Mrs Justa sharing special thoughts

Special moments in our lives,

special people we share our lives with, special things we do for others, and special things that others do for us. I am thinking this evening about those once in a lifetime experiences. The first dance as husband and wife, it is the only first dance that you can have. How special that moment is supposed to be. All watching theses 2 people who have chosen to become one in a sense, chosen to walk the valleys and dales of life together forever.

It’s a special time that goes much further than just the couple.

As others witness them sharing the dance together, others may remember their first dance with their spouse, or maybe long to have that same experience.  A lifetime is a huge commitment, it is times when it feels like it would be easier to walk alone, and times when the person goes off to work or an event, and you long for them to still be with you.

I can speak for myself,

and what this very special moment meant for me. First, I felt like crying from pride , watching my little boy dance with his bride. Knowing that this precious woman was now a part of our family, and feeling the emotions her dad and mom must have felt knowing she was changing her name. I wondered what they were saying to each other. A time I realized that this was a time that would never be repeated. There was a whole room full of people, all eyes on them, but I do not think they even realized the others. They were lost in each other. I felt lucky to have made it to this moment, Jeff as a child would always tell me he did not want me to die until he at least got married. As he was closer to getting married, it was extended to after his children have grown up. I never promised him my life, but told him I would do my best to stay alive to share these moments, these special moments.

Other special moments,

the first day in school, the first person who said you were their friend, the first date, the first kiss, the first babysitting job, the first real job, the first time behind the wheel of a car, the first new car, the first moment after becoming engaged, the first dance, graduation, your wedding, the first holding of your new born baby. I can go on, and will spend time with others as life goes on. But for this moment, I want to remind people to look back at their first dance, the first kiss as husband and wife, with the whole world ahead of you, with someone who loved you so much, that they would vow to share their life with you. It is the type of moment captured in time, easily retrieved by a photo, a song, or a person. Watch for those special moments, engulf them, never forget them. Love always Cindy

43 Things Tags: memories,special moments,life,love,wedding

 

Mrs.Justa busy

I can not wait to be able to join the little guy and stare out at the world going by. Right now my world going by is faxes , phone calls, paper work, sorting stuff, moving boxes from one room to another, going to the Rescue Mission with treasures we do not need, and it goes on and on.

Life is good, it is a challenge, it is never dull. I guess that is good though. Some people get bored, watch too much TV, play too many video games, not us, at least not right now, we are just spending too much time sorting, packing and surviving.  Work is hectic right now, with new folks being hired some choosing to go elsewhere, going through policies and procedures, and then coming home to chaos. So I am letting the cat relax, my hubby is letting me know how much packing there is, so to save the frustrations, I am gone for now.

I wish you time to stop and look, stare, relax, and think of me..Love, Cindy

 

Mrs Justa Reaching

I feel like these trees, just reaching for the sky, reaching for places I never thought I would go. I do that a lot. I try to be better at something or to reach for new heights. At the same time I try to be there next to others , to try to give them support and lead them , if they ask to be lead, through tough times.

At work ,it can be that someone is having a problem with a part of the job, I try to reach out and give them the direction they need. My problem is I do not like to be mean, maybe that is not a problem, but it is something that makes me uncomfortable if another person is nasty to be around.

Have you ever been around someone that you are sure eats nails for breakfast? They must wear shoes that are the wrong size, pinching their toes, or maybe their underwear creeps up or slides down. When I am around people like that, I reach up tall to try to stay away from the low level they seem to wallow in .

I am reaching on this whole adventure of the move. To have our own land, how very cool is that. The park we live in was very nice at one time, but it has gone down hill, and it feels like we have to make an excuse for your surroundings, when it has nothing to do with us.So I reach above the reality of the situation to see the light, above the people who do not care, or are just slobs, when I reach way  up I can not see them as clearly.

Reaching above peoples looks, comments about my home. It is a double wide, but some choose to label it a trailer. To me a trailer is what you go camping in, or haul stuff to the dump. A $59,000.00 manufactured home, one that is built to specks of a home, well, that is not a trailer, it is a home. I love our home, and it really hurts me when people refer to my home as a trailer. How many “stick” houses can go down the road at 60 MPH and still look great after the move? So once again, I have to reach above the hurt , the feelings that people portrait that they are above us, and just enjoy what we have.

My ending thought for today is to reach beyond your comfort zone, look up at the sky, at the opportunities that are just past your fingertips, and reach, set goals, and reach above insults, problems, so that you can see the light. My love to all, and thanks for taking the time to stop, reach beyond your responsibilities and read this. Cindy

43 Things Tags: Reaching,lifes challenges,being aware

 

Mrs. Justa focusing on packing

As I write this , Mark is in the back of me wrapping glasses from the China Cabinet in newspaper and carefully placing each on in Avon boxes ( Thanks Sandy) . I look at this photo, and in a couple of months, I hope that Mark would be walking up a set of steps to a house, instead of the slight embankment to the mound where the house is going to go.

We are so near, yet so far, so very much to do, a thrill of the move is being held down, I have to force myself not to be jubilant. Stay focused, focus, on what has to be done, but the little girl inside of me doesn’t want to wait, does not want to be an adult. Let some other adult do the work, I want to play.

But reality is here, I must stay calm, I must stay in check. To look at this whole project, well we have about 6 weekends to pack 8 rooms,and a shed, and that is if it takes 6 more weeks.

So yes, I am anal about this, I am nervous, but I am thankful we can do it. So off I go to help out Mark, I will be back tomorrow. My advice to anyone, is when you are tempted to go shopping, give the money to your retirement account, when you are giving gifts, give a dinner and movie pass to the person, a gas card, if that had been how we did things for all these years, there would be a lot less to go through right now!

My love to all, Cindy

43 Things Tags: moving,packing,stuff,lifes challenges

 

Mrs Justa can’t belive it is Sunday night

Blah, blah , blah, another weekend has slipped through my fingertips. I feel like this little guy,

I want to stick my tongue out at the world sometimes. It goes so quickly, I just feel like I must have slept for the day and did not realize it.

We have to pack, and there will be many other mentions of this. I did not pack one thing today. 17 years of all kinds of treasures, gifts, items, plus the 33 and 45 rpm records, cassette tapes, vhs tapes, dvds, books, clothes, kitchen ware, dishes, pots, pans, utensils, more clothes, cleaning supplies, , and I packed nothing today.

I am thinking straight on about the move, but today was an exception day,

a day of celebrating Mother’s Day with;

1) my wonderful son and his precious wife. They took us to breakfast and gave me a card that was so very special and a really cool solar powered light house that has a beacon light that blinks,

2) the people in church today, they are such terrific people

3) To some special friends home to visit and they had some boxes for us.

4) Went to look at riding lawn mowers for ideas on prices

5) to get groceries

6) Home to work around the house and

7) we baked cinn raison bread for our good friend Shawn.

So we were very busy, but it was a wonderful Mother’s Day. Just bumming, wanting to stick out my tongue

at Monday. Have a great day all, I love you , Cindy

43 Things Tags: blessings Mother’s Day,being aware

 

Mrs Justa thinking of MOM

Happy Mothers Day is the theme.

Mark and I are both using it, and it should be addressed I think by all.

Me, I am honoring my mom.

She was and incredible woman. A woman who was born an illegitimate child ( by societies standards) - to me no child is “illegitimate- every person is a gift. She was born in the 1920s and was treated  like something to be ashamed of by her grandmother.She remembered a time her grandmother ripped up her birth certificate in front of her, making comments about her shame she had brought to the family. This woman grew up to become a professor at Syracuse University, to raise 6 of her natural children and for 3 additional children from her husbands previous marriage , she had no problem being their mom, mentor, support.

She was a wise woman, and far from a mistake

She was never wrong, she would predict things to me, I would try to prove her wrong, yet she was always right in her guidance and wisdom. She cared for others, made the best toll house chocolate chip cookies, survived and held us together after the sudden death of her husband in 1963, leaving with 6 children , ages new born to 11. The new born was actually born at the same time my father died from a heart attack, my mo was told in the recovery room that she had a new daughter and her husband had died in a separate hospital.

When many would have given up

she got her thoughts together, kept her family in the front of her mind and went to college, earned her teaching degree and worked towards her masters and PHD thru her 60’s. She never stopped giving of herself, her time , her love for others, she would sacrifice her needs to fulfill others.

For her whole life though I think she longed to have roots,

and when she was 75, she decided to do a Internet search to find if she really had any relatives in Germany ( where her grandmother and mother were originally from). And low and behold she found one person, Andi. She went to Germany for her birthday to find her ties to her past heritage, and met Andi  and her family, they shared history and family genealogy, Andi actually could have been a close twin to my youngest sister. It was 35 years to the day of my father’s death, and my youngest sisters birthday, when my mom finally connected her past and met Andi,  only to die in her sleep at Andi’s home. It was a perfect ending to a perfect life story. (This photo was taken of her, in Germany, 3 days before her death)

She finally found herself,

some roots, she finally had the comfort of knowing there was more family then the one she and my dad created, she was ready to go home- to the ultimate home.I miss her terribly,

I love you mom, and someday, I will see you again, thank you for all you did for me, for us, for everyone you touched.

Happy Mother’s Day.

Love, Cindy

43 Things Tags: mother,miss,love,challenges,death,life

 

Mrs Justa getting tired today.

Zoom, zoom, here I go, this is how I feel some days. I may reset my alarm a couple times before I actually get up ( Mark HATES that!)  but  once my feet hit the floor, my body is always trying to catch up.

Take a shower, do my hair, get dressed, walk the dog, make the lunches, write down things for the day, sometimes make the coffee and feed the pets.

On the way to work, I am practicing songs for church, listening to the traffic, and thinking about what I have to do at work and when I leave.

Out of work, zoom zoom home , visit with Mark, do chores , clean , laundry, pay bills, work with Mark on planning or the budget, we run errands, now we are going to be packing, sorting and weaning out stuff.

I am tired just thinking about it! Life is too chaotic for me at times, but I endure, I do not give up.

So I am off to bed soon, ( as soon as I go thru the bills and enter the info on Quicken.) Sighhhh. Have a good night, slow down, smell the roses and enjoy life/ smell some for me too Thanks, love always, Cindy

43 Things Tags: tired,sleeping,waking,lifes challenges

 

Mrs Justa nurse on Nursing

This is National nurses Week,

so tonight I want to do a little piece on nursing. Nurses are such giving people,if they work in a facility, they put their career  in front of family on the holidays and weekends. In an office, they too are often in situations where they can not get up and leave their shifts.It is a hard job. My favorite nursing ,for me, was in the hospital setting. I went into nursing to be with people in their time of need, when they had no one else, or when they were alone during frightening times.

Since I have been out of the hospital,

I have done office nursing in an Internal Medicine office and in a Family Practice, which I have also loved, and done as a second job at times. I have taken extra courses and am a legal nurse consultant with an associates in paralegal, and I have worked on the insurance/payor side since 1995. So I have had a variety of nursing, and when I have to visit a loved one or a friend in the hospital, I still miss that type of nursing.

Oh , it can be bull work at times,

and it can be heart wrenching at times, but the hospital world in a unique experience. There is so many venues and so many opportunities, and it is difficult to explain how people act, when no matter what their financial status out in the world is, and no matter where they live and work, once admitted to the hospital every patient becomes similar. They are given similar gowns, eat off cafeteria trays, get awakened at all hours as the nurses follow the doctors orders to take vital signs, or administer medications, do dressing changes, assess a wound or patients condition.

I love going the extra mile for my patients.

Elderly patients, I would give them a sticker of something cute- they loved it. I would offer back rubs, and tried to always answer the call lights promptly. I would wash their hair, or figure a way to let them take a shower, if their doctor said it was okay. I would try to get to know them as I worked on their room.

I fluffed pillows as I was assessing them, and always tugged wrinkles out of their sheets as I stood up after emptying their foley.

I took great pride when a family knew me.

I just loved helping people. Believe it or not, I am really tempted to try to pick up a Saturday evening shift a couple times a month, but am hesitant to do this until after we are settled with this move.

My wishes and thanks go out to all my sister and brother nurses. I admire you, I honor you, and no matter what type of nursing you do, I appreciate you. Be safe, be careful, and be proud of what you do. Love Cindy

43 Things Tags: nurses week,nursing,family,choices,work

 

Mrs Justa wondering

This is one of those pictures that just happened, I did not actually take it intentionally, I think maybe the leash hit the button. I look at it and it is kinda cool, don’t cha think? What the world looks like at dog level. The tug slightly on his neck as he looks over across the street from our possible new place to live.

I wonder if dogs care what others think of them? I wonder if they care if their hair is combed, our how much they weigh. How do they adapt to not needing glasses. They seem to get along fine, even the vet may inform you that they are looking through a fog all the time.

Do they ever long for other stuff for dinner, or do they get soar feet and muscles. Do they like a leash? Do they really like to ride in the car? What do they feel? And what do we want them to feel?

I wonder, because dog psychologists say it is the tone of your voice, the short words that make sense, but when I give my dog a lecture, it is like he is absorbing every word.

He seems to like when I take him out for walks, but what is he thinking about at that low level?  Does he have a plan? Does he live in the moment?

How nice not to worry about bills, cell phones, jobs, emotional issues, clothes, how your house looks, ..how nice just to be.

I am justa wondering… Love ya all, Cindy

43 Things Tags: life,dog,being aware

 

Mrs Justa getting jittery

 

I am really getting pretty nervous

about all the things we have to do. At the same time it is exciting, yet very overwhelming. This is our 1.04 acres we are interested in. It is the first lot on the left as you enter the 48 site community.

See the tree up close,

I already have ideas for decorating it this Christmas! ( IF we can find it at Christmas) This place is in the buckle of the snow belt. Where we are now was the edge of the buckle, but this is right in the middle. Last year they had 4 feet of snow one storm and 3 feet at another storm.Now picture this house on that land. That is our plan of attack. It is a 28 x 62 foot home. ( So 6 feet longer then what we have right now.

We are not there yet,

we are real close though. Next is the inspection of our existing home, that is Thursday. That should go very well, we have taken care of our home, I love the home we have now, so I think anyone would love it.

Then it is signing the land binder Thursday night.

Then we need to gather information for a building permit , and present that with a copy of the existing deed to the financial guy with my W2 form and a letter stating I work where I do , and that I am a good employee.

Once all that is done, then hang on, cuz here we go ,

full speed ahead. I am excited, I am nervous, I am just being me. I get all jittery when I am about to spend money in the thousands; cars , campers, homes, school, it really gets me almost nauseous . This will be nice though,knowing it is our land, and not that we are dependant on a park to stay open.

Jeff and Amanda saw the site last night,

they liked it too. It will be home, eventually.  Isn’t life fun, nerve racking, challenging, and scary all at the same time. I remember when I said “I do” ( both times ) I was feeling all those emotions, and when I found out I was pregnant, all those emotions again, my unexpected divorce, well that was challenging, gut wrenching  and scary, not so much fun, meeting Mark- all the emotions, going to nursing school- all the emotions, my first day as a graduate nurse on the hospital floor- major emotions, changing jobs, raising a child, - yes life is full of so many emotions, enjoy it, learn from it and hang on as we all go for the ride. I love you all, Cindy

43 Things Tags: new land,new home,lifes challenges,scared,nervous,fun

 

Mrs. Justa loving our kids

Today I am feeling proud, I am feeling thankful and reminiscing

These are our kids. Jeff and Adrianne. Jeff is my son, Adrianne is Mark’s Daughter. To Mark and I they are both “our” kids though.Mark and I met when the kids were 3 1/2. We had both been let go by our previous spouses. Mark and I were not the people in the relationship that were looking to split up, so we were both in the same, “whoa is me ” psyche at the time we meant. We had both struggled along in the very scary, lonely life of being separated for a year, having times to see our kids, and times when we could not. We met at a peer support group for people recovering from relationships ending due to separations, divorces, deaths and also some folks who came to the meeting were just single and alone.

We had parallels with our history of our marriages ending

our very broken hearts and our kids were almost the identical age. We introduced the kids to each other a couple of months after he and I started talking and getting to know one another.

The kids hit it off fairly well

and really became a brother and sister quickly. They would play and talk and share laughter each time they got together. They would have time together every other weekend, but it was enough for them to get a bond. I always wanted to have Adrianne more, but she loved mer mom so much, that we got her when we could. It was tough, Mark’s job took him over the road 5 days a week, so his availability to get her more frequently was hard too. Today though it makes me so proud to see these 2 kids now. They are all grown up, they are good people, they cherish their spouses and their spouses cherish them. I hope they know how much we loved both of them.

I believe that if any of the parents needed anything,

they would be there for them, yet they are not dependant on the parents to survive. I know we would do what we could to help them out if they needed help. And I believe their other parents would too.

We were just looking at a photo album of days gone by,

Jeff was 1 1/2 in some of these photos, then I was looking at some after Mark and I met. I was bumming that all those days have gone by, yet relieved that we all made it through them. It makes me feel warm, proud, and thankful to see them now, I feel that somehow, we did some things right. Soon there will be a grandson, soon another life that we will help create memories in, and give love to. My thought is remember that time flies, do not take one moment as anything but a gift, a moment to create a memory, a moment to do something kind for someone. It was only yesterday I was reading a nighttime story to these 2 kids, …I turned around and they were grown up. Enjoy and be thankful. Love, Cindy

43 Things Tags: kids,family,life,treasure moments,love

 

Mrs. Justa lovin’ the kitchen

 

Kitchens are the place where memories come from,

where memories are made, where friends gather, where time is captured, creations are done, mistakes are made too. I gotta tell you, I do truly love my kitchen. It is open, it is roomy enough that more then a few people can be in it, and we can talk while preparation is being done.

It opens up to our dining room and living room

which are also very open. So no matter where people are, we are not blocked by walls. 

We have had many different types of things happen in our kitchen.

When Jeff was younger, he and his friend Lenny, would sit at each end of the kitchen and push metal cars back and forth. They would spray the floors with water and then slide on it, there are times when the island was the “kids table” at a holiday dinner. Many cookies and treats have been made on that island. Large and small meals prepared for 2 to 20 people. Countless conversations with others. Now it is  mostly Mark and I. We occasionally have people over, and sometimes Courtney shares weekend nights with us, but for the most part it is the 2 of us. When I am cooking, he is in the kitchen talking and helping. He usually ends up with the dish washing duty, I end up in there talking, and sometimes drying the dishes.

I do not know what it is about the kitchen,

but kitchens are where people gather a lot. To me the kitchen is a comfortable place, it gives out a sense of compassion, of love.

There is a chance that this will be my new kitchen in a month or two.

I do like it , it just has no memories yet, where the one we have has 17 years of memories .Oh I am not saying I won’t love the new one, it has many things to offer. To the left of the table is a slider, so the kitchen would lead to a deck in the future. On the other side of the kitchen is an open dining room, so again it invites memories and conversations to be made.

Who knows where we will end up, but I am thinking this is where it will be.

And next Thanksgiving,

just maybe some new memories will be started, new treasures made in the kitchen, the smell of coffee brewing and turkey roasting, maybe, just maybe that will all happen here. I wish you each have the comfort and closeness in events that happen in your kitchen. Love, Cindy

43 Things Tags: kitchen,memories,life,family,relationships

 

Mrs Justa pondering nightime

I was looking at the lights in the city

the other night and wondering what each light represents. Is it a night light set to stay on for security reasons? Is it a light in someone’s condo, apartment,  home. What are all the people doing at this time? Are they talking, fighting, loving, reading, cooking? Are they all in separate rooms, existing, but not sharing life with each other? We have so much at our fingertips. We live in high rises, expensive homes, lesser then average homes, slums, mobile homes, apartments, shacks, town homes, cardboard boxes. There are a variety of places that people lay there heads.

What is going on behind these walls?

Are people arguing about relationships,desires, disappointments, money, stresses of life? And if they are, can the kids hear it all? What are we teaching our children? What are children in these places in the city experiencing tonight? (Courtesty of clipart.com)Are kids getting bedtime stories after they have a bedtime snack and brush their teeth? Or are kids going to bed dirty, hungry, scared because of anger they live in.

I wish I had a huge home in the country.

I wish I could afford to take in kids and provide them the love and support they need, the cuddles and hugs. There is nothing cooler, in my mind, then having a child sit on your lap, in their feety pajamas, smelling like baby shampoo and baby wash, as you rock and read them a bedtime story. Having them rest their head on your shoulder as they nod off to sleep, watching them sleep soundly in a warm crib or bed.

How about those without children, are they alone?

Do they live with someone else? Do they talk, or do they fight? Are they lonely or are they exuberant? Are they sleeping or drinking their life away? Or are they cherishing every second of their life?  What if we could hear all the voices behind these walls. What would we hear?

What emotions would we witness?

How can we help to make sure that every single person goes to sleep in peace? We can’t, and that hurts me because for most of my life I have been blessed with a roof over my head, food in the cupboard and refrigerator, clothes to wear, transportation,employment  and people who love me. I have had a few years in my life when it wasn’t so blessed, but for the most part, I feel fortunate. I tried to always make sure night time was calm time, that Jeff went to bed feeling peace, that we had a family game or a book to read, or maybe watched a movie or family type tv show. I just wish I could do more for those who are less fortunate. Tonight I will say a special prayer for those whose lives are in turmoil.

May this find you in peace, sweet dreams, and good night. Love always, Cindy

43 Things Tags: city,sleep,love,comfort,anger,fighting,peace,children

 

Mrs Justa on in laws

I was at a meeting last night

and behind me were 2 ladies talking. One was saying that she and her husband are moving soon to a bigger house, and she was going to put uncomfortable beds in the spare bed room so that her mother-in-law would not stay too long.

She went on to say

that she wishes her mother-in-law was like her friends mother-in-law, and would go shopping with her. She was going on about how her mother-in-law never stopped over , and that she was the stereo-typical mother-in-law. She said, “You know the kind they make jokes about .”

Well that got me thinking

I am a mother-in law to a son-in law and a daughter-in-law. Both of these people are wonderful people. They are wonderful individuals themselves, and make such good spouses for our 2 kids. As a mother-in-law though, I try to be everything that is not dreaded.

I hope they both know I am here for them,

I am not , however, going to want to bring out memories of being meddling in their affairs, or trying to compare their way of doing things to how I do things. My goodness, Jeff married a woman he loves, not his mother! As a mom I watched Jeff grow, I gave him guidance to really think about how what he does affects others and events.

Adrianne was here every other weekend when she was younger,

and sometimes for longer spells in the summer. I tried to treat her and teach her the same things and way I did Jeff. She has grown up a fine young woman, and I know she married her best friend and her love of her life. She did not marry her father.

I really hope that both Jeff and Amanda, and Adrianne  and Josh,

do not misinterpret my lack of being a pest, an opinionated mother /mother-in-law, I hope they do not think it is because I don’t care. It is not that I have opinions I am holding in either, I respect your lives, they are your lives, I am impressed at how well you all get along, and how all together you all are with life.

I love you all so very much,

and I think of you all the time. I must admit, I personally think I am a bit boring, I don’t go shopping, don’t go out to window shop, I love being home, I love going to the park with the dog, doing laundry, cleaning my house, cooking a meal for you, being there for you. I just hope that my lack of being more in–your-face type on mom, is not misinterpreted at all. I cherish each of you, I am in many ways a home body, but I am here for you, I will do anything in my power for you, I love you.

I just felt so bad for this woman talking, and for her mother-in-law,

because she just may be misinterpreting the actions of the situation. How many other people feel their in-laws don’t care or are too critical? I hope that anyone reading this, whether they are the in-law parents, or in-law spouses, remember that there may be 2 ways to read an action, do not discredit it as not caring.

With love and prayers for all, Cindy

43 Things Tags: in-laws,life,love,misinterpreting,caring

 

Mrs. Justa making music my life

Music, is it not amazing?

There are 8 whole notes in an octave. 8 of them, just at different octave levels, and look at all the songs they have made. Eight notes with 1/2 notes in between, depending on how the song is written it can sound joyful , excited, sad, terrified. Eight notes, and there are countless songs, none quite sounding like another. None with the same words in the same order. I look at my collection of records, tapes and CD’s and I am amazed at how many different songs there are. What I have is a minute representation of the songs in the world.

I can be taken back to a time in my life,

just by hearing a song. I can see the room or feel the  wind as if I was back in that period of time.I feel the same emotions. I can feel so low that I can cry  listening to some songs, and others bring me such joy I may break out in a huge smile.

To some , music may not mean anything,

but to me, it is part of what makes me whole. I do not know if you can understand that, if music does not do the same thing to you, but to me, I have a song in my heart most of the time. I catch myself stuck on a tune, or longing to hear one I have not heard for a while.

Sometimes I fall for the melody

and later really listen to the words, only to find out it is about some woman crying the blues about dating a married man. I love the tune, but can not bring myself to sing the song, because it is something I can not support with song. I love to sing, and do so at church, and on occasion out in a Karaoke setting. When I sing a song, I have to really feel the song. Even if it is not something I have felt in life, I have to feel the meaning, so that others may feel it to.

Maybe, just maybe, I will be singing a song

that becomes a memory of a special time to someone or to many. I was going out a couple times a month singing at various Karaoke shows, it was fun, and the audience is unique in a karaoke bar. It is often that they hear you, but continue to do their thing, whether it be playing pool, shooting darts or hanging out with friends. Every once in a while though, a certain song may hit the group and they stop, they rally around, they may sway with lighters lit ,waving them above their heads or they may just turn and listen, if that happens, when that happens, I know I have not only felt the song, but I have succeeded in sharing the song with others.

Eight notes, unending combinations, words put together, Music is the foundation of who I am. I wish you all a song in your hearts, a feeling from a song, a longing to hear more. Love always, Cindy

43 Things Tags: music,songs,feelings,message,melody

 

Mrs Justa’s wall of life

Our refrigerator door has many roles.

It is obviously to keep the food cold

but that  is not it’s only role at our house. Currently it is a display of life. On the left door is a photo of the father daughter dance, when Mark was honored to dance with his daughter Adrianne, at her wedding.

Directly under that is a photo

of Jeff and Amanda at their wedding, with Adrianne standing next to her dad and Adrianne’s husband standing next to me. To the right is a photo of my mom, 2 days before she died, unexpectedly, under that is a photo of Jeff , about 1 1/2 yrs old.

There is our white board

where we write down groceries needed, or a reminder. On the other door, is a photo of my mother in law from my first marriage, she too has since passed on. And of photo of Jeff and his mentor “Sarge” right after Jeff became an officer of the law. They were in their uniforms. There are various notes and business cards, it is a resource of information and memoirs.

As Jeff was growing up

it was the showcase of all his works of art in elementary school. In middle school and high school we had a white board calendar so we would know the various places we had to go, baseball schedule and then marching band information. I would put my work schedule on it.

The refrigerator door is a wall of life,

a place of now and before, the memories it holds, the pride it has given , the chaos it sometimes displayed , it is always there, always looked at, and when you hang your little ones works of art on them , it is a way to show them how proud you are of who they are, what they have done and where they have been.

So keep that door closed tight, and remember to look at it. It truly is the times of our lives. Love always, Cindy

43 Things Tags: memoirs,family,pride,photos

 

Mrs Justa ..Mrs Grandma justa

I am so excited.

My baby boy and his wife called me at work to tell me that we are going to have a GRANDSON!! Whoa–a new little boy to the family. It will be some months before we can actually hold the little guy, but my mind is swirling with joy, excitement and happiness for both of them.

Jeff and Amanda’s lives are so busy right now.

I never know quite when to capture them, and I just love when they come over for dinner and sometimes a movie. I thought of this picture for a few reasons. One was all the plans they have, and challenges and joys to hold onto, are much like these drops of dew on these blades of grass. They sit so high and proud on the very tips, they all have a purpose, and some may hang on longer then others. Inside each drop is a reflection of the world, in a tiny drop of water.

The baby is growing,

cell by cell, and within its tiny little body is a world of joy, laughter and I am sure interesting moments. There are droplets that represent us..one set of grandparents , to be. Planning all sorts of things, what to put the baby in to ride in the car, where the baby would sleep if he was visiting, it is a new chapter in our lives, in their lives, and the memories are countless.

So if you , Jeff and Amanda, are reading this… congrats!!! I know you will provide a wonderful home for this little guy.

More to follow on the new saga in our lives. Love always, The proud Grandma

43 Things Tags: grandma,baby,children,blessing,life

 

Mrs Justa and the bullies

Have you ever been in a situation

where you felt the only reason the other person was tough was because there was a wall, a window , a separator between you and them.

 

The bird was being pretty tough

as the cat was looking into the cage. Oh yeah ,the bird was chirping, and pulling on the tie for the cover of the cage, like he is laughing at the cat,the cat only separated by a wire wall, but to the bird , he was acting like he was in Fort Knox.

Another example happened to me the other day.

I am driving to work, minding my own business , and a school bus is in front of me. All of the sudden these kids are looking out the back making weird faces at me. They are sticking their tongues out, putting their fingers on their ears and flapping their tongues up and down. At first I felt embarrassed,inferior, like I wanted to revert back to the days of childhood, when the bullies would make fun of me and I would cry and run away.

My mind however made it past that feeling and I felt amused at the thought

of how tough would they be if there was not a bus window and a car windshield in between us. I envisioned following the bus to school, and standing at the door as they came to get out. I imagined their frightened faces, but I knew if I really did that, someone would nab me for a child predator or something.

On the way to work I sometimes choose to take the interstate.

This is another example of how tough people act when they are in their cars. Young whipper-snappers in their parents cars, people trying to come onto the highway, they cut me off, or ride my back bumper, they swerve in and out of traffic, but then down the road a piece, when they are fortunate to be pulled over by a police man, look at them in their cars. They are wimps, with scared looks on their faces, I can almost hear them saying  “Sorry officer” , or ” What did I do sir”, wimps!

So you bullies of the world , we can see through you !!!

You are marshmallows under your tough gestures.

For all of us more mellow folks, just breath in , relax and let the bullies of the world get what is due them. Love, Cindy

43 Things Tags: bullies,driving,being tough,wimps

 

Mrs Justa wonderin

Can you imagine living in this place? Can you imagine cleaning this place? How about heating it? Or trying to find your keys? This was built in the 14th century, and it is still standing on the side of this mountain! Now look at the houses being thrown up today, how do you think they will compare to this in another 600 years?

I find it totally mind boggling that there are so many architecturally firm dynasties that are till standing from 700 years ago, and longer. Don’t you think it is amazing that the people who built this did so without a Rental Center to borrow a jack hammer, a scaffold, a crane, an automatic this or that. They stacked these boulders, they lined them up, they made window openings, and stairs, I am just blown away at the thought of how long it took, how heavy the pieces must have been, how huge! PLus there were rooms inside.

( courtesy of clipart.comNorman Castello Venere In Cecily )

They did not have Carhart jackets  for when it got cold, nor did they have work boots or Levis jeans. There were no fast food restaurants to grab some lunch at, or a Dunkin Donut to grab that morning cup of “Joe. I hate to tell everyone, but they don’t make people like they used to.

We are a pampered, spoiled , have no idea what really hard labor is, group of individuals. Sure we go to work, and toil physically, mentally, sometimes both, but how would you handle climbing that wall to line the next boulder up?  I do not think they waited for a good day to build it in a jiff, this would take days on end, devotion, commitment. I am sure no one said, oops– it is 4:30, that is all I work till, see ya in the AM.

I am sure that they did not think about what was in it for them, or have the “that’s not my job” attitude. I am even thinking they probably did not run each other off the path to work. As good as I think my work ethic is, I can not come close to the ethics these people must have had. There is a lot to be said about the world back then, I wonder how many of us could survive for even a day back then? Justa wonderin- Love Cindy

43 Things Tags: castle,work ethic,the 14th century

 

Mrs. Justa thinking of lighthouses

For some reason I just love light houses.

A lighthouse guides those from being lost. A lighthouse stands erect no matter what the forces of nature are. It is a beacon in the night, and majestic by day. A lighthouse has no prejudices, it is there to help out anyone, to show them the way. For those of us who believe in God, a lighthouse reminds me of God, providing us guidance to show us the way, never giving up, believing we will see the light.

(courtesy of Clip Art.com)

Have you ever climbed to the top of a light house?

To see afar, over the waters , whether it be on the ocean , a lake or across a Cape. It amazes me, that there were people who climb up and down the light house frequently. Me, I have probably climbed 2 in my whole life. And each time, I was amazed at the view, at the sturdiness and security I felt, but more so, the pride that the lighthouse keeper portrayed.

I was born in Bridgeport Ct,

54 1/2 years ago, and back in that time, the lighthouses were more available then they are now in some parts of New England. We lived in a flat near the ocean, but far enough away, that we could not see it with out going to it. It was always a special time to see the lighthouses. I felt grounded and safe when I was by one. My youth made me curious, and made the light house people more welcoming due to my innocence and wonder.

A few years back,

I believe it was the 2nd to the last trip that my son Jeff and I took together. We went on a New England adventure. I wanted him to feel the lighthouses,the strength of them, the power, the durability,  the way I had remembered them. To walk up to them, to feel the sense of guidance they give. What a total disappointment it was, when the road I  chose to go , along the southern shore of Maine, the light houses belonged to people, they were fenced in their property, they were there but not tangible. It took us a long time to get to Portland, because the road we were on was crowded and slow moving. When we arrived in Portland, we finally got to a lighthouse no one had claimed. It was open to the public, and we could climb up it, but by the time we got there, we were bummed from the long journey .

I have no idea

if the people who have their houses and their fences built and encompassing the lighthouses if they run the lighthouses. It just seemed so selfish to me, so greedy, such a loss of an image I have treasured in my mind.

Oh I am sure there are lighthouses out there, with the watchman that shines the pathway for the men and women at sea. I just wish Jeff could have shared the sense of wonder and admiration I have for the light houses.

I want to be to others as a light house is to those on the water.

I live my life in a manner that I try to lead, try to comfort and try to be a beacon for others in need. Sometimes I fail though, sometimes I can not find the strength to fulfill that desire, but I am stubborn, and will keep on trying . May this find you well, Love, Cindy

43 Things Tags: light houses,New England,beacon,reflecting,guidance