Elbert Hubbard said

“Your friend is the one who knows

all about you

and still likes you.”

I was thinking about that quote as I was thinking about the few friends I have in life. And this is humorously and sadly true.

100_5292 Do you have a friend or two that have known you for years? And if you do, think back to the different things you may have done along the pathway of life, choices made, maybe fads you became a part of, or paths your chose that were not walked on by many, hair styles, clothes, foolish mistakes, illnesses, …I do not know about you but when I really think what my friends , my family have seen me do and go through in life- DANG it is kinda embarrassing –kinda of disbelieving.

I have a friend who has been there for me for 25 years.Along the way in these 25 years I was lucky enough to marry him. But he has seen me though many times, many choices… and it is amazing he still likes me !  The first time we met- back in 1985- he was 32 years old. He had a broken heart- as did I- and we were trying like heck to make sense of our lives- our spouses had each chosen to stop being married to us- for reasons I think neither of us understood. We met at a peer support group called Alternatives- and I remember how shy I felt going in there that first night. I am a VERY shy person. I knew no one and I had a therapist who recommended this group to go to, so that I could try to find some direction in my life. This therapist had started out as a marriage therapist for me and my husband- but when it was determined that my husband really was looking in another direction- well I started to see the therapist by myself.

From that day in July 1985- I can not even begin to list all the crazy thing Mark has seen me do, the mistakes I have made, the times of stress, the times of uncertainty— heck our first real date was in the end of August 1985-we were going about 2 hrs away to a concert in Niagara Falls , I had a picnic packed, the tickets and our money snuggly in my purse… and off we went. We stopped in town for ice for the cooler and the first of our “Mark and Cindy’s Wonderful Advertures “ was about to take place…

Well we got about an hour down the road, and had stopped for a drink and to buy a map- and it was at that moment in Brockport that I realized the purse was no where. It was the hottest most humid day I think I can remember, and I remember telling Mark _ ( who was pretty much still a person I did not know real well, )that I think I left the purse on the roof of the car in Honeoye Falls. I had NO IDEA what his reaction would be—I felt so embarrassed and ashamed!.. But he was cool- he said- let’s head back… We hauled back to the store where the purse was last seen and  we walked I bet 3 1/2 miles searching ditches, on each side of the road. I kept walking, Mark would drive his car a bit up the road and than walk back towards me- than we would cross the road and head back to the car. I can still see him sweating like crazy, and I remember thinking “ good one Cindy- you can kiss this guy goodbye REAL quick”

Well the long and short of it was we did not find it, 100_5352 we headed back to the apartment and I knew I could ask the downstairs neighbor if we could borrow her phone to call the manager to get let into the apartment. ( Since I also had no keys anymore !!!!)

To my surprise the neighbor said “I have been waiting for you, my brother in law found your purse in the road and saw your address and brought it here. !” Money, tickets, and faith in the human race hit – and we still made it to the concert ! It was awesome… but what is more awesome- after 25 years of sun rises and sunsets— after so many things I have done and said….he still likes me .

Ha- I could go on  with other friends and not believing they still like me… but I will save it for another day…

A word to the wise… do not ever use the roof of your car for anything—not that morning coffee cup ( done that too !!!) , your purse.a bag of groceries, a car seat… . nothing…

Love to all. Mrs Justa.. alias Cindy