When March 9th Became More Than Another Day

March 9th 40 years ago became such a special day in my life. Life has a tendency to make marks on times of the year or specific days, and some of those memories can be great, okay, or sad. But March 9th, 1982 was the day I laid eyes on my precious little boy.

Our life has been a journey for sure, but in that journey from the very first moment he breathed on his own, he has never stopped showing his strength, his will to live, his ability to cherish moments and share his very contagious smile and laugh.

The moment my eyes meant Jeffs

It was a LONG labor, with multiple strengths of Pitocin to try to encourage labor, but Jeff moved around and fought the medication for 31 hours.  And finally, after fighting for so long, an emergency C Section was performed, and this precious 10 + pound baby boy came into this world. He took a breath and his lungs started to collapse, so he was rushed off to the nursery, and an IV was placed in his scalp and he was put on 100 % oxygen, and they ran into my room with the incubator to let us see each other for a split second or two, for a moment he opened his eyes and his lips spread as if to say “Hi mom” and then off he went to NICU in a hospital many miles away.

He fought his days of treatment with the will to never give up. And 4 days later he was returned to the hospital I was at, we got to physically meet without a chamber of plexiglass, and tubes and oxygen separating us. Yes that was when our journey began together. 

Even in NICU, being picked and prodded, with not a lot of human connection, he showed his smile, and his will to take on whatever life challenges came his way,

We got to go home and start our journey on his 9th day of life, and from that day forward he has never stopped. He was really a great baby, being a new mom, he filled the house with smiles and memories.  His dad worked about 68  miles away, and so the days were Jeffs’s and ours, and later evenings and nights we were all together.  At about 2 weeks old I captured this picture of him, and I think it is representing his saying

” Is that all you’ve got life, bring it on, I am ready “ 

Yep, he has a smile that can melt the coldest of heart, and a determination to only become stronger, and better. 

As a mom, I feel blessed to have had Jeff as my son. He has traveled many turns and twists in life over the few years of his life, and I truly believe, with all we had been through, he never stopped smiling, and encouraging me. 

Life is not predictable, life is not a guarantee of sunshine and rainbows, without and of life’s storms. For there can not be rainbows without storms, and rainbows are something that makes the storm a little easier. As I think about the years gone by. I wanted to share just a few of the memories in celebration of his birthday.

As Jeff grew, from the age of 1 and going forward, he loved cars, emergency vehicles, pick-up trucks, and big trucks.

He would play with his various hot wheels for hours on end, putting them in order and pushing the line back and forth. If one fell off the tabletop he would laugh uncontrollably, pick it up and restack the line. It is funny how through all these years, he still loves vehicles of all sorts. 

As the times passed he has never stopped smiling. His dad and I had split up, we lived alone for over a year, and he kept on filling my life with so many blessings. And one day I met Mark,  who also was a single parent with a child. Jeff got to go from hot wheels to BIG trucks, as Mark drove a tractor-trailer.  We both had every other weekend with our children, he was gone a lot during the weekdays, but when he was home, he dedicated the time with Jeff and with his daughter every other weekend. Filling them with experiences and memories.                    Jeff got opportunities to see big trucks up close and personal,and one time one of the company driver’s trucks had gone off the road, Mark brought Jeff over to see the truck, he couldn’t stop talking about it for days on end.

 It is funny because a few years later when he was in kindergarten, his teacher called me and said she was concerned because of how Jeff fabricated things about his life and things he had done and seen, and how these exaggerations seemed to become real to him.  So I asked her for some examples, and she shared how he talked about seeing this truck and about touching it and the way it was crushed, about riding in a big truck, about how I was in nursing school and that I worked evenings, but that every Thursday we would go out to dinner at Friendlies and talk about his days at kindergarten, and how he traveled a lot on the thruway and seeing different places. I chuckled and said, they are all true, as I smiled and explained, he is not fabricating any of these things, he loves all the things he has experienced thus far, and I am sure there will be many many more. These are just a tiny portion of memories from all the years of being a mom, I will share more at another time I am sure. 

Yes life has many twists and turns and we know not yet what lies ahead, but looking in the rearview mirror of life, over these last 40 years, I would not change a thing. Because of this guy’s smile, his belief in me, his trust in me, his snicker that explodes into a full-face laugh, his determination to find answers and to help others, he has helped me step each step. Jeff was never anything but a blessing to me, he changed my life 40 years ago, and I feel so very blessed. And as life changes how much we see each other, how many more experiences we will have together,  it never changes my love for him.

Happy Birthday Jeffrey Todd, Happy Happy Birthday. 

With so much love, … until later, Mom…. Mrs justa….