. She was a large whitish collie, she was a really special dog. Very very protective of us as we played outside, and we tried to keep her tied up on a chain/ leash. Well this one day I remember dad asking where Whitey was, we all started calling her name, we went outside, and called her name. All of the sudden dad seemed like he heard something and he told us to go inside, and he got our neighbor, and started to walk down the road. I snuck outside, and leaned against our fence, watching curiously as my dad and Mr Call walked towards the road. From what I could see, they went to the side of the road, and I watched them lean over a white mound on the edge of the road. Our neighbor then pulled out his gun and shot at this mound. I realized it was Whitey he shot. I ran inside, screaming and crying, I couldn’t understand what happened. I also realize looking back that I really should have just listened to my dad and stayed in the house. The end result was our dog was dead, but I would not have seen all I saw. It was terrifying. When Dad came back to the house, he and Mr Call had Whitey in their arms. Dad said he was sorry I had to see that, and that was why he told us to go in the house. He told us that as we called Whiteys name, what he heard was the sounds from Whitey crying. Dad said someone hit her with their car and she was bleeding , she had lost a lot of blood, and they knew she was not able to get to the vet. To try to help us deal with it all, dad asked if any of us wanted to come out and see where we want to have her buried. I did go out, so did Pam and Karen, and we buried her under the tree she loved to lie under. We didn’t live in the house for too long after that, between the winters, the distance to school, having the one car and the walk along that road for milk, our parents found a rental in Skaneateles , in a different area than the first scary house. I will share that in a different post.

Life brings up so many lessons, some we don’t even realize what they are until years later. But each one, they help to create the adults we become. I think some of the things I learned in Spafford, faith in what I could not see me being able to accomplish, listening, obeying, trust, loss and attempting to redirect the sorrow…..I think they have helped me as the years have passed.

I hope you have some happy moments, create some pleasant memories, Until later, Mrs. Justa alias Cindy

 

Money, Wants, Needs, and Budgeting

I heard a commercial the other day on the radio. The “actors” on the commercial were supposed to be a husband and wife. The jest of the commercial was financial doom and gloom. The man was saying the mortgage was due, all their credit cards were maxed out, and they had no money for the bills they had. Well, the wife pops in with this sunshiney voice stating her relative just contacted a certain company after being in the same situation, and within moments this great lending company sent her relative $5000.00. Well, the husband is thrilled and the commercial ends as they are about to contact this lending company.

That commercial in itself really bothered me in so many ways. Firstly “all their credit cards maxed out” means they try to make minimum payments and with interest rates on credit cards being what they are, they will have a horrific time paying them off. On top of that they are adding yet another loan to the pile of huge debt, as I am sure this lender isn’t planning on just giving them 5 grand and forgetting it!.
The very next day, I am introduced to a pop-up ad for this incredible wallet, one that “will carry all your cards in one place”. LOOK AT THE NUMBER OF CARDS THEY HAVE, let alone the multiple $100.00 bills . This even fumed my frustration over the commercial trying to entice people with built-up debt on top of built-up debt, that it’s okay to get whatever you want cuz you want it, not because you need it.

I remember growing up, we did not have much money. Mom did her best to afford our necessities, and she could stretch a recipe to feed 7 people by adding rice or pasta to it. Chocolate chip cookies were a scavenger hunt to see who got a cookie with more than one chip. But we survived, we didn’t have the biggest, best things, we wore hand-me-down clothes, and we did not have huge expectations, but we had each other. She tried to teach us to live within our means.

As I grew up, and became a mom, then a single mother, I was so thankful for that upbringing. I did the best I could, I would tell Jeff when we went to the store that all the toys were there for him to touch, but leave them for other kids to touch too. He was okay with that. At Christmas time I would give him the Sears catalog to choose the one gift that was special to him. It wasn’t a punishment, it was a way to get to the next day. We didn’t travel a lot and when we did, we took a cooler, slept at people’s homes when possible, and enjoyed the scenery.

When Mark and I met, we didn’t make a lot of money, we each had a child, and they each learned how to have fun without all the expensive wants, and yes there were times when we had to decide which payee might be paid a week late. We made it through it. As years passed we realized that looking at the checking account or savings account before spending anything was not enough, we needed to name each dollar with a job. As he got into being an owner-operator, that became even more important.

“earnings“/ CC0 1.0

We started out using Excel and creating our own budget, but for the past decade or so we have utilized a budget plan created by people a lot smarter than us. Any money we have has a name. We budget for the upcoming expenses, estimating what the monthly bills will be, what groceries will be, etc. It is so much more comfortable to know we have planned for an upcoming bill, than it is to realize the money just spent should have been saved for the mortgage, groceries, electricity, a quarterly or annual bill, or whatever comes up.

I wish there was that type of education earlier in life, through the schools, so as we got into the financial world as young adults, that we understood the importance of money, saving, investing, and budgeting.

It infuriates me that advertisers try to get us to spend money on things that are foolish, or unnecessary. Oh I know that is how they sell things, by exposing people to various products, but there are so very many things that people don’t have the money for, so many things that can just be thrown on a credit card, and the seller is happy, yet one can end up at the end of the month like that ad I heard…. credit cards maxed, no money for bills.

My point for today is to not be swayed by the glitter, the newest gadgets, and the enticing “must haves”. Be wise, be careful, and appreciate every single dollar you have, let it work for you, not against you. Teach your children to save a portion of their allowances, their wages, and invest in something that can quietly build in the background as they age, so that when they are 60 or 70, they have financial security. Teach the difference between wants and needs. It is so very important.

Until later, Mrs Justa… alias Cindy

 

An Example of “Actions Speak Louder Then Words”

Continuing to reflect on things I learned in my younger years. I keep thinking about endless talking, and that when I was much younger- ( 5 1/2 yrs old) my parents would often tell me that I was talking a bit too much. I guess I talked until I was asleep. In fact mom used to tell me as a child she knew when I was sleeping because it got quiet.

That all changed after an incident when I was 5 1/2. I remember that house in Skaneateles, the big brick house with lousy water. Well the owner of the home arranged for repairing the well/water issue. It was very common to be able to just go out and play without a parent feeling like they had to be right out there. My mom was in the house with the my younger brothers and I think my sisters were inside too, I definitely don’t remember them out with me.

My “entertainment” outside was the “well man”. I remember it was kinda warm out and I was hanging out with him, thinking we were having a great time. I asked him questions, stood close by to watch, yeah I thought we were doing the stuff together. That was until he asked me if I could quiet down some, then he told me pretty strongly to stop talking.

Oh I would run off for a bit, but returned to see what he was doing. He had various equipment and I remember a 55 gallon drum filled with water too. To this day I am not sure the whole reason for the drum filled with water, but it was part of the well repair.

I ran back to the site he was at, and talking as I tended to do, and all of the sudden he grabbed me, he said he warned me for the last time, then he grabbed my ankles and submerged me upside down in the barrel of water. His intent was not to drown me, but to , I guess, stop my endless chatter. I remember opening my eyes, the water was cold and it was very dark in the barrel. I am sure it was for only a few seconds, but those seconds have left a memory that I am confident will never leave me.

As soon as he put me on the ground, my wet hair dangling in my tear-filled face, I ran like crazy to the house. Crying my eyes out, sobbing and scared. My mom heard me crying and came to the door as I entered the hallway, she asked me what happened, I told her that that man dunked me in the barrel of water. She asked me why, and I sobbed saying I talked too much.

She did go out and say something to him, but no words, no actions, could heal that moment from my mind. Often as I have grown up, people ask me to converse with them, people ask me what am I thinking, people want me to get in a long conversation, but it is something I just can not do. After that dunking, I really do not think I every rattled on again, not like before the dunking. And I left the man alone for the rest of the time too!

I don’t know why it keeps surfacing to the present in my mind but it does. Maybe by jotting it down, maybe that will help it seal itself up in a area in the back of my mind. Most recently it surfaced as I was singing some songs yesterday and the day before, and it made me think that songs bring out thoughts in my soul, they are words I can sing, words I can feel, and somehow way back in my subconscious, it is not talking all the time , as the words make the songs.

The posts on this blog give me a safe way to bring out words too. It is just strange how actions, once they are done, they can’t be taken back. And the result of an action can sometimes change a person for a short time, and sometimes for life.

One of the things I always try to remember, is an action, or a word said—once they are done, they are no longer able to be taken back. That man, he was wrong to do what he did, and his actions… well it saved many people from being exposed to my endless need to talk, but it also took away a part of me. I am sure he is no longer on this earth, and I often wonder if he felt bad after he did that, or if it even left any impression on him. I also wonder what my mom said to him.

Those things I will never know. What I do know is no matter how hard I try to have conversations, I just don’t talk a lot. And that is just how I am, so it is okay. I just had to jot it down, to remind me that actions are not retrievable…

Until later- take care, be kind, Mrs. Justa alias Cindy

 

Lesson Taught But Not Followed

Oh boy, I could hear my mom from heaven reminding me of a lesson she drilled into my head from toddlerhood on. And yet, even though I share the lesson with our grandchildren at times, there was recently a time I totally ignored it.

We had gone for a week at a Condo in Hancock Mass a couple of weeks ago. The weekend was wonderful, Jeff and Amanda and the kids came up. it was great fun. Sunday after they left for home, we stayed, unsure if we would be there for the entire week or not.

Well on Tuesday we decided to head home early. This was partially due to uncertainty of weather, as there were some predictions of icey nights Weds night to Thurs, and we had planned to leave either Weds or Thursday. I personally didn’t want to have a chance of going home on the mountain roads, if, in fact, we did get ice. ( Yes I am a weather worrier at times)

So Tuesday morning we packed up, knowing we were not being rushed out on a check-out day, and we headed home. We looked back through the rooms, the drawers, the cupboards, and the closets to ensure everything was packed and there were not any problems. All looked as good as when we arrived.

Off we went, we didn’t make coffee, figuring on the way home there would be a Dunkin along the way. Alas, I found the nearest Dunkin. and off we went. Google Maps definitely has a sense of humor, but we followed it exactly. Oh, we went over roads that were narrow, even parts not paved, yet in the end, we were at Dunkin in Schodack NY.

We ordered our coffee and sandwich and decided we would eat in the restaurant, then hit the restrooms before leaving. The staff there was amazingly friendly, and even commented on an essential oil fragrance they smelled that I had on. We joked a bit about that when the girl asked, “Do you have Patchouli essential oil fragrance on”. I had to think for a minute and said as a matter of fact I do. She called others over asking if they could smell it, they all said they loved the aroma of Patchouli.

We sat down, I draped my purse on the chair, we ate our sandwiches, and took off for home. HERE IS WHERE I totally did not follow one of my mom’s lessons in life.

We took off, Mark drove for a bit, and we switched west of Albany. As I was driving I was thinking about a State Police that went by. I looked over to Mark, and the floor around him, and asked ” Do you have my purse there or is it in the back?” ( now mind you my purse for traveling is a camera bag with my Nikkon Camera and my wallet in it). He looked and said, “There’s nothing here?” ” What did you do with it?”

PANIC set in, I could not remember bringing it out of the restaurant. I am running through the exit of the restaurant in my mind, and panicking. We pulled over at the ” text parking area”, and we looked everywhere, but no purse.

So we knew we had to turn back. Mark took over driving and I looked up the Dunkin in Schodack NY, but to no avail No one answered the phone. I tried 7 or 8 times. We were 45 minutes from there, and Mark remembered seeing a police station across the street, he said to try and call them. Mark tried to reassure me that they might go over to see if it was there. He was much calmer than I was for sure. So I went on Google Maps, saw there was one, and called them. It was a Town Police Station, a woman answered. I tried to be calm and explained that I believed I left my camera bag on the chair at the table, and that the camera bag also had my wallet in it. The lady first said, “Did you call Dunkin”. I said “Yes but they aren’t answering,” She said she would try, and if no answer would see if someone could go over and check. I still can remember the incredible anxiety I was feeling when I realized I left it there. I felt my body trembling inside, and I felt my eyes tearing. I felt angry with myself, I felt bad for the whole incident.

I was feeling really shaky and remembered a couple of years ago, in a devotion I read, it mentioned that if you are ever feeling out of control, anxious, lost, or unsure, just squeeze your right hand onto Jesus’s hand, he is there to help you, even if things aren’t turning out well, he helps give you strength to get through it. Well, I squeezed my hand tight around Jesus’s hand, it helped me get through this without screaming or crying.

We continued to head back towards Schodack, and about 10 minutes later the woman at the Police Station called back. She said to not speed, they had the camera bag, and the employees had tried to chase us when they saw it on the chair, but we were driving off. They had it in the back, hoping we would come back. They heard the phone ringing and wondered if it was us, but couldn’t answer the phone because the phone was in the office, which the manager locks when she is not there. She said the police chief actually was who went over to Dunkin and retrieved my camera bag. We asked her to thank him for us, and we thanked her. Then we went to Dunkin and ordered another cup of coffee, and thanked them over and over again!

Thank God it happened where it did, Thank God the employees were honest, Thank God Mark remembered there was a police station, Thank God the Chief was willing to go over there, and from now on Mom, ( I know you are watching me from heaven) I will remember the lesson you drilled in my head… it is ” whenever you are leaving anywhere, look back and make sure that you left it better then it was when you came into it, AND make sure you have all your things.”

This could have been sooooo bad, but it turned out okay. I hope to never have this happen again.

Until later, Mrs Justa alias Cindy….

 

Lessons in Life Learned At 5 yrs old

As I age with each breath I take, I seem to feel more grateful for the ones that have passed. I seem to think a lot about times in my past, and about how different times led to the next moment in my life. We can waste so much time on “Iffas”…if I/we had done this, if that had happened if I/we had chosen this or that, but “iffas” don’t do anything but waste the precious moments we have left in life.

We need to treasure our today and really appreciate our tomorrows. And yet, it is very okay to look back in the review mirror of life and remember the steps that led us to today.

This last year we took a ride into the southern tier of New York State. On our way back up we stopped at the 3 different houses we had lived at as I progressed from kindergarten to fourth grade.

All of them are different than years before, yet the memories of events and various times spent at each are mine and will never change. The first house will be my focus for today, it is now a medical office, so the driveway is a parking area.

The first one we rented in the summer before my kindergarten started. It was a very old home, from back in the days of the underground railroad. It was brick, built in the 1850s.

There was so much I remember about it. So many lessons learned.

One thing I remember was that it had a wide winding staircase, I remember the steps were kind of slippery if you had socks on. I remember my mom fell down the stairs one time. I learned not to take stairs for granted.

I also remember a second, very narrow staircase that was only seen if you opened what appeared to be a pantry-type door. When you got to the second floor, from the second floor there was another narrow staircase that led up to the cupola. I remember climbing those stairs and looking out the windows, seeing the whole town from on top of the house. From there I learned how really small we are when compared to the world around us. That there is so much more than what we see on a daily basis. It felt almost magical there.

I also remember a part of the wall going up the stairs, it was cut, and behind the wall was a secret room with a rocker in it and a small fireplace. There was a throw rug and under it was a trap-type door. That room was dark, and felt so lonely. There was supposedly a tunnel from that house down to the town that was part of the underground railroad. We were told to never go back into that room again.

I remember how terribly scared I was of going to kindergarten. See I had been used to being home with my mom. Never being exposed to daycare or nursery school, I was terrified of leaving home. There was a hill and some pine trees next to the driveway where I had to get the bus. The first few days I “missed” the bus because I hid behind the trees. The bus stopped but he never saw me there. I would go back to the house each time and tell my mom that the bus didn’t get me. Well, she called the bus garage complaining that the driver wasn’t stopping for me. That next day, I once again went down, unaware that Mom was watching, I hid behind the tree, but this time the bus stopped totally and sat there with blinking lights. All of the sudden my mom said “Cynthia, come on, you are getting on the bus” ….she walked me, as I cried in fear, to the bus door, and introduced me to the driver, and well that ended my little avoidance of leaving home. Going back and looking at that house again was like turning back time to that scared little girl, but also it taught me that new adventures don’t need to be scary.

I remember my first day in kindergarten, ( after I was caught hiding behind the tree) as soon as I got in the room I panicked. There were floor-to-ceiling type curtains by the big window, I ran to them, twirled myself up in them so tightly, and just cried and cried. My teacher, I’m pretty sure her name was Mrs Taylor, was so calming, and she worked with me patiently until I finally unwound myself and realized I was going to be okay. I know that the same shyness I had then is still embedded deep within my being. I fight it often, it’s so easy to let it control my emotions if I give into it. It creates a sense of uncertainty, and insecurity if I let it. But that kindergarten teacher helped me learn to overpower the shyness, and had I never gone through that, I don’t think I would have learned how to live with it, keeping it boxed up, and trying to stay stronger than it can be.

In kindergarten, my very first day, there was a boy who came up to me and told me it would be okay. This boy became my very best friend for the years we lived in the Skaneateles school district. Oh yes, we moved from one rental to another and a third in that time, but through it all, he was in my classes and my best friend. I remember we had play time for part of our time in class. At first, he saw I was really scared, and he told me we could just do something together, and that way I could feel better. So we played on the teeter-totter, each of us just focusing on the other. I remember how good it felt to laugh as my side went up in the air. I also remember laughing so hard that I started to pee, but as the little bit rolled down towards him, he gently got off and told me not to worry about it. He could have totally embarrassed me (more than I did myself), but he did not. It really helped me become comfortable with this whole school experience.

I learned lessons about helping out and hard work. See the well water was not safe to drink. The landlord was going to have the well reduced, but in the meantime, we needed fresh water. My dad was a traveling salesman and was gone during the week. My mom was caring for the 3 girls, and my brother Peter ( who was a toddler) and she was pregnant with my brother Tom. So to help out, my older sister Karen ( she was 15 at the time ), my sister Pam ( who was 6), and I ( at 5 years old) would carry gallon thermoses down to the Mobil station at the foot of the hill to get fresh water. It was something we needed to do, no whining, we did it. It was kind of fun too, cuz the water hose hung from the ceiling in the garage bay area, and to get the water to come out, we had to bend the end of the hose, I usually got it right on, but a few times I came back wetter then I was when I went down there. The men at the garage were very nice to us and did not mind at all when we came. I must admit though we were thankful once the well was fixed.

Through our first couple of years there, I really believe some foundation for the rest of my life was built. The exposure to a new world, outside of my family, what it was like to have a real friend, that there is nothing wrong with hard work, that there are no free rides and that life is full of surprises.

Yes, this house and the couple years we were there created life lessons and memories that live strong in me.

Until the next post, Mrs. Justa alias Cindy

 

Time Waits For No One

As we continue life day by day, it is ever more apparent to me that life is precious. We have no guarantees that we will see the next day, week, month, or year. I was looking at a photo from a very long time ago. It is a photo of me and my siblings, well one of them wasn’t physically there so we held up his picture, for in spirit he was standing there with us.

What stands out to me more today than it did in years past, is that not one, or two, but 3 of my siblings and our mom have passed. So to take this photo again there would be me, in the front row alone…and in the back row from left to right, Martha, Chuck, Melanie, Peter would be really in it, and Tom would be in it. Karen ( in the sleeveless sundress and Don on the far right, would not). As I look at this, it brings me comfort for every single precious moment I have shared with each of them, and yet sad to know the precious moments now are in memories and in the sense they are watching over me at times.

An example of them living in my memory is whenever I fold corner sheets. Karen and her husband were visiting one Thanksgiving, and we had the 3 grandchildren over for the night too. Friday after the grandkids had gone home, I was putting beds away, and folding the sheets. Karen was next to me, and I just folded the corner sheet, she laughed out of amazement and said “Teach me how to do that !” I asked her to do what? She said, “How do you neatly fold a corner sheet ?” So I unfolded it and demonstrated the method, she was so thrilled she wanted to fold any corner sheet that was left. A couple days later we all went to Jeff and Amanda’s for dinner. Karen out of the blue, with a big old smile on her face asked Jeff and Amanda where their linen closet was, she wanted to show them what she had learned. Proudly Karen got one of Amanda’s already folded corner sheets, she unfolded it, and very accurately folded it so you couldn’t tell it was a corner sheet. Karen’s laugh was contagious, her smile I think circled her entire face as her eyes lit up with joy and such a love of life. So yes she’s passed away, but things like that live on.

For each of the siblings that have passed away, I have so many special memories. So many lessons my mom instilled in us. Even my dad who passed away LONG before this picture was taken, he lives on in me. I remember holding his hand, it felt so comforting, I felt safe. A simple thing like holding a hand can create a loving memory that lives on long after we have passed away.

Each day, each encounter we have with people we know well, and some we know casually, and some it may be a quick encounter as you walk by one another or maybe hold a door for someone, each minute each breath we take is one more blessed opportunity to treasure the moment and make or get a memory.

This past week Mark was taking a nap and I had just left for a hair appointment. When he got up from his nap I wasn’t home yet. He explained how very unusual, how almost weird it was to walk out of the bedroom and I wasn’t there. Being that one part of what was a couple.

We talk about life and try to plan for different scenarios, and one is trying to plan the future if one of us has passed on. How would our next day be, how would it affect our day-to-day life, where would we live, and how would our budget need to be recalculated, have we carefully provided the necessary people with all aspects of our life, we even prepaid for the funeral home so that isn’t something they need to worry about. How life would be as one. Some might think this is weird or not necessary, or maybe that we shouldn’t talk about death… but it is a fact of life and the loss of a loved one is hard enough, why not try to make some of it easier. Oh, we don’t dwell on not living, we just realize it is a part of life.

I have seen many times when a death happens, and people are beyond lost. It is natural to feel like the world has changed forever, I remember wishing I had just one more hug, one more moment, I just want the world to stop turning for a minute so I could get my bearings. I remember thinking I wish I had spent more time with that friend or family member. But there isn’t a way to go back and change that. Now is the time to take those moments.

So as you step the next step, as you breathe the next breath, remember how precious life is. You don’t have to be wealthy to enjoy life, money doesn’t buy us one extra moment, but each moment is a blessing yet to be had. As I look out the window I see seagulls flying over the river, an eagle soaring up high in the sky, and the leaves on the trees waving back and forth, it is so peaceful, and they are there for anyone to see, enjoy, and treasure…

As I go off to grab some laundry from the dryer and take a walk to a path by the river, my wish for you is that you take time to appreciate those in your life, and the beauty of life. Life isn’t always easy, but life is a blessing, each moment a gift. There is so very much around us no matter where we live. We just have to stop and see it.

Thanks for stopping by.

Until later, Mrs Justa ( alias Cindy)

 

Downsizing- Moving On In Years

These last 2 plus months have been interesting in so very many ways. For the past few years, Mark and I have had numerous talks about life and the end of life. One moment you are a couple, and the next you are a widow/widower. It happens like a light switch, married/ alone.

As we had our discussions, we also looked at our home, our life, and our tasks of being a homeowner. Do we “age in place” or do we sell the home and move somewhere else? The conversations went in all sorts of directions, but the base of each was we didn’t want to leave one of us left with a house on an acre, in a snowbelt area of New York, and have the broken-hearted one trying to figure out the next steps, along with having the incredible task of upkeeping the property as you figured out what next.

We hadn’t made any distinct choices yet as to what to do, but I kept looking at my 500 record albums that have been moved and lugged quite a few times. After some personal serious soul-searching on my own, I made a decision to look at my record collection. That record collection brought me through my early teens, through school, relationships, and happy and not-so-happy times, and here I am thinking, what would happen to those records that meant so much to me, when I die? The records meant something to me, and really so many moments and memories were memories to only me, so I went on a search for someone who would appreciate them. Mark asked me a bunch of times if I was sure I wanted to part with them, but I knew it was the right thing to do.

I found a man in East Syracuse who runs a record shop, he had very positive reviews from various customers so I called him. He was really excited to meet us and the albums, he went through each album, and commented on some like they were an old friend to him too. He really appreciated the various albums I had. I felt like it was the right time and the right thing to do. Instead of a dumpster, they are with someone who will help them live on.

After the records were gone, we continued to talk more about life, the future and what did we want. We went back and forth with various thoughts..did we want to keep the house, and travel in the colder months? Did we want to move out of state? Or did we want to sell the house and stay local? It was towards the end of April we took a giant step. We decided to take a chance and talk to a real estate agent. She came over, she was amazing, she LOVED our house and felt it would be loved by others seeing it. So we quickly followed hints of taking personal stuff down from the walls, (pictures of us and family) and we moved pictures around that were more general.

The house was shown for 2 days, and each person wanted a chance at buying it. Within a week, we signed papers and the downsizing began in full force. Our son and his wife and kids came over and helped take away some larger things from our garage, and some exercise equipment, they helped out a huge amount! They were able to utilize some of the things and sell some of them.

Mark and I were making a number of daily trips to Thrifty Shopper ( Rescue Missions Store) and donating items. And in between we started a mission for finding an apartment. So many were unavailable or available in 2 months. We found one, every single thing fell into place. We were able to rent the apartment mid-month, so we could move boxes of things into it before our scheduled move at the end of May. We rented a U-Haul van for a day and we loaded boxes in that. We loaded our Honda CRV with boxes, unloaded them at the apartment, and made another trip. In 2 wks we had put 1100 miles on our car and we had the ability to organize the apartment in steps instead of one moving day.

For us it made sense. We love the apartment and the fact that you can turn the key and not worry about when the lawn needs to be mowed, weeding the mulch, or shoveling the mounds of snow. Some people say they will never leave their homes, and that is okay, but at least for us, when one of us passes, the other won’t have a home to deal with.

I am thankful every day when a new day begins, God is good, life is good, even when there are trials. I have faith that everything happens for a reason, we may not understand the whys, but there are reasons we may see much later in life. This apartment just happened to become available right when we needed it, the new owners of our home ( I understand from our real estate agent) are super excited with the house, it all fits together.

So treasure each moment, for each breath, as each moment is a blessing. You never ever know when that moment is the last.

Until later, Mrs Justa alias Cindy

 

Remembering March 8th and 9th 1982

41 years ago today, I was standing in our dining room, ready to start a new chapter in life. I was to go into Canandaigua Hospital and have our son. I remember it was snowing out, cold and windy….

I was nervous, I knew not exactly what to expect, but it was so very exciting at the same time.

And after about 30 1/2 hrs, our precious son was born.

For so many many years, waking up each morning brought such a feeling of excitement, as I would be looking forward to what the next day would bring and feeling so blessed for yet another day of being his mom.

As I remember the days and months leading up to this special time in my life, I realize that every twist and turn, every second of every day, created the path that led me to that time in my life.

It’s such a blessing when I think about even though we have no idea what God has planned for us, God has the entire blueprint laid out.

There are so many times when things happen, and at the time, we may not have any idea why they happened the way they did, but as we continue down the road of life…if we take time to look in the rearview mirror, we can see how things line up.

The heartbreaks, the smiles, the hurts, the losses, the still times, the crazy times, the tragedies, the blessings…..

All the minutes, all the turns, led me to motherhood, and I feel so very lucky.

So the anticipated March 8th day of birth was extended to March 9th, 1982. Yeah I guess he wanted to take his time being born, and after hours of labor and a slowing fetal heart rate, he was born via c section.

It’s funny because it seemed like forever to get from finding out I was pregnant until the actual delivery of him. I really loved being pregnant, I never complained about it, and I did try not to have it affect my moods. I remember the harder it was to go up and down the stairs, and also how I needed to take naps.. ( and I am not a nap person.)

Being a stay-at-home mom for a few years, I was able to watch the wonders of every exciting minute he changed, as he became more aware of words being said to him.

I would lean towards him and say different words, or sing songs, and he would just smile and try to talk back to me.

He was very curious about different sounds, and he totally loved Neil Diamond’s music when I played an album. We have traveled the journey of many miles, and with each step tough as they may have been at times, he was my sunshine …

In life, I think we can get so busy that it can be difficult to stop and enjoy special moments, these times were priceless to me.

I look back over the highways of life so often, not to reflect on the negatives, but to reflect on the entire picture. Knowing that the road in the rearview mirror is much longer than the road still yet to travel, I think I appreciate every step even more.

Being a mom, well that has been the best. Being a wife to Mark has been a blessing beyond what words can ever explain. Being a friend to some very special people, being a sister, a daughter, and being a grandmother, well each of these are so very special.

There are so many things in my mind that I want to get onto paper while my mind still will let me remember them. yet it is difficult to get the words on paper as fast as they float around. So I hope to get more posted in days, weeks and months to come.

Today though as the day is ending, I am reflecting on the long journey from that hospital admission, to finally meeting this little guy on March 9th…. I remember how strange it was just a day later… we went from a snowy March 8th, to almost spring-like weather a day later… the warmth of bringing this little blessing into the world, a little being who was going to make so many people’s lives a little better because of him…..41 years later… he is as much of a blessing now as he was back then.

So as I end this for tonight, as I am getting ready to end another day, I thank God for so much,

Until later, Mrs Justa alias Cindy

 

Special Time with Family

These past couple of weeks have brought so many great memories, times of comfort, and many smiles. Our journey began on the weekend before Halloween and continued through election day. To start off with, we went to the Berkshire Mountains and rented a condo that could take up to 8 people. Jeff and Amanda and their kids were able to join us for the weekend. The condo was at the base of a ski resort. Fall colors were dwindling, but the environment was so calming and peaceful. The weather was perfect and the scenery breathtaking. We were able to watch the sun setting over the mountains, the kids got to do a little trick or treating, and we enjoyed the outdoors and some of the amenities offered at the facility. It was definitely a very enjoyable few days

We had lots of time together, and also went off for a few hours on Saturday- they went and hiked upward on a mountain, and we opted to drive up a different mountain and walk once we were at the top. We knew a hike up a mountain was in the more youthful days of our lives, a time that has since past. Heck they would probably still be waiting for us. LOL

We love spending time with all of them, so this was super special. This weekend gave us time to carve out the day-to-day activities and responsibilities and let us just be with them, such a special family. It was a great beginning for the next week and a half. A time that was filled with reminders about how special family is. There is a history that is unique in each family, there are times of sorrow and joy, and through them all, I believe that family is the glue that holds life together.

We came home a couple days early from Massachusettes before heading to Michigan. We did some stuff around the house, and unpacked, to pack again. The next part of our journey was to head to Michigan for my brother Don’s 90th birthday weekend. We were very lucky with the weather on that journey too. We got to see some of our family from Michigan. We do try to get to Michigan a couple times a year, and this was a special time for sure.

My family is large, there initially are 9 children, 3 of whom my father had with his first wife. She passed away, and a few years later, he and my mother had 6 more children. So needless to say, there is quite an age span. My oldest brother is 31 years older than the youngest of my siblings. So to be able to spend time with some family members over the course of 1 1/2 weeks was great.

Don has always been very special to me. He has been a beacon in the night for me on many steps along my journey of life. It is so refreshing that his family has never lost the “family” part of being a family. Sunday dinners are shared with Don and Sally and their 3 adult children, and their spouses. Dave and Vicki’s children now live away from them, so it’s not easy to make Sunday dinners all the time. They gather weekly, they stay in touch with one another, and they all are unique in their own ways. Family dinners bring conversation and laughter, and what I really love is that they are a real family. The world seems filled with political and moral attacks that have torn relationships and family units apart. Families can be torn apart by so many factors, and yet this family stays together, silently they have their beliefs in the political arena, and in moral thoughts too, yet they respect that each is an individual and it need not be a discussion or an attack. I wish everywhere was like that.

On Saturday we were able to share time with not only the Michigan group, but also my sister Melanie and her better half Dan came from Liverpool, and Lynda ( one of our nieces) came in from Rhode Island. Plus our great niece Natalie and her brother Leighton were there too. It was great to see everyone. Lynda was able to get her dad Chuck (another of our brothers) on the phone and they did face time on Saturday. It was so touching to see them talk on the phone, face to face from so many miles away. Chuck is a few years younger than Don, he lives in Arizona, so they don’t see each other. It was really emotional to see their love travel through the screen of the phone. Chuck asks Don ” How did you get to be 90?” and Don laughing and saying “Hey you are almost 90 too!” As they talked, it was so neat how they sounded alike.

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On Sunday we got to spend another special family dinner time, and this time our niece Amy, her brother ( our nephew) Felix, and Amy’s husband Greg, shared the time with us. Amy and Felix are 2 of the 5 children my sister Karen had. We do not see them often, and it was nice to spend time with them. There were times when Amy laughed and it reminded me of when she was much younger. Her husband Greg loves her immensely, it is apparent all the time. Felix has a smile that is contagious, and it was a nice time spending some of Sunday with them

Each gathering was special, each gathering filled with laughter, discussions, and delicious food. Don was sung to twice, and even sang along “Happy Birthday to ME” as everyone sang “Happy birthday to you”

On our way home we stopped for the night in Niagara Falls. It was a perfect ending to a perfect couple of weeks. It was a cold night, but absolutely beautiful.

Journeys such as these are so fulfilling in so many ways. As I sat back and looked around the room, I had flashbacks of times gone by, times never ever able to repeat. So many moments have flown by as the clock of life clicks on.

It is always nice to get home, to regroup, to recharge before the next journey comes to reality.

I hope I never lose the ability to realize that each morning I awaken, well it is another blessing. And there is so much to be thankful for.

Until Later, Mrs Justa alias Cindy

 

An Important Reminder of My Journey

From Teenage to Retirement

I was warm-heartedly reminded yesterday of a long section of my life’s journey. Life is what you make of it. Oh, it has sad times, heart-wrenching times, tough times, challenges, successes, trials, losses, and wins..but no matter what happens in life, it is how we handle it.

Yesterday was my 69th birthday, and it is hard to believe I am 69 yrs old. As the day progressed, on my Facebook page I received special birthday greetings, each one from someone who I have laughed with, talked with, shared special moments with, and created memories with. I received some calls, and texts from family and friends. This photo represents some of the stops along the journey where some of these people shared the same path on our journeys of life. In addition to these road signs, there are places I lived, family, and the church I attend not represented in this photo, but they are all a part of my life journey.

I can’t even begin to explain the heart-warming this brought- family, teachers, my Pastor, mentors, co-workers, neighbors, and friends, all are people who truly mean something to me, people who helped me be who I am. And I guess I felt this because it opened so many memories of times that I have shared with each of these people. Ya kind of know those times are there, but it’s like they are in the back vault of my mind at times. And seeing the people’s comments, that they took a moment to say Hi, well it unlocked the vault and reminded me of all the stops along the journey of life.

No matter where I worked, or who I shared time with, I was remembering the love of working in various roles in nursing, remembering various experiences in life: and in each moment I made it a point to make it the best each and every day. Yes, remembering what we’ve shared brings a smile to my heart. No matter what acquaintances I have, I can look back and remember times at school, times at various places of employment, times of hard work, times when I was a stay-at-home mom, times shared with others at church, and through all the various memories there were sometimes challenges, times of fun, comfort, tears, and smiles. And in the solitude, I really have no regrets.

So I dedicate this post to all the people who have shared time with me along this road of life. I feel blessed, and thankful for so much.

Until later, take care… Mrs Justa alias CIndy

 

A Few More Travels, Still There’s No Place Like Home

We have taken a couple of trips since my last post. In August we ventured off to Williamsburg VA and this past 2 weeks we went to Sycamore Lodge in NC and ended with a return trip to Williamsburg before coming home.

Some people seem to love being away from home alot, me—notso much . A week is doable, but being gone two weeks was different. I felt almost down and out by the time we got back home. I was so glad to have gone where we went, and we had a nice time, but once reacclimated to our “normal” life, I am so glad to be home too.

The Sycamore Lodge part was kinda unique. We rented the “Artist Cabin”. It was centrally located to the various amenities of the campground. We could see the pool and hot tub area from the front of the cabin, to the right we could see the corn-hole, horseshoe, and shuffleboard area, and from the back deck we could see the lake. We were nestled in the wooded area, tall pines all around, on a part of the road that was like a half circle.

The inside was quaint and comfortable, it was a cabin initially built in the early 1900s as a loft apartment type cabin for the landowner’s daughter. Since then it was renovated into a 2-story 2-bathroom cabin. In looking at the various parts of the cabin, the second-floor bathroom was the top of the stairway to the loft initially, the walls were narrow because the stairway was converted into a bathroom. Downstairs the stairway has been converted to step-up bookcases.

The lake was beautiful, there was a walking path around it that was enjoyable. The pool and hot tub were very well kept and comfy, and the entire area was taken care of immaculately. There was a laundry house on site, so that was convenient also.

The second leg of our journey was to Wyndham Kingsgate in Williamsburg VA. It is another place where the staff tries to have everything very clean and comfortable. In August we went there and stayed in a one bedroom, this time we were in a 2 bedroom. We found that the Colonial National Parkway was the absolute best place to travel between Jamestown and Yorktown.

Yorktown won our time on both trips. It is such a quaint yet interesting area. The beaches we not crowded, there were walking paths, a free trolley that stops at the various historic places, and everyone seemed so friendly. On this most recent trip, we took the auto-narrated tour of the Yorktown Battlefield. It is amazing to travel back in time and realize the importance of the history of the area.

Though we enjoyed the traveling, our driveway looked so welcoming when we pulled in it after many miles of traveling. I personally don’t think I could ever live the “RV life of living in a home on wheels. There is something about having a home where there is comfort for us, and we can come and go as we see fit.

Our life together is peaceful, we live close to family, close to many scenic areas. We can do a day trip to many walking areas, to a large lake, and go outside day or night and enjoy a country-type environment, yet live only a few miles from a small town.

Traveling to get away is nice, but I definitely know I am not a world traveler, I have no desire to travel to other countries, or to take off for weeks on end.

Nope, I think Mark agrees, a week is nice…. and home is the best.

Until later, stay safe, Love Mrs. Justa. Alias Cindy

• content
• home
• travel

 

A Journey Into Serenity

A couple weeks ago we took a journey to the mountains, and we came across this English Pub in the middle of nowhere . A place names M.O.K. alias Man Of Kent. It wasn’t on a busy city street, nope, it was in Hoosick Falls, NY ,on a high hill, above a river. This quaint pub seemed like that special place where people come to meet up with friends,  where many knew each other’s name. We were amazed with all the special memorabilia that hung on all the ceilings and walls. There were tee shirts, banners, sport items, hats, tools, post cards, the list goes on and on, each having memory, a meaning to someone.
Our meal was good, the staff very friendly, and the atmosphere was welcoming. The place was like watching a number of small one act plays as people chatted, laughed, and seemed to love being there, letting any worries stay outside the door.

This was followed by a few beautiful days of staying in an old country inn; by traveling and relaxing in the serenity one can get from mountains; by seeking out a few covered bridges; by traveling on country mountain roads that curved back and forth as if to follow the path of the wide winding creeks, and by enjoying rocking time away on an incredible wrap around porch ; all of these things were providing opportunities to see a calming side of life.

There is something special about the environment, something that is not felt or seen in so many places in this world. In so many towns, it was like going back to a quieter time. A time where people all cared for each other, a time where there was no place like home, family and Sunday dinners. Sure we have had great advancements as time has gone on, but we have a society that in many ways has lost the need to talk to one another- face to face. We can shoot a text , post on a social media page, and label people “friends” on face book-and yet many of our “friends” we might not even recognize if they walked by us on the street.

In these quaint towns, I did not long for social media, I longed for the stroll by the creek with Mark, the conversations as we were rocking on the porch, the attempt to breath in the beauty that surrounded us.
It reminded me that we need to keep our opinions and judgements in our minds and not on our tongues ( or shouted out through our keyboards and fingertips) . There is so much more in relationships that go beyond the current events. We need to let people have their opinion, and not boast about their beliefs . We need to leave out ultimatums, like  “if you don’t think like me, than I have nothing to say ” , or ” I only want to talk about what I want to talk about “. We need to listen. We need to be kind, to be honest, to respect others and to be accountable, caring and accepting. Life is short, there are no guarantees, so in the time we have on this earth, we need to appreciate the beauty of serenity, the softness of the heart, and all the blessings that surround us.

With love and hope for more times like these,

Until later… Mrs Justa alias, Cindy

 

Father’s Day 2022

Today, up at the lake, I was thinking about Father’s Day, and even though my dad died so many many years ago, knowing he was my dad for those 10 short years brings comfort and memories of a man who truly loved his wife and his kids. My dad loved mom and his family, and he would demonstrate that in so many ways. We had a big family , I had 2 older brothers and an older sister from my dads previous marriage. Their mom had passed away. And he and my mom had a total of 7 children, one daughter older than me, a daughter born after me who died shortly after birth, and than my 2 younger brothers and 2 younger sisters. My youngest sister was born the same day my dad died, so she unfortunately did not get to meet him, but I am sure he is always watching over all of us. He was a man who believed in respect, and working for a living, and making the best of what one has.

He had lessons to teach, they would come out at all kinds of moments, kind of words of wisdom. Like to always say thank you, and to keep a smile in my pocket , and to watch where I am going and not where I have been, ( Ha he once repeated that to me after I walked into a parking meter.. he said “Cynthia, life is just like that parking meter, you have to look ahead and not worry about what is behind you) . He taught us honesty, and hard work matters. He was a traveling salesman, gone 5 days throughout the week. He would sometimes get home on Thursday, but need to go back out Friday and sometimes a Saturday was required.

I liked Saturdays , cuz sometimes it was a place I could ride along. He would take either Pam ( who was older) or me on a Saturday journey, which I am sure helped mom out just having one less kid to watch out for. Most Saturdays though he was home, and for a few years after I turned 5, he would be the parent to take me to my accordion lessons in Auburn.

In the car he would pipe out words of wisdom, and I tried to remember them as he taught hints of the road. He would tell me to remember when I start to drive that I need to pay attention when driving, and it is a huge responsibility, and when you are behind the wheel of a car there should be no other distractions. He would tell me a good driver anticipates the road and drivers and therefore should not need to always have to brake quickly, and that the markings on the road mean something very important.

He was a good man, he was like a hero to me, he was my dad, he was our dad! So even though I have not seen him for 58 + years, I miss him to this day , and say- Happy Heavenly Father’s Day Dad. And Happy Father’s day to all you dads out there.

Until later, Mrs Justa Alias Cindy

 

A Date Night To Remember

The longer Mark and I have been together, the less times we refer to a journey here or there as a date night. BUT last weekend, Memorial Weekend… we went on a date night.

It was kinda neat to think we labeled this adventure as a date night, a couple who have been together for 37 yrs almost, but never the less it was our next in a rather long line of ” Mark and Cindys Excellent Adventures”

We were going to the Drive In- yep just like old times, a coolish night, a movie on a big screen with the sounds echoing through the air and car.

We decided to head over with over with an hour and a 1/2 to spare, so that we could avoid long lines getting into see the movie. So we got comfortable clothes for a possible 54 degree evening and off we went. It was a little different than what I had remembered before. Oh there were different groups of people playing frisbee and catch, just like I had remembered from going early to drive ins years ago, but what seemed a tad strange to me was there seemed to be more people parking backwards, and more people setting up lounge chairs and blankets, and settling in for the movie.

Another thing I had noticed were no speakers, yeah that was a tad different. Back in the day….. there were bulky type metal speakers that were on post. A car on each side of the poles and the speaker hooked onto the drivers window. Now only the poles the speakers used to be on So we acclimated ourselves to the NEW WORLD way. We found out that there was a set FM frequency that was used to send the sound through your car radio. There was a upbeat sounding guy on the sound system explaining that all you had to do was leave your car in accessory mode for the movie, tune your radio to a certain set frequency and not to fret, it shouldn’t run your battery down, but just in case, they had helpers to jump start your car.

So all is good, yep this will be fine. We went to the snack bar, ordered a sandwich and drink, and got ready for our date night. Top gun Maverick was ready to begin. Our windows up, our car in accessory mode, the radio set and volume just right and we were ready to watch the movie that was being spoken about as awesome.

Just before the movie started the the upbeat announcer was again assuring all that accessory mode is the way to go, he added a little additional information. He said the movies are about to begin. From now on, no headlights, brake lights while the movie is going, and when you do leave, do not tap your brakes, leave headlights off, please leave your parking lights on until you totally exit the drive in area. GOT IT !

So the movie starts, our radio in the car is set, we are ready to soar the skies with Tom Cruise. It all seemed to be going well, until………. 1 hr and 15 minutes into the movie our dome lights light up, the car goes out of accessory mode , our driving lights automatically come on and we are there like an unwelcome beacon in the night. Unfortunately I only have two hands, and we have 3 VERY BRIGHT dome lights glaring in the car.

Now what do we do? We can’t shut off the driving lights, the dome lights were brighter than 3 spot lights, people were looking over from the car next to us, the car is off, and no accessory mode. We had no idea what to do. Now being a newer keyless car, the only way to start it is with the brake on. We can’t open our doors, because the driving lights change to head lights to show you the way into the darkness when you get home…….So Mark and I decide that this was a good time to leave, as we couldn’t hear the movie, we were lighting up the place, and lets just say it was no longer the neat date night.

So he put his foot on the brake to start the car, and boy were they bright !!!( it was slow to start !!) and off we went. We did laugh all the way home about what a strange date night that was… the old folks night out on the town !

Needless to say, now I know why people were sitting outside their cars, as they must have brought FM radios, boom boxes, or small portable radios to get the sound from. That will be our next additional item should we dare try that again.

Yep, just another chapter in “Mark and Cindy’s Excellent Adventures” . Ya gotta love it.

Until late, Mrs Justa ..alias CIndy

 

The Rest of Last Weekend with the Kids.

As I continue the reflecting on our weekend with the kids last week, and how they helped us out by doing some projects, I am going to direct this first part to the boys. Grandpa had some tasks he wanted to “hire out” , some tasks that the boys definitely wanted to help with, and also they were given free reign to the actual end result.

So as Briella and I were on part one of our mission, the guys were home on their projects. First, every year Mark and I put out a lawn ornaments here and there, and this year it was the boys who were in charge. The only instructions were that the lawn ornaments needed to be placed anywhere but where grandpa mows.

So they gathered from the garage the gnomes of all sizes, some animals, a mushroom, and wheeled them all out; they were on their mission number one.

When Briella and I got back home, it was really neat to see how the guys had decided to arrange every thing. BUT that wasn’t the only part of the project.

They also helped with the deck. They carried out the raised garden beds and table and umbrella from the garage and brought them up on the deck. They brought out the chairs and really fixed up the deck very nicely. Both of these projects the boys were able to do with a lot more enthusiasm and energy then seeing us do them .

Than came the afternoon baseball game. Yep, the Yankees were playing, and the boys are interested in baseball, so we planned a baseball special event. The guys were in the living room, in various “bleachers” watching the game. Briella was the “waitress” ( alias food vendor) and went to the “bleachers ” to take each persons order. She was very thorough, and got their drink and food orders to a tee. The menu included tater tots, cheese burger sliders ( with or without onion) , Hoffman hot dog, meat sauce, and drink. She took down specifically what each person wanted and then the preparation was underway.

In the end the baseball fans were fed,( ha ha even though there were a few comments on how slow the service wa Briella and I ate at the table and a full day of “projects” completed.

We ended our day with some running in the yard, blowing dandelions and making wishes, warm baths or showers and time together, what a perfect time.

So as I end this , I find comfort in the time spent with the kids last week.

Life is so busy, and times like these are treasures, moments that last in our hearts and memories. I once again was a reminder how very precious life is, every single second we have , we need to appreciate whatever is before us. As I look back at the weekend, and at my life, I am feeling thankful that Mark loves to share his days with me, whether we are chasing sunsets, playing yahtzee, playing a card game, chilling watching some evening TV, having the kids over, traveling, or just being…. to have someone who accepts me, no matter what, that is such a blessing.

Until later, Mrs Justa alias Cindy

 

From The Pondering Mind of Child

Recently we had a special weekend with the grandkids. For part of the weekend, we split into two groups. Mark was doing one on one time with the boys and Briella and I went on a journey. Mark and I both had some projects we wanted to “hire” out, things that were neat to watch be done, and see the creativity and thought process of the grandchildren and not us, and in the meantime a way for the kids to take on some tasks for hire.

My journey with Briella started with a trip to a cemetery about 20 minutes away. The task was she was to take a major role in adding flowers to my parent’s grave. We had no idea what cleaning, scrubbing, or weeding would be required, but whatever was needed she was the girl for the job.

When we got there, Briella had some flowers that she was in charge of designing and how to put them around the headstone. We talked about the plans and stopped at the dollar store for a scrub brush and cleaning spray, and then we were off on our mission number one.

When we got there she was so precious, so intent on making the arrangement look welcoming, loving, and special. I let her lay the flowers out and decide just how they should be.

As she was placing them she read the headstone, the dates of birth and death, and their names, and asked some questions about them. She asked about my mom and dad, and what were they like. It was truly one of those times memories are made of.

It was cool talking to her and watching her as she created the final arrangement.

And once she had them just right, they looked beautiful, she made sure they did not cover their names, yet accented their special lives.

We had such a nice talk, and as we were getting ready to leave, we spoke about other headstones there. She started reading names and checked to see if the family had written things on the headstone other than names. She was amazed at the dates, some back in the 17 and 18 hundreds. Some had so many children’s names on them, some with just one or two names on them.

As she read some and we talked about the different headstones, she said so profoundly, ” Gramma these are really all our relatives!” We are all related in a way, aren’t we? ” As I thought about it, if we look back at Adam and Eve, well I guess we are in some way we are all brothers and sisters, we are all family.

We drove through slowly, we saw a headstone with a crane on it, another with memories of the wars people fought in, wars that are mentioned in history books, but seeing a stone and a name and the war they partook in, it made it kind of 3 dimensional.

Our trip, my goal for her task, was meant to be one on a positive note, one that we could share time, no doom and gloom at all, just a way for us to pretty up the place my parents are. And it became so much more than that, as we explored and pondered what people were like, what they did. She was so prophetic so gentle, so innocent, so loving.

Through the mind of a young girl, we had such a memorable time.

Until later, Mrs Justa alias Cindy

 

When March 9th Became More Than Another Day

March 9th 40 years ago became such a special day in my life. Life has a tendency to make marks on times of the year or specific days, and some of those memories can be great, okay, or sad. But March 9th, 1982 was the day I laid eyes on my precious little boy.

Our life has been a journey for sure, but in that journey from the very first moment he breathed on his own, he has never stopped showing his strength, his will to live, his ability to cherish moments and share his very contagious smile and laugh.

The moment my eyes meant Jeffs

It was a LONG labor, with multiple strengths of Pitocin to try to encourage labor, but Jeff moved around and fought the medication for 31 hours.  And finally, after fighting for so long, an emergency C Section was performed, and this precious 10 + pound baby boy came into this world. He took a breath and his lungs started to collapse, so he was rushed off to the nursery, and an IV was placed in his scalp and he was put on 100 % oxygen, and they ran into my room with the incubator to let us see each other for a split second or two, for a moment he opened his eyes and his lips spread as if to say “Hi mom” and then off he went to NICU in a hospital many miles away.

He fought his days of treatment with the will to never give up. And 4 days later he was returned to the hospital I was at, we got to physically meet without a chamber of plexiglass, and tubes and oxygen separating us. Yes that was when our journey began together. 

Even in NICU, being picked and prodded, with not a lot of human connection, he showed his smile, and his will to take on whatever life challenges came his way,

We got to go home and start our journey on his 9th day of life, and from that day forward he has never stopped. He was really a great baby, being a new mom, he filled the house with smiles and memories.  His dad worked about 68  miles away, and so the days were Jeffs’s and ours, and later evenings and nights we were all together.  At about 2 weeks old I captured this picture of him, and I think it is representing his saying

” Is that all you’ve got life, bring it on, I am ready “ 

Yep, he has a smile that can melt the coldest of heart, and a determination to only become stronger, and better. 

As a mom, I feel blessed to have had Jeff as my son. He has traveled many turns and twists in life over the few years of his life, and I truly believe, with all we had been through, he never stopped smiling, and encouraging me. 

Life is not predictable, life is not a guarantee of sunshine and rainbows, without and of life’s storms. For there can not be rainbows without storms, and rainbows are something that makes the storm a little easier. As I think about the years gone by. I wanted to share just a few of the memories in celebration of his birthday.

As Jeff grew, from the age of 1 and going forward, he loved cars, emergency vehicles, pick-up trucks, and big trucks.

He would play with his various hot wheels for hours on end, putting them in order and pushing the line back and forth. If one fell off the tabletop he would laugh uncontrollably, pick it up and restack the line. It is funny how through all these years, he still loves vehicles of all sorts. 

As the times passed he has never stopped smiling. His dad and I had split up, we lived alone for over a year, and he kept on filling my life with so many blessings. And one day I met Mark,  who also was a single parent with a child. Jeff got to go from hot wheels to BIG trucks, as Mark drove a tractor-trailer.  We both had every other weekend with our children, he was gone a lot during the weekdays, but when he was home, he dedicated the time with Jeff and with his daughter every other weekend. Filling them with experiences and memories.                    Jeff got opportunities to see big trucks up close and personal,and one time one of the company driver’s trucks had gone off the road, Mark brought Jeff over to see the truck, he couldn’t stop talking about it for days on end.

 It is funny because a few years later when he was in kindergarten, his teacher called me and said she was concerned because of how Jeff fabricated things about his life and things he had done and seen, and how these exaggerations seemed to become real to him.  So I asked her for some examples, and she shared how he talked about seeing this truck and about touching it and the way it was crushed, about riding in a big truck, about how I was in nursing school and that I worked evenings, but that every Thursday we would go out to dinner at Friendlies and talk about his days at kindergarten, and how he traveled a lot on the thruway and seeing different places. I chuckled and said, they are all true, as I smiled and explained, he is not fabricating any of these things, he loves all the things he has experienced thus far, and I am sure there will be many many more. These are just a tiny portion of memories from all the years of being a mom, I will share more at another time I am sure. 

Yes life has many twists and turns and we know not yet what lies ahead, but looking in the rearview mirror of life, over these last 40 years, I would not change a thing. Because of this guy’s smile, his belief in me, his trust in me, his snicker that explodes into a full-face laugh, his determination to find answers and to help others, he has helped me step each step. Jeff was never anything but a blessing to me, he changed my life 40 years ago, and I feel so very blessed. And as life changes how much we see each other, how many more experiences we will have together,  it never changes my love for him.

Happy Birthday Jeffrey Todd, Happy Happy Birthday. 

With so much love, … until later, Mom…. Mrs justa…. 

 

 

Life Holds No Guarantees…

How would you act if this was the last time you were going to see someone or something? How would you feel if you knew your days were for sure limited to just a few more? How would you talk , if you knew those were the last words heard from you? I ask this as I ponder over a photo from October 2019.

The photo is of my sister. She had fought a long journey with stage 4 pancreatic cancer, and knowing her chemo was no longer helping, she chose to stop it and let her numbered days be as cherished as they could be.

One thing she wanted to do was see Niagara Falls one more time. The first night they arrived at the hotel she was in terrible pain and none of the 4 of us were sure she would feel up to the few block journey to the falls. But the next morning she was feeling stronger and in less pain, so we went to the falls.

For a very very long time, she just soaked in the beauty, the dramatic sight of the power of the water, the mist on her face, and the beauty. She was reminded of a special time she and Tim spent there years ago, and she was reminded how much she loved all the falls offers. She had made it to fulfill one of her one last wishes and this picture captures her as she leaned on the wall and treasured the sights and sounds .

I look at this picture frequently and I think about how that must have felt for her, knowing she was on her final leg of her journey of life on earth. I can almost feel her never wanting that time to end. It reminds me too that no one knows what might be our very last interaction, comment, experience.

It reminds me to listen before speaking, treasure the world around me. and know that life holds no guarantees.

As Karen was fulfilling a final wish, a seagull came to visit the falls, and it landed on the wall a little further down. After my mom died, there have been so many times I needed her assurance, her wisdom, and out of the Heavens a seagull appears, as if to say ” I am right here, always” As I looked at the seagull, I felt it was mom, letting Karen know she is right there, to welcome her on her journey.

How special, how fragile, how unsure, how unpredictable our time on earth is. Life holds few guarantees, there is evil, and goodness, there is sickness and uncertainties. Treat each moment as if it just might be the last, before we journey to our Home.

Until later, Mrs Justa alias Cindy

 

Living Life on The Way Down

I heard a song this past week, one sung and written by one of my favorite singers, James Taylor. I never really absorbed the words before like I do now, many years further down the road of life.

” The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time…Nobody knows how we got to the top of the hill, But since we are on our way down, we might as well enjoy the ride…”

As I think about that, I think about the slide of life. How it seems so far to get from being aware of time to age 40. School years seemed to last forever, even though they really were separated with 3 months of summer each year. Now though, I look back at events or thinking about when we purchased something and I am totally amazed it was years ago, when it seems like only yesterday.

Mark and I both felt around the age of 40 that slide of life seemed to get greased. Ya kinda have to hang onto the sides to see the scenery. It is okay though, there is an attitude we each have the option to have. On the slide of life are you going to be afraid, full of regret, or are you going to enjoy the ride.

Me ,I prefer to enjoy the ride. Oh, there are so many bumps along this slippery slide, areas that feel like someone took a sledgehammer and pounded a big dent on it, but it is still the ride of life.

I often find myself thinking of how blessed I feel for moments I have had in my life. The moments seem to float through my mind, memories I am glad I still have . I hope my memories continue to build and that the ones that have passed don’t float out of my mind, never to return.

These past 2 years have really put a damper on creating many special memories. Going through this pandemic, halted life in so many ways. Oh the slide is still greased, but our connections with people face to face are now changed to text messages, and virtual church services and social media. I personally do not believe these 2 dimensional relationships will in no way create memories that last for years to come.

I am looking forward to having life more normal, more personal, and less via text messaging and more in the same room, having a conversation and seeing the others in real life.

I think about the lost years of family and friend times that are gone forever. We can’t remake the years that we have lost. We can however cherish the ones to come, the ones we can look forward to. For I truly believe that the world will learn to adjust to this pandemic and as the slide of life moves on, we will have more special times.

As I slide down the slide, I will see others climbing up it, getting ready to join the ride. So to those people I say, step slowly, do not miss out on a chance to make that call, see that person, spend those minutes with the ones who mean something to you.

Yes, James Taylor’s song meant more to me now, than it did so many years ago.. ” Since we are on our way down, we might as well enjoy it.”

Until later, Mrs Justa alias Cindy… One of the ones breezing by on the slide of life.

 

Riley Regan

And so it began on June 26, 2012. we adopted Riley.

She was a rescue dog , they figured 2-3 years old from a local SPCA. She was determined to be a beagle boxer mix, and she definitely had the beagle face and boxer body..

It was so sad when we first brought her home, she was so afraid of being in a crate, and if you called her name she belly crawled to you. But over time, knowing she was safe with us, some of those fears went aware .She did not have a mean bone in her body, she loved being with people. As the years passed and grandkids increased, she absolutely adored the kids. She loved our son Jeff and his wife Amanda, and when they pulled into the driveway she could not wait to say hi.

Along the way this dog was amazing. She watched over us, she sat next to us , and if we were sad or sick, of recovering from a surgery, she was right by us through it all.

Unfortunately as she aged she had health issues, some related to her extremely sensitive digestive system and some related to muscle and skeletal issues. All together they were difficult for her, yet managed with various medications and prescription food. No matter how lousy she felt, she never stopped following us around, being there no matter how our day was going, she was our rock.

Her medical issues continued to add up, she started a year or so ago with arthritis in her back legs and hip, then muscle wasting from her tailbone to her middle back, to her recent diagnosis of Cushings disease along with possible cancerous growths under her ear and on her spine. She was sleeping most of her days unless we had to go somewhere, then her concern for us caused her to take short naps and go to a window to see if we were coming back.

She became terrified of wind, rain and thunder, she would run to us, panting and trembling severely. If we put one of her dog sweaters on her, that seemed to help, but it did not alleviate it. That and some background music of Kenny G.

Just before she was diagnosed with Cushing a couple weeks ago, her need to go out and pee was sometimes every 10-30 minutes. We took her in thinking it was another UTI, but after testing her urine , it was determined it was not an infection. So a few days later and a day long test, the diagnosis came back of Cushings.

Anyone who has never had a dog may not even begin to understand the loss of a dog. A dog loves you unconditionally, they are happy to see you when you come home, they watch as you have to leave. They sense if you are hurting or sick, and try to comfort you. They long for you to return if you have to go somewhere. Riley zoomed around the house to find a toy to great us whenever we were entering the house from a short time out, maybe from the store or doctors. She loved soft beds, her toys, her belly rubbed and being loved.

This precious angel would sit by the dryer or washer when I did laundry, would lay next to Mark if her was in his recliner, would plop down by the table if we were playing a game or eating, she supervised me in the bathroom, or taking a shower, she watched me cook she followed mark around wherever he went, and if he was mowing the yard, she watched him mow, she watched him snowblow.

• 

She just loved to be with us, and us with her. She never stopped loving us, nor did we ever stop loving her. Dogs are not “just a dog”. They are so very much more. They are the meaning of commitment, of trust, of being faithful. To me, I am so very glad we were able to share our life with her in it.

We had to put her to sleep yesterday- 10-13-2021. It was tough to do, but it was also the humane thing to do. She will be missed, She has left a spot in our hearts that will remain to be filled with all she was. And eventually the tears will lessen, the silence in the house will seem like the new norm, I will be used to living without being supervised…. but for now, for today, it is a huge void, but not as huge as knowing we did the very best for her, and she knew she was loved. RIP Miss Riley Regan…. and thank you for all these years of love. Until later. Mrs Justa alias Cindy