Life.. the older I get the quicker it seems to fly by.

100_6246 I was thinking about that as I was out shooting some photos of the sites around our home, and the sun was setting. I got to thinking about all kinds of stuff, and how no matter how many sunsets come and go, there are parts of my life that seem like they just happened.

My brother jokingly made a comment that I am about to out live my dad, and I thought of way back when, when I was 10, and hearing that my dad had died. Man that is fresh in my memory, and whoa, it makes me think a lot about this was all the life he was given. He had turned 57 in July of 1963 and he died on Nov 3rd of 1963. I am about to turn 57, but I think I am healthier than my dad was. We are exercising and watching what we eat, my blood pressure hovers around 113/64 and my cholesterol has never been an issue, and EKGs and a stress test a few years back all were normal.

So , gosh I hope I break his pattern of life-years. 100_5328

How sad though really… to only live for 57 years. To never see the child your wife was about have, to never see the other 8 children you have, to think you were about to come home from the hospital and never wake up again. Sad.. really sad.

Than I was think about years later and finding out my first marriage was in trouble. Boy, I thought there was supposed to be warnings, but none I saw. I was fricken oblivious to the whole thing going down in a spiral, and he just assured me things were okay. I thought he had a friend, he said she was just a person in need of help… so I trusted that, and than one day… poof… the rug taken from under my feet, and there I am facing the world with a 2 1/2 yr old in hand- hoping I would see the sun rise. For I was definitely seeing it setting.

The pain from both of these life challenging events- it does not go away, it is like that one song that Trisha Yearwood sings about “The Song Remembers When”… we all have moments in our life, and I was thinking as I was watching the sun set, that those moments are setting suns in a way… they are ends to chapters, and hopes that life will be there for a new chapter.

I wonder if there are people who have never had that type of pain? That kick –  the gut wrenching pain when it is a total turn in life? I was told once that each gut wrench is supposed to make us stronger… but I think it makes us more withdrawn in a way. I vowed a very long time ago I would never break the trust of another, I would not lie, and I would not make the most of each day. For through the loss of both parents – it became so important to remember to leave wherever I am with a positive memory… and through the loss of a marriage.. I learned to never pretend to care… people I love, they know I love them, and I will never let them down. I wish you all peace, I wish you well, I hope you have beautiful sunsets and  peaceful sunrises…. —until later…  I hope you each have a good night. Cindy

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