“Insist on yourself. Never imitate.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Have you ever been around people who act a certain way if they are in one situation or around one person and then they are totally different when the situation changes, or new people come into the mix?

Have you ever been in a situation where your knowings and feelings are telling you something is right or wrong, but you feel you can not act your knowings and feelings, you will let whatever the situation is happen.

I am brought back to my younger years, and I knew what I was about to do was wrong, that if my mom found out I would be dead meat… but sometimes I would do it because peer pressure was stronger then my ability to be myself. At those times, I was a mere imitation of myself. And now 40+ years later, none of the people I pretended for are around , I have not contacted them, nor they me. So looking back, I cheated myself of a time to be me.

I find this sometimes when I feel an invisible force pushing on the small of my back pushing me into a conversation or a situation that I am trying to stay away from. In the environment in which I work, customer service is essential. We teach it to everyone and encourage everyone and coach them as needed in tough situations. There may be something that can happen, that really has nothing to do with me or my department, yet, I see something wrong and I try to convince myself it has nothing to do with me, but that pushing force in the small of my back and the  yelling in my ear that the customer is being affected get the real me out in the forefront every time. Insisting on myself- is acting on the push and yell.

In a store that has happened, where I have gone to cash out and the cashier has a look on her face that makes it appear she wants to be anywhere else but here, like I am intruding by expecting her to cash me out. She almost looks angry she is working !! Imagine that! ( I love working) So a part of me wants to get out of her line, either by checking out quickly or changing lanes, but the me, pushes me to either try to talk to her, or at least give a heads up to her manager to see if she is okay.

I am not perfect though, I do let the Satan part of the interactions get the best of me and walk on by, try to ignore what ever the situation is. I do joke that it would be nice to have tunnel vision, to not see or feel the world around me , and how certain things affect others. But I can not be that way, I do insist on being me. ( I may not always like the me I am…) But I try very hard to always be me. No surprises, no hidden agendas, just me, non imitation pure me. Good luck being you, the real you. Love to all, Cindy

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