disappointment


Have you ever been so afraid that the fear takes over you?

And what caused you to have that reaction? What things could have happened to make you so scared?

I ask myself that over and over again as we try to work with Riley and her almost Godzilla strength when she starts to freak out. As I posted a couple of posts ago—we had to d/c the big open crate and go with the solid crate.

Well, she was in the crate Thurs evening for a few hours… actually what we know is she was put in the crate at 5:30… We returned at 8:30 and she met us at the front door… Somehow..she got the door backwards, over the stopper that is supposed to keep it from going backwards into the crate, 100_0618

100_0619

How she got the 2 spring loaded posts out of their designated holes for locking the door..and how she got the door to go over the molded door stoppers… I will never know.

We had to take the entire crate apart to get the door back in the correct area. !

SOOO. I have wiped it down, we have taken it apart and we are trying her in the house with out being crated.

Riley is the most gentle , non aggressive dog we have ever come across. SO I can not imagine how she can bend the crates…

It really urks me how someone could have neglected or abused her before she was found and brought to the pound.

 

Riley comes home 6-29-2012 022This was Riley the day we brought her home.

She was not sure what way her life was turning. She did not know us, she could not tell us where she had been or what she had gone through.

But when we called her name..she cowered and belly crawled…

She has come a long way… now she looks at us differently now.

She loves her sweater….100_0621

We got it for her because she gets cold outside,. We got her a second one today.. a Christmas one with white fake fur on it !!

At least her eyes are not so sad anymore.

And today we tested her in the house for an hr. She appears to have done okay. The electric collar keeps her from barking…and that seems to keep her calmer. 100_0597

The kids love her..she loves the kids…

Hopefully we will be able to have her crate free..

And although it is not right to wish evil thoughts on people….whoever owned this precious dog before and treated her poorly… whoever let her go…dropped her off… whatever they did to have her be labeled a stray…. well I hope you pay for your cruelty you did to her.

And also.. thanks for being jerks… we have an awesome dog because of YOU!!!!.

I am off to pet our dog now….

Love to all. Mrs Justa alias Cindy…

Who do you trust, who do you not trust? What can you believe, what can you not believe.

I was on facebook the other day and there was a picture of a guy who was holding up a winning lottery ticket. It was the gigunda one…400 million or some unbelievable amount. Well on it he had a message saying he was going to give 1 million dollars to a random person.

People responded to him, blessed him, I too joined in with a word of support… low and behold it was a prank. I felt embarrassed, I felt naïve, I felt foolish…. but at least it was not just me who was rolled over by the guy… thousands of people liked him, commented, blessed him… and he set us up.

I want to believe people are good, I give people the benefit of the doubt, I work to find the good in people … and poof….someone let’s me down.

I remember with a job I had many many moons ago…. I totally loved the job. The manager told us what a great group we were, we were praised for our efficiency, I had part of my day when I worked on a print cutter , it cut the people’s  negatives and prints at the same time. I learned how to get it to work beyond its settings, by clicking certain switches I bypassed stops… I remember the manager telling me that Kodak was going to send a group of people there to see me run this print cutter. I totally LOVED coming to work. I trusted my boss, trusted the corporation…and than one day poof… the dreaded words… we were closing, relocating to another state.

Trusting people who make promises to you… that always hurts too. The world is filled with promise breakers. People who promise to call you when your vehicle is ready, people who promise a product is great and as you are taking it out of the package it breaks… people who promise to meet you at a certain time..and no show… people who promise to love you forever..only to one day say they never loved you…..

I have learned from these situations,6-25-2012 Syracuse and Oswego NY 011 from these people to carefully say my words… never promise something I can not provide, ..when I say I love you..I mean it…and when I promise to be there forever..I will be.

What you see is what you get..I will not pretend to be something I am not ( LIKE THE CREEP ON FACEBOOK) … We need to all work on being real,,, telling it like it is…. and not trying to bring false threats or false hopes to others.

I hope as the holiday season fills you with real things, no fake promises, no heart break, no disappointments. Love to all, Mrs Justa alais Cindy

parts for spreader 001

So today my numero uno project after errands, and changing towels sheets and stuff was to get the spreader put together. We bought it earlier in the week, and took all the parts out and it sat in the living room, waiting for some attention…. Mark had just fallen asleep in the recliner and I thought “Oh goody..I can surprise him…” Well let’s just say—I DID surprise him. I am an instruction freak. I mean I take reading instructions to a new level of nerdness. I read all the instructions before starting any project ( even changing the light bulbs !) I stop every few seconds to see the labels on the parts and try to figure out the drawings….

So with his snoring in the background I carried carefully each bulky big ass piece into the kitchen. We do not really have a work area- so the island was gonna be my work shop. So I read each word SLOWLY..the various parts are coded… ( this was made in CHINA ( I KNOW THAT IS A SURPRISE!!) and well their translating instructions and the way they label and draw things kind of affects my comprehension sometimes.

So I get this axle on the island… they have this pipe piece and call it by 2 names—but it is only one item.. that took me quite a while to figure out !. The first tire goes onto the axle after I slid on 4 washers and the wheel spacer ( alias small pipe_.. Than the tire slides on and there is a hole in the hub and in the axel—just slide the bolt through the holes after lining them up….and tighten the washer. ( DONE !!) ..As I am trying to get the second part of the axle done—Mark wakes up …. so his surprise is that I am trying to do this. HE comes out to help. It was a rather interesting venture—but we got it together….. sweat, a couple slices here and there..but the old foggies got er done. manual for spreadder 001

We had to work on and off the island as we created this master piece  due to it’s very large size. We get it on the floor and I push it, but the spreader part that spins as the axle turns is not spinning…

Wouldn’t you know. the VERY FIRST STEP !!! I messed up. Yep… I got the bolt thru the hub, nice and snug fit..BUT I DID NOT ALLIGN IT WITH THE AXEL> ( I thought I did..) but as the tire was falling off—it became apparent to me that step one failed.

So now we have this whole gigunda spreader together and step one is in need of being done correctly.

UGGG> there is a reason this is STEP one !!. iT WOULD HAVE BEEN EASIER TO PULL TEETH FROM A RABID ELEPHANT THAN GET THIS TIRE ON THE AXEL NOW !!> But finally after beads of sweat, huff and puffs, a few relooking at the instructions.. and shining a flash light into the hole trying to see when it was lined up… well the spreader is now in the shed—

We are a couple of determined old farts… but I had to laugh.. Mark and I trying to figure out tools, and the this goes there and that goes here…. ugggg. I am glad it is okay…

Mark said ..” I should have left it at Jeff’s and asked him to do it…” but had we done that… well I would not have this adventure to share….

I am going to go grab a nice cold glass of Red Cat and relax now…. laundry is washing, house is 1/2 way to done…. dinner is baking….. spreader is done…

Have a great night…. Love to all, Mrs Justa… alias Cindy

Rileys bent crate and having the boys over 11-17-12 014Have you ever just wanted to run…run and run and run?

Nowhere in particular to go, just not wanting to be where you are at.

Last week felt like that I think for everyone around me. Mark would have loved to run from himself, me, I would have loved to run from the stress of the week…and

Now that I think of it.. even Riley tried to break clean of her fears and panic…..

Rileys bent crate and having the boys over 11-17-12 001

This is Riley’s crate. She is terrified of being left in the crate, and yet she has not proven she is much nicer to the house outside of the crate. So if we had to leave for a while, we crated her….

If you look at the bottom of the crate, she bends it in by biting it, sticking her nose in it and trying to scooch out of it with the door closed and locked. This time she bent it enough in that she literally was scratching at that rug, she got the rug inside the crate and started gnawing on it, trying anything to escape from the crate. So.. the crate is folded up… Riley is on some antidepressants/ Obsessive compulsive meds to see if we can get her to overcome this panic disorder she gets when being left alone.

It really is sad to think that for some reason she is terrified of the crate. If I could find her original owners,RIley 7-19-2012 003 the ones that had to have been mean to her… well I would Have a few things to say to them. Might even smack them aside of their head!

How can people be cruel to another living being?

She is the sweetest dog, she loves to be with people, it is funny ..at night if she gets cold, she burrows under the blanket and sheet and sleeps way down at our feet. She will stay there for hrs.

She is great with the kids, she loves her stuffed animals, LOVES her food, yet deep inside her psychie— someone played with her head…. if she thinks you are angry with her..she cowers…… If you raise your voice out of emotion for anything – she thinks it is for her….

She belly crawls if she thinks she is in trouble. SO our dilemma in life is we have a dog..who hates when we leave. I have a call into the NY State dog whisperer..and we are going to see if he thinks this is something he could assist with. We also are going to try to get her into a doggie day care a couple times a week..and if there is a need for a few hrs of being watched as we try to come to a solution—than we will see if her kennel down the Oswego NY  6-11-12 003street would let her stay for a day.

So as our persistence to get to an end of her fear..

we need to STOP..and work with her.. Patience, positive reinforcement , determination, and slow down…go slow and make sure she feels comfortable along the way.

Please if you have a chance, and feel a tug in your heart… say a prayer for our little girl dog..and hope we can help her become at ease…. all the time.

Love to all….Mrs Justa alias Cindy

I wonder what the world will be100_2850 like when our grandkids are in their 60s? It is a kinda weird thought. By then I know I will be dust in the wind… what will our grandkids have to deal with?

Will there still be this great nation? Will people actually talk to one another? Or will conversation be 2 dimensional, type it, speak it into a device and away it goes?

We have some friends, they have adult children, and those kids still call my husband Mr. Krusen. It does not matter how old they have become, Mark is still older and they show respect.

I have a person in my life, she has always been to me “mom #2”, not because I disowned my mom, but more because she came into my life in my pre-teen years, after my dad had died, and my mom- God Bless her heart..was trying to get an education and support a family of 6 young kids…. as I said a few posts ago..that made my sister Pam and I they care givers for a lot of the days and evenings. Being 10 and 11 when he passed.. we needed a mom… and when this woman moved into our neighborhood… she was someone I could go and talk to…ask questions that I needed answers to… and to this day… I call her Mrs. Fields. I would never argue with her, not even today. She is my elder. We were taught to respect our elders. But I worry with e mails, texting, social networks, …somehow the elders..the respect for them..well that seems like it has disappeared. It is like everyone s trying to get the last word, age does not matter…. slam each other back and forth. Shut the device off..go to another site..and never think about age, respect or end result.

So in 50 + yrs..where will this all lead to? It is so darn impersonal right now..and we are just beginning.

I joked that to have coffee with a friend—save on gas… skype them. But how much of a joke is that? Ya can not touch another’s hand, or see their eyes, or give them a hug thru skype or other communication ways.

There is nothing more dear to me than having a grandchild run to me and say “I love you gramma”…and than try to wrap their tiny arms around me…

I am glad we are still able to100_2224 see our grandkids in person, to talk face to face with our friends, and I just hope as these youth of today grow up..they remember that a card in the mail is better than a wish on face book… picking up a phone and talking is better than texting…and spending time with someone face to face…instead of face into a screen of a smart phone, I pad or computer is what life is about !!.

May you each find comfort in 3 dimensional relationships….interactions…

Love to all.. Mrs Justa…. alias Cindy

tri[ to ohio 3-12-2012 051

I have had to let a couple of days fill in the thoughts and try to make sense of the end result of the election.

I am not going to spend the next 4 yrs dwelling on it, but I was so passionate of what I truly believe the country needed and I am in total shock so many people did not vote. Is it pure empathy? Is it pure obliviousness? Is it that 4 million people felt it was going to be a land slide , so everyone else would vote on their behalf.

For those who stayed out of the polling places….if you are conservative..or leaning more towards the right than left—I say thanks a lot… for your lack of voting—you really gave a vote to the President.

How are people so blind? What caused women to vote for him? I just do not understand. SO my once thinking that vision for the future was clearing up, that we finally made it through 4 yrs of a president tri[ to ohio 3-12-2012 013who has lied to the American People, who hid things to satisfy his popularity, who has the majority of the media supporting him…who does not show true love of this country ….somehow  people got sucked in….. So I am afraid for our kids… our nieces, nephews and more our grandchildren. What will the USA be like for them?Fortunately for me… my number of years to vote is far less going forward than the times I voted in the past.

SO going forward….Poor Riley has a pretty severe case of separation anxiety. Mark teases me because I embellish her past, when we do not know what she experienced before the shelter for sure. We just took her to the vet, they did blood work, everyone camping KOA Canandaigua 7-23 - 25 009who meets her loves her..But when she knows we are leaving, we have to put her in her crate. We have this humungous one—as she totally freaked from the smaller enclosed one..and when we get home..her bed is wet from drooling—as she pants a good part of the time we are gone. She literally bends the bars on the crate trying to escape.

We consulted a trainer who is going to work with us in conjunction with the vet… it would be nice to get her to a point where we could leave her in the house…without the crate. But right now… NOT SO MUCH>.She goes nuts, jumping up, pulling things off the dresser/ counters… the vet says she is freaking  out because she does not think we will return. She was abandoned, found as a stray and brought into the SPCA….knowing her..that must have been so scary for her. SHE LOVES to please you, and be right by your side. If I walk her by traffic she gets nervous… if she thinks we are leaving she trembles…So pray for the vet and trainer to be able to get her more secure on the leaving part…. I hope you are all okay… will be back again soon… Love to all.. Mrs Justa..alias Cindy

I for one will be glad when the election is done.100_0410 I am so sick of the accusations, the blindness, the short term memory people, people who can not remember the promises made 4 yrs ago, and where we are today.

I am floored that the pollsters are saying it is a tie…. I am floored so many in my family are blind to the reality. It is like everyone is drinking koolaid. I am just in shock.

I truly believe if we continue another 4 yrs on this path..we are in deep trouble. Our children and our grandchildren need a future other than one of socialism and debt.

I do not know if Gov. Romney is the be all end all..but I believe he deserves a chance to help us. I believe he TRULY is compassionate for this country and the people in it. I believe he means well….

As  I think of these past 4 yrs, of our President apologizing more than once to the mid eastern countries for America, I am embarrassed….. I look at the recent terroristbenghazi_151807080_620x350 attack in Bengazi and our president, Secretary of State and UN rep all going on about a YouTube video was why it happened.. and apologizing for it!!! And I am amazed how left sided the media is. I am amazed that there is not more across the media of the attack in Bengazi… heck if a republican had been in ofc and that happened ( which it would not have..had a republican been in office) that president would have been smeared and probably charged with treason…impeachment…

I am totally disappointed in the whole thing. People called for help… our leaders in the  country ignored the pleas… well not all the country ignored the pleas… one brave man went and sacrificed his life for his country.

I am disappointed that people are not demanding to see what the implications of Health Care Reform has already been and will be….

I am flabbergasted that no one is bringing up all the wasted government spending..the printing of $$….having the president and his family take separate jets to the same destination for vacation hours apart… how the president chose to go to the NJ shore for Hurricane Sandy because of the political implications from h m doing it…. –but was not as eager to appear in the other natural disaster areas… How it seems that people’s suffering will be addressed IF there is political gain from it.

Or how there is booing of God… taking God out of the pledge…

IT IS NOT OKAY>>>>>

We …as a country ..gave this man a chance… and he has proven he knows how to campaign—as he has been going going going since his last election— campaigning… but not being presidential. Oh he is a smooth talker..( as long as he has a tele-prompter) ….  but he has not led the country. People are suffering and he is on Jay Leno… the View….insulting peoples intelligence with tactics….

I am so disappointed in the people who are turning the other cheek multiple times, those ignoring the fact that the president has been a divider more than a person bringing the country together. HIs comment the other day ( yesterday maybe) about “don’t boo…. Vote…voting is the best revenge” Are ya kidding me??? REVENGE>>>> No damn it… the reason to vote is for the best chance as a country we have to move forward..not because you wanna act revengefully. AHHH>>>>> HE had his chance..he failed….

9-2012 017I hope that people stop… look… listen…and not get sucked up to the few hours the president actually paid attention to the country and joined hands with the governor of NJ>>>>   please vote for the future… PLEASE>>>> thanks Mrs Justa alias Cindy

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