Mrs Justa….Life with a purpose

Abraham Lincoln:

And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.

Life, we are all here for a purpose. We may have more then one purpose. What is your reason to be? What will you put into each year to make it the best it can be?

Life, I do not know for sure why I am here. Different times in my life, gave different purposes.

At one point I was the older sister, guiding my younger brothers and sisters through their younger years.  I lived to teach Sunday School when I was a teen, and to babysit . To run a teen center program to bring activities and music to the teens in the Town of Clay.

Then later to make peoples photos the best I could as I worked in photo finishing for 11 years of my life. Yep those thousands of people mailed in  their film to us for 99 cents a roll. And I took such pride to make sure the color and presentation of each photo was like a professional shot.

After that it was marriage, to be the best wife I could be. And then I was here to be a mom. And in that there have been many challenges , but I gave it my best shot.

I think I have been around to try to be the best wife I can to my 2nd husband of many years now, and to continue to be a good mom, and now a grandmother.

I believe I was meant to be a nurse, and tried to make each patient the most comfortable I could in the very stressful days of hospital admissions. Then in the physician office role, I tried to make sure no patient was left not knowing an answer to informational about their lab work, or x rays, I took pride in returning every call . And I took great pride in listening to them as they came in for visits.

I now do my best as an administrative nurse. I listen to the callers, try to help them as best I can. I work hard at managing the people in the department I am in, and try to be the boss I wished I had had in other jobs.

Are there things you do that can make people smile? Make them feel good?

Brandon is so young, but he brings joy to everyone around him. He is fulfilling a purpose in life .

In church I might sing a song every 2-3 months and when we have gone out to karaoke I maybe signed up to sing one or 2 songs. I try to find songs with a message that I feel is important, a song I sing because I feel the song.

And I think I was meant to share things with others, like photos and thoughts.

I believe I was meant to take care of my house and not hire out for someone else to do it. In my past I have lived in other peoples homes. I have lived in a home where there were people who did not clean up after themselves at all, and left food and clothing all over the place. Me being in someone else’s home, I could not actually clean their house for them, but the in some of these places, the extended stay there, made me more determined to never leave food or clothing laying around. I often wonder if I was exposed to that environment to see the importance of not existing like that for life.

I think I have other things that are in the plans for my life, plans that are unclear, swirling in front of me yet I can not focus on them. As in this photo , I can see the trickles of things to come, but can’t see the beyond. Plans I am unaware of , yet I try to live each day to the fullest. I hope I can fulfill all the plans that are there for this one life I live.

What is on the horizon for you?

What do you do with this life you have been blessed with?

Do you tell the people in your life your love for them?

Do you thank God for what you have? Do you soul search for your talents and gifts that you can embellish on? Live each day to the fullest.             My love to all, Mrs Justa……Cindy

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Mrs Justa and choices….

Did you every feel like the world and stuff in your life is so huge that you are just a dot in the whole scheme of things?

Did you ever feel that there seems to be insurmountable odds and it looks easier to give in then give it a try? Like this duck in this photo. The massive amount of water, the large waves carrying him to where ever they chose to go, and yet he swims, against currents, against odds and close to challenges. Life can be like this rock to this duck, tempting a terrible fate, yet creating a chance to stand up to it. 

What rocks are in your life? What rocks are at your work?

I have rocks in my life, I have challenges that I do not feel comfortable facing, and some at work I might prefer to avoid.

People, tasks. fears, projects, things that have no guarantees, and a lifetime of moments I can recall where I took a challenge only to feel it was incorrect. And other challenges I took, and am really glad I did.

It is easier to be the ship in the harbor, then the one that dares to sail the seas. So I wonder, what challenges are you not taking, what rock it looking at you and instead of taking the chance of conquering the rock- does the fear of smashing into it keep you safe in the harbor. This wave represents the times I took the challenge. 

 

But this pond, this bridge, this raft remind me of times I let the challenge stop me. This pond may be life’s regrets. The what ifs of my life.

The whys did I do the stuff I did. I went to a class and took the test for Air Traffic controller- I got good grades in it, where would I be had I taken that job? The training was in Colorado. But I jumped, I took the class, and then when the opportunity was there… when I was looking at that rock.. I swam over the waves the other way.

I see my niece in the Navy, and at what a great step this was for her… what if I had faced that challenge when the armed forces were encouraging us to enlist? Would I have still become a nurse ( it was my life long dream to be a nurse… ) or would I have become something different?  

What rocks are in your life that you run away from?

What oceans have you left for the comfort of the ponds of life? May you face your fears, go for the challenges, and make rewarding times in your life.

Love to all, Mrs Justa…. Cindy

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Mrs Justa and a terribly stressful day better by coming home

On a day like today, looking at photos like these makes the world seem okay. This is little Mackenzie, taken about a month ago, so I am sure she looks a lot different now. But this is a little person, faced with many stressors that most of us have not had to face, being born 10 weeks early , less then 3 pounds, and she fought to be. Look at this miracle, look at this precious little child who was held in Gods arms and brought through some tough, potentially dangerous days.

And another sample of a photo of a precious child that erases  all the turmoil or problems is this one of Brandon.

He has a smile that makes all the stuff disappear. Another miracle, hand held by God through 6 weeks of prematurity. Both of these kids could have had so many complications, yet they came through without much difficulty. There were times for Brandon when he had terrible problems with his digestive system, but as time gets further away from those times, well they lessen in the severity of them.

Today is winding down, and my head is spinning from so much that happened today. So many employees with stressful times, and trying to make things work when it feels like you  can not get a breath. I am blessed with terrific employees, and understanding boss, and the ability to laugh when the going gets tough.

I am blessed to not have had snow to drive in tonight, that probably would have pushed me over the edge! I am blessed with a husband who understands me, grandchildren I just love to pieces, children that I admire, and their families I treasure. I am blessed with a large family of my own who I think the world of. So when I add this all together, I am ready to tackle another day like today. Love to all, count your blessings, Mrs Justa…Cindy

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Mrs Justa thanking the veterans….

Thank you to everyone of you who gave your life to make mine safe.

Thank you to every one of you who are currently serving in the military, with the pledge to keep America safe, to do your best to God and our Country.

Thank you to every one of you who signed up to serve your country and dedicated years of your life to that cause.

Thank you to ever one who lost a loved one protecting our freedom.

Thank you to everyone who came back injured, physically , emotionally, and have the memories of things you saw, memories of pain only you know how much you have endured, for us… Americans…citizens of this incredible country we live in. Many who have nightmares of days gone by. Many who came back a little different then when they left.

I watched this man as he sat, his back to the restaurant, eating his hot dog and watching the world go by. It was a very wonderful day, sunny, bright, and not too cold.

His flag waving in the slight breeze, I am wondering what he gave up to make it possible to sit in the open and eat his hot dog. I wonder what happened to him. I honored him for what he has done. Think about it, a veteran offers his own life for people he does not know. A veteran risked their own life for people in another country. Offered to hand over their own time of their lives for their country in which they live. We all have individual amounts of time in our lives. And a veteran gives away that time knowing that time is not every going to be given back.

I truly believe that each person who has served or is serving this country is having extra angels on your shoulder. What a noble thing to do. Knowing to join the service, that you will have weeks of boot camp, beating the heck out of your psyche and your body… and you do it for many reasons. I was thinking about it as I freely was able to drive home on the highway, and go to an ATM, and use a cell phone, and walk around work, and go to a Wal Mart. I am thinking about our freedom each time we turn on a TV station, or listen to a radio station, see a flag waving in the wind, each time I go to church, and each time I get to go to work.

I thank you, each and everyone of you. It is only because of you, that I have the life I have. Happy Veterans Day. Love, Mrs Justa  alias Cindy

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Mrs Justa and SCREAMING

Someone once wrote “Shouting to make your kids obey is like using your horn to steer your car, and…..you get the same results.”

I was in a store with Courtney on Saturday, we ran in to get some stuff for tacos. There was a woman in there with a stroller, 2 kids walking next to it and about a 1 yr old in the stroller.

This woman is screaming at her kids. Move here, move there, don’t touch, “stop crying or I will give you something to cry about. “ Yelling at these kids. Telling them they are going to go straight to bed when they get home, no dinner threats, and taking away toys.

The weird thing is the kids were not appearing to be doing anything wrong. They were kinds dragging their feet as they walked, and even stranger was  the screaming appeared to be background noise to them. To me, I was getting angry at her. I came real close to saying something… ( but didn’t want to get yelled at myself!)))

I hate screaming, never lived with it, never liked it. Am totally uncomfortable around it. My mom was a soft spoken woman who if she said “Damn it” we all grabbed anything that appeared like a dust rag and started dusting whatever was in front of us, or we would straighten out what ever was stacked on the end table near us. It was an instant reaction to do something to please her. There was one Christmas Eve at her house, all of my brothers and sisters were there- we were all in our adult years with children of our own. Mom was in the kitchen, and let out a “damn it”… we all sat straight upright and were each looking for something we could do to please her. We laughed after we realized this response was imbedded in our inner most selves.

My dad was a more hollering type person. But he traveled so he would have us all meet him as he came in on Thursdays nights with the shopping list of things the other kids did wrong while he was gone.  My  mom tolerated, my dad spanked. With his hand, a firm hit on the fanny, one – enough to let us know we needed to straighten up.

We did not live in a yelling environment, so when a voice was raised, we straightened up. If anyone yells at me, I sometimes start laughing out of fear. ( If that makes any sense) I have to really concentrate not to laugh in their face. If I succeed, then the next emotion is crying… because it scares me. I feel my heart flip flopping, I physically feel my body tremble.

But these kids in the store- I do not think this woman’s intolerable screaming phased them. I wanted to reach down , swoop them up, and run out of the store with them. However, I am sure when Mark saw me and Courtney running towards the car with 3 small children, he probably would have taken off leaving us in his  dust.

Life is so short, I say that often, and what we do each day of life when the kids are young, well that is their example for life as an adult. Our behavior is how they see the shadows on the road ahead in life. Our emotions, our words, our actions all become the pavement on their road of life. What example do you set? Are you a yeller? Do you say unkind things to the kids? Or to your spouse, your significant other? Kids watch how we are. They see us as role models. That is pretty big of a responsibility.

Please take a deep breath, go for a walk, separate yourself from the frustration for a minute before you say things you can not take back. And save the yelling, the screaming , for that emergency… not for day to day living. Treat every person as if it the last time you will see them…. How will they remember you? Live in peace. Love to all Mrs Justa…. alias Cindy

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Mrs Justa a mom… a grandma

Life is a circle, life is always turning, We can go to the same place yet it is different.

Same people, different roles.Same leaves, but change appearance.

This photo reminds me of the changing that time makes. Green leaves turned older and curled up and crisp. Cat tails in the middle reminding us that seasons are changing.

This was brought to the surface today when Jeff came over with Brandon. Amanda is home ill with the viral yuck that is going around, she is feeling pretty crappy. Mark and I had bought a thermostat for our furnace and we thought we might be able to install it- heck it said “Easy Installation” but that does not necessarily mean easy for me and Mark. So we had asked Jeff if he could at some time help us put it in, and he said sure, and today was the day. So we planned dinner for the 3 of them, and unfortunately Amanda was not feeling well enough to come over.

So Jeff came over with Brandon, and about 1/2 hr into their visit he sees me pull some chocolate chip cookies from the oven. He said “ This is like when we used to go to grandmas house.”  I thought for a quick second and said- “And you are at grandmas house”  We both looked at each other and realized, that a transition has taken place – it happened quickly, in just a year- because before Brandon was born- Jeff was coming to Mom and Marks house— but now it is Brandon’s grandma and grandpa’s house. And those chocolate cookies will be in Brandon’s mind as something special when he goes to grandmas house.

26 years from now Amanda and Jeff may have the same transformation that we realized today. It was weird. Jeff was remembering grandma- while I was being grandma. Seasons change , life goes on….. we become different as the seasons change.

Love to all, Mrs Justa — Cindy

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Mrs Justa and tough life

There is a grocery store we shop at that is a bag your own grocery place. Some folks buy bags, some will use the cardboard boxes that the stock people put on the counter as they empty them, some have reusable bags, there is a green container that people can donate bags to  for others to use and some people use them, or some people  take the cart out looking like this.

I have watched people go to their cars, open a trunk and individually put their groceries in whatever container they have in their car.

Today however, I watched as this woman, with a cart filled way above the edges (food and canned goods balancing on one another, and 4 cases of soda on the bottom shelf ) leave the store and head home with this incredibly full cart.

I felt bad for her , as she appeared to not be all there, maybe had some mental health disorder, maybe due to medications. And I felt puzzled that she did not take the used bags people put in the large container and just use them . She was talking to herself and laughing at times as she was in the store, and she had so many groceries in this cart, I am wondering what the heck she does when she gets home ! Individual groceries, carrying them into her home.

She appeared to have flannel or stretch pants on, loose shoes that flopped as she walked, a purse that kept falling off the mound of groceries and dropping in the road, and she had difficulty pushing the very full cart  over bumps and turning it. Her gait was slow, steady, but almost like it was an effort to take each step. Her hair hung below her shoulders and was stringy. I wondered about her life? Whose daughter is she? Is her mom still alive? Does she have any brothers or sisters? Any children? A spouse? A friend?

Here I sit, posting and feeling really sad for this image in my mind of this woman.  Wondering if she lives in a basement level or upper level home. Wondering how many stairs she has to individually carry these groceries. As my washer is cleaning the clothes, sheets and towels changed, the furnace heating the house, the crock pot simmering taco meat mix, a loving husband at my side, a special niece reading in the living room, a dog flopping around with his squeaky toys and wet tennis balls, and a cat nestled in the babies crib..I feel blessed,  and as I am about to wipe down the bathrooms and kitchen, and dust the house, sweep the floors,…I am wondering what she is doing right now.

I lit a candle for her, whomever she is. I am weird ..maybe.. but when I am touched by situations- I light candles for those involved.  She is one person I have lit my candle for today. There are others… but for this post, I dedicate it to her… whomever she is. What a tough appearing life she might have. Love to all, Cindy.. Mrs justa

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Mrs Justa and the HUGE home

How does this even seem possible? Look at this!!! Can you make one of these ??? And if you did how long would it take you. This sucker was HUGE. I mean HUGE! And it was made by bees!.

Bald faced hornets. They are nasty suckers but in retrospect I think I would be nasty too if I had to build a condo this size when I was only 3/4 of an inch to an inch long!! One 68th of an average  human height.

If the bee is 1 inch long and this was at least 3 feet long then this house was 36 times taller then its creator.

So now lets compare that to a person- average person 5’8” If we were to build a home proportionately to this it would be a house 204 feet tall… and now do it in a week, with no tools, ( put those Black and deckers away guys) no saw horses, no deliveries, no nothing but yourself… oh yeah, and it has to withstand all the weather problems and treats… can you do it???

I am amazed, I am stunned. I bet none of them sit on the branch and drink barley pops while they watch others work. They do not have cement mixers, but this looks like it has a surface healing of concrete paste. They must work together as a team.

I have felt like not doing something because I felt it was going to be too tough- these guys can’t hesitate- born, boom, build your home and protect it. And they do not take a long time to do it. We had one of these nests appear in a WEEK!! No tools, no blueprints, no

architectures, just leaves, twigs and mud put together by a 1 inch living thing.

What challenges do you face? Do you whine about the challenge and not do it. I do not think these guys have a choice. It is more a poof… they are born and have to be construction workers from the start.

Weight to lose, a project to undertake, what an inspiration this can be…

How can you not find this totally fascinating, impossible, but real… Life is fascinating..isn’t it?

Mrs Justa

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Mrs Justa and MOM

Moments we cherish in our lives. Like the birth of our children, the first step they take, watching them bring special creations home form school, their first tooth to come in, their first tooth to come out. Their first poopy in the toilet, their last diaper to be changed. Their first words, their first smile, their first Mothers Day Card that they actually did, their first I love You. I was blessed with one natural child of my own, And all of the above moments make me realize that being a mom is so very rewarding, so blessed a gift from God to be able to have these moments, gifts, just for me to feel with my child. Just for you to feel with your child.

In my mind I see back to times of rocking him and reading him books, watching him try to color with the really thick crayons, watching him sleep, having his little arms hug my neck, having him sleep on my shoulder, or seeing the sparkle in his eyes when I came to pick him up from day care. His giggle.. oh I can not even begin to describe that giggle. It was contagious, he had a lot of allergies as a child so when he giggled sometimes his throat would make a cracking sound and that would make him giggle more. I just would laugh and laugh. There are more moments to come, but none, I mean none will compare to  my dance with my son at his wedding.  I think this is because it was a moment when I knew he was starting a totally new chapter in his life, and I would always be mom, but he was now going to be someone’s husband. Same people we remain, but our roles change some.

I had been thinking about him and his wife and their child , and each time I see them together, I see them display the same joy I recall feeling. There is nothing in this life of mine that will ever compare to being a mom. For some reason God believed I was able to take the challenge and run with it, to raise one of His children, and I must say I gave it my all. I always wanted to be the mom  a kid would be proud to have, and I think in most ways I was. I always tried to give him room to grow and learn, but still made him accountable for everything he did.  I am not the smothering mother, and I swore I would not be an annoying grandmother or mother-in-law. I am there for them, but not so close they feel crowded by me. 

I guess I am thinking so much about this, as today begins another year since my mom and dad died. They both died on 11-3- my dad in 1963 and my mom in 1998. As that day comes to be, I remember them and I miss them so much… but it causes me a moment to  reflect on my own motherhood. Those are times no one can take from me, nor any of you who are parents. These moments are special, they are really one reason why I believe I was created, to be his mom. Mrs Justa…. Cindy

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Mrs Justa and the Swine Flu

I am watching more and more people walking around with their heads hanging low, coughing, and trying to find energy to take the next step. There noses drooping and red. Needing to drink a trunk full of water.

The County Medical Examiner states if you have the flu it is the Swine flu. Yuck, Swine flu. It sounds not fun.

People have kids with high fevers, everyone is worried about one another. Heck last pay check we all had waterless sanitizing soap with our checks.

Some thoughts to share from the  US world news and world report…

“7 Swine Flu Facts You Need to Know Now”

November 03, 2009 02:56 PM ET | Deborah Kotz

from today….”

1)Hand sanitizer works better than soap when it comes to the flu virus. 

2)  Certain warning signs warrant an emergency room visit.

  The American College of Emergency Physicians says that most folks with flulike symptoms (fever, sore throat, chills, cough, and fatigue) don’t need to head to the emergency room—or even to the doctor. But people should seek out emergency care immediately if they experience the following symptoms: difficulty breathing or chest pain; rapid breathing (over 24 breaths per minute); purple or blue discoloration of the lips; inability to keep liquids down; signs of dehydration (headache, extreme thirst, dizziness, or decreased urination); confusion; or convulsions or seizures. Pregnant women, those over 65, and those with certain health conditions (such as obesity, organ transplant, diabetes, and lung problems) also should seek medical attention from their doctor or a walk-in clinic, even if they have mild symptoms.” So please be careful, if you are feeling like an elephant, bones heavy, fever and tired… take time for yourself. Relax, drink fluids, ( non alcoholic and not dairy) – you can call your docs, but they may not want you going in.
It is a virus, it is contagious, and we need to all be smart.

Wash your hands, cover your mouth when you cough and sneeze, know that you can get it from an object someone who has it has touched. Have some waterless soap in your car, ATM.s , door handles, shopping carts, all can be objects of concern. Good luck to all, — Love to all, Cindy alias Mrs justa

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Mrs Justa and Ethical Dilemmas

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Ethical dilemma, moral decisions, life and challenges. I just finished a book that was about an ethical dilemma. Wikepedia defines this as “ a complex situation that will often involve an apparent mental conflict between moral imperatives, in which to obey one would result in transgressing another.” This was definitely one of those situations.

The parents of this book had a child with leukemia. And to save this child’s life they knew that they will need a perfect genetic match to donate blood, bone marrow, and most recently a kidney. Well they conceive a child that they had via invitro fertilization  to make sure it would be a genetic perfect match.

For years when the leukemia daughter needed genetic donations, the planned daughter was the one who was exposed to a multitude of procedures, to save her sister. Well this child grows into a 13 year old, and her sister now needs a kidney. The 13 year old does not want to go thru any more surgeries, or so the story leads us to believe, and she sues her parents for emancipation. So she can make her own decisions.  This brought to me a lot of deep thought. About how as an ever evolving society, how we may not value human life and choices. All human life, not just one side of it. Did anyone stop to think of the pain this child conceived for the purpose of donating, how much pain she would go through? Did anyone consider how she must have felt self worth wise, that she was not a daughter, but instead a donor.

This then led my mind to go into the world of the hospital or nursing home. When we sometimes may make choices. My mother in law was in her 90s when she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. She was taken into surgery for a hysterectomy, the long and short of it was the surgeon found upon opening her that the cancer was spread throughout her abdomen, around her bowels. This poor women ended up with a colostomy and at least one other surgery. Never really had the quality of life she was accustomed to prior to the hysterectomy and everything that followed. She was a special lady, so dainty, so private, and here she is, her hands partially affected with arthritis, having difficulty attaching a colostomy bag, more difficulty accepting it and emptying it. For that last year, would she not have been better being kept safe and comfortable? I sometimes wonder where we loose the ethical, moral thoughts and take on trying to be God. It  is tough, tough to see someone die, and in  that last year she had she passionately  finished a HUGE needlepoint of wolves heads for her grandson… my son.  Would she have been able to do this without the surgery, I think she would have, but I can not know for sure… I have to wonder though, why we support a hysterectomy on a person over 90 years old. Maybe that was her way to leave this world for another place.

I think we need to stop and really look at the whole picture.

It is tough, I was a part of an ethical committee at a hospital I worked at, and it is tough. For it is easy to get tunnel vision and not see the whole picture. This book got me thinking about that. Maybe I needed it to make me think. Love to all, and memories and prayers to my mother in law who died about 9 years ago. Cindy… Mrs Justa

 

Mrs Justa and life going on

Looking back on life. In the rear view mirror in my mind. Where I have been, where I am going. What is crowding the images in the rear view mirror?

Some things are current, like did I need to do a garden? It was fun watching the things become real, but it sucked the disappointment of the squash bores and tomato blit destroying my dream. And the sunflowers- whew they grew pretty tall, I had visions of pulling the seeds out of the flower and roasting them . But each time I checked they were not quite ready, then the next time I checked the birds has eaten them. So all in all, it was fun, interesting, but the harvest did not equal the labor.

Living in NY State. I have done that most of my life. But there is a whole world out there. I tended to want to be where the roots are from my life. I wonder if that was the right choice at times. We look at life and say if we had not done this, then that would not have happened, and I truly believe we are destined to be where we are. So I guess NY is not such a bad choice. Everywhere has good and bad points. In the rear view mirror I see all the different cities I have lived in. But if I had not done what I had done- there would not be Jeff, or Amanda, or Brandon. And I would not know Mark, Adrianne, Josh and Mackenzie. So I think I did make good decisions.

Professions- I think I was destined to be a nurse. However I can not say if I was destined to be in the business side of it. I love what I do, but I really think that the clinical side was even a better fit. Reasons brought me  into the business side, and I do not regret it… but each time I see a nurse in scrubs, a hospital floor, I feel the void for that type of work…  – it brings a warmth to my heart.

Choices in life, paths I chose to take,  all crammed in my rear view mirror of life. I like where I am at in life, I guess that is a good thing. I can not imagine living and not liking where I ended up.

What is to the left, what is to the right. This is how life looks going forward. I want to watch each step, make sure before I take the path I feel confident in each step.

What is your next step? What do you see in the future?  Hopefully the rocks are firm as I proceed, I do not want to fall backwards. Go cautiously, go optimistically, and believe in yourself. Love to all, Mrs justa

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Mrs Justa and Happy Halloween

Halloween, a time for us to be something we are not. Maybe something we admire, something we wish we were, something spooky, something sweet. Ya never know what you will see at Halloween.

We went for our regular Saturday morning breakfast our at a local restaurant in town. There is a guy that works there who is very tall, thin and looks a little like Morgan Freeman.

About 8 months ago we were in there and an older lady at the  next table looked at him and said.. has anyone told you that you look like Morgan Fairchild.

Well quite a few of us in the restaurant got a laugh out of it, because there is a big difference between Morgan Freeman and Morgan Fairchild.

Well I had to laugh , because this morning, he had water balloon breasts, a long blond wig, gold sparkly stuff on his arms and neck, a short skirt and v neck red woman’s top on. I could not resist saying that “ now you do look like Morgan Fairchild!”

So as this is Halloween, I wonder if he did this because of that day 8 months ago?? Or if it was just coincidental the long blonde hair and sleeky outfit.

Now this restaurant in not huge- it is a rather snug fit around the table. One of the other employees came in as a ballerina. But it was an inflatable costume.

There must be a battery operated blower in the costume, and it sticks out pretty far. Every time she went to clear a table , her costume overlapped onto the table and got into the food. It was a poor choice for the environment, but a great costume. It was funny. She is not a tiny woman to begin with, and this costume really was a good choice for her. But she did not succeed in wearing it too long, while we were there another waitress had to wash off the tutu because it had gotten into dirty plates.

Halloween has opened the door for people to be imaginative.

 

I have had a few flops for costumes. I thought they came out good– but weather made them not such a good choice. One year I got these really thick absorbent  brown towels , white felt, and made Jeff an M&M bag. his Mask was a paper plate painted with green M&M color poster paint. This was a great costume….until it started pouring. He was 7 yrs old, and the further we walked, the greened his face got ( as the poster paint ran in the rain) and the more buckled his knees got. Lets just say those towels really were absorbent.

One year – he was 5- we made him a dice. Well is snowed that night, and he could not see where he was walking because the box stuck out so far. We were on a sidewalk in Geneva and he tripped. It was a decline- so here is this kid- arms and legs flailing as he is sliding in his box down the sidewalk. It was pretty funny- not for him. But as he looks back – I am sure he can see the humor in it now.

So be safe everyone.. and Happy Halloween. Remember at 2AM – the clocks get turned back .  Love to all… Cindy

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Mrs Justa and changes

This week has been tough. Yes trying. I was thinking of an analogy of playing ping pong with 2 people at once. Picture that, two paddles in your hands and watching 2 ping pong balls at once. I wonder how long I could actually do that. (this is from google images..)

 

In the environment I work in, the days fly by. I am not kidding you, I look at the clock and it is 3PM. This week I have been at work between 6:30-7 each morning, and not hopping back in my car till 6:- 7:20 PM. I do not feel like I just was there 12 hrs, but on the way home I begin to feel my brain start to unwind. All the information, all the different things happening, I am not quite sure how I juggle it all,… oh I find myself making some silly blurps.. like getting up on a mission- and having 2 people stop me to ask me questions, then not knowing where I was going. Gone- Zip… I need to be like this dude and have post- its on the brain. (this is from google images..)

Life is ever changing, and right now we have new business coming on which means changes, we have existing clients with amendments being added more changes… there are changes every day, ways to improve processes, or needs to change the way certain things are handled.

As you know some people take change with a challenge. Me I find it a challenge to present it in such a way that it is not threatening or overwhelming. And I like doing it. I think I find a kinda of peace in solving potential situations before they happen. Knowing there is no set pattern, no guarantee.

Yes life is full of changes- and tonight- even though he told me I could not take a photograph of the surprise… Markie made dinner. Wow , how different to walk in the door with dinner on the table, the aroma of the food and the seasoning he experimented with, a fresh cold glass of milk… changes. That was special.. that was nice… and he did tell me it was like Halley’s comet… hee hee… I am a patient woman… I can wait for my next surprise meal after Halley comes to pay a visit to the celestial skies. But it was nice tonight. A healthy sized portioned hamburger, 1/2 a baked potato, 3 bean  salad and even a few perogies. He "done good" as he will say. Thanks Markie… it has been a tough week, and you just made it a little better.

I am not long for this evening… need to get some rest to go at it again tomorrow. ( Not complaining… just stating that this week has challenged the brain) Got my flu shot today at work… YES>>> we were worried cuz the supply is getting low. Plan to take a hot shower, my book for a bit with the YANKEES game on.. and get up early again tomorrow ….yep life is good. Love to all , Mrs justa!

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Mrs Justa getting the punches…BAM BAM

Okay I used to think this was a cool toy, one that every kid should have, one that helped kids take out frustrations and tire themselves out at the same time. But it hit me this week ( no pun on words) that I am this toy! And all angles of life are aiming for my cute red nose!

On Friday I had a little bit of trash in the car garbage can, so I thought I would throw it in the dumpster at work, as it was leaking a little. So as I opened the gate to the dumpster ,  Then BAM , the gate latch dropped down on my arm and grabbed it. YOUCH! I have a bruise that really hurts. I was just glad I had 2 layers of shirts on, or I think  it would have eaten my arm!

Then BAM Saturday a special man died, and he is the dad of someone I have known for 46 years. I feel bad for her, feel bad for her family. Sunday I spoke with her about everything she is going thru, she is a good person, it is hard to see her hurt.

Then BAM Monday, at work we find out we are getting a SURPISE visit it going to happen in 1 week by an agency that inspects every aspect of our department. AHHH it is so stressful when they come, not because we do not do everything correctly, but because it is like someone coming to visit in your home who is a neat freak, or very higher level of finances then I am. Fortunately we do audits every month, and we train and train again to be sure everyone is consistent in their determinations and processes.

BAM this morning the radio in the bathroom won’t turn on… bummer… I like to listen to it every morning as I am getting ready for work.

BAM the eye doctor talking about needing to do cataract surgery sometime in the future. ( Kinda creepy thinking about him removing the lenses in my eyes and replacing them with fake ones) What if I sneeze- would the lenses pop out?

 

( above is from GOOGLE IMAGES_ after and before surgery)

I remember taking care of pts that had this surgery done,   and if the room was dark and we were going in with our little flashlights to check the IV fluid level or see how the meds were running- if the pt was awake- their eyes glowed like a deer’s eyes at night. The doc does state that when he does it, I might not need my glasses any more… ( wow a non-BAM maybe)

BAM BAM today, checking everything, inspecting all the nooks and crannies of our every day responsibilities. BAM BAM- employees out because of flu, or sick family member, BAM seems like peoples anxieties are at a high.

BAM BAM- Mark and I used to think we were part of the “A” list of a certain few people… but we are finding out we have been bumped off the "A" list. ( You know who you are…. )Hee Hee

BAM BAM BAM I can’t wait till tomorrow !. The anxiety at work is high, the full moon is around the corner… actually due on the day of our visitor. YIKES> BAM BAM.

I feel like I should have black and blue eyes. Watch out for my cute red nose when you wind up for the next slug. I hope your week is going better then mine !. Love to all, Mrs Justa ….

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Mrs Justa and faith

We all are so different, yet so similar. We all have agendas of some sort, we all have goals we set forth to do. To each of us there is a reason for the goals, and to each of us we have our own levels of comfort and determination.

I found this scene just intriguing as we watched this man and his dog travel out into the bay, which was at the mouth of the ocean. It was a boat smaller then I would feel comfortable on, and a boat I imagine I would have trouble climbing in and out of. I am terrified of small boats. I wasn’t always, but one time, long ago, I was at a church camp in the Adirondacks, in April, and there was a boat like this one, and the guys were telling me to get in, you step on the side with one foot, and then swing in your other leg real quick… It was a chilly early spring day, the water crystal clear, me in a HEAVY cardigan sweater that had been my dads- I kept it after he died, it brought me comfort. Well I got the foot on the one side and the boat toppled leaving me sitting on the bottom of the lake unable to move. The comfortable sweater was holding me down. I could see everyone pointing and laughing at me, but I was stuck… Once the guys knew I was not moving they jumped in and saved me, so rest assured, I lost my Faith in those guys, in row boats, in a moment it was gone. So I know I would not copy this man and dog in a similar adventure with our dog. But what freedom they had, they do not appear to be lacking in faith.

We all have faith in what we do, or we would not do it.

Who do you believe in?

Who do you trust?

Who do you call family?

Who is your friend?

What kind of friend are you?

This man, I felt he was grounded. If he had not other friends, this dog was his friend. He must of had faith to venture out in the water like that. I wonder if that was his livelihood? If he lived simple, and treasured moments instead of things.

What do you treasure? What could you live without? Life is so special…. I think sometimes there are moments when we must all learn to have more  faith.

My love to all… and peace to MR Crosby, who passed on to his reward last evening. He is in a better place. A place without suffering or pain. Thanks to him for some special memories, he taught me how to have friends I did not know, and to have faith. … Love Cindy.. alias Mrs justa.

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Mrs Justa and the Fall

I wish I could claim these as products of my garden, each one looking perfect yet having it’s own characteristics. Fall, pumpkins, Halloween, apples, wood burning fires, crackling of leaves , cool breezes, frost on the windows. I went by this pumpkin wagon today and the pumpkins have been replaced by those tiny squash. As I drove by this wagon I wondered what each of these pumpkins look like now. How many have the normal triangular eyes and nose carved in them with a toothy smile. How many have really spooky faces . Are some faces just drawn on the outside of the shell, so that the pumpkin could get cooked up later? 

That was what I started to do a few years back, not even carve it. Then after Halloween I still have a pumpkin to boil down and mash and freeze. It was great in pumpkin pie, having it as a dinner squash and pumpkin bread or cookies. We have not yet gotten a pumpkin, I do not know if we will. I did get a few bags of Halloween candy in anticipation of the6 kids we got last year returning. We are out in an area with no street lights, and I think some folks get spooked coming to the door. So again I will probably have a bag full of candy to bring to work. 

Fall is not long enough for me, next week is already Halloween, already November 1st. A time when I watch  the brilliant colors of the trees disappear as the trees prepare for the bitter cold winds for the next few months, the reds, yellows, oranges and purples are all turning brown, the snow tires are on, the rock salt close by, the shovel is in the doorway of the shed, the plow man ready to help us clear a way for work, scarves  and gloves will be washed and ready, boots in the front of the closet, ice scrapers and snow brooms need to be pulled from the rafters and winter coat cleaned. The cycles of life, the changes of each of us. Are you different today then you were last year at this time? Are you more pessimistic, or optimistic? Are you thinner or fatter? Are you more bitter or more compassionate? We too change. We have our seasons… Are you the best you can be? this is a good time to look in the mirror of life, see everything and see if you like what you see. Do not let life take you by the horns.. you need to take life by the horns. Peace, warmth, faith, Love Mrs Justa … alias Cindy

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Mrs Justa and death and dying

Today was one filled with emotions. I mean heart wrenching, tear in the eyes emotions. I have this fire to symbolize a VERY LARGE candle for all those hurting.

First for the family whose 7 year old, beautiful little girl who was found in a landfill in Georgia. May the perpetrator burn in Hell. May the family find some sort of strength in one another and in prayer.

Then at work- bam bam bam. I felt like I was in a boxing match with people throwing terrible events in their lives at me. I feel horrible for each of these people. One person came into my cubicle, she looked pale, tired, troubled. She said.. “I want to tell you something, but I can not discuss it. I have to say it and leave.” So I said “Okay”

She said “ Tobie ( her 13 yr old dog) took a turn for the worse last night, and I had to put him down. “ Then she turned and left. BAM— I felt her pain… it sucks to have to put an animal to sleep. It will take days before she will be able to talk. I will respect her wishes and give her time. She knows I am there for her.

Then a woman that works with me… my golly we have known each other since 1963!! She came in and sat down and very softly said. “ Dad is dying.. he has a week to live." BAM !!! Her dad is the most wonderful man I know. ( Except for Mark of course!) He was a very good business man, a compassionate man, and I have loved him for the special things he did for my family since I was 10. My dad died suddenly when I was 10. He knew my dad for only 6 weeks before he died. Yet he helped us out of compassion for years . My dad’s death left my mom with 6 kids, and no formal education. She struggled to keep us together as she went to college and earned her teaching degree. We lived on Social security. We were not wealthy at all. This girls father owned a local grocery store, and on holidays he would help my mom out by giving her some money for food, or he would assign each of us kids an isle in his grocery store, we had a certain number of minutes he gave us each a shopping a cart. HE told us we were to  get food from our designated isle – and at the end  of the isle we were to bring our cart to the front of the store- – mom always had the meat area..we met in the front  of the store and he had my mom cash out, then he signed the receipt. We were not greedy, we were thrifty and did not choose extra stuff, we were very conscientious of this gift. HE did this until my mom had her degree and was able to pay for things without a struggle. my mom was proud, and he respected that, there were so many things he did , for no other reason then he saw a need and felt good fulfilling it. So to him, I dedicate this post, and I pray his end of life will go smoothly.

Then a third co worker came in, she has just recently moved to Syracuse from Florida, and her buddy, her 11 yr old dog, has been having trouble walking. She took her to the vets, this afternoon the vet told her the dog has bone cancer. So we wept about that too.

Boy, what a tough day for all these folks. Life was never supposed to be easy… and whew it was not today… and I am just the listener.. although I feel for them each. And for my friend whose dad is dying, he was like a dad to me in a way. Peace to all, love always, Mrs Justa…

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Mrs Justa taking steps

The little engine that could. To trust in yourself to take that next step you think is going to be hard. To have the determination to take one step at a time, knowing that you can achieve anything you set your mind to.

Brandon is meeting the walking challenge with a smile. It is funny because he will sometimes sway to the left or right, but he gets going in the right direction eventually. he is a supreme example of the will to move on.

This was in the evening after a day of not taking his naps cuz he has not been feeling very well, and he still has the smile that warms the heart.

And little Mackenzie, she is a believer too. She has fought odds and kept on plugging. From a 2 pound baby to 6 pounds in this photo. It will be neat to see how her personality starts to come out. She can make more contortions with her face, she is very expressive.  It is hard to believe that just a year ago, Brandon was that same size.  They bring hope and faith to the surface for me. They show me the miracle of life. They remind me that life is more then work, more then chores. Life is about the children, family, love, and sharing.

Work is really busy right now, and not going to get any less busier in the days to come. I love the people I work with, and I guess in a small way we have the same will to move on. Sometimes it is hard to do everything first… stacking things and knowing they all are important. We are faced with all sorts of challenges and first steps at work too.  I am not sure we make them with the same smile that Brandon does his steps, but we should.

Life is too short… we need to learn from the children to have that faith, that love, that thrill of taking steps. May you find peace and faith in the steps that lie ahead.

Love, Mrs justa…

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Mrs justa a granny

Okay, I think I am over the Walgreens episode. So I will return to my normal self/ Whatever normal self self is. I can not begin to tell you how much I enjoy being a grandmother. We went over yesterday evening for a dinner. Brandon is walking pretty well now, and tottles all around. He has this smile where he squinches up his face almost like he just sucked on a lemon. 

He went on an excursion to Washington DC with his dad, mom  and “Uncle Gary” last week. The parental units said he traveled very well. I just love this photo. Gary had it on facebook so I stole it for my blog. (Thanks Gar…

That is the face- it is almost like he is so filled with joy it is coming out of his face.

It was a refreshing evening. I love spending time with Jeff and Amanda. They are very good parents. It is good to see Jeff do all the hands on daddy stuff. I can see them palling with “projects” as Brandon gets a little older. Maybe he will have his own little tools…..

 

I just love this shot- they ended up totally stopped in traffic, for 2 + hrs. So they did unhook Brandon from his seat as they sat there. Once the traffic started rolling- he was fastened back up- but this photo shows his curiousness of the situation. It is neat to see the kids start to process thoughts, and cause and actions.

As a parent we are zoned in on the day to day 24 hr a day responsibilities of raising our children, but as a grandparent- I find I have lost that deep focus, and now can enjoy things so much more. I absolutely LOVED every minute of being Jeff’s mom as I was raising him, there is not one moment I would have wanted to live without. But I know there were moments that happened where I might have been distracted from the moment by things I still had to do.

So I thank God for grandchildren- for having me make it through parenting and advance to this incredible role. I hope each of you had a special moment this weekend too. With love, Mrs justa grandma

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